The Job/Ministry

...continued from yesterday's post, The Email...

I do apologize for leaving you hanging two days in a row like that (not, heehee). I will now fulfill your curiosity about the details. Unless you're not curious, in which case you may not want to read this post. But don't do that! Just read it anyway, okay? I'll return the favor. {grin}

The Ministry:

Break Forth Canada - A large (15,000 attendees) annual conference for the growth and encouragement of Christians across the country, hosted in Alberta's capital city, Edmonton. The place is teeming with top-notch speakers and worship artists, ready to share what God has put on their hearts.

I have had the privilege of attending Break Forth three (or is it four?) years in a row. Each year I showed up expecting God to speak to me personally, to change my heart, and to move in my life. I have not been disappointed.

So when I saw the position posted on their Facebook page, I could not resist the thought of being a part of something that has played such a significant role in my walk with the Lord.

The Job:

Facility and Exhibit Coordinator - The conference offers over 150 workshops, each requiring space, equipment, and volunteers. Those workshops are taught by various speakers, teachers, and musicians who will have specific needs, from accommodations to the room set-up. That's the "facility" part of the job. The conference also hosts a large 'trade fair' style exhibitors centre, where roughly 100 ministries can set up a table and share what they do. The exhibit hall also requires space, equipment, and volunteers. That's the "exhibit" part of the job.

Thankfully, this position was held by the same highly organized person for the past six years, so there will be a clear template for me to follow. And from what I hear, she also really loved lists!

The Hours:

The position is, overall, part-time. The number of hours per day and the number of days per week vary month-by-month, depending on how close we're approaching to Break Forth. The month of the conference (January) will be full-time. But the summer months - two, five-hour days per week. Pretty ideal for a mom.

The Childcare:

The more I talk to God about having my "baby" in care, the more calm I am about the whole idea. With the exception of January, it won't be full-time, so I will still have my time with him and he with me. And frankly, he is a wee bit clingy (understatement of the year); he could benefit from some time away from his Mama.

The Start Date:

I'll be going in next week for a few afternoons, just to get the lay of the land. I'll spend a few hours reading manuals and being shown around. My first "official" day will be September 6.

The Peace:

You might wonder, how do I know that now is the time (as opposed to years earlier or later)?

I don't know. But I trust God and His plan completely.

I have a sense of confirmation about how this door opened so easily when many other doors slammed in my face. I have a sense of confirmation about how the little details seem to be working out with ease. I have a sense of confirmation through my communications with the ministry founders and leaders, as I know that they are seeking God fervently and constantly.

But if I'm wrong, I still trust God and His plan completely.

I trust that God will work in my life, my family, and the ministry of Break Forth. I trust that He can take things that are wrong, misdirected, or even bad and use them for good. I trust that His desire is for all of His children to grow more like Him, and He can use all situations for our growth. And I trust that His plan is for our hope and future, not for our harm.

The Ministry:

And what of the ministry I've felt called to? The writing and speaking stuff?

I don't have a sense that any of that has changed. But in case you hadn't noticed {tongue in cheek}, the growth and progress of those areas has been glacial fairly slow.

While I could invest hundreds of hours into efforts to grow things, I truly believe that my ministry cannot grow any faster than God's pace. And He's taking it slow with me.

Perhaps because I have more to learn. Perhaps my family needs more time. Perhaps He has a certain time in mind that just hasn't come to pass yet. Perhaps because time spent serving is the most fertile garden for growing a Godly leader.

So for now, I will serve. I will wait. I will write. I will speak. And I will grow.


----------------------------------------------------------
Tomorrow, fun and random summer vacation pictures.

The Email

...continued from yesterday's post, The Interview...

On day twelve of our holidays, we were back in an area with phone reception. As others worked hard tearing down camp so we could hit the road, I snuck in a quick email check.

I immediately noticed an email in the middle of the pack with the subject line, "Welcome." My heart rate picked up as I scrolled down to open it. I read the email over twice, looked out the camper door and said, "They offered me the job."

I was stunned. Terrified. Thrilled.

They were awaiting a reply from me to confirm my acceptance of the position. But could I really do this?

An hour later we were on the road and I shared my runaway thoughts with my husband.

What if it's too much? What if I can't manage working and home and kids? What if I can't keep on top of writing or get speaking engagements? What if I can't find childcare? And do I really want my littlest one to spend half his days with a sitter? And all those other things I'm involved with - which to keep, which to give up? When will I have time for friendships? What if I can't do it? I'm so used to being in charge, what if I stink at being an employee and taking direction? And it's a lot of responsibility - what if I screw it up?

All those questions poured from my mouth in one breath. Instead of addressing my worries, Pat suggested, "Why don't we pray about it?"

I nodded. Then we sat in awkward silence for a good minute. He looked at me and said, "Oh, did you want me to pray?!" We cracked up (great tension relief) and then, with his eyes still fixed on the highway, my husband committed the situation, our family, and me to God.

Questions, worries, and fears drifted away as peace slipped over my soul.

I replied to that email, thanking them for the opportunity...

...And letting them know that I couldn't wait for my first day!

...more to come...

The Interview

I sat in my truck just around the corner, air conditioner turned to high, and prayed.

I had arrived nearly half an hour early for a job interview. I didn't know why I was there.

Over the years, I had applied for many jobs. Nothing. Several dozen resumes sent out with only one interview four years back. Mostly, I received no reply to my applications. I took that lack of response as guidance from God - a door being closed. Yet I continued to apply as I saw positions that interested me.

Sometimes I wondered if I was being disobedient by continuing to send out resumes every few months. But I didn't get that sense. And to be honest, with each resume emailed I was certain that I'd receive the same reply I'd been getting for years - a closed door.

So I sat outside that office building and prayed...

Lord, am I wasting their time by showing up for this interview? You have kept this door firmly closed for so long, and I've been okay with that. I've been needed at home, and there's the writing and speaking ministry...

Father, I don't think I can do this. What if they offer me the job? I'll need to figure out some part time childcare; I don't think my clingy little boy can handle that. I'll have to find time to still write and speak and take care of the house.

I don't know why I'm here, Lord. You've shut this door so many times. But for some reason, this door appears to be opening. I'm terrified at the thought of it. The changes, the adjustments, the expectations.

Please fill me with Your peace, help me to present myself and You well in this interview, and have Your will be done in my life and for this ministry.

The peace came just two breaths after I asked for it. My nerves calmed. My questions ceased. And I knew - it was in His hands.

I left the interview with a spring in my step. It was so comfortable. I felt so confident. And I believed even more in the importance of what the ministry does to draw people closer to Jesus.

I packed for vacation with a light heart. No worries, no anxiety, no waiting. I would be okay either way. No job offer - life would continue on as it had and that would be great. Job offer - things would change, and change is good for our growth.

Given the past history of applications and rejections, though, I secretly suspected that the job would be offered to someone else. I had settled in my heart that this was still my season to be at home full-time. I expected to return home to a voicemail message confirming my suspicions...

...to be continued...

Just a Mom, Q & A - installment 3 (the end)

I think we've milked about all we can out of this Just a Mom series, don't you? {grin}

Hey, before I tackle today's question I just want to send you back over to yesterday's post. There were a couple super questions posted in the comment that I attempted to answer (somewhat briefly) right in the comments section.

Frieda (that's my mom), asked this question...

I really liked Day 4 and 5 - and here's my question: How do you know when it's time to move on?

I have lead Bible study now for 5 or so years but it really was more because I took a leap and just did it, versus feeling called to it. I do think it was affirmed as a calling because God totally equipped and led me. However, over the last couple of years God has repeatedly called up others to lead (not necessarily to take over my areas of administration) but it does make me ask, "Is it time to move on? Is God equipping others?"

I don't have a sense that I'm being told to move...but it does make me wonder. So how do I know?

This is probably the toughest question to answer, because your calling (and your moving on) is so very personal between you and God.

Change is inevitable.

I don't think there are many of us who are called to a lifetime of service in one ministry area. Even folks who look like they've done one thing their whole lives (Billy Graham, for example) have seasons in their ministry. They may do the same thing (such as preaching), but feel called to reach out to different groups as time changes. Even those who know they've been called to be Pastors move on eventually, to the next church family that God calls them to.

Sometimes God closes a door.

Sometimes, God does dramatic things to move us from where we are in ministry to the next step. For example, when it was time for me to move on from women's ministry... I'll be honest, I had a sense that He was preparing me to let go for over a year. But I was arguing with Him. He knew I was attached and invested, so He need to do something big to move me (literally) onto the next thing.

Sometimes God opens a window.

Sometimes, God puts new opportunities in our paths to show us that He is calling us onward. He doesn't always clearly tell us, "Time to quit this. Let go. Move on." But you may find yourself noticing new possibilities; little things that grab your interest. It very well could be that God is giving you tiny, gentle nudges in a new direction.

Sometimes God leaves it up to you.

I also really believe that, for many of us, there is no "one thing." It's more like "anything." Take, for example, when someone has a job opportunity and they need to choose between two great jobs. He prays and prays, but doesn't get a clear sense of which job God wants him to take. Could be that God is telling him, "It doesn't matter which job you take, as long as you serve Me with your whole heart wherever you work."

Sometimes, you just "know."

There are times, though, when it's time to move on even though you don't really have any of the indicators. God isn't closing any doors, He's not opening any windows, and there are no options for you to choose from. There seems to be nothing new for you to do, but you have an unsettled spirit.

I have a friend who felt unsettled in her job. She felt that she was supposed to free herself up for other ministry opportunities. She bravely gave notice to her employer, not knowing what was next. There was nothing wrong at her work, and no new opportunities were in front of her, but she just knew.

I've been asked before, "How do you know when you're done having babies? How can you be sure that this is the last one?" When I answer those women, I always reply, "The fact that you're asking and not sure tells me that you're not done. Not yet." {and then I wink at her} But I also suggest to her that the way she's thinking could be indicative that her heart is being prepared to be done soon.

So I think... You're not done yet, because you're not sure and you haven't heard a clear directive from God to move on. But your heart is being prepared for that inevitability. And when it's time, you'll know.

Just a Mom, Q & A - installment 2

I received a question for the Just a Mom series via my Facebook page...

I agree with the things in this series......a lot of it has echoed what God has been teaching me.

Once you embrace being more than just a mom, how do you make sure you don't cross over into becoming neglectful of your family? I know moms who are so busy doing good things they love, but their family, no their husbands, suffer. He's the one who ends up being just a dad who works.

Wow, what a great question! To be honest, I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer this question. Remember, I'm an over-committer. But I'll give it a shot.

As a chronic over-committer, I've come to learn a few things about taking on too much. Generally, I can detect the warning signs and slow down before it hits crisis point. Sometimes...not.

Warning Signs:

1. You're a "yes" woman.

Does it pain you to tell someone, "No, I'm sorry. I can't help out with that."??? If you were to measure your response ratio, do the "yes"es outweigh the "no"s? Do you find yourself constantly worrying about letting someone down?

2. You're frozen.

You know that feeling when  you have so much to do that you just don't know where to start? So you do nothing (except maybe mindlessly surf Facebook)? Yeah, that usually means you've got too much on your plate.

3. You're crabby.

Sometimes crabby just means overtired or PMS. But sometimes it can mean too busy. If crabby happens and you catch yourself saying, "I'm never going to get all this done!" it's the second reason.

4. You're told.

Has someone from your inner circle recently told you that you're too busy? Has someone you loved complained that you're too busy? Has your husband been inexplicably grumpy with you, especially when you're leaving the house?

An Ounce of Prevention:

A. Learn to be a "no" woman.

Your default response should be "no." Or at the very least, "Let me take some time to think and pray about it."

Remember that you are not responsible for meeting everyone's needs - you are responsible for meeting your family's needs and for obeying God. And if you agree to do everything, you may actually be stealing someone else's blessing. That's right, because by taking on things you're not called to you are essentially stepping into a calling that belongs to someone else. Stealing from them the blessing of serving.

B. Submit to your husband.

Ouch! That one pinches a bit, doesn't it? God gave your husband the overwhelming responsibility of leading your family. God asked you to be his helper. If your man needs more help, asks for more help, or shows signs that he's feeling overloaded - that's your #1 calling.

I try not to agree to taking on new things without talking to Pat first. (If I'm honest, sometimes I say yes and ask later. But when I do so, I try to start out with an apology for not talking to him first.) If your husband is a part of the decision-making, he's more likely to feel supportive of the things you're taking on.

C. Be in tune with the Spirit.

This is the ultimate way of assuring that you don't take on too much. Being in tune with the Spirit works two ways.

First, the Holy Spirit guides our paths (Proverbs 3:6) and tells us whether to turn to the right or the left (Isaiah 30:21). That way, we sense Him leading us toward a "yes" for certain things.

Second, the Holy Spirit gives us strength (Philippians 4:13), so that when it might seem we have a lot going on - as long as they are things ordained by Him - He can keep us moving forward.

A Pound of Cure:

Though you didn't ask this question, I'm sure you were thinking it (I know I would be)...

What should I do or say if I see a friend who has become too busy and is neglecting her family?

I. Pray.

I know it "feels" like doing nothing, but prayer is the absolute most important thing you can ever do for anyone.

II. Speak the truth in love.

If the right opportunity arises, and if your friendship is such that you can do so without causing permanent damage, and if you have a definite sense that God is nudging you to do so - speak the truth in love.

Love, grace, and understanding must permeate the whole conversation, or your words will fall on deaf ears and a hard heart.

III. Help.

Sure, her busy-ness is of her own making, as are the consequences. But true friends don't judge the motives of others to determine whether or not we should help. True friends help regardless of the motives, decisions, and consequences.

IV. Know when to step away.

True friends try and try beyond the point of exhaustion. But wise women also know when it's time to step back, remove yourself from a situation (or even a relationship), and leave things in God's hands.

You are not responsible for saving her family. You are only responsible to do the things God has called you to do for her and her family. Sometimes, we need to get out of God's way. Sometimes, He isn't able to do the work He needs to in a person's heart until they are alone with only Him for help.

Are you at risk of being "too busy?" Or do you see it in someone you love?

Related Posts:
When You Want to Help Everyone
When You Don't Agree with Your Husband
For the Overworked and Overwhelmed Woman, part one
For the Overworked and Overwhelmed Woman, part two

Just a Mom - Q & A, installment 1

Let me take a moment to re-introduce myself.

Hi, I'm Tyler. I'm a chronic over-committer.

You see, my girls are getting ready to go to camp. I'm getting ready for a family vacation. I've got shopping and packing to do, articles to write, errands to run, and kids to keep alive. So it's kinda not a good week for my first venture into vlogging.

I know, excuses, excuses. You should actually thank me, though. It's a really bad (read: gross, greasy, unshowered) hair day today. You didn't want to see that on video.

I will, however, answer some questions for you.

The first question I’ll answer in my Just a Mom series was left by Jen (aka Daddy’s Girl):

I have enjoyed reading this series Tyler, but I guess at this point in life, I am super hungry for how your advice ties into Scripture…

Thanks for asking, Jen!

I try to be cautious in my writing, that I’m not saying anything that is not backed up in Scripture. But I don’t always include those Scripture references in my blog posts.

There are a few reasons for this:
- Sometimes inserting a Biblical reference just won’t fit with the tone and style of the writing.
- Sometimes it’s a word count issue.
- If I’m totally honest, there are times I’m either too rushed or too lazy. (Just keepin' it real, people.)
- But most often it’s because I hope that you will be intrigued and pull out your Bible to see if it backs up what I’m saying.

I want to encourage you to continually check what you hear against the Word of God. Never, ever take anything any teacher tells you at face value! (Not even what I say.) If you want your relationship with God to be personal, you need to ask Him to speak to you personally by giving revelation from His Word.

First, I’ll share with you the particular passage that inspired this whole series. Then, I’ll give you a list of passages to look up on your own.

My favourite verse, the one that has motivated me to serve God beyond my role as a mother, is a clear, Biblical command to women:

Titus 2:3-5 (NLT) says, “Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.”

While there are some clear directions to us women about how we should live our lives, I don't believe that is the intended focus of this passage. Rather, the key point is the fact that the older women are supposed to train the younger women.

As a young mother, I was tempted to brush off this passage as “not applicable” to me. I was the younger woman. (Heck, I’m still pretty young! Right?) Maybe you’re like me, thinking that this passage doesn’t apply. However, there is always a woman younger than you. She could be physically younger, spiritually younger, or in a younger stage of family-raising.

In other words, you are the older woman!

Your job, as the older woman, is to pass along the things that you learn. And not just the things about raising kids, keeping the house, and being a good wife. It says “teach what is good, to live wisely, to be pure, to do good.”

When I look up the word “good” in Strong’s concordance, I see that the Greek word is agathos. Agathos means: of good constitution or nature; useful, salutary; good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy; excellent, distinguished; upright, honorable.

This same word – agathos – is paired with the word “do” and/or the word “works” throughout the New Testament. Some examples are:

- Matthew 19:16-17
- Galatians 6:10
- Ephesians 2:10
- Colossians 1:10
- 1 Timothy 2:10 and 5:10 (which, incidentally, are verses directed toward women)
- 2 Timothy 2:21 and 3:17
- Titus 3:1
- Hebrews 13:21
- 1 Peter 3:10-11

All that to say… We – women – are commanded to do good works, aka service or ministry, in addition to being keepers of the home, Godly wives, and loving mothers.

Now I’ll give you a few Scripture references to search out on your own. And I’d like to suggest that you look each passage up in a few different translations of the Bible. Some words lose their meaning in translation, but reading them in a different translation may provide you with a greater understanding of their meaning.

1. You were created to serve – Jeremiah 1:5 (NCV).
2. You were saved so that you could serve – 2 Timothy 1:9 (LB)
3. You belong to God, therefore you should serve – Romans 7:4 (TEV)
4. You were gifted by God so that you would contribute your unique gifts in service. Your contribution is vital. – 1 Corinthians 12:4-27 (NIV)

Just a Mom, part five - Finding Your Calling

Part one - it's okay to want more

Part two - 5 key principles for getting started

Part three - practical tips for getting out of the slump

Part four - it's not about you

Today - finding your calling

Tomorrow - q & a (to be answered via video next week)
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me start by asking you a question. Do you know what it is that God is calling you to do for His Kingdom?

If you don't, or if you're not sure, may I suggest four questions to ask yourself that will help you figure it out?

1. What am I good at that I also enjoy doing?

Seriously, it begins as simply as that! Ask yourself what you do well and also love to do.

As moms, we sometimes lose sight of our other skills and abilities. You may need to think back a ways to something you used to do that brought you pleasure.

Before kids, were you artistic, painting or creating things of beauty? Do you miss it? Is it possible that you could create art as a means of bringing God glory and sharing His love with others?

Before kids, did you have plans of being a social worker, helping families heal and repair? Do you miss it? Is there a way that you can help families now, even if you're not working in the social work field?

Another possibility is that you can't think of anything that gave you great pleasure until you became a mom. Perhaps you are absolutely gifted as a mother or a homemaker, and you find your joy in creating a beautiful home and teaching your children. Can I ask you, then, why you're keeping those skills to yourself? There are millions of us out there who are desperate for a patient mom to mentor us in the fine art of discipline, for example. How can you use your mothering skills to help others for His glory?

2. What am I passionate about?

Is there a certain topic that, when it comes up in conversation, you are utterly unable to resist voicing your opinion? Do you worry that you come across too strongly, simply because you feel so passionately about it?

Some examples... When teen sexuality comes up, do you go wild about the importance of teaching abstinence? If folks are talking politics and it turns to foreign aid, do you lose yourself in ideas of how to help impoverished countries? Are you gripped by the plight of a certain people group - either at home (homeless, abused, drug addicts...) or abroad (the Delits in India, the restavecs in Haiti, the child prostitutes in Thailand)?

Whatever puts a fire in your belly is probably related to your calling. Maybe you can't fly over to Amsterdam and hand out tracts to the drug dealers, but if you're passionate about it you can do something. Learn all you can, educate others, raise funds, send funds, PRAY.

3. What are my spiritual gifts?

Spiritual gifts are special gifts give by the Holy Spirit to believers when they accept Christ. These gifts don't necessarily manifest themselves immediately, though. Sometimes they take years to develop and grow in you.

There are a lot of gifts (I can't give you definite number), but some include: hospitality, healing, prophecy, administration, leadership, speaking in tongues, interpreting tongues, giving, music, writing, encouragement.

If you feel clueless about your spiritual gifts, I suggest taking a survey to help you get a clearer picture. Two of my favorites are: Finding Your Spiritual Gifts (a printed inventory by C. Peter Wagner) and Spiritual Gifts Test (an online tool).

4. What difficult things have I experienced in life?

You didn't think those hard things in life happened for no reason, did you? No way! We walk through hardship for two reasons: our own spiritual growth and to offer hope and encouragement to others.

When you've suffered the loss of a child, who brought you the most comfort? Likely someone else who had experienced the same thing. Depression? Abuse? Divorce? Teen pregnancy? Ask yourself which of your life experiences may have happened so that you could minister to others.

The hard part is being willing to share openly, so ask God for the courage to share what He wants you to and the wisdom to know how much or little to reveal for each situation.

After you've answered these four questions for yourself, you should have an idea of where God is calling you to serve. If you're still feeling clueless, just jump in and try something! Sometimes you don't know what you're good at until you've experienced it.

I once said those words to my mom, so she decided to try leading a women's Bible study. She's been doing it for at least five years now, leading one group and assisting three or four other leaders as they also facilitate groups!

On a final note, I also want to encourage you to re-evaluate periodically. Maybe every 3 years or so. While your spiritual gifts will never change, over time you may find certain gifts developing more strongly. And though we're all called and commissioned to bring the message of Christ to the ends of the earth, our individual specific roles in that commission may change over time. Sometimes a calling is for but a season...

In 2003, I wrote that I felt called to minister to young women and teens experiencing unplanned pregnancy. I served in various capacities at our local Pregnancy Care Centre for a number of years. More recently, I wrote that I feel called to be an encourager of women, drawing them into a deeper relationship with Christ using my gifts in writing, speaking, and mentoring. Pretty big shift, eh?

So tell me, do you know what you're called to do for this season of your life? If not, what steps are you going to take to figure it out?

Just a Mom, part four - It's Not About You

Part One - it's okay to want more

Part Two - 5 key principles to getting started

Part Three - practical tips for getting out of the slump

Today - it's not about you

Tomorrow - finding your calling

That feeling of wanting more than being just a mom was put in you by the One who created you. But He didn't place that longing inside your spirit for you; He put it there for Him.

You were created to serve God with your life. Each and every one of us was. Yes, everyone. Not just the Christians.

If you're not a Christ-follower, just consider this for a moment... Have you ever asked yourself what the purpose of life is? Have you ever wondered why you're here? Have you ever felt like there's more to it? Like something is missing? Just a little fyi, sweet friends, that empty hole was left in you by the God who created you, and it will only ever feel full and complete and satisfied once you know Him and serve Him.

If you are a Jesus girl, but you still feel that achy emptiness, might I suggest that you've only got one piece of the satisfaction formula? Fulfillment comes from both knowing Him and serving Him.

We are healed to help others. We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve. (Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For?, pp. 229)

Warren describes two different ways of serving God, and says that each of us has both: a ministry and a mission.

Your ministry is simply serving others. Ministry is asking, "Whose needs can I meet?" and then meeting them.

Your mission is your specific, unique, God-given way of serving. Your mission is the combination of your skills, abilities, gifts, talents and personality with the people group that you have a love and a passion for.

For example, when I "do ministry" it may look like: delivering a meal to a new mom, offering to watch a friend's little ones, joining the women's ministry team in our church, signing up for a Sunday of helping in Sunday school, turning my husband's socks right-side-out when I do laundry (I assure you, that is ministry).

When I think of my mission - the specific thing God created me to do - I see women. A sea of beautiful faces, looking for hope and encouragement, desperate to experience the reality of Jesus in their everyday lives.

Too often, we make excuses to avoid being stretched. We don't want to be too busy (and most of us already feel too busy in filling our roles at home), to deal with the challenges of childcare, to try something new and fail... So we say things like, "I'll start serving at the church when my children are a bit older," or "I would have like to help that person out, but I just can't afford it right now," or "For this season, I need to put all my focus on my children."

Here's what God's Word says on the matter:

Now you belong to Him...in order that we might be useful in the service of God.
Romans 7:4 (TEV)

Because of God's great mercy...Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to His service.
Romans 12:1 (TEV)

Your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve and to give My life.
Matthew 20:28 (LB)

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of making excuses.

What's holding you back from serving God?

Head's up! On Friday, I'm going to be asking for your questions. What haven't I addressed in this series? Is there something you want me to elaborate on? Are you looking for more practical tips? Fill up my comments with your questions! I aim to answer them next week via video.

Just a Mom, part one - It's Okay to Want More

A question I often hear, especially from young moms with one or two little (busy) ones, is some variation of "How do you do it all?" What they mean is, "How can you possibly be involved in other things, like ministry or writing or a small group or (fill in the blank) when you've got five kids? I can't imagine being able to do anything else. It's so busy with these little people!"

When I'm asked that, my heart fills with a mixture of compassion and excitement. Compassion... because the long, lonely, overwhelming days of being a new mom are never far from my memory. Excitement... because I love watching the thrill overtaking the face of a new mom who discovers she is not (and was not meant to be) just a mom.

I realize that what I just said may ruffle some feathers, but before anyone gets too worked up let me add this... I do believe that motherhood is one of the most important, profound, blessed callings. I also believe that many of us have a tendency to fill our lives with other stuff and neglect the importance of interactive, intentional parenting. What I'm saying is not to oppose the importance of mothering, but to enhance it.

For many of us, those first years of motherhood are a time of isolation and loss. We begin to question... Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Will the rest of my days be marked by an endless cycle of changing diapers and sweeping floors? In my experience, even a woman who's always dreamed of becoming a mother experiences some level of identity crisis when her child(ren) are young.

So when a mom of young children asks me how I do it, I try to encourage her with these five thoughts:

1. It is less a matter of how I do these other things than how I could survive without them.

There's is nothing more refreshing to an overwhelmed mom than hearing someone honestly say to them, "It's okay to want more. Don't feel guilty. I want more, too."

2. Grandma always said, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

In twenty or so years, these children of mine won't need me (at least not the way they do right now), and if they are my everything, I will eventually be left with nothing.

3. Doing things other than being a mom helps me be a better mother.

Spending a couple hours in a committee meeting with six other women as we plan our church's women's retreat, for example, fills me up. I feel energized and rejuvenated, both by the fellowship and the sense of purpose. So when I come home to my family, my joy spills over into how I interact with them.

4. Being a mom doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't serve in my church and my community.

In His Word, God calls us to show a special love to fellow believers and to take care of widows and orphans. Nowhere does it add, "unless you're busy being a mother." Having small children changes how we do ministry, but it does not make it impossible.

5. Being involved in other things is a beautiful example to my children.

It is good for my children to see me serving God and others. Seeing that the world doesn't revolve around them helps to tame their selfish nature. Sacrificing a small amount of time with mom teaches them that it's better to give than to receive. Observing my passion in ministry inspires them to ask God how He's calling them to serve.

Ultimately, we all make time for things that matter to us. We find time to go on Facebook, read blogs, and watch our favorite TV shows. We shuffle our schedules in order to get to the gym, create scrapbooks, or even attend appointments. It's not impossible or insurmountable to get out of the house and get involved in something. But it does require making a choice, making a plan, and being a little creative.

Tomorrow, I hope to share a few creative ways to get out of the house and allow yourself to be more than just a mom.

The Missing Piece

I couldn't sleep last night. I'm sure it was partly due to the cup of coffee I had during our meeting (I really ought to invest in some decaf, people). Largely, I think my inability to sleep was the result of great joy. Joy because of a meeting.

Those of you who abhor meetings are gagging a bit right now. That's okay. I am fully aware of my nerdiness.

The meeting consisted of a small group of women who barely knew each other taking a few tiny steps in planning our church's first women's retreat. I felt the anticipation as I set out fresh cut veggies that the staff of my local supermarket had slaved over. Joy and fulfillment overtook me as we met, discussing and praying over our first major decision. And after everyone left, it was like a missing piece of my soul clicked into place.

Those of you who hate event planning are gagging even more than the meeting-haters. I understand. It's not for everyone. In fact, I'm not even sure it's for me.

It wasn't the meeting that stirred my passions. Nor was it the planning. It was the act of leading, mentoring, guiding, and pouring into other women. I hate to be cheesy and mis-quote an overused line from a movie I've never seen, but I feel God's pleasure when I am leading.

I love writing, speaking to groups is a thrill, and organizing gives me a sense of accomplishment...but nothing brings the soul satisfaction that comes from mentoring other women.

This surge of joy has me realizing something... In pursuit of writing and speaking and platform-building, I allowed myself to become too isolated. In my isolation, I not only drifted from the experience of fellowship with women, I slipped away from fellowship with God. This morning, I awoke with a burning inside - a desperation - to spend time in the presence of Jesus.

Don't get me wrong, I am wildly in love with writing (and speaking is growing on me more and more). I remain certain that God has called me to minister to women in those ways. I realized, though, that I cannot allow the far reach of that type of ministry to supersede the intimate reach of personal mentorship of women right here in my community.

They're not exclusive. In fact, they are intrinsically intertwined. If I'm not involved in intimate and personal ministry, I cannot succeed in ministry that reaches far and wide. Losing the intimacy distances me from the tangible needs of real women. Losing the intimacy distances me from the heart of my Father. And I find the reality of my relationship with Him falling short of what I know it can be.

I thought that this season in my life might be about teaching me to lean on Him and Him alone for my fulfillment. I thought maybe I needed to learn more about being rather than doing. I think I was wrong. The sweetness of joy that comes from doing life with others is a vital aspect of being His. For me, they can't be compartmentalized.

Do you have a thing that you do, something that draws you closer to God by doing it? Something that, if missing from your life, would leave you wondering why it's so hard to connect with Him?

When You Want to Help Everyone

I'm an idea girl. I hear something, which triggers another something in my heart and my brain, then I say, "Hey, we should...."

I overheard a conversation between two moms at school. One was talking about how she has left the church and won't be returning. The other encouraging her to try a new church, offering her hope and resources. Hey, we should study The Purpose Driven Life together!

I meet a young mom who's feeling overwhelmed with the demands of caring for her two small children. Hey, I should offer to babysit for her sometimes!

I listen to the stories of the struggles of a few of my single mom friends. Hey, we should pay her rent this month!

A couple shares a few tidbits that lead us to believe their marriage is struggling. Hey, we should do some marriage mentoring with them!

I overhear a group of women talking about how they long to spend a weekend on retreat growing closer to God and other women from the church. Hey, we should plan a retreat!

Ideas come to me like flashes of lightening. But the reality is...I can't help everyone. I don't have time to do everything I want to do. I can't afford to do everything I want to do. And I'm not called to do everything I want to do.

Can anyone else relate to this desire to do something to help everyone?!

So how do we decide what good things to do?

1. Don't blurt.

My biggest downfall is my big mouth. I think "Hey..." and then I say it. Once a word has been said, it's very difficult (not to mention humbling) to retract it. When an idea comes, I'm learning to say, "You know, I have an idea here. Let me take some time to pray about this and if God prompts me I'll share this idea with you."

2. Do pray.

A few years back I prayed, asking God to give me His eyes and His heart for the people I encounter each day. I'm pretty sure that's why I wish I could help everyone. Even though feeling deep compassion for everyone you meet brings a bit of confusion, I strongly recommend doing it. Because if we don't have His eyes and heart, we'll miss out on every opportunity. I'd rather accidentally over commit and try to bless too many people than do nothing at all.

3. Ask Him each time.

I am learning to take each of my "Hey, I should..." to God. I'll pray, asking Him to show me if I can be a blessing to this person and how. The funny thing is, He often prompts me to just pray. Not just for that person, but with that person. Right then and there. While our society tends to put a lot of emphasis on practical help, our God puts His emphasis on spiritual help.

4. Obey.

When I ask about those things that stir up my heart, sometimes God tells me to do something practical. Like babysit her kids or invite them to a marriage Bible study. Sometimes, like I said, those ideas are impractical. I don't have the time, money, or energy to follow through on them. Yet God tells me to do it anyway. It's when we need to tap into His strength to bless others that we can truly experience His power in our lives.

5. Wait.

Other times, when I ask God, He tells me to do nothing. Nothing. It's hard to stand back when I think I can be a help, but sometimes it's not my job. When we step in to fill a gap that God hasn't called us to fill, we are stealing the blessing of obedience and service from someone else.

Have you learned any lessons about doing things that God hasn't asked you to do? Or maybe not doing things that He has called you to?

Get Out of the Way

This morning, I was emailing back and forth with a friend about some current struggles in my life. Nothing serious, so don't worry, but stuff that needs dealing with.

I shared with her how I try to do the things I feel God has told me to do, but when the results don't seem to be coming I get frustrated and discouraged. I tell myself, "Why bother? Just give up."

Maybe it's not really me saying those words. They sound a lot more like lies from the enemy of my soul. (Hang on while I ponder this light bulb moment.)

Anyway, she wrote some words that I needed to hear:

God can use your obedience better when you obey and stay out of His way.

Obey. Then get out of the way.

Simple yet profound. Another light bulb moment in my day. Her words remind me of the words of one of my mentors, Shannon Ethridge (Author, Speaker, Life Coach, and BLAST mentor)...

Your job is obedience. God's job is results.

I keep getting hung up on results. I see that I don't have any more speaking engagements this year than I had last year, and I feel discouraged. I see that, in spite of a lot of effort with our kids, they still prefer to bicker almost constantly, and I feel frustrated. I see my credit card balance going down, down, down, then back up again, and I feel trapped. I see the number on the scale creep down by 6 lbs only to go back up by 8, and I feel defeated.

The problem with thinking this way is that anything that can be viewed as failure results in feeling discouraged, frustrated, trapped and defeated.

How I needed the reminder today that God is not an all-or-nothing God. He doesn't say, "Give me perfection or just give up." No, He just wants me to keep moving forward in faith. Trusting His promises, obeying His commands, and waiting on Him for the results.

Obey, then get out of the way, so He can do His job.

Sometimes the fruit of that obedience may result in internal change, or have impact for someone else I'll never know about. Those times when He chooses to let me experience successful results in a tangible way are a gift.

My success or failure is not defined by the tangible results. If I obey my Father, that is success.

Maybe some of you are experiencing a similar struggle right now, where you keep on doing what you feel Him asking you to do, but it just doesn't seem to be making a difference. Might I allow my friend's words to encourage you today?

Just obey.
Then get out of the way.
Your job is obedience.
God's job is results.

Five Ways to be an Encourager

Back in the day (ha, whenever that was!) I used to say that encouragement wasn't one of my spiritual gifts. I used it as an excuse to let moments of offering encouragement slip past unacknowledged. Unbeknownst to the younger me, encouraging others is an integral part of being a leader.

So if encouraging others doesn't come naturally to you, try these pointers.

1. Stock up on blank cards and keep them in several handy places (your office, your home, your  purse, your glove box). If someone crosses your mind, take two minutes right then and there to jot a quick note. Don't forget to deliver it or drop it in the mail (the longer you put it off, the more likely you are to forget).

2. Connect on Facebook. Those of us who use Facebook are on there virtually every day, and it takes no more than 30 seconds to click on someone's profile and leave a little note on their wall.

3. Make a habit of the "two minute longer" conversation. Too often we pass by one another and breeze through the standard chatter:

Hi, how are you?
Oh good! And you?
I'm good, too. Thanks.
See ya!
Bye!

This type of exchange with those who work/volunteer with you is likely to come across as unfeeling and uncaring. And your people want to be cared for! Instead, stop, look the person in the eyes, and genuinely ask a question that directly relates to his or her life (for example, if you know the family was away at a soccer tournament last weekend, ask how the team did).

4. Pray for them! While others may never know you've been praying, the very act of lifting them and their needs up to God grows a heart connection between you. Praying for others helps you to be more concerned with their needs, keeps them in your mind, and causes you to feel a deeper love for them.

5. Be intentional with your words. When you speak of the person, speak only good - it will get back to her. When you speak to the person, express appreciation for who he is and what he does.

If you are a leader in any capacity, learning to encourage those you lead is key. This is particularly true for volunteers (but really, even paid staff need to feel valued and appreciated). It took a two long, discouraging years for me to realize that encouragement was a skill I needed to develop in order to succeed as a leader. In my first couple years of leading women's ministry, we underwent numerous team member changes. Once I began intentionally encouraging my team, there was an almost instantaneous shift - for the next four years, we had virtually no volunteers step down! Possible correlation? I think so.

Here I am, shamelessly bribing my readers...

Every ministry needs a tagline. Or so they say. (By they, I am referring to smart people who build brands for a living.) The tagline is along the lines of a purpose statement, but more along the lines of describing the value offered by the ministry to the recipients. Is this making any sense to you?! Because it barely is to me...

I have been stumped when it comes to tagline development. Which is where you come in, my friends!

You are the reason I come back here day after day and week after week. You encourage me and bless me, and for some crazy reason you keep on reading! Maybe if I understand why you keep coming back, what you get here that God somehow uses flawed li'l me to give...

So let's have ourselves a little contest! If I've learned anything from having kids, it's that a small amount of bribery can go a long way!

Each person who comments will be entered to win...and you get to choose the prize! Your options are:

1. Love and Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs
2. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
3. A $20 gift card to be used at the java joint of your choice
4. The Well-Behaved Child by John Rosemond
5. Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman
6. A $20 iTunes gift card
7. Make up your own prize (price limit, $20)

I would be blessed if every single one of you sweet women who read here took a few seconds to leave a comment with your answers to these questions...


I'll leave the comments open until Friday morning, at which time I will choose a winner. (Okay, I won't choose, but random.org will choose for me.)

Ready? Set? Go!

#1 - What are your favorite topics to read about on this here blogspot? (Try to be specific.)

#2 - What topics would you like to see more of?

#3 - What topics would you like to see less of?

#4 - Using three words, tell me what you hope/expect to find/experience when you stop over.

#5 - Do you stop by regularly (whether you subscribe or click to visit)? Or just occasionally?

And, the bonus question...

#6 - Got a tagline idea for me? Please share!

If I decide to use your tagline, you get to choose a prize, too!

Two Minutes Longer

Wednesday is our women's Bible study morning. We all love Wednesday mornings for different reasons: two hours of childcare, coffee, snacks, girlfriend time, and of course, learning from God's Word together.

Yesterday, a guest speaker shared about the ministry she launched in women's prisons. The discussion in our group centred around the question, What can we do to help free people from their prisons? and in particular, How does this look for mothers with many small children?

Here are a few ideas we shared:

* Take two minutes longer in conversation with someone. Move just a tiny bit beyond typical small talk so that the person you're talking with gets the sense that you really do want to know how they are. This doesn't count only for friends, but strangers - the grocery clerk checking through your groceries, the person in line with you at Tim Horton's or Starbucks, the unusual man who stops to chat for no apparent reason...

* Send a card. In the mail. It's a simple as that - think of someone, write a card, pop it in the mail. I mean, don't you get just a little bit happy when you receive mail that's not a bill?

* Deliver a meal. Some people do this for new moms or when there's a family death, but meals can be offered for all sorts of occasions (or for no reason at all). Moving, sick kids, hubby away for a long time - these are all great excuses to drop off dinner for someone.

Don't cook? Yeah, me neither. But $10 for a frozen lasagna and a bag of caesar salad isn't too hard to come by.

* Invite someone over for coffee and a visit. The fact is, being a mom can sometimes be a lonely gig. Nothing lifts the spirits as well as simply getting out of the house! So invite that other mom you've met at church or the kids' school, the mom down the street, whoever. (You can also invite non-moms, of course! But if you've got preschoolers, make sure you warn her in advance. *wink*)

* Make a phone call or send an email to someone when you think of them. Say, "I was just thinking of you..."

There are a million things we can do as "ministry" that don't require us to take time off work, find childcare, teach Bible studies, or visit prisons. It seems that we've run out of excuses. Our group challenged each other, and I'd like to extend that challenge to you...

This week, reach out to someone in friendship and encouragement. You can use one of the ideas we came up with as a group, or something completely different. And then, I hope you'll come back to share what you did. That way we can spur one another on as we minister from where we're at.

I'll share what I did in the comments...

Without Question



image courtesy of eslpod.com



I've been questioning God lately.

I'm not being completely honest here... I almost always question Him.

It's not that I don't trust God. Rather, I don't trust myself. I have doubts and second-guess what I think I've heard.

Here's the short version of my most recent example of questioning...

1. God tells us to move. We (Pat and I) both clearly sense that one of the reasons for the move is so that I can focus on building my writing and speaking ministry.
2. I do some things to build the ministry.
3. It seems to be growing more slowly than I had hoped or anticipated.
4. I wonder, "Did I hear right? Is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? Maybe there's something else I should be doing in the meantime."
5. I investigate a variety of career options. I apply for jobs. (Not that I ever intend to actually be a working mom, because I'm quite certain that my work in life will be a combination of motherhood and ministry. I'm just thinking of working in the meantime, while I wait for the ministry dream to become a reality.)
6. Doors close. No job for me.
7. I am left wondering where I went wrong and asking God questions.
8. As is His style with me, I sense God's reply holds a mixture of patience, chagrin, and sarcasm. "I never did tell you to apply for jobs, did I? So what exactly are you unclear about?"
9. I still wonder and worry.
10. God provides confirmation of His calling through two emails from magazine publishers.

I have an awareness that I am supposed to press on, yet a desire for something to happen now. Because God's plan doesn't seem to be fitting the same timeline as my plan, I question.

I know an amazing woman, Donna Jordan, who teaches with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) on hearing the voice of God (aka listening prayer). She asks God questions all the time, but she doesn't question Him. Once she has her answer, she trusts.

I was thinking how I'd like to be more like Donna. To be the kind of woman who knows that I know that I have been given clear direction from my Father, trusting Him for as long as it takes...without question.

The difference between Donna and I (besides the fact that she's a seasoned woman who's spent most of her adult life as a missionary and I'm a younger mom living in the comforts of a big house in the city) - she talks to God and listens to Him every. single. day. She is so familiar with His voice that there is little room for doubt.

If I want to be a woman who does not question my Daddy's instructions, I need to be absolutely and utterly familiar with the sound of His voice.

I recently heard Brad Jersak speak on listening to God, and he shared about a challenge that his wife took on. She added a few minutes to her daily quiet time to ask God one question and journal His answer. Every day. For forty days. It changed her relationship with her Abba forever.

I have decided to take up her challenge for this year's season of Lent - the 40 days where we prepare our hearts to truly celebrate Christ's sacrifice, His death and resurrection. According to my friend, Google, Lent begins on Ash Wednesday (March 9th this year) and ends on the Saturday of Easter weekend (April 23rd). If you're into math (fellow geeks unite!), you'll count 46 days. Also according to Google, the Sundays in Lent are not included in the 40-day count, as each Sabbath is considered a "mini-Easter" celebration.

During that time, I'd like to share some of my experiences with you. I'd love for some friends to join me and blog about their times of listening to God, too. I'll put up a linky and everything. On Thursdays, from March 10 - April 21, we can fellowship together over coffee and under our Father's love. Sometime between now and then, I'll come up with a catchy name and a button for our little series. (Now accepting applications for "catchy name developers" and "pro-bono blog button designers." *wink*)

Anyone else need a fresh word from God?

Would you care to join me on this Lenten journey of asking, listening, and writing it down?


It's important to mention one other person who has inspired my desire to seek out God's voice more intentionally, because she teaches me more about Him every time she writes... Sandy, thank you for always bringing us back to centre - back to God - at God Speaks Today. Your series 30 Days of Hearing God was a major inspiration for this unnamed series; your series God Speaks through the Storm is what brought me to your blog; and your current series, Freedom from Perfection is getting on my nerves (in a good way)! If we lived in the same zip code/ postal code, I can guarantee that you'd find me lurking on your porch angling for a coffee and a visit chalk full of wisdom and inspiration far more often than you'd like!

What's Your Calling?

I dont know what stirs great passion and restlessness in my soul. How does one figure it out? This question, from Bobbie's heart to my inbox, is a question that keeps many a church member firmly planted in their pews when a call for volunteers is put forth.




In ministry, we need to find strategies to help our volunteer force discover their callings. If we don't, the result will be unhappy volunteers, people serving in ministry areas that drain them, others feeling as though they don't fit anywhere, and a general lack of passion throughout the church.

I once listened to a friend espouse the merits of serving in children's ministry. She spoke of the fun, the connecting, the joy of being a part of a child's faith walk. She concluded her passionate monologue with the words, "As far as I'm concerned, children's ministry is the most important ministry of the church! Without it, we are nothing." By the time she finished, my heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and I was fired up! I was nanoseconds away from signing myself up to teach Sunday school. That woman - she had found her calling! (Thankfully, I stopped and asked God before I jumped in the boat with her. Because children's ministry - while arguable the most vital of all aspects of the church - is so not my calling.)

Unfortunately, the majority of people in the church do not know where their calling lies as this friend did. As leaders in the church, we have a responsibility to help these wandering souls find their passions. Not only to fill all those gaping volunteer holes, but to get the body fully functioning in the way it was intended to.

So, how do we know what we're called to do?!

#1 - What gets you fired up?

Is there a cause that you cannot help but champion? Is there a people group that makes your heart swell with love? What topics of discussion inevitably draw you into debate?

In my college years, no matter how liberal the thinking surrounding me, I was never able to sit quietly while others discussed abortion. It usually came around to, "What about the emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain and suffering that those women will endure for the rest of their lives as a result of the decision to abort?" It always brought debate, sometimes heated, but I could not stop myself! The belief that women who underwent an abortion would suffer beyond their comprehension broke my heart. (Still does.)

I volunteered at our local Pregnancy Care Centre for several years - first as a peer counsellor, then on the crisis line, and later as a parenting coach for young and disadvantaged moms. (Can anyone say "women's ministry?")

#2 - What kinds of things are you good at?

Are there certain tasks you really enjoy? A particular type of work? When in a crowd, do you find yourself stepping up as a leader? Offering creative ideas? More willing to go with the flow? Wanting to be hands on? Do you prefer to work alone or as part of a team?

I remember a science project in seventh grade... We were put in pairs and encouraged to come up with anything we wanted. More than half the class created homemade volcanoes. But I wanted to do something different, something unique, revolutionary even. We (okay, mostly I) created a huge maze and trained my hamster to go through it. Along with one other pair, we won scholarships to attend the provincial science fair.

I recall a sixth grade writing project... There had been an earthquake somewhere in the world. We were to write a short story about an earthquake in our town. I went to my mom's workplace after school for weeks, typing out my story on the receptionist's typewriter. The result was a 10-page work of fiction that jumped scenes akin to a soap opera.

I never was satisfied with just doing "enough." I disdained the idea of simply doing what everyone else was doing. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could have possibly found contentment in following someone else's lead. And, there was that minor discovery about how much I completely loved writing...

#3 - What are your spiritual gifts?

Spiritual gifts are more than just personality type, communication style, talents, or abilities. (Although, discovering those things about yourself will also really help in figuring out your calling!) Spiritual gifts are unique to those belonging to God's family. When we accept Christ, He gives us gifts that fit our callings, through His Holy Spirit. Many of those gifts are fitting with the skills and interests we already have, but some of those gifts we will see develop over time, as we grow in our relationship with God.

Even as a young child, I was considered the mother hen of the group. I think that was their nice way of telling me I was bossy! But I simply loved organizing things and people and schedules. I would help my friends sort their binders and choose their course options. My administrative gifts were evident early on.

You know that bossy thing, though? It was a problem (at least for other people). But my motives were well-intentioned. I wanted everyone to be their best, to do their best, to give their all. It made me mad when people didn't. It has only been in the past few years that I learned new ways - better ways - to encourage people. It was through practice and experience that my gift of exhortation was discovered.

#4 - What are your experiences?

God does not waste our pain and struggles. Not ever. If we let Him, He will use every difficult thing we have ever walked through to draw others to Him.

Is there something in your life, something that you have survived, that you just know in your gut must have a purpose?! Chances are, it does.

Those who run women's shelters are often women who were previously abused. If you are walking through a difficult marriage or painful divorce, chances are the only people you really want to talk to about it are others who have been on that same path. Support groups and recovery groups are usually led by those who share that experience. Without the willingness of those people, we would have nowhere to turn when life's trials begin to beat us down.

Perhaps God is calling you to be willing...

#5 - Sometimes you just gotta try!

There is no perfect formula to uncovering the work that God has called you to. Some people just know. Other have no clue! While I believe it is vitally important for us to serve within our gifts (that is to say, serve in ways that use our gifts and fuel our passions), sometimes the only way to figure it out is by trial and error.

Those things you find joy in, you feel challenged but not overwhelmed in, and you look forward to - they are probably bringing you closer to that calling. Those things that drain you, make you feel discouraged and disgruntled, that you dread - they are not likely to be taking you in the right direction. It's okay to try something and, when you realize it's not where you should be, to let it go.

I'm hoping my mom will share her story of "just trying" something out in the comments. (Hint, hint.)

Do you know what your calling is/ where your passions lie? If not, are you ready to find out?

* Pretty much this whole post has its basis in 1 Corinthians 12, so check it out.

Solitude

While enjoy moments of quiet and time to myself - such as my quiet time in the mornings or when I'm writing - I am largely a social person. Being with people fills me up, gives me energy, and brings me joy. Even if I'm feeling down and think that I want to hole up in my house, the best cure for a blue mood is a couple hours spent chatting it up with a girlfriend.

I think that's what I miss most about my time leading women's ministry. The fellowship and friendship were wrapped up with the work. Serving God through planning and implementing activities for women was fuel for my extroverted soul. I can't say that I've had much of a social life to speak of in a number of years. But I was incredibly blessed in that my ministry became my social life.

These past months have revealed to me that speaking and writing are completely different from what I have known. They are solitary pursuits. The unfortunate side-effect of this ministry is that I am needing to block off large chunks of time where I "go off the social grid" in order to do what I need to get done. Adjusting to the quiet is not an easy thing. This fall, I have felt loneliness more stark than I've experienced at all since we moved over a year ago.

I write for my blog...alone.

I continue to research and edit my book proposal (albeit very slowly)...alone.

I pray about, research, and prepare for a talk...alone.

I travel to a speaking engagement...alone.

While I believe and have hope that this ministry will eventually grow beyond me, and that there will be a team of women together to plan and pray, write and speak, for this season it's just me. Well, God and me. Don't get me wrong, I love having time with God! (My recent three hour trip to speak was a wonderful time of worship and communion with Him.) Nothing can truly compare, though, to the special connection that happens in friendship with women.

There are, of course, other factors contributing to this loneliness. Appointments, assorted illnesses, nap times, and more have been filling up the few free days I have. My friends have busy lives, too. They've got ministries, jobs, appointments, and illnesses just like me.

You know, I'd really like to tie a neat little bow on this post. End with something about how God is sufficient. And He is. Yet knowing that He is doesn't necessarily fill the void created by all this solitude. So as much as the writer in me wants to give you a conclusion, I can't. At least not today. All I can leave you with is reality. And sometimes reality doesn't wrap a story up in pretty paper, bringing joy and peace and closure. Sometimes reality just leaves you hanging in limbo.

But God, I don't even like women!

I used to despise my own gender. Girls can be so unkind, manipulative, and fickle, especially in their teen years. After a few hurtful experiences, I determined that it was preferable to spend my time with boys. I hung out with them at school and work. They were my "buddies" and my confidantes. (In fact, Pat was one of my BFFs in high school.)

No one was more surprised than me when I ended up in women's ministry. How can a woman who really doesn't like other women possibly do women's ministry?!

It began as a desire to have my needs met, seeing that no one else was going to meet them, and doing something about it. It grew into a vision of wanting women's hearts to be changed, so that instead of being in competition with one another we would become sisters. Eventually, through working alongside other women for years, my passion grew to include mentoring other women in leadership.

Funny thing is, in order to lead a women's ministry, one is required to work side-by-side with other women all the time! Even funnier, I discovered a deep love for my own gender that I never thought I could feel.

Jen asked, What stirs great passion and restlessness in your soul?

The answer is: women. I think it can be summed up best by one line in my bio...
[My] desire is to see women experiencing the freedom and fellowship that come from leading transparent lives, developing strong spiritual habits, and discovering the power of Christ in their lives and ministries.

This desire is what spurred me to first start blogging, to begin writing my book, and even to launch my speaking ministry. Not only am I passionate to impact women for Christ, but ministries. In particular, women's ministries. Because if we want the women in our churches to grow, it needs to begin in the leadership.

My number one and two passions are ministry to women and equipping/mentoring for women's ministry leaders. Coming up a close third is marriage. And missions. Then abstinence/healthy sexuality. And of course, being a special needs mom. Oh, and tithing and giving. And... Okay, I tend to be a passionate person overall! This list pretty much sums it up. (P.S. Feel free to share my bio with your women's ministry leader when planning your next event. Okay? *wink*)

Since it's such a great question, I'm stealing it... So tell me, what stirs great passion and restlessness in your soul?

Giving starts right here

What comes to your mind when you hear the word "giving?" Do you tend to think of feeding the homeless, sponsoring a child, and the like? While I believe this type of generosity is absolutely vital, I believe there is another form of giving that many of us neglect.

Giving to the local church. I'm not referring to tithing here (though we should all do that), but to the offering up of our time and talents. Do you serve within your church? In a capacity that makes use of your spiritual gifts?

We worshippers tend toward one of these two mindsets: "I have done my time, it's someone else's turn," or
"If I don't do it, nobody will." I propose to you that both of these thought patterns are flawed.

Everyone should serve in a volunteer capacity.

Yes, everyone. Those who are paid staff of the church should find a way to serve elsewhere that is unpaid. Full time mothers with fifteen small children need to find a place to volunteer. Hard working men ought to seek out a ministry to get involved with. Every single person in the church body has a vital role to fill, and without me, without you, the church is merely functioning - not thriving.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many...

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. As it is, there are many parts, but one body...

But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

~1 Corinthians 12:12, 14-20, 24b-27

Each person should use their God-given gifts in service.

When I had small children, I volunteered in the nursery. Because I "should." Those nursery Sundays were the most mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining 90 minutes of my life. I would get up in the morning dreading it, and would leave exhausted and short-tempered with my family. Until I discovered my spiritual gifts, one of which is administration.

Have you ever thought about how much work goes into the oversight of the church nursery? Creating spreadsheets and name tags, writing newsletters, keeping track of sign-ins and clearances. (If you're from a smaller church, perhaps this list of "need tos" has you shaking your head. All I can tell you is that large church culture is different and requires more extensive security precautions.) Needless to say, I discovered that there were ways to give my time to the nursery ministry that used my spiritual gifts.

God doesn't call us all to fill the vacancies in church ministry (although, I won't dare say never...sometimes He will ask us to do something completely stretching), He calls each of us to serve Him in a specific way. In a way that He has equipped us to serve, to give.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
~Romans 12:4-8 (NLT)

Just give!

Giving love, money, and time to the needs at home and abroad is necessary. As is giving time, talent, and effort in our local church. Doing one without the other is like...well, I don't know, exactly...incomplete. Like baking bread without yeast.

Scratch that ending - you tell me! I need a good metaphor, simile, or analogy. Go ahead and fill in the blank (in the comments). :)