Back in the day (ha, whenever that was!) I used to say that encouragement wasn't one of my spiritual gifts. I used it as an excuse to let moments of offering encouragement slip past unacknowledged. Unbeknownst to the younger me, encouraging others is an integral part of being a leader.
So if encouraging others doesn't come naturally to you, try these pointers.
1. Stock up on blank cards and keep them in several handy places (your office, your home, your purse, your glove box). If someone crosses your mind, take two minutes right then and there to jot a quick note. Don't forget to deliver it or drop it in the mail (the longer you put it off, the more likely you are to forget).
2. Connect on Facebook. Those of us who use Facebook are on there virtually every day, and it takes no more than 30 seconds to click on someone's profile and leave a little note on their wall.
3. Make a habit of the "two minute longer" conversation. Too often we pass by one another and breeze through the standard chatter:
Hi, how are you?
Oh good! And you?
I'm good, too. Thanks.
See ya!
Bye!
This type of exchange with those who work/volunteer with you is likely to come across as unfeeling and uncaring. And your people want to be cared for! Instead, stop, look the person in the eyes, and genuinely ask a question that directly relates to his or her life (for example, if you know the family was away at a soccer tournament last weekend, ask how the team did).
4. Pray for them! While others may never know you've been praying, the very act of lifting them and their needs up to God grows a heart connection between you. Praying for others helps you to be more concerned with their needs, keeps them in your mind, and causes you to feel a deeper love for them.
5. Be intentional with your words. When you speak of the person, speak only good - it will get back to her. When you speak to the person, express appreciation for who he is and what he does.
If you are a leader in any capacity, learning to encourage those you lead is key. This is particularly true for volunteers (but really, even paid staff need to feel valued and appreciated). It took a two long, discouraging years for me to realize that encouragement was a skill I needed to develop in order to succeed as a leader. In my first couple years of leading women's ministry, we underwent numerous team member changes. Once I began intentionally encouraging my team, there was an almost instantaneous shift - for the next four years, we had virtually no volunteers step down! Possible correlation? I think so.
Showing posts with label Building Your Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Building Your Ministry. Show all posts
Monday, May 2, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
What's Your Calling?
I dont know what stirs great passion and restlessness in my soul. How does one figure it out? This question, from Bobbie's heart to my inbox, is a question that keeps many a church member firmly planted in their pews when a call for volunteers is put forth.
In ministry, we need to find strategies to help our volunteer force discover their callings. If we don't, the result will be unhappy volunteers, people serving in ministry areas that drain them, others feeling as though they don't fit anywhere, and a general lack of passion throughout the church.
I once listened to a friend espouse the merits of serving in children's ministry. She spoke of the fun, the connecting, the joy of being a part of a child's faith walk. She concluded her passionate monologue with the words, "As far as I'm concerned, children's ministry is the most important ministry of the church! Without it, we are nothing." By the time she finished, my heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and I was fired up! I was nanoseconds away from signing myself up to teach Sunday school. That woman - she had found her calling! (Thankfully, I stopped and asked God before I jumped in the boat with her. Because children's ministry - while arguable the most vital of all aspects of the church - is so not my calling.)
Unfortunately, the majority of people in the church do not know where their calling lies as this friend did. As leaders in the church, we have a responsibility to help these wandering souls find their passions. Not only to fill all those gaping volunteer holes, but to get the body fully functioning in the way it was intended to.
So, how do we know what we're called to do?!
#1 - What gets you fired up?
Is there a cause that you cannot help but champion? Is there a people group that makes your heart swell with love? What topics of discussion inevitably draw you into debate?
In my college years, no matter how liberal the thinking surrounding me, I was never able to sit quietly while others discussed abortion. It usually came around to, "What about the emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain and suffering that those women will endure for the rest of their lives as a result of the decision to abort?" It always brought debate, sometimes heated, but I could not stop myself! The belief that women who underwent an abortion would suffer beyond their comprehension broke my heart. (Still does.)
I volunteered at our local Pregnancy Care Centre for several years - first as a peer counsellor, then on the crisis line, and later as a parenting coach for young and disadvantaged moms. (Can anyone say "women's ministry?")
#2 - What kinds of things are you good at?
Are there certain tasks you really enjoy? A particular type of work? When in a crowd, do you find yourself stepping up as a leader? Offering creative ideas? More willing to go with the flow? Wanting to be hands on? Do you prefer to work alone or as part of a team?
I remember a science project in seventh grade... We were put in pairs and encouraged to come up with anything we wanted. More than half the class created homemade volcanoes. But I wanted to do something different, something unique, revolutionary even. We (okay, mostly I) created a huge maze and trained my hamster to go through it. Along with one other pair, we won scholarships to attend the provincial science fair.
I recall a sixth grade writing project... There had been an earthquake somewhere in the world. We were to write a short story about an earthquake in our town. I went to my mom's workplace after school for weeks, typing out my story on the receptionist's typewriter. The result was a 10-page work of fiction that jumped scenes akin to a soap opera.
I never was satisfied with just doing "enough." I disdained the idea of simply doing what everyone else was doing. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could have possibly found contentment in following someone else's lead. And, there was that minor discovery about how much I completely loved writing...
#3 - What are your spiritual gifts?
Spiritual gifts are more than just personality type, communication style, talents, or abilities. (Although, discovering those things about yourself will also really help in figuring out your calling!) Spiritual gifts are unique to those belonging to God's family. When we accept Christ, He gives us gifts that fit our callings, through His Holy Spirit. Many of those gifts are fitting with the skills and interests we already have, but some of those gifts we will see develop over time, as we grow in our relationship with God.
Even as a young child, I was considered the mother hen of the group. I think that was their nice way of telling me I was bossy! But I simply loved organizing things and people and schedules. I would help my friends sort their binders and choose their course options. My administrative gifts were evident early on.
You know that bossy thing, though? It was a problem (at least for other people). But my motives were well-intentioned. I wanted everyone to be their best, to do their best, to give their all. It made me mad when people didn't. It has only been in the past few years that I learned new ways - better ways - to encourage people. It was through practice and experience that my gift of exhortation was discovered.
#4 - What are your experiences?
God does not waste our pain and struggles. Not ever. If we let Him, He will use every difficult thing we have ever walked through to draw others to Him.
Is there something in your life, something that you have survived, that you just know in your gut must have a purpose?! Chances are, it does.
Those who run women's shelters are often women who were previously abused. If you are walking through a difficult marriage or painful divorce, chances are the only people you really want to talk to about it are others who have been on that same path. Support groups and recovery groups are usually led by those who share that experience. Without the willingness of those people, we would have nowhere to turn when life's trials begin to beat us down.
Perhaps God is calling you to be willing...
#5 - Sometimes you just gotta try!
There is no perfect formula to uncovering the work that God has called you to. Some people just know. Other have no clue! While I believe it is vitally important for us to serve within our gifts (that is to say, serve in ways that use our gifts and fuel our passions), sometimes the only way to figure it out is by trial and error.
Those things you find joy in, you feel challenged but not overwhelmed in, and you look forward to - they are probably bringing you closer to that calling. Those things that drain you, make you feel discouraged and disgruntled, that you dread - they are not likely to be taking you in the right direction. It's okay to try something and, when you realize it's not where you should be, to let it go.
I'm hoping my mom will share her story of "just trying" something out in the comments. (Hint, hint.)
Do you know what your calling is/ where your passions lie? If not, are you ready to find out?
* Pretty much this whole post has its basis in 1 Corinthians 12, so check it out.
In ministry, we need to find strategies to help our volunteer force discover their callings. If we don't, the result will be unhappy volunteers, people serving in ministry areas that drain them, others feeling as though they don't fit anywhere, and a general lack of passion throughout the church.
I once listened to a friend espouse the merits of serving in children's ministry. She spoke of the fun, the connecting, the joy of being a part of a child's faith walk. She concluded her passionate monologue with the words, "As far as I'm concerned, children's ministry is the most important ministry of the church! Without it, we are nothing." By the time she finished, my heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and I was fired up! I was nanoseconds away from signing myself up to teach Sunday school. That woman - she had found her calling! (Thankfully, I stopped and asked God before I jumped in the boat with her. Because children's ministry - while arguable the most vital of all aspects of the church - is so not my calling.)
Unfortunately, the majority of people in the church do not know where their calling lies as this friend did. As leaders in the church, we have a responsibility to help these wandering souls find their passions. Not only to fill all those gaping volunteer holes, but to get the body fully functioning in the way it was intended to.
So, how do we know what we're called to do?!
#1 - What gets you fired up?
Is there a cause that you cannot help but champion? Is there a people group that makes your heart swell with love? What topics of discussion inevitably draw you into debate?
In my college years, no matter how liberal the thinking surrounding me, I was never able to sit quietly while others discussed abortion. It usually came around to, "What about the emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain and suffering that those women will endure for the rest of their lives as a result of the decision to abort?" It always brought debate, sometimes heated, but I could not stop myself! The belief that women who underwent an abortion would suffer beyond their comprehension broke my heart. (Still does.)
I volunteered at our local Pregnancy Care Centre for several years - first as a peer counsellor, then on the crisis line, and later as a parenting coach for young and disadvantaged moms. (Can anyone say "women's ministry?")
#2 - What kinds of things are you good at?
Are there certain tasks you really enjoy? A particular type of work? When in a crowd, do you find yourself stepping up as a leader? Offering creative ideas? More willing to go with the flow? Wanting to be hands on? Do you prefer to work alone or as part of a team?
I remember a science project in seventh grade... We were put in pairs and encouraged to come up with anything we wanted. More than half the class created homemade volcanoes. But I wanted to do something different, something unique, revolutionary even. We (okay, mostly I) created a huge maze and trained my hamster to go through it. Along with one other pair, we won scholarships to attend the provincial science fair.
I recall a sixth grade writing project... There had been an earthquake somewhere in the world. We were to write a short story about an earthquake in our town. I went to my mom's workplace after school for weeks, typing out my story on the receptionist's typewriter. The result was a 10-page work of fiction that jumped scenes akin to a soap opera.
I never was satisfied with just doing "enough." I disdained the idea of simply doing what everyone else was doing. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could have possibly found contentment in following someone else's lead. And, there was that minor discovery about how much I completely loved writing...
#3 - What are your spiritual gifts?
Spiritual gifts are more than just personality type, communication style, talents, or abilities. (Although, discovering those things about yourself will also really help in figuring out your calling!) Spiritual gifts are unique to those belonging to God's family. When we accept Christ, He gives us gifts that fit our callings, through His Holy Spirit. Many of those gifts are fitting with the skills and interests we already have, but some of those gifts we will see develop over time, as we grow in our relationship with God.
Even as a young child, I was considered the mother hen of the group. I think that was their nice way of telling me I was bossy! But I simply loved organizing things and people and schedules. I would help my friends sort their binders and choose their course options. My administrative gifts were evident early on.
You know that bossy thing, though? It was a problem (at least for other people). But my motives were well-intentioned. I wanted everyone to be their best, to do their best, to give their all. It made me mad when people didn't. It has only been in the past few years that I learned new ways - better ways - to encourage people. It was through practice and experience that my gift of exhortation was discovered.
#4 - What are your experiences?
God does not waste our pain and struggles. Not ever. If we let Him, He will use every difficult thing we have ever walked through to draw others to Him.
Is there something in your life, something that you have survived, that you just know in your gut must have a purpose?! Chances are, it does.
Those who run women's shelters are often women who were previously abused. If you are walking through a difficult marriage or painful divorce, chances are the only people you really want to talk to about it are others who have been on that same path. Support groups and recovery groups are usually led by those who share that experience. Without the willingness of those people, we would have nowhere to turn when life's trials begin to beat us down.
Perhaps God is calling you to be willing...
#5 - Sometimes you just gotta try!
There is no perfect formula to uncovering the work that God has called you to. Some people just know. Other have no clue! While I believe it is vitally important for us to serve within our gifts (that is to say, serve in ways that use our gifts and fuel our passions), sometimes the only way to figure it out is by trial and error.
Those things you find joy in, you feel challenged but not overwhelmed in, and you look forward to - they are probably bringing you closer to that calling. Those things that drain you, make you feel discouraged and disgruntled, that you dread - they are not likely to be taking you in the right direction. It's okay to try something and, when you realize it's not where you should be, to let it go.
I'm hoping my mom will share her story of "just trying" something out in the comments. (Hint, hint.)
Do you know what your calling is/ where your passions lie? If not, are you ready to find out?
* Pretty much this whole post has its basis in 1 Corinthians 12, so check it out.
Labels:
Building Your Ministry,
ministry,
Q/A,
spritual gifts
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Women's Ministry that Wins
A (long) while ago, I started a series on here called "Building Your Ministry," in order to share what God has taught me about "doing ministry well" over the years. Until our family relocation nine months ago, I spent just over six years as leader (and founder) of the women's ministry in our church. My leadership journey was not without its bumps and bruises, but my prayer is that other women in ministry will be able to benefit from both my mistakes and my successes.
I believe that, eventually, I will write a book on this subject. It's one of the two big ideas that I find constantly rattling around in my head. I also believe that, as one facet of my writing/speaking ministry, I would like to do some consulting for women's ministry teams.
Because this little blog series has been so sadly neglected over the past few months, I find myself re-evaluating and re-thinking. But rather than come up with my own "plan," I wanted to ask YOU what you think I should do. So here are a few questions for ya:
1. Do you like the name "Women's Ministry that Wins?" (If not, I am wide open to suggestions - titles are not my forte.)
2. Would you like to see posts on this subject on my blog? (If not, do you think I should start a new blog solely for this topic?)
3. If I am putting up WMW (that looks catchy, doesn't it?!) posts on this blog, should they be scheduled? As in: weekly on a certain day of the week, monthly, etc.?
As an added bonus question, while we're on the subject of this blog and the content here:
4. What are your favourite kind of posts to read here? (If you can think of the titles of a couple of your faves, that would help, too!)
Thank-you, friends! You have no idea how valuable your feedback is to me. After all, you're the ones who encourage me to keep on writing out my random ramblings. So what you think and what you like really matters to me. :)
Building Your Ministry, part 1 - What Your Team Really Needs from You
Part 2a - How to Love on Your Team
Part 2b - continued
Related Posts
I believe that, eventually, I will write a book on this subject. It's one of the two big ideas that I find constantly rattling around in my head. I also believe that, as one facet of my writing/speaking ministry, I would like to do some consulting for women's ministry teams.
Because this little blog series has been so sadly neglected over the past few months, I find myself re-evaluating and re-thinking. But rather than come up with my own "plan," I wanted to ask YOU what you think I should do. So here are a few questions for ya:
1. Do you like the name "Women's Ministry that Wins?" (If not, I am wide open to suggestions - titles are not my forte.)
2. Would you like to see posts on this subject on my blog? (If not, do you think I should start a new blog solely for this topic?)
3. If I am putting up WMW (that looks catchy, doesn't it?!) posts on this blog, should they be scheduled? As in: weekly on a certain day of the week, monthly, etc.?
As an added bonus question, while we're on the subject of this blog and the content here:
4. What are your favourite kind of posts to read here? (If you can think of the titles of a couple of your faves, that would help, too!)
Thank-you, friends! You have no idea how valuable your feedback is to me. After all, you're the ones who encourage me to keep on writing out my random ramblings. So what you think and what you like really matters to me. :)
Building Your Ministry, part 1 - What Your Team Really Needs from You
Part 2a - How to Love on Your Team
Part 2b - continued
Related Posts
Labels:
blogging,
Building Your Ministry,
ministry
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Don't be a Moses
I am reading Exodus right now, and it's definitely one of my favourite parts of the Bible. As I read I can envision scenes from "The Prince of Egypt" playing in my mind. Of course, those images are overlapping with visions of Charleton Heston standing on the mountain, beard waving in the breeze, holding two tablets of stone in his arms.
Rather than allowing myself to be carried away by the story (as I usually am reading the great history laid out in the Old Testament), I am trying to take things more slowly - a couple chapters per day - in an effort to glean more wisdom from the pages. Today, I am reflecting on Moses' calling from God and his response. (Below is my paraphrase of the whole situation.)
- Moses sees a bush on fire that is not burning up. The bush (the Lord) speaks to Moses, telling him that he has been chosen by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into freedom.
- Moses says, "Who am I, that I should do this?"
- God reassures Moses that He will be with Moses the whole time.
- Moses asks, "Well, what if the Israelites don't believe You sent me?"
- God tells Moses to say "I AM sent me."
- Moses then asks, "Well, what if the Egyptians don't believe You sent me?"
- God gives Moses miraculous powers AND assures Moses that He will reach out His hand over Egypt and they will recognize the Lord.
- Then Moses tells God, "But God, I'm no good at public speaking!"
- God reassures Moses that He will put the words right in Moses' mouth.
- Next, Moses whines and asks God to pleeeeease send someone else.
Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses. (Exodus 4:14a)
By the time I arrived to that verse, my anger was burning against Moses! I was so annoyed with him, thinking, "Moses, you dufus. He is GOD! Stop questioning Him. Just do what He says and trust that He will lead you every step. Sheesh, dude!"
And then I felt a quiet question whisper in my heart. How much time do I waste questioning God and His call? How far do I push with my lack of faith and trust? Do I bring the Lord to a place of anger or frustration before I finally listen and obey?
I can think of two areas where I'm pretty sure I've provoked God's ire...
God called me to write this book at least a couple years before I wrote the post about it. Part of the writing, I'm sure, is for me and me alone. While there have been huge improvements in my struggle with anger, there continue to be days where I feel as though I've fallen right back to the beginning. I believe that God's full deliverance will come once I have finished what He asked me to do. I'm still (slowly, and at times barely) working on it.
When we moved, I had a strong sense of awareness that God was calling me to a new ministry. A shift of focus in my ministry to women. I think that God knew I would not be able to let go of WOW to do something new (but would instead try to do it all). We arrived here and I knew that I was supposed to make my ministry focus threefold: writing, speaking, and ministry consulting. That was eight months ago.
Man, I am burning in anger at myself! What happened to my desire to serve? When did I become such a wuss? Why in the world have I been holding off on doing what I believe God has called me to do? Fear. Insecurity. Loneliness. Laziness.
Taking the BLAST course has been instrumental in building my confidence in my calling and teaching me the practical steps to take in order to move forward. And signing up for She Speaks this year has given me the kick-start I desperately needed to actually take those steps. I am ready to stop annoying myself and God by acting like Moses. Instead, I want to be an Isaiah.
Here am I, Lord. Send me! (Isaiah 6:8b)
How about you? Is there an area in your life where you've been a Moses lately?
P.S. If you think BLAST will help you launch your speaking and writing ministry, Shannon is taking applications for the fall class now. If you sign up, let her know I referred you - I get a little discount on my course costs if you sign up because of me. :)
Rather than allowing myself to be carried away by the story (as I usually am reading the great history laid out in the Old Testament), I am trying to take things more slowly - a couple chapters per day - in an effort to glean more wisdom from the pages. Today, I am reflecting on Moses' calling from God and his response. (Below is my paraphrase of the whole situation.)
- Moses sees a bush on fire that is not burning up. The bush (the Lord) speaks to Moses, telling him that he has been chosen by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into freedom.
- Moses says, "Who am I, that I should do this?"
- God reassures Moses that He will be with Moses the whole time.
- Moses asks, "Well, what if the Israelites don't believe You sent me?"
- God tells Moses to say "I AM sent me."
- Moses then asks, "Well, what if the Egyptians don't believe You sent me?"
- God gives Moses miraculous powers AND assures Moses that He will reach out His hand over Egypt and they will recognize the Lord.
- Then Moses tells God, "But God, I'm no good at public speaking!"
- God reassures Moses that He will put the words right in Moses' mouth.
- Next, Moses whines and asks God to pleeeeease send someone else.
Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses. (Exodus 4:14a)
By the time I arrived to that verse, my anger was burning against Moses! I was so annoyed with him, thinking, "Moses, you dufus. He is GOD! Stop questioning Him. Just do what He says and trust that He will lead you every step. Sheesh, dude!"
And then I felt a quiet question whisper in my heart. How much time do I waste questioning God and His call? How far do I push with my lack of faith and trust? Do I bring the Lord to a place of anger or frustration before I finally listen and obey?
I can think of two areas where I'm pretty sure I've provoked God's ire...
God called me to write this book at least a couple years before I wrote the post about it. Part of the writing, I'm sure, is for me and me alone. While there have been huge improvements in my struggle with anger, there continue to be days where I feel as though I've fallen right back to the beginning. I believe that God's full deliverance will come once I have finished what He asked me to do. I'm still (slowly, and at times barely) working on it.
When we moved, I had a strong sense of awareness that God was calling me to a new ministry. A shift of focus in my ministry to women. I think that God knew I would not be able to let go of WOW to do something new (but would instead try to do it all). We arrived here and I knew that I was supposed to make my ministry focus threefold: writing, speaking, and ministry consulting. That was eight months ago.
Man, I am burning in anger at myself! What happened to my desire to serve? When did I become such a wuss? Why in the world have I been holding off on doing what I believe God has called me to do? Fear. Insecurity. Loneliness. Laziness.
Taking the BLAST course has been instrumental in building my confidence in my calling and teaching me the practical steps to take in order to move forward. And signing up for She Speaks this year has given me the kick-start I desperately needed to actually take those steps. I am ready to stop annoying myself and God by acting like Moses. Instead, I want to be an Isaiah.
Here am I, Lord. Send me! (Isaiah 6:8b)
How about you? Is there an area in your life where you've been a Moses lately?
P.S. If you think BLAST will help you launch your speaking and writing ministry, Shannon is taking applications for the fall class now. If you sign up, let her know I referred you - I get a little discount on my course costs if you sign up because of me. :)
Labels:
BLAST,
Building Your Ministry,
His Word,
ministry,
my walk,
She Speaks,
speaking,
writing
Monday, July 19, 2010
Ever Wonder About Marketing? - con't
For this first part of this post, click here.
We left off with a question hanging in the air. Should a speaker/writer be promoting herself, or should she just leave that up to God?
As you know, I am a big proponent of people serving in their area of giftedness. I absolutely believe that every Christian MUST learn what their spiritual gifts are and then do all that can be done to develop those gifts and serve God with them. Romans 12:6-9 says, We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
We are instructed to use our gifts and use them well! (Luke 12:48 CEV) To be confident in our calling. (2 Peter 1:10) To invest wisely with our talents, not burying them. (Matthew 25:14-28)
Through these Scriptures, the counsel of the Holy Spirit, and the teaching of others (Shannon Ethridge through BLAST, Proverbs 31 Ministries through She Speaks, to name a couple), my perspective on marketing has slowly been changing. I am realizing that by not doing the self-marketing required to move ahead in this ministry, I am:
#1 - Not using my gifts as well as I could be;
#2 - Not totally confident in my calling or in God's ability (and desire) to use me;
#3 - To some degree, burying my talents.
While I continue to believe it's important not to become prideful (that is, being proud of MY gifts rather than thankful to the Giver), I am also learning that I have some serious obligations in this ministry. An obligation to other women (women who may be walking through some of the same stuff I've experienced) - to share with them that there is a Hope of something beyond their current circumstances. An obligation to myself - to be the very best I can be, not selling myself short or giving into fear and insecurity. And most importantly, an obligation to God - to ensure that He gets all the glory for how my messed up life has anything beautiful in it. After all, I have been entrusted with this life and these life experiences.
All this to answer my own question from the last post - Do I agree or disagree with the statement, "If God wants me to be marketed and get published, He will make it happen?" My answer is yes and no.
Yes - God can and will fulfill His will in my life.
No - I cannot simply sit back and wait for it to happen.
God and I, we're in a partnership in this thing (life, ministry). He can do it all without me if He wants to, but that wouldn't build our relationship or grow me spiritually. He wants me to be an active and willing participant in His work.
So, what do you think? Has your opinion changed from the last post?
And is there something you feel God is calling you to do that will further your ministry for Him and His glory?
Just a quick note to let you know that there's going to be some fun and excitement here this week. While I am off having much fun and excitement camping with my mom and kids, I've got some special things planned for you. There will be a couple "gooders" pulled up from the archives, but even better - TWO AMAZING GUEST POSTS! You are going to love these girls as much as I do, I just know it! I promise that you will be ending your week with a full heart and misty-eyes...
We left off with a question hanging in the air. Should a speaker/writer be promoting herself, or should she just leave that up to God?
As you know, I am a big proponent of people serving in their area of giftedness. I absolutely believe that every Christian MUST learn what their spiritual gifts are and then do all that can be done to develop those gifts and serve God with them. Romans 12:6-9 says, We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
We are instructed to use our gifts and use them well! (Luke 12:48 CEV) To be confident in our calling. (2 Peter 1:10) To invest wisely with our talents, not burying them. (Matthew 25:14-28)
Through these Scriptures, the counsel of the Holy Spirit, and the teaching of others (Shannon Ethridge through BLAST, Proverbs 31 Ministries through She Speaks, to name a couple), my perspective on marketing has slowly been changing. I am realizing that by not doing the self-marketing required to move ahead in this ministry, I am:
#1 - Not using my gifts as well as I could be;
#2 - Not totally confident in my calling or in God's ability (and desire) to use me;
#3 - To some degree, burying my talents.
While I continue to believe it's important not to become prideful (that is, being proud of MY gifts rather than thankful to the Giver), I am also learning that I have some serious obligations in this ministry. An obligation to other women (women who may be walking through some of the same stuff I've experienced) - to share with them that there is a Hope of something beyond their current circumstances. An obligation to myself - to be the very best I can be, not selling myself short or giving into fear and insecurity. And most importantly, an obligation to God - to ensure that He gets all the glory for how my messed up life has anything beautiful in it. After all, I have been entrusted with this life and these life experiences.
All this to answer my own question from the last post - Do I agree or disagree with the statement, "If God wants me to be marketed and get published, He will make it happen?" My answer is yes and no.
Yes - God can and will fulfill His will in my life.
No - I cannot simply sit back and wait for it to happen.
God and I, we're in a partnership in this thing (life, ministry). He can do it all without me if He wants to, but that wouldn't build our relationship or grow me spiritually. He wants me to be an active and willing participant in His work.
So, what do you think? Has your opinion changed from the last post?
And is there something you feel God is calling you to do that will further your ministry for Him and His glory?
Just a quick note to let you know that there's going to be some fun and excitement here this week. While I am off having much fun and excitement camping with my mom and kids, I've got some special things planned for you. There will be a couple "gooders" pulled up from the archives, but even better - TWO AMAZING GUEST POSTS! You are going to love these girls as much as I do, I just know it! I promise that you will be ending your week with a full heart and misty-eyes...
Labels:
BLAST,
Building Your Ministry,
His Word,
ministry,
my walk,
She Speaks,
speaking,
writing
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Are You Burying Your Talents? Or Do You Even Know What They Are?
I am surprised by the number of Christians who have no idea what their spiritual gifts are! (This is coming from a girl who LOVES to fill out quizzes, personality tests, and so on. I mean, don't we all love to do those? Or is it just me?) We all seem to be aware that God gives us certain gifts when we accept Christ, but many believers (even many long-time believers) don't seem to be too interested in finding out what they are. Or perhaps we are interested, but no one has given us the tools to figure it out!
I believe that it is vital for us to try to understand our gifts (to the best that we can in our limited human knowledge), so that we can ensure we are using them to serve in Kingdom purposes.
To that end, I have a link to a spiritual gifts inventory for you. :) As far as I can tell, this online one seems to be the most similar to the paper one that is typically used in evangelical churches. If you do go complete this inventory (whether to discover some of your gifts for the first time, or to re-evaluate after a few years and see which ones are showing up stronger over time), I'd love for you to post your top few (or several) in the comments.
In fitting with my series on Building Your Ministry, I would also strongly recommend you have everyone on your team do a spiritual gifts inventory of some sort! You will find that your team will be empowered by the knowledge of their gifts, and both you and they will be able to evaluate if they are serving in the right area. Nothing is worse than working outside of your area of gifting - that kind of experience makes a girl feel utterly discouraged and worn down by her ministry. Wait, one thing is worse - that would be not using those gifts for the glory of God at all!
Before you complete the survey, here are a few things to think about:
- In school, how did you BEST complete multiple choice exams? Did you do best going quickly and with your gut instinct, or slowly and thoughtfully? It’s best to view this in the same way. (I told one friend to go with her gut – like I tend to – and her results were fairly skewed, but when she went back and did it her way – methodically – the results made much more sense for her!)
- Are you an “all or nothing” girl? Or do you tend to be more “middle of the road?” (Some of us will have a few gifts that we score VERY high on and a few that are VERY low, while others will see less of a range between the top and bottom numbers. For example, if I recall correctly my top score was 29 or something ridiculous! My best friend’s top score was 15. The score does not measure the strength or intensity of the gift! The actual number does not matter as it compares to others; only use the numbers to gauge which of your gifts appears to be strongest and which are weakest. What matters is – which gifts come in the top half of your scoring?)
- Over time, our spiritual gifts may appear to change. The truth is that God imparts every spiritual gift He intends for us the moment we accept Christ. Our gifts remain for our lifetime. BUT, we may not discover some of our gifts at first. It is through relationship with God and serving Him that we grow spiritually and develop the gifts He has given to us. (An example from my life: Six years ago I completed a spiritual gifts inventory and found exhortation and pastoring to be smack dab in the middle. This led me to think I wasn’t really gifted in those areas. Now, they are among my top few. I believe that God gave those gifts to me, but until I spent some time in ministry using those gifts and developing them, they didn’t show up as strongly. You might find that evangelism sits in the middle for you, and if you’re like me you’ll breathe a sigh of relief! LOL! But then God may put a few people in your path who need to know God… Do the questionnaire again in a few years and you may find that evangelism is higher.)
Well, go ahead! What are you waiting for? I assure you, reading the list of spiritual gifts beside your name will be encouraging, inspiring, and FUN!
I believe that it is vital for us to try to understand our gifts (to the best that we can in our limited human knowledge), so that we can ensure we are using them to serve in Kingdom purposes.
To that end, I have a link to a spiritual gifts inventory for you. :) As far as I can tell, this online one seems to be the most similar to the paper one that is typically used in evangelical churches. If you do go complete this inventory (whether to discover some of your gifts for the first time, or to re-evaluate after a few years and see which ones are showing up stronger over time), I'd love for you to post your top few (or several) in the comments.
In fitting with my series on Building Your Ministry, I would also strongly recommend you have everyone on your team do a spiritual gifts inventory of some sort! You will find that your team will be empowered by the knowledge of their gifts, and both you and they will be able to evaluate if they are serving in the right area. Nothing is worse than working outside of your area of gifting - that kind of experience makes a girl feel utterly discouraged and worn down by her ministry. Wait, one thing is worse - that would be not using those gifts for the glory of God at all!
Before you complete the survey, here are a few things to think about:
- In school, how did you BEST complete multiple choice exams? Did you do best going quickly and with your gut instinct, or slowly and thoughtfully? It’s best to view this in the same way. (I told one friend to go with her gut – like I tend to – and her results were fairly skewed, but when she went back and did it her way – methodically – the results made much more sense for her!)
- Are you an “all or nothing” girl? Or do you tend to be more “middle of the road?” (Some of us will have a few gifts that we score VERY high on and a few that are VERY low, while others will see less of a range between the top and bottom numbers. For example, if I recall correctly my top score was 29 or something ridiculous! My best friend’s top score was 15. The score does not measure the strength or intensity of the gift! The actual number does not matter as it compares to others; only use the numbers to gauge which of your gifts appears to be strongest and which are weakest. What matters is – which gifts come in the top half of your scoring?)
- Over time, our spiritual gifts may appear to change. The truth is that God imparts every spiritual gift He intends for us the moment we accept Christ. Our gifts remain for our lifetime. BUT, we may not discover some of our gifts at first. It is through relationship with God and serving Him that we grow spiritually and develop the gifts He has given to us. (An example from my life: Six years ago I completed a spiritual gifts inventory and found exhortation and pastoring to be smack dab in the middle. This led me to think I wasn’t really gifted in those areas. Now, they are among my top few. I believe that God gave those gifts to me, but until I spent some time in ministry using those gifts and developing them, they didn’t show up as strongly. You might find that evangelism sits in the middle for you, and if you’re like me you’ll breathe a sigh of relief! LOL! But then God may put a few people in your path who need to know God… Do the questionnaire again in a few years and you may find that evangelism is higher.)
Well, go ahead! What are you waiting for? I assure you, reading the list of spiritual gifts beside your name will be encouraging, inspiring, and FUN!
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17
Labels:
Building Your Ministry,
His Word,
ministry,
my walk,
spritual gifts
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Building Your Ministry, part two (continued) - How to Love on Your Team
If it feels like we're starting in the middle of a post, it's because we are! A really, really long time ago, I addressed point #1 - invest time. As promised, we'll tackle points #2 and #3 here (if I can remember what they are!).
Part 1
Part 2a
In developing a new ministry or in building up a ministry that's already running, a team of committed volunteers (and/or staff) are needed to make things happen. Finding people to join your team may not be as difficult as you think (but that's for another post on another day); but keeping people committed to the team, the ministry, you (their leader), and of course to the work God is doing through the ministry - well that task, it takes hard work!
How to make your team feel loved...
#2 - Pay Attention:
If you are a wife, you already know how important this is. Because the first time your husband does NOT pay attention to the details of life, it hurts! Has your man ever forgotten your wedding anniversary or your birthday? Ouch! Women like to know that they matter. Don't we?
One quick and easy way to show your team that you are paying attention to their needs is to spend five minutes putting their important dates into your calendar - birthdays, anniversaries, vacation days, surgeries, kids' milestones (such as weddings or graduations). Then, let your team know you remember these dates. It only takes a minute to send a greeting card by email. Sometimes, you may want to do something a little "bigger" and get your team in on purchasing a joint gift or throwing a party (big # birthdays and anniversaries, baby showers, etc.).
It's also important to pay attention to what's happening in the lives of your team. At the end of the meeting, when you take prayer requests (isn't that always the way?!), and someone on your team asks for prayer for a sick child or marital struggles, don't just pray for it and forget about it. Check in with her in a few days or a couple weeks (depending on how long-term the need may be) and ask how it's going. Let her know you've been praying. That small act of remembering her needs will make her feel absolutely treasured by you!
As a leader, it's also vital to learn specifics about the women on your team. What is her love language (in other words, what's the best way you can encourage her in her own language)? What are her spiritual gifts (and do you have her serving in a role that's using them)? What are her strengths, skills, and abilities (how can you help her develop these further)? What are her limitations (and how can you help her overcome them or work around them)?
#3 - Listen AND Hear
A new friend of mine is involved with the women's ministry of her church. She is passionate about meeting the needs of the women and drawing them to Christ, and she is chalk full of fantastic ideas on how to make that happen in the particular area of ministry that she serves in. God has called her to this ministry, of that I have no doubt!
My friend, though, is dangerously close to calling it quits and stepping away for good.
You see, when she voices her ideas in meetings, she is discouraged by the "old hats" on the team. They always have a reason why her idea just won't work. Half the time they won't even let her get the whole idea out before they shut her down and move on. When she sends an email, IF she actually receives a reply from her team lead (it's about a 50-50 split), the standard reply is, "Thanks for your input."
How to listen:
- Make eye contact.
- Let the person complete their thought.
- Even if your gut reaction is to reject the idea, take time to consider it.
- Reply to emails promptly.
- Use more words than necessary (while many of us are "get to the point" kinda gals, more often than not our team feels shut down and/or rejected by brief and abrupt conversations or emails).
- Always thank people for being willing to share ideas.
- Remember to whom the credit goes for a great suggestion (record it in your meeting minutes, so everyone knows who is responsible for innovative thinking).
How to HEAR:
- Always follow-up! If you have said you will consider an idea, make sure you get back to your team member once you've made a decision.
- Ask, "What do you think?" Then actually pay attention to what she thinks.
- Wherever possible, allow your team members the freedom to make their own decisions in ministry. (Experiencing our own successes builds confidence. Experiencing our own struggles builds character.)
- Remember that ministry is not just about the women in the congregation and community. As a ministry leader, your greatest ministry is to your team. Your job is to meet their need for validation, mentoring, and encouragement!
- Don't forget that God placed each woman on your team with you for your growth, too! Each of them is there to bring wisdom and discernment. Overlooking their thoughts, feelings, and ideas could just as easily be ignoring where God is leading you!
Want to build a leadership team for your ministry that endures? A team that sticks together? A team that is sold out for your ministry's vision? A team that is loyal and steadfast? Invest time in each member of your team, pay attention to the small details, and learn to listen AND hear what they have to say.
Coming next in the series - part three, A Leader's Heart.
Part 1
Part 2a
In developing a new ministry or in building up a ministry that's already running, a team of committed volunteers (and/or staff) are needed to make things happen. Finding people to join your team may not be as difficult as you think (but that's for another post on another day); but keeping people committed to the team, the ministry, you (their leader), and of course to the work God is doing through the ministry - well that task, it takes hard work!
How to make your team feel loved...
#2 - Pay Attention:
If you are a wife, you already know how important this is. Because the first time your husband does NOT pay attention to the details of life, it hurts! Has your man ever forgotten your wedding anniversary or your birthday? Ouch! Women like to know that they matter. Don't we?
One quick and easy way to show your team that you are paying attention to their needs is to spend five minutes putting their important dates into your calendar - birthdays, anniversaries, vacation days, surgeries, kids' milestones (such as weddings or graduations). Then, let your team know you remember these dates. It only takes a minute to send a greeting card by email. Sometimes, you may want to do something a little "bigger" and get your team in on purchasing a joint gift or throwing a party (big # birthdays and anniversaries, baby showers, etc.).
It's also important to pay attention to what's happening in the lives of your team. At the end of the meeting, when you take prayer requests (isn't that always the way?!), and someone on your team asks for prayer for a sick child or marital struggles, don't just pray for it and forget about it. Check in with her in a few days or a couple weeks (depending on how long-term the need may be) and ask how it's going. Let her know you've been praying. That small act of remembering her needs will make her feel absolutely treasured by you!
As a leader, it's also vital to learn specifics about the women on your team. What is her love language (in other words, what's the best way you can encourage her in her own language)? What are her spiritual gifts (and do you have her serving in a role that's using them)? What are her strengths, skills, and abilities (how can you help her develop these further)? What are her limitations (and how can you help her overcome them or work around them)?
#3 - Listen AND Hear
A new friend of mine is involved with the women's ministry of her church. She is passionate about meeting the needs of the women and drawing them to Christ, and she is chalk full of fantastic ideas on how to make that happen in the particular area of ministry that she serves in. God has called her to this ministry, of that I have no doubt!
My friend, though, is dangerously close to calling it quits and stepping away for good.
You see, when she voices her ideas in meetings, she is discouraged by the "old hats" on the team. They always have a reason why her idea just won't work. Half the time they won't even let her get the whole idea out before they shut her down and move on. When she sends an email, IF she actually receives a reply from her team lead (it's about a 50-50 split), the standard reply is, "Thanks for your input."
How to listen:
- Make eye contact.
- Let the person complete their thought.
- Even if your gut reaction is to reject the idea, take time to consider it.
- Reply to emails promptly.
- Use more words than necessary (while many of us are "get to the point" kinda gals, more often than not our team feels shut down and/or rejected by brief and abrupt conversations or emails).
- Always thank people for being willing to share ideas.
- Remember to whom the credit goes for a great suggestion (record it in your meeting minutes, so everyone knows who is responsible for innovative thinking).
How to HEAR:
- Always follow-up! If you have said you will consider an idea, make sure you get back to your team member once you've made a decision.
- Ask, "What do you think?" Then actually pay attention to what she thinks.
- Wherever possible, allow your team members the freedom to make their own decisions in ministry. (Experiencing our own successes builds confidence. Experiencing our own struggles builds character.)
- Remember that ministry is not just about the women in the congregation and community. As a ministry leader, your greatest ministry is to your team. Your job is to meet their need for validation, mentoring, and encouragement!
- Don't forget that God placed each woman on your team with you for your growth, too! Each of them is there to bring wisdom and discernment. Overlooking their thoughts, feelings, and ideas could just as easily be ignoring where God is leading you!
Want to build a leadership team for your ministry that endures? A team that sticks together? A team that is sold out for your ministry's vision? A team that is loyal and steadfast? Invest time in each member of your team, pay attention to the small details, and learn to listen AND hear what they have to say.
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ~Romans 12:10 (NLT)
Coming next in the series - part three, A Leader's Heart.
Labels:
Building Your Ministry,
ministry,
my walk,
writing
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Building Your Ministry, part two - How to Love on Your Team
Click to read part one - What Your Team Really Needs from You.
In developing a new ministry or in building up a ministry that's already running, a team of committed volunteers (and/or staff) are needed to make things happen. Finding people to join your team may not be as difficult as you think (but that's for another post on another day); but keeping people committed to the team, the ministry, you (their leader), and of course to the work God is doing through the ministry - well that task, it takes hard work!
I hope that my story (in part one) convinced you that the key to keeping your team committed is to make them feel loved. But those of us who are married, we have surely learned some difficult lessons about how difficult it can be to make someone feel loved (even if we do truly love that person).
You see, loving someone is not about me having feelings of love towards that person. Rather, it is about me finding ways to show love to that person - ways that he or she understand and feel my love.
I believe there are three keys to making your team members feel loved. Today, we'll sit a while on the first point.
#1 - Invest Time:
Do you remember your best friend in high school? Chances are good that people often referred to you as "attached at the hip." You did everything and went everywhere together. There was little doubt in either of your minds that you loved one another. The same can be said of our children, spouses, adult friendships. Time spent together is time well spent.
I asked the Lord how I could help the women on my team feel loved, and He clearly told me to invest my time in them. When I asked how I could possibly invest personal time in each of 7 women, our creative God gave me idea after idea...
- I began to set aside one morning per week (with the exception of busy weeks) to invite one of the women from my team over for coffee and a visit. We would spend about 2 hours just chattin' it up. (Obviously, this only worked for those on my team who were at home like me. With those who worked, it would need to be an evening coffee. For me, that took a bit more juggling and we needed to plan it further in advance, but it was always worth the time spent.) --> time spent, 2 hours per week
- If I thought of a woman on my team, I would quickly stop and take a minute to pray for her. Then I would take one more minute to email her, just letting her know that she was in my thoughts and prayers. --> time spent, 2 minutes a couple times per week
- Normally, while doing housework I would find myself in need of a distraction to help get it done (isn't that always the case?). Most often I would call my best friend, my mom, or my hubby to chat while I worked. I decided to replace one of those phone calls each week with a call to someone on my team. I don't know that my "regulars" ever even noticed that I was calling one less time, or if they did I'm sure they were appreciative of having one less distraction! --> time spent, none (because it was already being spent)
- Do you ever get out for a girls' night? My wish is to do it once per month, but the reality is it happens when it happens. I began inviting someone from my team out with my girlfriends and I for girls' night. --> time spent, none
- I usually attended our weekly women's Bible study and our weekly women's coffee group, not only because I was the women's ministry leader, but because I enjoyed the growth and fellowship. While at those events, I made a point of seeking out the women who attended that were also on my team and spending some time visiting with them. Some days, we would sit together the whole time. --> time spent, none
You get the point... Overall, I only increased my "workload" by a mere 2 hours and 6 minutes (roughly) per week. And after the first few weeks -which felt slightly awkward at times - my weekly coffee date morphed into a vital part of my social life.
Another interesting thing happened - the girls out at girls' night grew in numbers, until there were more "ministry girls" than other girlfriends. And wouldn't you guess, many of those "regular" girlfriends got so excited about all that they were hearing that they joined us in leading women's ministry!
Before anyone comes at me with the argument that work is work and we shouldn't have to "make friends" with the people we work with, let me say two quick things. First, ministry is not just "work." Ministry is God's work, and it is also (very often) unpaid volunteer work. Doing ministry is completely different from being out in the work force. (Not that I necessarily think it should be. The working world could probably learn a thing or two from the ministry world.)
Second, if you take a quick journey through the Bible and look at any good leaders you will find that the people they "worked" with LOVED them - they were friends. A few examples for you include: Moses and Aaron (also brothers, but hey), Joshua and Caleb, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and His disciples, Paul and Barnabus (until they disagreed), Paul and Timothy. These ministry partners didn't simply work together - they lived, travelled, and did life together. They were more than mere co-workers; they were friends.
Key points #2 and #3 on How to Love on Your Team coming soon...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a small word of explanation...
Throughout this series, you will hear me frequently use terminology such as "my team" and "my ministry." Please, do not misunderstand my heart based on semantics! There has never been any doubt in my mind that the women's ministry I had the privilege of being a part of belonged wholly to God. It was and is His ministry. Just as the team of women He brought together formed His team.
The use of the word "my" is to draw a clear word picture - that the ministry God called me to lead was born in my heart - just as "my" children were born of my body, though I know and acknowledge that they belong to the King of Kings and He has simply entrusted them to my care for a time. As a leader, there is an element of responsibility towards your ministry and your team. "My" does not denote ownership, but an entrustment.
In developing a new ministry or in building up a ministry that's already running, a team of committed volunteers (and/or staff) are needed to make things happen. Finding people to join your team may not be as difficult as you think (but that's for another post on another day); but keeping people committed to the team, the ministry, you (their leader), and of course to the work God is doing through the ministry - well that task, it takes hard work!
I hope that my story (in part one) convinced you that the key to keeping your team committed is to make them feel loved. But those of us who are married, we have surely learned some difficult lessons about how difficult it can be to make someone feel loved (even if we do truly love that person).
You see, loving someone is not about me having feelings of love towards that person. Rather, it is about me finding ways to show love to that person - ways that he or she understand and feel my love.
I believe there are three keys to making your team members feel loved. Today, we'll sit a while on the first point.
#1 - Invest Time:
Do you remember your best friend in high school? Chances are good that people often referred to you as "attached at the hip." You did everything and went everywhere together. There was little doubt in either of your minds that you loved one another. The same can be said of our children, spouses, adult friendships. Time spent together is time well spent.
I asked the Lord how I could help the women on my team feel loved, and He clearly told me to invest my time in them. When I asked how I could possibly invest personal time in each of 7 women, our creative God gave me idea after idea...
- I began to set aside one morning per week (with the exception of busy weeks) to invite one of the women from my team over for coffee and a visit. We would spend about 2 hours just chattin' it up. (Obviously, this only worked for those on my team who were at home like me. With those who worked, it would need to be an evening coffee. For me, that took a bit more juggling and we needed to plan it further in advance, but it was always worth the time spent.) --> time spent, 2 hours per week
- If I thought of a woman on my team, I would quickly stop and take a minute to pray for her. Then I would take one more minute to email her, just letting her know that she was in my thoughts and prayers. --> time spent, 2 minutes a couple times per week
- Normally, while doing housework I would find myself in need of a distraction to help get it done (isn't that always the case?). Most often I would call my best friend, my mom, or my hubby to chat while I worked. I decided to replace one of those phone calls each week with a call to someone on my team. I don't know that my "regulars" ever even noticed that I was calling one less time, or if they did I'm sure they were appreciative of having one less distraction! --> time spent, none (because it was already being spent)
- Do you ever get out for a girls' night? My wish is to do it once per month, but the reality is it happens when it happens. I began inviting someone from my team out with my girlfriends and I for girls' night. --> time spent, none
- I usually attended our weekly women's Bible study and our weekly women's coffee group, not only because I was the women's ministry leader, but because I enjoyed the growth and fellowship. While at those events, I made a point of seeking out the women who attended that were also on my team and spending some time visiting with them. Some days, we would sit together the whole time. --> time spent, none
You get the point... Overall, I only increased my "workload" by a mere 2 hours and 6 minutes (roughly) per week. And after the first few weeks -which felt slightly awkward at times - my weekly coffee date morphed into a vital part of my social life.
Another interesting thing happened - the girls out at girls' night grew in numbers, until there were more "ministry girls" than other girlfriends. And wouldn't you guess, many of those "regular" girlfriends got so excited about all that they were hearing that they joined us in leading women's ministry!
Before anyone comes at me with the argument that work is work and we shouldn't have to "make friends" with the people we work with, let me say two quick things. First, ministry is not just "work." Ministry is God's work, and it is also (very often) unpaid volunteer work. Doing ministry is completely different from being out in the work force. (Not that I necessarily think it should be. The working world could probably learn a thing or two from the ministry world.)
Second, if you take a quick journey through the Bible and look at any good leaders you will find that the people they "worked" with LOVED them - they were friends. A few examples for you include: Moses and Aaron (also brothers, but hey), Joshua and Caleb, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and His disciples, Paul and Barnabus (until they disagreed), Paul and Timothy. These ministry partners didn't simply work together - they lived, travelled, and did life together. They were more than mere co-workers; they were friends.
Key points #2 and #3 on How to Love on Your Team coming soon...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a small word of explanation...
Throughout this series, you will hear me frequently use terminology such as "my team" and "my ministry." Please, do not misunderstand my heart based on semantics! There has never been any doubt in my mind that the women's ministry I had the privilege of being a part of belonged wholly to God. It was and is His ministry. Just as the team of women He brought together formed His team.
The use of the word "my" is to draw a clear word picture - that the ministry God called me to lead was born in my heart - just as "my" children were born of my body, though I know and acknowledge that they belong to the King of Kings and He has simply entrusted them to my care for a time. As a leader, there is an element of responsibility towards your ministry and your team. "My" does not denote ownership, but an entrustment.
When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. ~Luke 12:48b (NLT)
Labels:
Building Your Ministry,
ministry,
my walk,
writing
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Building Your Ministry, part one - What Your Team Really Needs from You
Through starting and leading a women's ministry for six years, in a church with a congregation of nearly 2000, I have had a few interesting experiences! Some fantastic, amazing, joyful; others bitterly painful. All of them were used by the Lord to grow me as His daughter and servant and to teach me how to lead His way. Lately, He has placed a burden and a passion on my heart to share the lessons I've learned. My prayer is that these lessons will be helpful to other women in ministry - that you might avoid the mistakes I made as well as use anything I did that worked well. I will share the bits and pieces with you as they come to me, in a multi-part blogging series (the number of parts to be determined by how much I find to say) that will appear in random intervals (whenever I feel inspired to say something). How's that for ambiguous?! ;) Thanks for joining me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my early years of leading women's ministry, I had a problem keeping leaders on my team. Attending our team meetings was not a priority on most of their "to do" lists. Being available to serve at ministry events was an "optional" activity, it seemed, for everyone but a few hard core volunteers. Women from the team quit altogether at the drop of a hat - no notice, no explanation.
I wondered, "What the heck can I do to make these women care about this ministry as much as I do?" I believed that the core problem had to do with them. For reasons beyond my understanding, they were just not sold out on impacting women for Jesus. At least, not sold out enough to actually stick with it for the long haul.
There was one woman who left the team early on who always seemed to have a bone to pick with me. I was heartbroken by this, because prior to being in ministry together she was my friend. One day, I gathered up the courage to ask her what happened.
She said, "Tyler, you are really good at being organized, at planning, and at taking care of the details. But I'm not sure you're the right person to be the leader of women's ministry."
I thought to myself, "Of course you'd say that! You have never liked the fact that I am in this role. You have never respected me as a leader. You have a bone to pick with me!"
She continued, "Even though you're good at those things, you're missing an important ingredient. You don't care. You don't have the heart. You don't love us as people. All you are concerned about is that everyone gives as much as you do. When we have life circumstances that get in the way, you only care about how that affects the ministry. You simply don't care about us and our lives."
The conversation continued for nearly an hour, with many tears on both our parts. It was a devastatingly painful conversation. I had always believed that one of my gifts was empathy, yet she was telling me that I was terrible at it. I believed that God had placed a loud and clear call on my life to minister to women, yet she said I didn't have what it takes to be a leader.
I wept and prayed on and off for five days, begging God to heal my broken heart (read: to show me how wrong she was). But the pain in my heart did not ease. On the sixth day I reluctantly changed my prayers and began asking God to weed through her words for me - to show me what words I should ignore, but more importantly to reveal to me the parts of what she said that were true.
Almost immediately, I sensed His answer in my heart. He asked me, "Daughter, have you cared for these women whom I have placed in your charge and under your leadership?" I knew that the answer was no. But I didn't know exactly how to care for them better. Thus began my journey in learning to truly love the women on my team - for who they were instead of for what they did for the ministry. Though Satan intended the cruel words of a hurting woman to beat me down and discourage me, God could use them to grow and mould me.
Lesson #1 - Women need to feel loved. This is not only true in marriage, but in work and ministry as well. If you want to build a team that sticks together for the long haul, sold out for your (God's) vision, you must learn to love them in a way they understand.
Lesson #2 - All advice that is given to you - even that which is laced with vindictive intent - should be sifted by God. He will use every experience (especially the painful ones) to weed out the junk in our lives that prevents us from leading with excellence.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my early years of leading women's ministry, I had a problem keeping leaders on my team. Attending our team meetings was not a priority on most of their "to do" lists. Being available to serve at ministry events was an "optional" activity, it seemed, for everyone but a few hard core volunteers. Women from the team quit altogether at the drop of a hat - no notice, no explanation.
I wondered, "What the heck can I do to make these women care about this ministry as much as I do?" I believed that the core problem had to do with them. For reasons beyond my understanding, they were just not sold out on impacting women for Jesus. At least, not sold out enough to actually stick with it for the long haul.
There was one woman who left the team early on who always seemed to have a bone to pick with me. I was heartbroken by this, because prior to being in ministry together she was my friend. One day, I gathered up the courage to ask her what happened.
She said, "Tyler, you are really good at being organized, at planning, and at taking care of the details. But I'm not sure you're the right person to be the leader of women's ministry."
I thought to myself, "Of course you'd say that! You have never liked the fact that I am in this role. You have never respected me as a leader. You have a bone to pick with me!"
She continued, "Even though you're good at those things, you're missing an important ingredient. You don't care. You don't have the heart. You don't love us as people. All you are concerned about is that everyone gives as much as you do. When we have life circumstances that get in the way, you only care about how that affects the ministry. You simply don't care about us and our lives."
The conversation continued for nearly an hour, with many tears on both our parts. It was a devastatingly painful conversation. I had always believed that one of my gifts was empathy, yet she was telling me that I was terrible at it. I believed that God had placed a loud and clear call on my life to minister to women, yet she said I didn't have what it takes to be a leader.
I wept and prayed on and off for five days, begging God to heal my broken heart (read: to show me how wrong she was). But the pain in my heart did not ease. On the sixth day I reluctantly changed my prayers and began asking God to weed through her words for me - to show me what words I should ignore, but more importantly to reveal to me the parts of what she said that were true.
Almost immediately, I sensed His answer in my heart. He asked me, "Daughter, have you cared for these women whom I have placed in your charge and under your leadership?" I knew that the answer was no. But I didn't know exactly how to care for them better. Thus began my journey in learning to truly love the women on my team - for who they were instead of for what they did for the ministry. Though Satan intended the cruel words of a hurting woman to beat me down and discourage me, God could use them to grow and mould me.
Lesson #1 - Women need to feel loved. This is not only true in marriage, but in work and ministry as well. If you want to build a team that sticks together for the long haul, sold out for your (God's) vision, you must learn to love them in a way they understand.
Lesson #2 - All advice that is given to you - even that which is laced with vindictive intent - should be sifted by God. He will use every experience (especially the painful ones) to weed out the junk in our lives that prevents us from leading with excellence.
His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire. ~Matthew 3:12Building Your Ministry, part two - How to Love on Your Team - coming soon.
Labels:
Building Your Ministry,
ministry,
my walk,
writing
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)