Health, Wellness, and Understnding Jesus (part 3)

I'm finally back on track with my little delve into the beatitudes (Matt 5:3-12). It's interesting to me that where I left off meshes so well with my struggle to lose this baby weight. Coincidence? Nah - I don't believe in coincidence.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

I've said it before, but obviously this truth is not yet buried deep in my heart...God cares about my weight loss! He cares because my health matters to Him. He cares because His Spirit dwells within this body. He cares because He knows that food (no matter how yummy) will never fill me up. Him, His Word, living for Him, striving for righteousness - these things will fill me up. If my heart's desire is to be filled by the Lord, food will take it's rightful place in my life. Rather than being the thing I seek when I'm stressed or lonely, food will exist for my nutrition and sustenance. When I'm stressed or lonely there is One who is so much better that can fill me up. The effect will be immediate and satisfying, and it won't add another roll to the muffin top.

Thank-you, Jesus!

I'm sure a few people are curious about my progress, so in the spirit of keeping it real and being accountable - you better get cheering! On Monday AM my weight was 153.8 lbs (down 4.6 in 2 weeks). Wooooohoooo! And what's more important, I feel good. My back pain has really eased - still there more often than not, but I don't have to get up at 4am and walk around my house. (Weird how a few extra pounds can cause such havoc on the body.) Oh, and I can now wear 3 pairs of jeans, instead of that same one pair over and over again. Yay! :)

To see how other are choosing to live well, click the pear picture at the top...

Tiny Talk Tuesday

My kids are pretty darn funny sometimes. If you want to hear what other cuties are saying, visit Mr. Linky over at Mary's - Not Before 7.

Heard early this morning, as I called Abbey upstairs to get ready for school...
Megan (4 1/2): Abbey! Mom is calling you to get dressed for school. NOW GO!
Abbey (6), very tired and whiney today: I wannna watch the moooovieeeee....
Meg: Abbey - obey your mother!

The 3 girls (A & M mentioned above and Shea - 2 1/2) were playing out in our green, hauling all kinds of kiddie-sized lawn chairs out there. I watched them set them in a circle, sit in them for a while, then haul them all back to our yard. I asked Abbey (well, I think it was her, but to be honest, some days the girls all blur together) what they were doing out there with the chairs.
Abbey: We were having a meeting, Mom!

Braeden (almost 10): Mom, you're pretty.
Mom: Thanks, sweetheart. You just made me feel so good!
Braeden, blushing: Awwww, Mo-om!

I'm sure there are a million smart and funny things I could share, but I'm still under the fog of daylight savings time and can't recall a thing!

How Could I Resist?

There's this really great girl named Cindy, whose site I've been lurking at for ages. Cindy has LOTS of friends (yes, I'll admit it, I'm a wee bit jealous of the fact that everything she posts, even what she coins as her "most boring post...ever written" gets AT LEAST a dozen comments - usually more up around 20). One of Cindy's friends (I have no idea if they're real or cyber buddies, but really, what's the difference these days?) is Lysa TerKeurst. Yes, the author!!! The very funny, very real, totally cool woman who inspires millions of others to draw closer to God.

I think in order to make us all feel better about ourselves, Lysa confessed to feeding her family Chef Boyardee Pizza in a Box on a regular basis! God bless, Lysa! Due to her culinary challenges, Lysa is hosting a recipe swap. Yay! I sooooo need some new ideas around here.

So here's what's for dinner tonight (well, by the time I got this posted, the meal was served LAST night - it was deeeelicious): BBQ Chicken Breasts.

This is an easy crock pot recipe for those busy crazy days.

Mix together (in a bowl or right in the crock pot) -

large onion, chopped (I seldom have onions, so I use a generous portion of dried/ dehydrated minced onion)

1 cup ketchup

1 cup water

1/2 cup vinegar

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1 tsp worcestershire sauce (can I confess that I've never had this and simply add soya sauce to every recipe that calls for it)

1 tsp salt.

Add as many boneless, skinless chicken breasts as you'd like (around here it's 6 for just family or more for guests, and I never need to make more sauce - this is enough).

Cook on high for about 6 hours.

Serve with microwaved baked potatoes or minute rice (mmmm, minute rice is really good for soaking up the sauce).

BTW, I use this recipe for virtually ALL BBQ flavored foods - spareribs, hamburgers when they need to be made ahead and kept moist...

Enjoy!

MIA

Yes, that's me. Missing. In. Action. Suddenly, life just tipped slightly to the far side of chaos. So, here's a quick blurb to update...

Weight loss - You noticed the lack of a 'Live Well Wed' post? Sorry. I actually totally forgot to weigh in this week! I've been trying to eat well, but not starve myself. And the exercise routine has been pretty slow in developing. BUT, at least 10 women commented that I was looking thinner on Wed, so I'll take that as an affirmative weigh-in. I will totally be there next Wed (hopefully).

Family - Pat has been away for work more than expected, which just throws a loop into life in general. The routine is all out-of-whack, resulting in the kids' behavior getting a little whacky, too. I'm trying to be a not-too-loud and cranky Mommy, but so far I'm averaging about 1 for 5. Boo!

Ministry - I've inadvertently taken on the job of leading our Wed AM women's group. At first, VERY reluctantly (as it's busy enough taking care of the administrative details and relational stuff of leading women's ministry, let alone adding the leading of a weekly event). But God has been working on me, softening me up, and I'm really growing excited about that, too! A few women have approached me with interest in being part of the leadership team for next year - so it seems Friendship Factor may actually have a TEAM next year rather than a couple women. Phew. (But I'll let you in on a secret and a prayer request - I'm kinda beginning to sense that I'll be in the lead position for that ministry area for at least the next year. In addition to my regular 'job' of overseeing WOW as a whole.) Fun. Exciting. Slightly crazy. Busy. But so blessed.

Also, our women's retreat is fast approaching, and the busy factor is rising exponentially! I'm so very excited about what God will do at this retreat, through His servant Shannon Ethridge! This, my friends, is the kind of excitement/stress I live for. And I am so thankful that God provided a beautiful woman to lead this year - I get to enjoy doing the work and getting my hands dirty, with none of the heavy responsibility (nor the constant last minute phone calls, lol).

So, that's it in a nutshell. Better get back to the housework - this place is a pigsty!

When Mom's Away, the Kids will Play

I uploaded photos yesterday, and was puzzled by what I was seeing.


I kept thinking to myself, "Who took that? When was it taken? Did I really let the kids have the camera? NO! It couldn't have been me, they're holding printed pics (in color, gasp) from the computer. That is on the list of not allowed things to do! What is going on here???"





Then, I discovered the true CULPRIT.....

No, no, note the cute 6-year-old posing in front! Try the Grandma standing at the counter! Ah-ha!!!!! Busted.

(FYI, you may have noticed the lack of boys. #1 - Baby Kai cannot operate the camera, not can he pose in silly ways. Either the girls ignored him or he was napping. #2 - Braeden and I were in Calgary visiting doctors. Poor guy had to miss out on all the mischief.)

(And BTW, isn't our tile mosaic backsplash so totally awesome??? Pat does great work. Now if I could just get the ugly cupboards refinished...)

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Link up to share your tiny talker's tidbits on Mary's site.

Thanks to the lovely springish weather, the kids have spent many hours out-of-doors this week! Yay! For those not here in Red Deer, you wouldn't know that we live in a large close with a huge grassy space and several little groves of trees - it's about the size of 2 football fields - called a green (in these parts). So, the 3 girls are out in the green gathering fallen branches and dragging them across the road to our front yard (don't worry about the road, it's a close and everyone who drives on it lives in it, and everyone who lives in it knows we've got a gaggle of kids over here, lol). They proceeded to stick the branches in the pile of snow on our front yard. Grandma pulls up and chats with the girls to see what kind of fun they're up to. Meg (4 1/2) tells Grandma, "We're planting the trees. That means we're taking care of God's world, doesn't it?" I just LOVE it when they take the things of God to heart!

Sweet little Shea (2 1/2) is definitely two, with a vengeance! The child cries and screams with hysteria about practically everything. Her feelings are going through a very tender phase. Early this morning (ridiculously) I hear her shrieks from downstairs in Abbey & Meg's room. I run, imagining the worst (dresser fell on her, someone is trying to murder her, etc.). Arriving downstairs, I see no blood or broken bones - a good sign - and ask Shea what's wrong. "Abbey, Meggie, no be my friend! Waaaaaaaa!" Oh. My. Goodness. I am going to lose my ever-living mind if this craziness doesn't end soon!!!

Everything that Braeden (almost 10) had to say this week involved a scowl and a growl. Bad mood, bad attitude. No fun at all. Suggestions? Yes Mom, I know I need to look for the positive, and I'm sure there were some great and funny things (because Braeden is the funniest kid I've ever met), but I just can't recall anything but the grouchy mood that dominated.

Abbey (6) is in Kindergarten at our local Christian school. Their most recent class project was to adopt a polar bear. While we were praying at bedtime one night this week, Abbey pipes in, "please take care of the bears that live in the icy lands, because soon there will be no more."

Kai (almost 6 months) has been learning to shriek lately, which is both hilarious and painful on the eardrums. Hopefully I can catch him on video for next week. Oh, and can I just ask - how old were your kids when they started crawling? The girls all started around 8-9 months, Braeden was obviously later - 2 1/2 - due to cerebral palsy, but this little man is totally trying to crawl already! Is this normal? Or insane???

The Fugitive

Perhaps some of you didn't hear about the unbelievably stupid fantastic Christmas gift Santa dropped off for our kids? (BTW, thanks a lot Santa, you idiot you're the greatest!) I'd like to introduce you to our newest rodent family member, Tinkerbell (the kids all agreed that Shea's name choice was better than Princess, Lightning McQueen, or Barbie).



Every Saturday, Mom gets the job of cleaning the cage of the disgusting little critter cute little furball. In order to accomplish this task, Tinkerbell must be safely contained in another facility - hence the pink ball with lid also left by Mr. Clause. As the children gleefully torment follow the rolling ball containing a rodent, Mom gags and scrubs and gags some more. Once clean, the hamster hotel is filled back up with fresh bedding, food, and water for our darling Tinkerbell.

This Saturday, task completed, said Mom wanders around the house in search of said rodent in pink ball...only to discover this:

(notice the plate with hamster food and penut butter - I heard they like it - strategically placed to lure Tink out of her hiding spot)


Dad was laughing, but with the uncanny ability that all mammals have, Tink could smell his fear. She was NOT going down without a fight. Dad and the kids were sent away, and Mom patiently (and oh so quietly) waited... Ta-da!


Now that's one adventure to go down in Tink's journal!

Understanding Jesus, installment 2

Blessed are those who mourn...

I know that when we mourn and grieve, the Holy Spirit comforts us. But I also know that we are not supposed to wallow in mourning (after the loss of a loved one, for example) because those who love Jesus get to be with Him. For the past couple days I have been mulling this concept about in my head...why then, does Jesus seem to be encouraging us to mourn? Yesterday in Church we sang a song with the words, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." I tend to think that the blessing (in this case, comfort) is given when we mourn for those things that Jesus mourns for: lost souls, broken relationships, starving children, aborted babies, people full of bitterness and hatred.

Blessed are the meek...

Isn't Jesus the funniest guy? Like really, He just keeps telling us to be different! Our world gives honor to the strong, powerful, successful...Jesus tells us to be meek! In my mind, this word meek is equated with 'wimpy.' Not just physically weak, but in personality too. You know, that person who stands and lets another berate her - tear a strip out of her - and simply looks at the floor and takes it, a doormat. I had to dig a bit to see if Jesus was really asking me to be a doormat.

The concordance in my Bible defines meek as 'humble before God.' Humble is a word I understand a bit better. To be humble is to not take all the glory for yourself, even if you deserve it. To be humble is to be truly repentant when you do something wrong. To be humble is to strive to do good for the sake of doing good, rather than seeking recognition.

Proverbs 11:2 says with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 3:34 tells us that [He] gives grace to the humble. Psalm 18:27 tells us that He save[s] the humble. Don't we all desire wisdom? Don't we want, no need, grace (forgiveness)? Is there anyone who doesn't want to be saved, to be rescued? To experience these blessings here on earth, all we need to do is put Jesus first and ourselves last. We don't need to be doormats, weak and pathetic. In fact, we need to be strong enough to turn praise and glory away from ourselves and lift it up to God, who truly deserves it.

Phew, God doesn't ask much of us, does He (LOL)?! These heart attitudes, these ways to be, they can sound so simple on the first reading, but with a little exploration I am realizing that I require a total attitude overhaul...

Understanding Jesus

I've been reading through Matthew these days, and I'm surprised to find that it's taking a while. It seems that everywhere I go there are words that are more to me than they were before. I have this desire to dig deeper into these words and understand more clearly what they mean - what Jesus means when He speaks them. Hopefully you can bear with my fumbling learning curve as I work through some parts of the sermon on the mount, starting with the beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12)...

Blessed are the...

I think it's important to first figure out what Jesus means by the term 'blessed.' In my everyday life, I often equate blessings and things. For example, "What a beautiful home you have," "Thank-you, we're very blessed." Or, "God has blessed me with these children/this marriage/these friends." To be honest, I really don't think that's what Jesus is getting at here. I really can't imagine Him sitting on this big hill, chatting with his disciples while a crowd of people listens in, telling them "Now, if you are poor in spirit, meek, merciful, etc., I assure you that you will have a life full of great things that you can give Me credit for."

I think the key to 'blessed are those' is found at the end of each verse: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... for they will be comforted... for they will inherit the earth... for they will be filled... for they will be shown mercy... for they will see God... for they will be called [daughters] of God... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... and finally - because great is your reward in heaven. Jesus isn't telling me how to get everything I want or need here, but He is telling me how to get the ONLY thing I really need! He cares so much that I receive this 'blessing' that He provides me with a thorough list of the character attributes He wants me to develop, in order to receive His great heavenly rewards.

...poor in spirit

Okay, I must confess that I initially read over this the same way I would skim a phrase in a novel that I didn't completely understand. Like understanding that one phrase probably won't affect the overall impact of the story. In fact, I flew all the way through Matthew's fifth chapter, and it was only once I reached the end that I realized I didn't truly grasp any of what Jesus was talking about! We all know what it means to be poor, right? To do without, to have not. Or in terms of a poor performance - weak, lacking, unsatisfactory, inferior. So is Jesus really saying we will be blessed if our spirit (or spirtual lives) are weak? I couldn't wrap my head around this, because I know that Christ has called me to grow strong in Him, so I pulled out my handy google search engine. After reviewing about 5 different takes on it, my heart settled on this: we are poor in spirit, imperfect and lacking. To accept this fact and acknowledge that, on our own, we are spiritual nothings, destitute - we can do nothing apart from Christ - this is what it means to be poor in spirit. Ah-hah

Isaiah 66:2b This is the one I esteem: [she] who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

Oh, to be esteemed by God Himself! Our pastor often speaks of having a contrite heart and spirit, of putting ourselves in our rightful place (way below God). This heart attitude, a BE-attitude, will reap unimaginable rewards in heaven. Oh Father, that I would be poor in spirit and beautiful in Your eyes...

Resisting Temptation

This past week has been tough! I am using Weight Watchers to help me watch my eating, because I find if I'm without 'rules' to follow I give in to temptation far too easily. I'm only allowed 22 points per day, which I'm guessing is close to 1200 calories. Two weeks ago, when I was full-time breastfeeding, I was able to eat 30 points per day. BIG change in eating habits! But I made it!!!

I was fairly lazy this week...just couldn't seem to get motivated to exercise. But last night Pat did pilates and an aerobics video with me (if you saw the 'girlie' moves they were doing, you'd be so impressed). Sweet, sweet man, willing to set aside his weight bench to help motivate me.

This morning, God gave me some great encouragement to resist temptation - the temptation to overeat or make poor choices, the temptation to be lazy and unmotivated, the temptation to give up. Matthew 4:4 says Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" When I read those words it struck me, I don't NEED potato chips or an extra serving of dinner. I don't NEED to rest and relax. The One and Only thing I need is the Word of God! I do believe that God intends for me to be healthy and well, free from back pain and free from vices. He can help me do this! How terrible that I only now realize how much God really has to do with my weight loss, how much He really cares.

Here are my 'tales from the scales' for this week...
weight: 158.4 lbs (lost 1.4)
body fat: 30% (lost 1)
Not the amazing results I was hoping for, but in keeping with how hard (or not) I worked. And a loss is a loss, right?

Tiny Talk Tuesday

A bunch of women (including myself) were busy making packages for the craft at our upcoming women's retreat. Megan (4) enters the rooms and wonders what we're doing. I tell her that we're putting together a craft for the ladies to do on the retreat. Incredulous, she exclaims, "But adults don't do crafts!" (Note to self: make an effor to 'appear' slightly more interested in crafty things for the sake of the children.)

Shea (2) has 2 favorites lately. Instead of aruging by saying 'no,' she prefers "actually..." (pronounced ak-chu-leeee). Miss independent also likes to insist, "I do it my OWN self!"

This past weekend, Braeden (9) had the opportunity to attend Snow Camp - sponsored by our local radio station and Tim Horton's (which, for you Americans out there, is kinda like Starbucks only better, lol). The poor boy was not pleased about boarding the bus; when they returned I learned that he cried for an hour :(. Saying prayers on Sunday night, Braeden wants to thank God for Snow Camp and all the fun and friends...Amen. As I'm closing his bedroom door I hear, "Mom?"
Me: "Yes, Braeden?"
B: "I go to Snow Camp again?"
Me: "Well, maybe someday, sweetheart" (sha, not likely kiddo!).
B: "I go on Friday?"
Me: "Um, no bud, let's give it some time okay."
LOL - kids!

To see what other people's kids are saying, check out Mary's page.

On Attitudes

I have been super grouchy lately. Not to the point where I'm nasty to be around (though you'd have to ask Pat to be sure), but just where I'm scowly and grumbly.

For example, our retreat committee met yesterday to do some assembly for the craft. Basically, we needed to put all the pices together in a Ziplock bag so when the women at the retreat want to do their craft everything they need is already together. Now, if you don't know me you might not be aware of my 'quirks.' One of these quirks is my utter lack of craftiness. I am terrible at anything craft-related! Not only that, but I just don't enjoy it. (Give me a bunch of walls to paint and I'm in my glory, but DO NOT ask me to create a lovely handicraft!) I digress... Anyway, we're there to work and to fellowship, so you'd think I could deal. Nope. Hated it. So un-fun. The worst part is, though, that this 'hated it' attitude was written all over my face for 4 hours!

I know in my heart that, in spite of the unpleasantness of the task, I could have chosen to enjoy my time with 9 totally great women. I could have taken joy in the throng of children in and out of the room, rather than feeling irritable about how rambunctious they were. I could have done the work with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. But I didn't. What's even worse is that I am noticing this attitude issue cropping up all over the place.

Maybe I need more sleep (after all, waking up 4 times each night is probably not quite what my body needs). Maybe I need Christine (my BFF who is working full-time for a few months...we normally talk about everything several times a day, now we talk about nothing once a week). Normally, I'm a fairly optimistic gal; I like to encourage others to see the good in things. I don't really know where all this crabbiness is coming from, but that's not really important. I need to figure out how to change it!

So I was thinking, what would I do (if I were feeling inspired and creative) to help my children learn about having a good attitude? Ah-ha! The answers to all life's questions can be found in one precious Book... Here's one little tidbit of God's advice to me on attitudes:

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
I really like how the Message puts it...
Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work. [or a bad attitude]

Here's where you, my reader-friends come in. I need help! I seem to be having some difficulty finding more Scripture about changing my attitude. So I need you to please comment and leave me some more verses!

Complacency

Do you ever start to feel complacent, apathetic even, in your faith? I know there are times when I do...

When life is rolling along smoothly - no major issues with any of the kids, marriage is feeling solid, ministry is growing - it's almost as if God gets nudged back in my life. My time is filled with going to Church and Bible study, serving in ministry, reading good books about God. But time spent, just God and I, slips away.

I tend to develop this mindset of, "God has me so busy at home and in ministry, and I really grow through the act of serving, so it's all good." I keep on plugging ahead, and I'm certain I really am learning, growing, and changing...but I'm missing something vital - connecting, knowing His heart for me. Though my Spirit is shouting at me that it needs more, my flesh tells me that this is enough. I get 'settled' and become complacent. Sound familiar?

Did you know that the Bible isn't just a good book or a bunch of words that God wants us to read? Recently I learned that His Word is His love letter - to me! That's kind of hard to grasp, I know. Take a moment to consider your first big crush... He's theeee cutest boy in school, and he likes YOU! You go to your locker and discover an envelope stuffed inside, with a note in it! What do you do? You might eagerly tear it open right there, unwilling to wait even one minute before drinking in his adoring words. Maybe you tuck it away to read in the quiet stillness later, when you can really savour each precious phrase.

God has given us a love letter like that - how can we go to His Book with anything less than eager anticipation of how His words of love can fill our lives? Oh, I'm so sad to say that I often open my Bible with a sense of duty rather than excitement. I can just imagine the look on my husband's face if he gave me a Valentine's card and I opened it with the attitude, "well, I'll read it because I have to, sigh." His very Spirit would be crushed. And yet I do this to my LORD!

Father,
I pray that I will not have a complacent faith. Give me a passion and excitement to be with You, to bask in Your Presence, and especially to read the beautiful love letter You wrote just for me. Forgive me, Lord, for the way my attitude has hurt You. I love you so much, God! Please, change my heart so that my actions and time spent reflects how deeply I love you.
In Jesus Beautiful Name,
Amen

A Day in the Life

I always wonder about what other women do... so I thought if I show you mine, maybe you'll show me yours? (Agenda for the day, I mean.)

6am - Pat's alarm sounds, he hits snooze
6:11 - ditto
6:22 - ditto
6:30 - my alarm sounds (much better radio station than his, lol); today I hit snooze (I would say that 3/6 days I do this, the other 3 I actually get up, Saturdays I don't set an alarm)
6:33 - Pat's alarm again, snooze again
6:38 - my alarm again (like really, with his alarm going every 11 min and mine every 8, why do we even bother?! - there's no way this can be classified as more sleep); I'm irritated by the constant and clashing radio music, so I get up... brew a pot of coffee... sit down for my God time, today I decide to just spend time in prayer (sometimes I just work on a study book or read my Bible, and if I'm honest there are days I end up doing nothing - a variety of reasons for this, as you can imagine with 5 kids, lol)
6:44 - Pat's alarm, snooze
6:55 - ditto
7:06 - Pat's alarm, he gets up! (why the man doesn't just set his alarm for 7am, I'll never know?!)
7:10 - Kai starts hollering from his crib - needs a diaper change and a bottle - ready to conquer the world
7:15 - finally, I get to pour a cup of that coffee!
7:25 - Abbey & Meg appear upstairs, starving and already bickering; cereal is served (in case you're wondering, if fast and easy equalled fine cuisine I'd be a gourmet chef!)
7:30ish-9ish - this is when time begins to blur all together in the flurry of breakfast, brushing teeth, packing backpacks, leaving for work, leaving for school, numerous requests for juice and wiping of bums, noses, etc...

9 - by now, the big kids are off to school (Abbey only goes to Kindergarten on T/ Th/ every 2nd Fri; Meg goes to playschool Wed/ Fri mornings; Braeden, of course, goes to school M-F), Malakai is typically ready to lay down for a nap, and whatever combination of children are still at home are busily engaged in singing/ dancing/ gymnastics routines in the middle of the living room
9-noon - depending on the day of the week, you'll find me any number of places, not usually at home --- really, I should be at the gym EVERY morning working out (haven't been there once in over 2 weeks, boo!) --- (Mon, lazy home day; Tues, was Meg's gymnastics until she refused to participate 3 weeks in a row, now ?; Wed, Frienship Factor at our Church; Th, housework day; Fri, errands)
...today's morning agenda includes: vacuum, dust, windex, sweep, swiffer, scrub tubs/sinks/toilets, clean the disgusting little rodent's cage (thanks a lot, Santa), laundry, kitchen, help the kids sort toys back into their proper locations... (I should be honest here and tell you that I'm not really as organized as it sounds, lol, I am looking at my giant calendar as I type - there are an unfortunate number of days where appointments get missed, oops, if I forget to refer to the oh-so-vital calendar!)

noon - lunch time, which we all look forward to (the kids likely had a snack or two mixed in with all the morning schmazzle); lunch is typically mac & cheese, alphaghetti, grilled cheese, soup, or some such fancy fare for the kids; mom has salad, yougart, fruit, or when we've got a little extra $ a microwavable Weight Watchers meal
1pm - NAP TIME/QUIET TIME - NO EXCEPTIONS!!!; now, if I've been home, I'm sure I've checked email at least 4 times by now (it's in my living room, so when I hear the ding, I go running!), but this is the time I typically veg and read blogs, check facebook, etc; I also try to sqeeze in some work time for women's ministry, as there's always something to be done (lots of time spent just chatting on the phone, which can be great but exhausting... email... website maintenance... event/retreat planning... etc.)
2:35 - Braeden's bus delivers him to our doorstep. (I know, ridiculously early, isn't it?!) Apparently shortening the day for the special needs class that he's in makes it easier for the teachers - what about the parents, lol. Wonderfully, this is his time to play his play station or go down the street to his buddy's house (who's in the same class and also gets home ridiculously early).

3 - by now, all semblance of quiet time is thrown to the wind and loud is the new rule; I try to do supper prep, talk on the phone, keep the kids busy, and stay on top of the email (I am unable to bear the concept that an email would arrive and I would miss it somehow by not checking immediately, lol - Pat thinks I have a problem, I call it 'organization' and 'staying on top of things')
4 - run out to meet Abbey's bus around the corner (thankfully, another mom walks Abbey and her friend to the bus in the morning), bringing an assortment of kids or not, depending who wants to come (if no one comes, I am pretty much okay with leaving them for the 5-10 minutes it takes, as long as I know they're occupied with TV or a snack and as long as Kai is not on the floor - thankfully, he's still typically sleeping)
4-6:30 - again, enter the crazy zone! (I once received a phone call as we were preparing to sit down for dinner, and the woman on the other end asked if I was having a party, hahahaha)... somewhere in here we eat and clean up, do homework (this is Dad's job, phew), pack lunches for the next day, set out clothes for tomorrow (let me tell you how much headache this brainwave has saved me each morning!)
6:30 - bath time assembly line - sorry, no time to play when there's 5 to get clean (and a new rule - no one baths together - thanks to too many flooding incidents, lol)
...also, this is the time that we will be leaving and having a sitter arrive if we've got grown-up evening stuff going on; usually a couple nights a week (Mon, either women's Bible study for me, or right now 'Love and Respect' course for us; Wed, senior high youth for Pat; assorted women's ministry meetings for me; date nights; VERY occasionally a fun night out with friends for either or both of us - let's see, we went to Pat's work Christmas party together on Dec. 15; oh, I went hot tubbing at my BFF Christine's house about 2 weeks ago; wow, Pat really deserves a night out! Ohmygoodness, I can't believe I forgot this - we got to go to Riverdance on Feb. 16!!! Yah, Pat really really deserves a night out.)...

8pm - bedtime, phew! Prayers and songs all around, followed by Mommy collapsing on the couch (well, for a few minutes until one little mess or another catches her attention).
10:30ish - Mommy's bedtime (oh, yeah, Daddy's too, lol).

When I write it all out like this it makes me feel a little breathless! But it's actually not that bad. There are times where it is sooooo loud, times when the sqwabbling gets to be too much, but overall it's just routine. Watching my friends with older kids...now they've got BUSY! Extra-curricular stuff, family stuff, major homework, oh boy!

So, what's your day look like? How many times per day can you be found at the computer? Do you try to grab some 'God time' each day (and when, and how many days are you successful)? Do you feel busy? Too busy?

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Driving along one day, Meg (4) asked why the snow on the road looks dirty. Thinking I should jump on this learning opportunity, I delve into an explanation of road gravel, traction, and so on... In spite of Meg's less than enthusiastic participation, I quietly hope that she's grasping the concept. Later, to test her comprehension, I ask if she remembers the big word we talked about earlier. With a slightly irritated look on her face, Meg demands, "Why are you trying to teach me?!" LOL! This, people, is why God has not called me to home school.

Abbey (6) to her dad, "Dad, William - not William in my class, but William on the bus, you know...the one who's in grade 2, he's 7-years-old -" (deep breath) "he said he has a crush on me." Dad asks, "Do you know what that means?" "No" (giggling). Dad, "Well, what did you say to him?" Abbey, "I laughed." How straightforward...

Braeden (9) to dad, "Dad - you took Mom for a date? Where'd you go?" Dad, "Sure did buddy. We went to see Riverdance." "Aw Dad, that's so cute! I'm proud of you!" Really, how does a 9-year-old know that watching people dance around for 2 hours is less than fantastic to most men?!

To see what other little ones are saying, check out Mary's blog.

Minimize-Your-Size Monday

I've linked up to a group of women who are working together to lose weight. Next week I'll be posting on 'Live Well Wednesday.' (So much for my great title - thanks for the idea & feedback, Lucille.)

And so you know, Pat and I have renewed our focus. We have a goal! We're going to Reno in June to spend some time with his brother and family, and we'd be far too embarassed to show up as fat slobs. So, 17 weeks to lose 20 pounds (for me)...I'll keep Pat's secret safe ;).

In fact, I'd like to put a counter on my site - anyone have any good countdown widgets to suggest? I keep finding pregnancy ones, and I DEFINITELY do not want one of those, LOL!

Okay, down to the nitty gritty. Same as last week. At least I didn't gain again. Phew. But it would really be nice to be a loser again, heehee.

Is there anyone else out there trying to lose weight that can be my support group?!

Suffering...

Have you ever wondered about pain and suffering in this world? You know, why do bad things happen to good people? Angela has posted some interesting thoughts on this, and is even doing a weekly series over at her ministry page. I strongly reccommend checking it out!
Blessings, friends!

Riverdance Battle

THIS...is what we were doing last night! (I took only one tiny video clip - can you believe I even dared to break the rules!?) This youtube video gives the experience much better justice, though. Thankfully, our experience was sans the Japanese/Chinese subtitles.



What a totally awesome experience!!!!!

Here's a fun Valentine's idea!

Some very fun people and other very funny people have decided to start a little bloggy linky thing and post their 'how we met' stories! (You can join in the fun, too - just follow the links.) Never one to be left out, I decided to share our story...

Apparently Pat knew me before I knew him, if you know what I mean. I had dated the occasional fella in high school, and maybe one or two of those were friends of Pat's. So, it would seem we crossed paths at a number of parties (these, of course, occurred during my 'lost' days - you know, before I was 'found').

I do recall a school dance where I had a bit of a crush going for Pat, and we danced together a bit, but then he asked me to introduce him to my friend Claire - the one with the big...hair. ;) Not one to be discouraged easily, or alone long (after all, on the eve of this dance I had been without a steady boyfriend for practically forever!), I decided that I would date Pat's friend Jeff - for a while, anyway. After all, there was no sense in waiting around and being lonely!

In 12th grade, my decision-making abilities temporarily flounderd, resulting in me needing to find somewhere to live. Recalling that Pat (who had by this time become a really good 'buddy' of mine) had previously housed friends, I called him up. His dad graciously agreed to rent out one of their extra bedrooms to me...I moved in and got to work (on the tub, the stove, the floors). Thus commenced my career of cleaning up after Pat! During my months residing at Chateau Rowan, my 'crush' bloomed to 'love.' As always, it seemed, my timing was off - Pat had a girlfriend, a steady girlfriend, one he'd been with for over a year. Unable to bear the heartache, I ventured off on my own (well, with a roommate).

Several months later, during another evening of poor decision-making and high alcohol content, I encountered my heart's desire. Under the pulsating of the disco lights, he proclaimed his love for me, promising to find and marry me very soon! Sigh, how romantic...

After a few days with no phone call, I again decided to move on. It wasn't until several months later that I received that much anticipated phone call, "hey Tyler. Wanna come over? I'm havin' a party." Again, I sighed. It must have been nearly midnight before Pat confessed that he was dating someone, but as I grabbed my purse and coat and opened his apartment door he quickly dialed her on the phone and broke up with her on the spot. What a charmer! This was May 5, 1997.

Much to our parents' disappointment, we soon found ourselves expecting a baby. Pat 'proposed' on Valentine's Day of 1998 - I say 'proposed' because I'm not entirely sure putting a ring down on the bed, hollering at the proposee to go make said bed, then coming up behind her and asking, "so, will ya?" is truly a proposal, lol. Especially when he was informed that under no uncertain terms was said proposee to have a diamond ring on her finger BEFORE said baby arrived! Braeden Thomas was born on March 16, 1998 - the day before St. Patrick's Day (which was too bad for Pat, because I know he had hoped to enjoy some green beverages with friends). After a long engagement (my choice, I really wanted to lose all the baby weight), we walked down the aisle and made it legal on July 3, 1999.

There were some tough years, as we each took our turns outgrowing the party phase. No surprise, but it took him a bit longer than it took me, lol. But even through those times, I knew there was no one else in the world who was just right for me. Only Pat. And much to my great joy, he is really learning how to be romantic (check out my Valentine's email from today):

You are the greatest wife, friend, lover and teammate anyone could ask for. You make me want to be a better person everyday.
Thank you for bring me to Jesus. You sacrificed so much to do that for me. I will never be able to completely thank you for that.
I love how great you are with the kids. I love how safe they are with you. I love that you will be there for them when they cry and need a hug. I love that you pour out your love to our kids unconditionally.
I love that you care so much for your friends. I love that you bring your friends and everyone around you closer to God. I love that people look to you for guidence with their walk with God. I love that you sacrifice your own time to give them everything they need.
I love that you love God with all your heart.
I love that you love (respect) me. I love that you love so much.
But most of all I LOVE YOU.

Aw, golly. I am one blessed girl!

Valentine's Day?

So, tomorrow is the special day, where we all pour out our sappiness on those we love. To be honest, I've never been one to care much about Valentine's. I'm not sure Pat and I have ever gotten one another cards or done anything special for this day. I do like to do a little something for the kids - like little treats and a note in their lunch box, but that's about it. And making all those tiny little Valentine's cards for them to hand out at school is the bane of my existence! I absolutely HATE doing that task!!! Maybe I have issues in the romance department?

I'm just curious, does anyone really 'celebrate' Valentine's Day with their sweetheart or their kids? What's your favorite thing to do? Does anyone ever do something to make you feel extra special? What would you LIKE for someone to do?

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Megan, 4 - "That cake is soooooo stylish!" and later, about the very stylish cake ('Bratz' themed, thank-you Safeway) "Mmmmmmm, it's delicious!" (We were celebrating Abbey's birthday last week...)

Shea, 2 - (admiring Ashley Tisdale in a music video) "I lub that gul. Pwetty." - translation: I love that girl, pretty.

I know everyone had something cute, funny, or precious to say this week...unfortunately, I forgot to document it!



Want to see what other little ones are saying?
Visit Mary's page for the TTT carnival.

Yup, it's Monday

Mondays are bitter-sweet. End of the weekend - sad b/c Pat heads back to work, happy b/c Braeden heads back to school. Mostly a home day (no school or activites for the girls, mom, or babes) - happy b/c we can laze around in jammies all day, sad b/c the girls often end up fighting and spending much of the day being disciplined. And then, it's also weigh-in day - happy to see the results of a week of hard work, OR sad to see the result of a week of not caring.

You guessed it, another bad week. But my commitmtent is totally renewed and I'm starting with some serious focus today! Pat and I were browsing photo albums yesterday, and to my delight there was a picture of me at each kids' first birthday - and in each of those pictures I looked, well, not terribly fat (LOL). My faith in myself and my ability to do this is renewed - come on, I've done it 4 times! And it is even a wee bit exciting to think that I will never have to fight for such a BIG weight loss ever again!

To my shame, I will post my results from this morning's weigh-in...
weight: 159.8lbs (that's up 3 from last week; overall down 1.2)
body fat:31%

Can I just say - seriously?! How is it possible to gain 6 pounds in 2 weeks? That is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard of! I can't possibly be THAT glutonous! Do you think maybe it has to do with the weaning? Even if it doesn't, let's just go with that, okay. I was using 1500 calories a day to feed that baby (even though it was apparently not enough for him), so now that I haven't been using it I gained. Just gotta readjust my eating, big time! And I really better get exercising again, 'cause shoot my back has been hurting.

Hopefully by next week someone creative will have suggested a fun name for my Monday weight loss series!!!??? SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!

Growing Pains

My baby is growing up too fast! When you know (well, are pretty sure) you've had your last baby FOREVER, the mommy clingy factor seems to go up a bit. Christine is giggling at this, I'm sure...

My plan for this last child, sweet baby Kai, was to breastfeed till at least 6 months. It seems, no matter my intentions, my other 4 babies were 'off the boob' (yes, I'm sometimes known for my less-than PC vernacular) somewhere between 4-6 months. Various life circumstances would inevitably create a situation where switching to the bottle was the best option for the family. I never really had a problem with this, until now. Now, with the deep-seated knowledge that I will never hold another baby to my breast, I am mourning the loss.

If you've been around my home for the past (almost) 5 months, you may have noticed that our 2nd born boy child, 5th born overall child is the fussiest baby on the planet um, not entirely content. A million people suggested that I try giving him more bottles (Christine, Pat, mom), but I was adamant, "he doesn't need more to eat! My body is made to feed him, and I know he's being well fed. For goodness sake, the child is over 16 pounds!"

Pat, love of my life, father extraordinaire, had had enough crying to last him 2 lifetimes - so he insisted I must try this bottle thing. So I would nurse, burp, rotate infant to other side, nurse, burp...satisfied that he was satisfied, I'd put him in one of his many large and brightly-colored contraptions for some play time. Cry, cry, cry. So I'd warm up a 4 oz bottle, just knowing that he wasn't really hungry. A few seconds later, once he finished gulping those 4 ozs back and had burped, and was still looking for more, I heated up another 4 oz bottle. This pattern continued for 3 days until I finally conceded - for reasons completely foreign to me, my body was not creating sufficient nutrition for this chubby little guy. Shoot!

By day 2 of the 'breast-breast-bottle-bottle' ordeal, a new Malakai had emerged. Content to play, full of smiles, shrieks, and giggles, mellow...ah, the peace! As I'm sure you are wondering - how long does a feeding take with this ordeal? Well, folks, too darn long! So we've mostly moved on to the bottle - which is filled to 6 oz every time, almost always drained and more added to finish out the feeding. He's happier, Pat's happier, the siblings are even happier, and in many ways I am too. But I am also just so sad... Never again. It's like the end of an era (lol, okay - that may be a bit on the ridiculous dramatic side)! Sigh.



Note the contented little smile...and the double-chin, thigh-to-ankle rolls, wrist fat...LOL!

Just because...

...I haven't posted anything since Tuesday. (Sorry, busy week!)






















(Oh dear, I had no idea how messy my living room/office looks! Time to re-organize.)

Thin is IN???

Nah, it's not. Chubby is really more flattering, isn't it? No one wants to wrap their arms around a skinny little stick, anyway. It's good to have a little meat to grab onto...

Two days of birthday cake for Abbey, plus my birthday the week before, plus a few glasses of wine Friday night - add it all up and it spells DISASTER!

Is it wrong of me to just cancel this whole 'blog my weight loss' idea? I could just post an 'after' picture when I finally get there, right?

No - I can't do it! A little shame might do me good - motivate me to work a bit harder (and I'll need to especially now...did I mention that Kai has decided bottles are far more filling and satisfying...which means I am now down to like 21 points per day...and, it seems that one of my challenge buddies has crapped out...and we're moving into birthday season for ALL my kids? Poor me!)

Okay, here goes:
weight - 156.8 lbs (up 3.6 from last week, gasp!); down a total of 4.2 in 3 weeks
30% body fat (up 1% from last week, double gasp!); but still down 1% overall.

Okay, I have been sufficiently shamed. Next week will be better!!! (BTW, I've decided to move this topic over to Mondays since that's my weigh-in day and b/c I am going to be joining in a fun new Tuesday topic...next week. Any suggestions for a fun Monday name - that rhymes or has alliteration or some such thing???)

Growing Roots

I like to think that I have a fairly strong faith. That when life tries to get me down I'll turn to God for strength. That my belief in Christ is so deeply planted in my spirit that it will not fade away during difficult times. But thinking is one thing - I'd like to be sure!

This morning, I read the parable of the sower (luke 8:4-15):
While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."
When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'
This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."

How do I KNOW if the seeds of God's Word were planted in good soil? Better yet, how can I prevent them from simply 'falling on rocks' or 'growing among thorns?' Is there something I can do to help my faith take root?

I've seen people go either way - for some, life goes crazy and they grow deeper into their relationship with the Lord; for others, they begin to question what they've believed and doubt who God is. So what's the difference? And what can I do to solidify my faith, so that when tough times come (which they will - James 1:2 says WHENEVER you have troubles, not IF you have troubles), my faith won't fall away or get choked up?

I've got some ideas, but what I'm really looking for here is COMMENTS! What do you think can be done to grow a deep faith with strong roots?

6 long years ago...

February 1, 2002... After a super-fast induced labour, and a whirlwind delivery made by the nurse (because the doctor arrived 6 minutes later), we had the joy of welcoming our first baby girl! Weighing in at 8lbs 9ozs, and 21" long (I think?), the nurses frantically tried to disentangle the umbilical cord from around little miss Abbey's neck - oh wait, it was only a big fat roll! LOL!Happy 6th birthday, Abbey Dawn!
(On a side note, I forgot to post this yesterday b/c her party was today...)

Too Busy? (*edited)

Ever feel like you're simply too busy? Too much to do, not nearly enough time. Clean the house, cook the meals, help with homework, spend time with hubby, have coffee with friends, drive from here to there 40 times a week, take kids to soccer/ballet/art class, do ministry work, do service projects, go to Church, Bible study, life group...

It's weird, but I often go from one extreme to the other. One day I'm so busy I can't even think straight, the next day I'm bored out of my mind (not usually for lack of something to do so much as lack of motivation to do anything). When I'm sitting at either end of the spectrum one thing is consistent - I find excuses to skip out on my time with God. Too tired, too busy, I deserve a rest, taking the day off, other very important Godly things to take care of...

The funny thing is, any time I skip out, my whole day suffers. I feel either rushed or completely lacking in 'get up and go;' I am either frantic or frustrated; I feel angry, sad, cranky, lonely, irritated - all at the same time! I want to be left alone, but hate feeling isolated.

God has called me to spend time with Him each morning. (Morning might not be everyone's time, but I do know that He wants time from each of us, whether morning, evening, mid-day.) It seems counter-intuitive, but the days where I'm up at 6:00 or 6:30am are my best days. Even if I was up with a baby 14 times that night. Even if I have 6 million things to do, plus errands to run, plus misbehaving children. Although, I've even noticed that the kids' behavior is better on these days (or maybe it's just the mom's disposition).

* Here's a quote I read today that spoke to my heart:
It's so easy to be caught up with the busy things of life that we overlook tending our inner lives. Then we often find chaos in our heart and mind and wonder why God seems distant. During those times we will most likely find our Bible starting to gather dust. God's Word is nourishment for our souls. ~ Gail Rogers

It's crazy! I would never risk not eating the food my body needs for survival (and enjoyment, lol). I don't risk driving without my seatbelt (and my cell phone in case of emergency). I can't imagine hopping on a motorcycle without a helmet (okay, if you know me I know you're thinking, "come on, Tyler, you would never get on a motorcycle to begin with!" true). So why do I take risks with the very ESSENCE of my life?! Nothing is good without Christ at the heart of it. My best intentions at life - parenting, housekeeping, ministry - none of it is worth anything if I've done it on my own. My very soul cries out against it!

"Keep God's Word at the very core of your life. As a Christian you simply cannot risk living otherwise." ~ Gail Rogers

* In reading my daily devotions, I made the mistake of crediting a really good quote to the wrong author! The "verse" I had listed was, in fact, not scripture at all, but a fantastic quote. (Ooops.)

Thin is IN! Tuesday

It was not a great week. My biggest exercise was sledding on Sat (which I calculated to only be worth 3 points of extra food - darn)...didn't get to the gym at all. Ate birthday cake twice, and went out to dinner and a movie once. Actually, I'm surprised I lost anything at all!

So, here's this week's stats:
weight: 153.2lbs (down 1.2 from last week, down 7.8 total)
body fat: 29% (down 1 from last week, 2 total)

I will be super happy when I can comfortably fit more than just this one pair of jeans that I've been washing 4x/week for the past few months! (Soon...I wore them last week once, but they were a bit snug...made quite the muffin top effect, lol.)

Oh, and here's my greatest fear... Malakai is hungry! So hungry that I can nurse him (both sides) and he'll still drink a 4-6 oz bottle. Which indicates that, in spite of my diligent efforts, I am simply not producing enough milk. And I know that if I am supplementing regularly (like several bottles per day) it will become irritating to both breastfeed and bottle feed. AND DID YOU KNOW I GET TO CONSUME 10 EXTRA POINTS PER DAY WHEN I'M BREASTFEEDING!? I cannot imagine surviving on only 20 points a day - right now I'm at about 30 and some days I'm starving! (Guess I'll really have to kick up the efforts at the gym.)

The Interesting thing about Men...

Recently, my husband suggested to me that we pick up a marriage book and work through it together... As most women would, I responded with glee! My husband cares enough to work on improving our marriage, sigh, happy face. Now, imagine for a moment that I was the one making the suggestion - the more likely response from him would be: a) ignore the suggestion; b) reject the suggestion; c) ignore the suggesion; d) take offence at the implication that he is a less-than-perfect mate; or e) all of the above! (On a side note, this is not a commentary on my darling husband in particular, but more a general observation about the differences between men and women.)

Incidentally, the book we intended to study is available in DVD format, and being offered by the marriage ministry in our Church - being the kind of folks that we are (that is, just slightly this side of completely lacking in motivation, lol), we went for the easy route. Tonight marks week 2...

The author/speaker, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, has quite the humorous take on how the genders view things differently. Take, for example, the statement "I have nothing to wear." What does this mean? When I say it, it probably means I have nothing NEW to wear, or possibly I have nothing THAT FITS to wear. Heard from Pat, on the other hand, it likely means I have nothing CLEAN to wear. LOL!

Now, indulge me for a moment as I ponder the title of the book... "Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs." Huh? I get the love part - we all need love, right?! It's up there next to food and water on the hierarchy. But respect? Seriously? Shouldn't respect be EARNED??? According to Eggerichs, no! Unconditional love for the woman (that is, love that is not contingent upon actions and performance, but simply for being) is equivalent to unconditional respect for the man (that is, respect and honour for who he is and what he does, even at those times we feel his performance is lacking). I must say, this concept is almost beyond my ability to grasp!

An example? I recently picked up a picture of little Kai for our wall of fame (Pat's actually quite good at photography, and we posed the baby all nicely). Unfortunately, the picture was slightly off-centre. Pat comments on this flaw (I wonder if he's hinting that it's somehow my fault...) and my reply is this, "yeah, I noticed those pictures you took for my blog are a bit off-centre, too," with a chuckle. And we move on to living life with 5 kids...

A couple hours later, Pat enlightens me - somehow, in my casual observation, he has interpreted a slight to his ability. What he heard - "you are terrible at taking pictures...you are a failure...you should never take pictures again." Again I say, HUH? My comment (or perhaps a better word is criticism) made him feel disrespected. Until that moment, I had interpreted the word 'respect' to mean ("you are a good person who does good things") - nope! Respect really means "you are capable, you are able, you do a good job." Ah-hah! No wonder my husband figured we needed a marriage book... (On another note, I have realized this to mean that every time I comment on, or God-forbid correct the way he parents, I am disrespecting him. Which is essentially the same as if he were not loving or appreciating me - for example not answering with a resounding "NO!" when I ask if something makes me look fat.) Shoot. I've got a lot of work to do!

Thin Is IN! Tuesday

Over the years of many pregnancies, I have tried my hand at several weight-loss regimes. To be honest, I can't even say which is most effective - because I ALWAYS end up pregnant within a couple months of reaching my goal weight! LOL! But this time, I expect to be reaching my final goal weight (that is, as long as the test results come back as "0 mobility/motility;" if they don't, Pat figures that's God's way of telling us to go for building ourselves a whole football team, ha!).

Here's a little background for ya...
110 lbs - age 18, 1996
118 lbs - age 19, 1997 (never lost the weight following a miscarried pregnancy)
174 lbs - age 20, March 1998 (day before Braeden's birth)
*140 lbs (approx) - age 21, July 1999 (our wedding)
172 lbs - age 24, February 2002 (day before Abbey's birth)
**132 lbs - age 24, April 2002 (6-8 weeks after Abbey's birth)
181 lbs - age 25, April 2003 (day before Meg's birth)
***138 lbs - age 26, summer 2004
182 lbs - age 27, April 2005 (day before Shea's birth)
****140 lbs - age 28, December 2006 (wore a bikini in the Dominican)
189 lbs - age 29, September 2007 (day before Kai's birth)

* just basically dieted, reduced calories
** worked out hard at the gym 3-4 days/week (for a few months, lol)
*** joined a group ran by a woman in our Church, based on healthy lifestyle habits
**** weight watchers, gym occasionally (like 1-2 times per week)

Starting Stats (Jan 7, 2008):
5'6" tall
161.0 lbs
31 % body fat (this means 50 lbs are FAT, gross!)
BMI score of 25.7, "overwieght"
goal weight = 140 (or less)
total to lose = 21 (or more)
Method: weight watchers and regular gym attendance (2-3x/wk)

Jan 14, 2008:
157.8 lbs (3.2-)
31% body fat
lost 15% of goal

And this week!!! (Jan 21, 2008):
154.4 lbs (3.4-, total 6.6-)
30% body fat
lost 31% of goal to date

So, here goes the weight-loss journey! There's a scary kind of accountability to keep losing and not be a pig with all of you watching - ugh! I'll keep you posted each Tuesday, and maybe periodically throw in a pic - but not every week...I want the difference to be noticable!

BTW, my hubby Pat and my friend Louise are joining me in this weight watchers challenge, and they're doing great (though I'm not at liberty to discuss their actual progress - everyone is losing ;)). We were planning on making it a bit of a contest, so if you have any suggestions of a prize for the winner, please comment!!!

Got Fat?

FYI - weigh-in day is Monday, but whatever. ;)

Out of Control

self'-control', n. restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.

also known as... self-discipline, self-possesion, restraint, poise, composure, reserve (see resolution)...determination, will, decision, strength of mind, resolve, master over self, moral couirage, tenacity, doggedness

also referred to as... "denying one's flesh" (the flesh, or the human nature and its desires are often driving human choices...Scripture says to deny the flesh - or refuse to give in to our human desires - and instead seek God's will)

I have been on a binge! A binge of selfishness and greed. I have been out of control!

While pregnant with this last beautiful child (Malakai), I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. The result - a weight gain of 49 pounds (not something a woman nearing 30 can afford to do to her body).

I spent the last year (or many years, really) of my life spending money on what I wanted when I wanted it. The result - every single bill behind (some unpaid for 3 months), creditor phone calls, NSF cheques and the accompanying fees.

While I know I should be up each morning reading my Bible, praying, and connecting with my Lord, I hit the snooze button more days than not. I'd rather sleep. When my kids ask me to play games, colour, read, or just hang out, I say "not right now" more often than not. I'd rather clean (or cook, or do the banking, or be on the phone, or be on the computer...). If someone is misbehaving and I should go conduct some discipline, yelling from where I'm currently seated/standing/working seems to the modus operanus. The list could go on, and on, and on.

I have no self-control, no discipline, no will. (Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a [woman] who lacks self-control.)

We live in a culture that tells us we can all have whatever we want whenever we want it, and without having to work for it...we deserve it...why wait, when we can have it now...we can have MILLIONS of dollars working only hours a week...we can have a Cindy Crawford body only exercising 10-minutes a day..."I'm worth it!"

God's world can be so counter-intuitive! He wants me to deny my desire to be lazy (and hit snooze, or yell)...He wants me to deny my desire to shop more and pay bills less...He wants me to deny my desire to stuff my face with all the yummy and unhealthy things I crave. Why?

Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God.

Ah-hah! I am supposed to learn self-control in my life so that other women can learn from me (from my mistakes and my successes). I am supposed to learn self-control in my life so that no one will think badly of God or His Word (and my selfish and greedy nature will not cause anyone to reject the Gospel of Christ). (LOL, not that I consider my almost-30 self an 'older woman,' but that I have more years of Spiritual growth under my belt, if you know what I mean.)

This year, I am committed to getting things back under control. Not through my own strength, not by my own will - but with the help of the Only One who can truly teach me to deny my flesh. I believe that if we are obedient in the small things, obedience in the bigger things just naturally occurs. So by practicing on my small issues (eating, spending) I believe it will be easier to work out my big issues (time in the Word, yelling).

Here are the steps I've taken so far: I'm on Weight Watchers and have a membership at the gym (maybe I'll start doing a "Makeover Monday" series so you can track my progress along with me, what do you think?). AND, my beautiful friend Christine spent HOURS with me figuring out a budget that works (and most importantly gets the bills paid and kept up-to-date)...

Here's what God has been doing to help me with the other issues: I have been virtually unable to sleep past 5am for 2 weeks (it's not the most pleasant wake-up call, as my back pain has been terrible, but the agony typically eases by about 9am) - what else does one do at 5am besides drink coffee and read the Bible?! AND, I have been really noticing how the children yell at one another and at us (Pat and I)...when I hear it I can hear my own tone of voice and words echoing back at me (yikes!).

My hope and prayer is this: may I submit myself to the will of God for my life (rather than the selfish desires of my human nature and what the world tells me I should focus on), and through this "denying of my flesh" may other women think good things about God, and may my children see and love the Jesus that lives in my heart...

Ten Guidelines from God

Effective Immediately, please be aware that there are changes
YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to
grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life.

I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing,
this seems very little to ask of you.
Please, follow these 10 guidelines:

1. QUIT WORRYING: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry.
Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens
and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over
every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST: Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list.
No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be
the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until
you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long,
I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put
into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known,
I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME: Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take
them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your
problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them
on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake,
put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE: Don't wake up one morning and say, 'Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here.' Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME: I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH: I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE: You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven'theard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten howto cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT: I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences.You grew from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to do list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the universe in only six days, everyone thinksI should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND: Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical.

10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only: to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart achewhen I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget it!

~Anonymous

Sorry, I'm bad at this

I really intend to blog daily, or at least every other day. And I start one almost every day. BUT, I get 2 sentences into it and get interrupted, "mom, I need juice...mom, I want a snack...mooooom, the movie won't work...MOM, WIPE MY BUM!" and I totally lose my train of thought. I'll start sitting down in the evening once everyone's in bed - maybe I'll complete an entire post in one sitting. (Hey, when did my kids stop calling me Mommy?! That's the saddest little realization...)

So here's my little food for thought today (borrowed from Alicia Britt Chole):

The thunder sounded in the distance as my dad and I exchanged smiles. Hearing the summons, we both rose and took our places on the deck. Side by side we sat in silence relishing the first movements of nature's symphony.

The wind carried to us the sweet promise of rain. The lightening danced to a rhythm it alone could hear. The clouds rolled like an ocean over our heads.

While the storm proclaimed nature's untamed beauty, I sat in perfect peace in daddy's arms and tears of contentment collected in my eyes.

From the beginning, Dad was determined that his child would not inherit fear. "There is nothing to fear, " he would say as he scooped me up and carried me out to our chair. Over the decades, I grew to savor storms - they were an invitation to rest with my daddy.

Dad's arms can no longer hold me - I am reminded of that reality every time I hear a distant thunder. But Another still sits near me when the winds beat against my life.

Life's storms are rather impolite. They neither consider our calendars nor consult our hearts. Without requesting permission they simply come.

But each time they come, our Father God smiles and whispers, "There is nothing to fear."

As the earth shakes and our dreams crumble, God extends to us His strong arms. As the wind howls and our faith trembles, God offers to hide us in Himself.

Life's storms issue to us an invitation to rest with Father God. Nestled securely in His eternal embrace, even the most furious storm can not crush our fragile hearts.

Priorities

"The person who's calls you answer every time, that's the one you're in a relationship with." This is roughly quoted from a movie Pat and I watched last night. It's a striking truth. The people we spend our time talking to and hanging out with, the activities we engage in most often, these are like a mirror, reflecting our life's priorities.

If asked (well, I'll tell you even if you don't ask, lol), my list of what's important to me goes something like this: God, marriage, family, friends, ministry, fun, money. But if I asked someone else, based solely on their observations of how I spend my time (let's say they can see everything), they might suggest my priorities are: driving around, talking on the phone, working on the computer, reading novels, running interference for the kids, ministry, shopping, cleaning, cooking, yelling (hard to know where to place that one on the list), budgeting, coffee with friends, prayer/Bible reading, husband, TV (this one has only been bumped down on the list recently, since we abolished TV from the main living room), health/fitness...

Hmmmm.

Stained Glass Masquerade

I heard this song a couple years ago, and it touched a deep and aching place in my soul....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYAEc8A0kk8&feature=related

(If anyone can tell me how I could have posted this video directly in my blog, instead of just a link, please share your techno-wisdom!)

What a Day

I am so glad this day is over. Phew! I'm exhausted, I have a headache, my throat hurts, and I'm super cranky. The kids were wacked out today, and mom wasn't much better. The reason for the headache and sore throat - waaaaay too much yelling.

I have a confession to make...I am a yeller. It's a problem for me. In many cases I am practically incapable of preventing myself from bellering, especially with the kids. Partly, I'm sure, because the volume level is such that we all need to be loud to be heard. Mostly, though, because I lose control - I lose control of my children and I lose control of myself.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that about 50% of my prayers involve my problem with yelling - confessing, asking forgiveness, repenting, and especially begging for God to change me. My 'theme' verse these days is Galatians 5:22-23, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. God has given me these 5 children to LOVE and to teach about His love...He wants me to embark on the journey of being a mommy with JOY...The Lord has given me the responsibility for setting the emotional tone of our home and maintaining PEACE...PATIENCE is one of the many virtues the Father wants me to develop...What I show my children about KINDNESS will be what they understand about the Lord's kindness...God has called me to be FAITHFUL in all things, little (like money) and large (like parenting) - faithful to His standard...Just as His voice and hands are GENTLE with me when I mess up, so should I be with my babies...God can't change me unless I choose to exercise some SELF-CONTROL.

I hate to make grandiose commitments to drastically change things, because when I screw up (which will inevitably happen) I feel so discouraged. But it really is the time for big changes! I am going to start tonight by posting the fruits of the Spirit throughout my home, to remind me of who I want to be - who I'm called to be. If my children learn about God through my actions, they are currently learning that God has no patience and a very loud, angry voice. That is simply not true! God is so loving and gentle, so patient and kind - trust me, I know this because of how many times I've messed up and how He just forgives me each time... Now is the time for change!