Friday, February 29, 2008

Understanding Jesus

I've been reading through Matthew these days, and I'm surprised to find that it's taking a while. It seems that everywhere I go there are words that are more to me than they were before. I have this desire to dig deeper into these words and understand more clearly what they mean - what Jesus means when He speaks them. Hopefully you can bear with my fumbling learning curve as I work through some parts of the sermon on the mount, starting with the beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12)...

Blessed are the...

I think it's important to first figure out what Jesus means by the term 'blessed.' In my everyday life, I often equate blessings and things. For example, "What a beautiful home you have," "Thank-you, we're very blessed." Or, "God has blessed me with these children/this marriage/these friends." To be honest, I really don't think that's what Jesus is getting at here. I really can't imagine Him sitting on this big hill, chatting with his disciples while a crowd of people listens in, telling them "Now, if you are poor in spirit, meek, merciful, etc., I assure you that you will have a life full of great things that you can give Me credit for."

I think the key to 'blessed are those' is found at the end of each verse: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... for they will be comforted... for they will inherit the earth... for they will be filled... for they will be shown mercy... for they will see God... for they will be called [daughters] of God... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... and finally - because great is your reward in heaven. Jesus isn't telling me how to get everything I want or need here, but He is telling me how to get the ONLY thing I really need! He cares so much that I receive this 'blessing' that He provides me with a thorough list of the character attributes He wants me to develop, in order to receive His great heavenly rewards.

...poor in spirit

Okay, I must confess that I initially read over this the same way I would skim a phrase in a novel that I didn't completely understand. Like understanding that one phrase probably won't affect the overall impact of the story. In fact, I flew all the way through Matthew's fifth chapter, and it was only once I reached the end that I realized I didn't truly grasp any of what Jesus was talking about! We all know what it means to be poor, right? To do without, to have not. Or in terms of a poor performance - weak, lacking, unsatisfactory, inferior. So is Jesus really saying we will be blessed if our spirit (or spirtual lives) are weak? I couldn't wrap my head around this, because I know that Christ has called me to grow strong in Him, so I pulled out my handy google search engine. After reviewing about 5 different takes on it, my heart settled on this: we are poor in spirit, imperfect and lacking. To accept this fact and acknowledge that, on our own, we are spiritual nothings, destitute - we can do nothing apart from Christ - this is what it means to be poor in spirit. Ah-hah

Isaiah 66:2b This is the one I esteem: [she] who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

Oh, to be esteemed by God Himself! Our pastor often speaks of having a contrite heart and spirit, of putting ourselves in our rightful place (way below God). This heart attitude, a BE-attitude, will reap unimaginable rewards in heaven. Oh Father, that I would be poor in spirit and beautiful in Your eyes...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Resisting Temptation

This past week has been tough! I am using Weight Watchers to help me watch my eating, because I find if I'm without 'rules' to follow I give in to temptation far too easily. I'm only allowed 22 points per day, which I'm guessing is close to 1200 calories. Two weeks ago, when I was full-time breastfeeding, I was able to eat 30 points per day. BIG change in eating habits! But I made it!!!

I was fairly lazy this week...just couldn't seem to get motivated to exercise. But last night Pat did pilates and an aerobics video with me (if you saw the 'girlie' moves they were doing, you'd be so impressed). Sweet, sweet man, willing to set aside his weight bench to help motivate me.

This morning, God gave me some great encouragement to resist temptation - the temptation to overeat or make poor choices, the temptation to be lazy and unmotivated, the temptation to give up. Matthew 4:4 says Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" When I read those words it struck me, I don't NEED potato chips or an extra serving of dinner. I don't NEED to rest and relax. The One and Only thing I need is the Word of God! I do believe that God intends for me to be healthy and well, free from back pain and free from vices. He can help me do this! How terrible that I only now realize how much God really has to do with my weight loss, how much He really cares.

Here are my 'tales from the scales' for this week...
weight: 158.4 lbs (lost 1.4)
body fat: 30% (lost 1)
Not the amazing results I was hoping for, but in keeping with how hard (or not) I worked. And a loss is a loss, right?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tiny Talk Tuesday

A bunch of women (including myself) were busy making packages for the craft at our upcoming women's retreat. Megan (4) enters the rooms and wonders what we're doing. I tell her that we're putting together a craft for the ladies to do on the retreat. Incredulous, she exclaims, "But adults don't do crafts!" (Note to self: make an effor to 'appear' slightly more interested in crafty things for the sake of the children.)

Shea (2) has 2 favorites lately. Instead of aruging by saying 'no,' she prefers "actually..." (pronounced ak-chu-leeee). Miss independent also likes to insist, "I do it my OWN self!"

This past weekend, Braeden (9) had the opportunity to attend Snow Camp - sponsored by our local radio station and Tim Horton's (which, for you Americans out there, is kinda like Starbucks only better, lol). The poor boy was not pleased about boarding the bus; when they returned I learned that he cried for an hour :(. Saying prayers on Sunday night, Braeden wants to thank God for Snow Camp and all the fun and friends...Amen. As I'm closing his bedroom door I hear, "Mom?"
Me: "Yes, Braeden?"
B: "I go to Snow Camp again?"
Me: "Well, maybe someday, sweetheart" (sha, not likely kiddo!).
B: "I go on Friday?"
Me: "Um, no bud, let's give it some time okay."
LOL - kids!

To see what other people's kids are saying, check out Mary's page.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

On Attitudes

I have been super grouchy lately. Not to the point where I'm nasty to be around (though you'd have to ask Pat to be sure), but just where I'm scowly and grumbly.

For example, our retreat committee met yesterday to do some assembly for the craft. Basically, we needed to put all the pices together in a Ziplock bag so when the women at the retreat want to do their craft everything they need is already together. Now, if you don't know me you might not be aware of my 'quirks.' One of these quirks is my utter lack of craftiness. I am terrible at anything craft-related! Not only that, but I just don't enjoy it. (Give me a bunch of walls to paint and I'm in my glory, but DO NOT ask me to create a lovely handicraft!) I digress... Anyway, we're there to work and to fellowship, so you'd think I could deal. Nope. Hated it. So un-fun. The worst part is, though, that this 'hated it' attitude was written all over my face for 4 hours!

I know in my heart that, in spite of the unpleasantness of the task, I could have chosen to enjoy my time with 9 totally great women. I could have taken joy in the throng of children in and out of the room, rather than feeling irritable about how rambunctious they were. I could have done the work with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. But I didn't. What's even worse is that I am noticing this attitude issue cropping up all over the place.

Maybe I need more sleep (after all, waking up 4 times each night is probably not quite what my body needs). Maybe I need Christine (my BFF who is working full-time for a few months...we normally talk about everything several times a day, now we talk about nothing once a week). Normally, I'm a fairly optimistic gal; I like to encourage others to see the good in things. I don't really know where all this crabbiness is coming from, but that's not really important. I need to figure out how to change it!

So I was thinking, what would I do (if I were feeling inspired and creative) to help my children learn about having a good attitude? Ah-ha! The answers to all life's questions can be found in one precious Book... Here's one little tidbit of God's advice to me on attitudes:

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
I really like how the Message puts it...
Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work. [or a bad attitude]

Here's where you, my reader-friends come in. I need help! I seem to be having some difficulty finding more Scripture about changing my attitude. So I need you to please comment and leave me some more verses!

Friday, February 22, 2008


Do you ever start to feel complacent, apathetic even, in your faith? I know there are times when I do...

When life is rolling along smoothly - no major issues with any of the kids, marriage is feeling solid, ministry is growing - it's almost as if God gets nudged back in my life. My time is filled with going to Church and Bible study, serving in ministry, reading good books about God. But time spent, just God and I, slips away.

I tend to develop this mindset of, "God has me so busy at home and in ministry, and I really grow through the act of serving, so it's all good." I keep on plugging ahead, and I'm certain I really am learning, growing, and changing...but I'm missing something vital - connecting, knowing His heart for me. Though my Spirit is shouting at me that it needs more, my flesh tells me that this is enough. I get 'settled' and become complacent. Sound familiar?

Did you know that the Bible isn't just a good book or a bunch of words that God wants us to read? Recently I learned that His Word is His love letter - to me! That's kind of hard to grasp, I know. Take a moment to consider your first big crush... He's theeee cutest boy in school, and he likes YOU! You go to your locker and discover an envelope stuffed inside, with a note in it! What do you do? You might eagerly tear it open right there, unwilling to wait even one minute before drinking in his adoring words. Maybe you tuck it away to read in the quiet stillness later, when you can really savour each precious phrase.

God has given us a love letter like that - how can we go to His Book with anything less than eager anticipation of how His words of love can fill our lives? Oh, I'm so sad to say that I often open my Bible with a sense of duty rather than excitement. I can just imagine the look on my husband's face if he gave me a Valentine's card and I opened it with the attitude, "well, I'll read it because I have to, sigh." His very Spirit would be crushed. And yet I do this to my LORD!

I pray that I will not have a complacent faith. Give me a passion and excitement to be with You, to bask in Your Presence, and especially to read the beautiful love letter You wrote just for me. Forgive me, Lord, for the way my attitude has hurt You. I love you so much, God! Please, change my heart so that my actions and time spent reflects how deeply I love you.
In Jesus Beautiful Name,

Thursday, February 21, 2008

A Day in the Life

I always wonder about what other women do... so I thought if I show you mine, maybe you'll show me yours? (Agenda for the day, I mean.)

6am - Pat's alarm sounds, he hits snooze
6:11 - ditto
6:22 - ditto
6:30 - my alarm sounds (much better radio station than his, lol); today I hit snooze (I would say that 3/6 days I do this, the other 3 I actually get up, Saturdays I don't set an alarm)
6:33 - Pat's alarm again, snooze again
6:38 - my alarm again (like really, with his alarm going every 11 min and mine every 8, why do we even bother?! - there's no way this can be classified as more sleep); I'm irritated by the constant and clashing radio music, so I get up... brew a pot of coffee... sit down for my God time, today I decide to just spend time in prayer (sometimes I just work on a study book or read my Bible, and if I'm honest there are days I end up doing nothing - a variety of reasons for this, as you can imagine with 5 kids, lol)
6:44 - Pat's alarm, snooze
6:55 - ditto
7:06 - Pat's alarm, he gets up! (why the man doesn't just set his alarm for 7am, I'll never know?!)
7:10 - Kai starts hollering from his crib - needs a diaper change and a bottle - ready to conquer the world
7:15 - finally, I get to pour a cup of that coffee!
7:25 - Abbey & Meg appear upstairs, starving and already bickering; cereal is served (in case you're wondering, if fast and easy equalled fine cuisine I'd be a gourmet chef!)
7:30ish-9ish - this is when time begins to blur all together in the flurry of breakfast, brushing teeth, packing backpacks, leaving for work, leaving for school, numerous requests for juice and wiping of bums, noses, etc...

9 - by now, the big kids are off to school (Abbey only goes to Kindergarten on T/ Th/ every 2nd Fri; Meg goes to playschool Wed/ Fri mornings; Braeden, of course, goes to school M-F), Malakai is typically ready to lay down for a nap, and whatever combination of children are still at home are busily engaged in singing/ dancing/ gymnastics routines in the middle of the living room
9-noon - depending on the day of the week, you'll find me any number of places, not usually at home --- really, I should be at the gym EVERY morning working out (haven't been there once in over 2 weeks, boo!) --- (Mon, lazy home day; Tues, was Meg's gymnastics until she refused to participate 3 weeks in a row, now ?; Wed, Frienship Factor at our Church; Th, housework day; Fri, errands)'s morning agenda includes: vacuum, dust, windex, sweep, swiffer, scrub tubs/sinks/toilets, clean the disgusting little rodent's cage (thanks a lot, Santa), laundry, kitchen, help the kids sort toys back into their proper locations... (I should be honest here and tell you that I'm not really as organized as it sounds, lol, I am looking at my giant calendar as I type - there are an unfortunate number of days where appointments get missed, oops, if I forget to refer to the oh-so-vital calendar!)

noon - lunch time, which we all look forward to (the kids likely had a snack or two mixed in with all the morning schmazzle); lunch is typically mac & cheese, alphaghetti, grilled cheese, soup, or some such fancy fare for the kids; mom has salad, yougart, fruit, or when we've got a little extra $ a microwavable Weight Watchers meal
1pm - NAP TIME/QUIET TIME - NO EXCEPTIONS!!!; now, if I've been home, I'm sure I've checked email at least 4 times by now (it's in my living room, so when I hear the ding, I go running!), but this is the time I typically veg and read blogs, check facebook, etc; I also try to sqeeze in some work time for women's ministry, as there's always something to be done (lots of time spent just chatting on the phone, which can be great but exhausting... email... website maintenance... event/retreat planning... etc.)
2:35 - Braeden's bus delivers him to our doorstep. (I know, ridiculously early, isn't it?!) Apparently shortening the day for the special needs class that he's in makes it easier for the teachers - what about the parents, lol. Wonderfully, this is his time to play his play station or go down the street to his buddy's house (who's in the same class and also gets home ridiculously early).

3 - by now, all semblance of quiet time is thrown to the wind and loud is the new rule; I try to do supper prep, talk on the phone, keep the kids busy, and stay on top of the email (I am unable to bear the concept that an email would arrive and I would miss it somehow by not checking immediately, lol - Pat thinks I have a problem, I call it 'organization' and 'staying on top of things')
4 - run out to meet Abbey's bus around the corner (thankfully, another mom walks Abbey and her friend to the bus in the morning), bringing an assortment of kids or not, depending who wants to come (if no one comes, I am pretty much okay with leaving them for the 5-10 minutes it takes, as long as I know they're occupied with TV or a snack and as long as Kai is not on the floor - thankfully, he's still typically sleeping)
4-6:30 - again, enter the crazy zone! (I once received a phone call as we were preparing to sit down for dinner, and the woman on the other end asked if I was having a party, hahahaha)... somewhere in here we eat and clean up, do homework (this is Dad's job, phew), pack lunches for the next day, set out clothes for tomorrow (let me tell you how much headache this brainwave has saved me each morning!)
6:30 - bath time assembly line - sorry, no time to play when there's 5 to get clean (and a new rule - no one baths together - thanks to too many flooding incidents, lol)
...also, this is the time that we will be leaving and having a sitter arrive if we've got grown-up evening stuff going on; usually a couple nights a week (Mon, either women's Bible study for me, or right now 'Love and Respect' course for us; Wed, senior high youth for Pat; assorted women's ministry meetings for me; date nights; VERY occasionally a fun night out with friends for either or both of us - let's see, we went to Pat's work Christmas party together on Dec. 15; oh, I went hot tubbing at my BFF Christine's house about 2 weeks ago; wow, Pat really deserves a night out! Ohmygoodness, I can't believe I forgot this - we got to go to Riverdance on Feb. 16!!! Yah, Pat really really deserves a night out.)...

8pm - bedtime, phew! Prayers and songs all around, followed by Mommy collapsing on the couch (well, for a few minutes until one little mess or another catches her attention).
10:30ish - Mommy's bedtime (oh, yeah, Daddy's too, lol).

When I write it all out like this it makes me feel a little breathless! But it's actually not that bad. There are times where it is sooooo loud, times when the sqwabbling gets to be too much, but overall it's just routine. Watching my friends with older they've got BUSY! Extra-curricular stuff, family stuff, major homework, oh boy!

So, what's your day look like? How many times per day can you be found at the computer? Do you try to grab some 'God time' each day (and when, and how many days are you successful)? Do you feel busy? Too busy?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Driving along one day, Meg (4) asked why the snow on the road looks dirty. Thinking I should jump on this learning opportunity, I delve into an explanation of road gravel, traction, and so on... In spite of Meg's less than enthusiastic participation, I quietly hope that she's grasping the concept. Later, to test her comprehension, I ask if she remembers the big word we talked about earlier. With a slightly irritated look on her face, Meg demands, "Why are you trying to teach me?!" LOL! This, people, is why God has not called me to home school.

Abbey (6) to her dad, "Dad, William - not William in my class, but William on the bus, you know...the one who's in grade 2, he's 7-years-old -" (deep breath) "he said he has a crush on me." Dad asks, "Do you know what that means?" "No" (giggling). Dad, "Well, what did you say to him?" Abbey, "I laughed." How straightforward...

Braeden (9) to dad, "Dad - you took Mom for a date? Where'd you go?" Dad, "Sure did buddy. We went to see Riverdance." "Aw Dad, that's so cute! I'm proud of you!" Really, how does a 9-year-old know that watching people dance around for 2 hours is less than fantastic to most men?!

To see what other little ones are saying, check out Mary's blog.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Minimize-Your-Size Monday

I've linked up to a group of women who are working together to lose weight. Next week I'll be posting on 'Live Well Wednesday.' (So much for my great title - thanks for the idea & feedback, Lucille.)

And so you know, Pat and I have renewed our focus. We have a goal! We're going to Reno in June to spend some time with his brother and family, and we'd be far too embarassed to show up as fat slobs. So, 17 weeks to lose 20 pounds (for me)...I'll keep Pat's secret safe ;).

In fact, I'd like to put a counter on my site - anyone have any good countdown widgets to suggest? I keep finding pregnancy ones, and I DEFINITELY do not want one of those, LOL!

Okay, down to the nitty gritty. Same as last week. At least I didn't gain again. Phew. But it would really be nice to be a loser again, heehee.

Is there anyone else out there trying to lose weight that can be my support group?!

Sunday, February 17, 2008


Have you ever wondered about pain and suffering in this world? You know, why do bad things happen to good people? Angela has posted some interesting thoughts on this, and is even doing a weekly series over at her ministry page. I strongly reccommend checking it out!
Blessings, friends!

Riverdance Battle what we were doing last night! (I took only one tiny video clip - can you believe I even dared to break the rules!?) This youtube video gives the experience much better justice, though. Thankfully, our experience was sans the Japanese/Chinese subtitles.

What a totally awesome experience!!!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Here's a fun Valentine's idea!

Some very fun people and other very funny people have decided to start a little bloggy linky thing and post their 'how we met' stories! (You can join in the fun, too - just follow the links.) Never one to be left out, I decided to share our story...

Apparently Pat knew me before I knew him, if you know what I mean. I had dated the occasional fella in high school, and maybe one or two of those were friends of Pat's. So, it would seem we crossed paths at a number of parties (these, of course, occurred during my 'lost' days - you know, before I was 'found').

I do recall a school dance where I had a bit of a crush going for Pat, and we danced together a bit, but then he asked me to introduce him to my friend Claire - the one with the ;) Not one to be discouraged easily, or alone long (after all, on the eve of this dance I had been without a steady boyfriend for practically forever!), I decided that I would date Pat's friend Jeff - for a while, anyway. After all, there was no sense in waiting around and being lonely!

In 12th grade, my decision-making abilities temporarily flounderd, resulting in me needing to find somewhere to live. Recalling that Pat (who had by this time become a really good 'buddy' of mine) had previously housed friends, I called him up. His dad graciously agreed to rent out one of their extra bedrooms to me...I moved in and got to work (on the tub, the stove, the floors). Thus commenced my career of cleaning up after Pat! During my months residing at Chateau Rowan, my 'crush' bloomed to 'love.' As always, it seemed, my timing was off - Pat had a girlfriend, a steady girlfriend, one he'd been with for over a year. Unable to bear the heartache, I ventured off on my own (well, with a roommate).

Several months later, during another evening of poor decision-making and high alcohol content, I encountered my heart's desire. Under the pulsating of the disco lights, he proclaimed his love for me, promising to find and marry me very soon! Sigh, how romantic...

After a few days with no phone call, I again decided to move on. It wasn't until several months later that I received that much anticipated phone call, "hey Tyler. Wanna come over? I'm havin' a party." Again, I sighed. It must have been nearly midnight before Pat confessed that he was dating someone, but as I grabbed my purse and coat and opened his apartment door he quickly dialed her on the phone and broke up with her on the spot. What a charmer! This was May 5, 1997.

Much to our parents' disappointment, we soon found ourselves expecting a baby. Pat 'proposed' on Valentine's Day of 1998 - I say 'proposed' because I'm not entirely sure putting a ring down on the bed, hollering at the proposee to go make said bed, then coming up behind her and asking, "so, will ya?" is truly a proposal, lol. Especially when he was informed that under no uncertain terms was said proposee to have a diamond ring on her finger BEFORE said baby arrived! Braeden Thomas was born on March 16, 1998 - the day before St. Patrick's Day (which was too bad for Pat, because I know he had hoped to enjoy some green beverages with friends). After a long engagement (my choice, I really wanted to lose all the baby weight), we walked down the aisle and made it legal on July 3, 1999.

There were some tough years, as we each took our turns outgrowing the party phase. No surprise, but it took him a bit longer than it took me, lol. But even through those times, I knew there was no one else in the world who was just right for me. Only Pat. And much to my great joy, he is really learning how to be romantic (check out my Valentine's email from today):

You are the greatest wife, friend, lover and teammate anyone could ask for. You make me want to be a better person everyday.
Thank you for bring me to Jesus. You sacrificed so much to do that for me. I will never be able to completely thank you for that.
I love how great you are with the kids. I love how safe they are with you. I love that you will be there for them when they cry and need a hug. I love that you pour out your love to our kids unconditionally.
I love that you care so much for your friends. I love that you bring your friends and everyone around you closer to God. I love that people look to you for guidence with their walk with God. I love that you sacrifice your own time to give them everything they need.
I love that you love God with all your heart.
I love that you love (respect) me. I love that you love so much.
But most of all I LOVE YOU.

Aw, golly. I am one blessed girl!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentine's Day?

So, tomorrow is the special day, where we all pour out our sappiness on those we love. To be honest, I've never been one to care much about Valentine's. I'm not sure Pat and I have ever gotten one another cards or done anything special for this day. I do like to do a little something for the kids - like little treats and a note in their lunch box, but that's about it. And making all those tiny little Valentine's cards for them to hand out at school is the bane of my existence! I absolutely HATE doing that task!!! Maybe I have issues in the romance department?

I'm just curious, does anyone really 'celebrate' Valentine's Day with their sweetheart or their kids? What's your favorite thing to do? Does anyone ever do something to make you feel extra special? What would you LIKE for someone to do?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Megan, 4 - "That cake is soooooo stylish!" and later, about the very stylish cake ('Bratz' themed, thank-you Safeway) "Mmmmmmm, it's delicious!" (We were celebrating Abbey's birthday last week...)

Shea, 2 - (admiring Ashley Tisdale in a music video) "I lub that gul. Pwetty." - translation: I love that girl, pretty.

I know everyone had something cute, funny, or precious to say this week...unfortunately, I forgot to document it!

Want to see what other little ones are saying?
Visit Mary's page for the TTT carnival.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Yup, it's Monday

Mondays are bitter-sweet. End of the weekend - sad b/c Pat heads back to work, happy b/c Braeden heads back to school. Mostly a home day (no school or activites for the girls, mom, or babes) - happy b/c we can laze around in jammies all day, sad b/c the girls often end up fighting and spending much of the day being disciplined. And then, it's also weigh-in day - happy to see the results of a week of hard work, OR sad to see the result of a week of not caring.

You guessed it, another bad week. But my commitmtent is totally renewed and I'm starting with some serious focus today! Pat and I were browsing photo albums yesterday, and to my delight there was a picture of me at each kids' first birthday - and in each of those pictures I looked, well, not terribly fat (LOL). My faith in myself and my ability to do this is renewed - come on, I've done it 4 times! And it is even a wee bit exciting to think that I will never have to fight for such a BIG weight loss ever again!

To my shame, I will post my results from this morning's weigh-in...
weight: 159.8lbs (that's up 3 from last week; overall down 1.2)
body fat:31%

Can I just say - seriously?! How is it possible to gain 6 pounds in 2 weeks? That is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard of! I can't possibly be THAT glutonous! Do you think maybe it has to do with the weaning? Even if it doesn't, let's just go with that, okay. I was using 1500 calories a day to feed that baby (even though it was apparently not enough for him), so now that I haven't been using it I gained. Just gotta readjust my eating, big time! And I really better get exercising again, 'cause shoot my back has been hurting.

Hopefully by next week someone creative will have suggested a fun name for my Monday weight loss series!!!??? SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Growing Pains

My baby is growing up too fast! When you know (well, are pretty sure) you've had your last baby FOREVER, the mommy clingy factor seems to go up a bit. Christine is giggling at this, I'm sure...

My plan for this last child, sweet baby Kai, was to breastfeed till at least 6 months. It seems, no matter my intentions, my other 4 babies were 'off the boob' (yes, I'm sometimes known for my less-than PC vernacular) somewhere between 4-6 months. Various life circumstances would inevitably create a situation where switching to the bottle was the best option for the family. I never really had a problem with this, until now. Now, with the deep-seated knowledge that I will never hold another baby to my breast, I am mourning the loss.

If you've been around my home for the past (almost) 5 months, you may have noticed that our 2nd born boy child, 5th born overall child is the fussiest baby on the planet um, not entirely content. A million people suggested that I try giving him more bottles (Christine, Pat, mom), but I was adamant, "he doesn't need more to eat! My body is made to feed him, and I know he's being well fed. For goodness sake, the child is over 16 pounds!"

Pat, love of my life, father extraordinaire, had had enough crying to last him 2 lifetimes - so he insisted I must try this bottle thing. So I would nurse, burp, rotate infant to other side, nurse, burp...satisfied that he was satisfied, I'd put him in one of his many large and brightly-colored contraptions for some play time. Cry, cry, cry. So I'd warm up a 4 oz bottle, just knowing that he wasn't really hungry. A few seconds later, once he finished gulping those 4 ozs back and had burped, and was still looking for more, I heated up another 4 oz bottle. This pattern continued for 3 days until I finally conceded - for reasons completely foreign to me, my body was not creating sufficient nutrition for this chubby little guy. Shoot!

By day 2 of the 'breast-breast-bottle-bottle' ordeal, a new Malakai had emerged. Content to play, full of smiles, shrieks, and giggles, mellow...ah, the peace! As I'm sure you are wondering - how long does a feeding take with this ordeal? Well, folks, too darn long! So we've mostly moved on to the bottle - which is filled to 6 oz every time, almost always drained and more added to finish out the feeding. He's happier, Pat's happier, the siblings are even happier, and in many ways I am too. But I am also just so sad... Never again. It's like the end of an era (lol, okay - that may be a bit on the ridiculous dramatic side)! Sigh.

Note the contented little smile...and the double-chin, thigh-to-ankle rolls, wrist fat...LOL!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Just because...

...I haven't posted anything since Tuesday. (Sorry, busy week!)

(Oh dear, I had no idea how messy my living room/office looks! Time to re-organize.)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Thin is IN???

Nah, it's not. Chubby is really more flattering, isn't it? No one wants to wrap their arms around a skinny little stick, anyway. It's good to have a little meat to grab onto...

Two days of birthday cake for Abbey, plus my birthday the week before, plus a few glasses of wine Friday night - add it all up and it spells DISASTER!

Is it wrong of me to just cancel this whole 'blog my weight loss' idea? I could just post an 'after' picture when I finally get there, right?

No - I can't do it! A little shame might do me good - motivate me to work a bit harder (and I'll need to especially now...did I mention that Kai has decided bottles are far more filling and satisfying...which means I am now down to like 21 points per day...and, it seems that one of my challenge buddies has crapped out...and we're moving into birthday season for ALL my kids? Poor me!)

Okay, here goes:
weight - 156.8 lbs (up 3.6 from last week, gasp!); down a total of 4.2 in 3 weeks
30% body fat (up 1% from last week, double gasp!); but still down 1% overall.

Okay, I have been sufficiently shamed. Next week will be better!!! (BTW, I've decided to move this topic over to Mondays since that's my weigh-in day and b/c I am going to be joining in a fun new Tuesday week. Any suggestions for a fun Monday name - that rhymes or has alliteration or some such thing???)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Growing Roots

I like to think that I have a fairly strong faith. That when life tries to get me down I'll turn to God for strength. That my belief in Christ is so deeply planted in my spirit that it will not fade away during difficult times. But thinking is one thing - I'd like to be sure!

This morning, I read the parable of the sower (luke 8:4-15):
While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."
When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'
This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

How do I KNOW if the seeds of God's Word were planted in good soil? Better yet, how can I prevent them from simply 'falling on rocks' or 'growing among thorns?' Is there something I can do to help my faith take root?

I've seen people go either way - for some, life goes crazy and they grow deeper into their relationship with the Lord; for others, they begin to question what they've believed and doubt who God is. So what's the difference? And what can I do to solidify my faith, so that when tough times come (which they will - James 1:2 says WHENEVER you have troubles, not IF you have troubles), my faith won't fall away or get choked up?

I've got some ideas, but what I'm really looking for here is COMMENTS! What do you think can be done to grow a deep faith with strong roots?

Saturday, February 2, 2008

6 long years ago...

February 1, 2002... After a super-fast induced labour, and a whirlwind delivery made by the nurse (because the doctor arrived 6 minutes later), we had the joy of welcoming our first baby girl! Weighing in at 8lbs 9ozs, and 21" long (I think?), the nurses frantically tried to disentangle the umbilical cord from around little miss Abbey's neck - oh wait, it was only a big fat roll! LOL!Happy 6th birthday, Abbey Dawn!
(On a side note, I forgot to post this yesterday b/c her party was today...)