When God Says "No"

So often, my prayers centre around what God can do for me. I think it's okay to ask God to help us with our struggles and provide us with things we want and need, but I am learning that sometimes usually God's answer is not as direct as I'd like. You see, He is much more concerned with the condition of my heart than with the circumstances of my life.

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, "No. It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up."


I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, "No. His spirit is whole,
his body is only temporary."


I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, "No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned."


I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, "No. I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you."


I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to Me."


I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, "No. You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful."


I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, "No. I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things."


I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
God said, "Ahhhh,
finally you have the idea!"

~ Author Unknown

I needed this little reminder that God truly does provide everything that I need...everything I need to grow in faith and righteousness.


* A revised post from the archives.

Resisting Temptation

There is left over cake on my counter from small group last night (I didn't indulge, by the way). I'm feeling kinda hungry. My muscles are a bit sore. And I needed a reminder on the best way to fight through the temptation (which is why you get a re-post)...

In point-form, some steps to help you (really it's for me, but feel free to grab onto these if you need them as much as I do today) pray your way through temptation:

1. Pray about your issue constantly - even at times when you don't feel as though you're struggling. When you wake up, before moving from your bed, remind God (and yourself) that you are prone to being tempted (whether it be yelling at your children, smoking, using foul words, gossipping - just sharing a nasty laundry list with y'all, though God and I kicked the smoking one many, many years ago), and ask Him to help you. Keep on reminding Him all day. It's not that He needs reminding, but we need to remember that He is the only help for our struggles.

...pray continually ~1 Thessalonians 5:17

2. Pray the Word of God the very moment you find yourself staring temptation in the face. It helps to write out Scriptures that speak to your struggle on index cards, so you have God's specific Words handy. Try using a concordance and writing out verses on: temptation, sin, perseverance, faith, holiness, trials, struggle, submission, and so on. If you believe the Bible addresses your issue specifically (such as immorality or anger), look for verses on those topics as well.

In Matthew 4, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert and the devil tried to tempt Him into sinning against His Father. Jesus' reply to each suggestion of the devil was,

It is written...

3. Seek trusted people to pray for you. We are not in the battle against evil on our own - we have brothers and sisters who can stand beside us.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. ~James 5:16

4. Remember that at each juncture, you have a choice. You can choose to submit yourself to temptation (and thus to sin), or you can submit yourself to Christ.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. ~James 4:7

...God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. ~1 Corinthians 10:13

Obsessed by Unbelief

(The post I mentioned yesterday - you know, the one for friends and spouses of women who struggle with anger - is gonna have to wait 'til Monday. Something came up and I had to get it out today!)

In my life, I have noticed a direct link between worry and prayer. I believe it's referred to as an inverse relationship. That is, when I am filled with worry over something, chances are good that I haven't been praying about it very much.

I have spent many mornings this month confessing my worry to the Lord and asking Him to replace my fretting thoughts with the peace and truth of His Word. But not until this very moment did it occur to me what is really going on...

First, all the while I've been calling it "worry" or "fear" or "fretting." The plain truth is that what I am allowing to go on in my mind is nothing short of unbelief. I am not believing that:
- God is who He says He is, and
- God can do what He says He can do. *
I have allowed my heart and mind to slip away from, what I believe, are the foundational truths of my faith.

Second, I have become obsessed. "What we allow our minds to dwell on, there our hearts will be also." (I feel as though that should be in quotes, because I'm certain they're not my words. But for the life of me I cannot recall who said them or where they might be in the Bible. Feel free to fill in the blank.) My thoughts have been so focused on this one "problem" that it has become this thing that I am constantly thinking about. I wish that I were as obsessed with God as I have become over this small issue. Imagine if all I could think about all the time were God and His Word!

Third, (and I don't know why it has taken several weeks for this to occur to me) this is a spiritual battle. Given all the God-sized plans we see in our family's future (missions trip, speaking to women, new church connections, and more), I guess it's not surprising that the enemy would try to come at us. But if I know anything about spiritual warfare, it's this - victory is ours! All that we need to do is claim the authority we have been given in Christ and the enemy will be utterly defeated!

While this post was written mostly for my own benefit (first I live it, then I write it, then I process it), I will say that your prayers for our family would not go to waste. Thanks for listening, friends.

Can I pray for you? If there is anything I can pray for you about, please let me know (either in the comments or via email). It would be an honour to lift up your needs before the Lord. And goodness knows I need to get my heart and mind focused on something other than myself! Sheesh!

* From Beth Moore's "Believing God." (If you've never done this study, you should! Foundational, faith-growing, life changing.)

Just Me

Before reading this post... If you haven't seen them yet, two posts went up yesterday to commemorate our two April birthday girls - Megan and Shea.

Now, I would just like to clear the air a bit. My friend, Bobbie, was certain that Shea's birthday post was going to double as a pregnancy announcement. Let it be said, on the record, that I do not ever expect to be making such an announcement again.

I am fully aware that God can do whatever He chooses, and He may choose to heal the 2nd surgical procedure just as He did the first. But the more time that passes the less likely it seems. And I am beginning to be okay with that. Once we're done with diapers, I am fairly certain I won't want to return to that stage in our lives.

Real life right now is busy, bordering on hectic. Pat's hours of work have been beyond ridiculous - not that I'm complaining, because it's only for a short season in our lives and only once every 4 years or so. Regardless, that is leaving me as the sole caregiver, housekeeper, chauffeur, affection provider, and disciplinarian. There are moments where I might just be feeling a little overwhelmed. (Yes, you can feel free to pray for us!)

Therefore, five is enough. Especially when one has special needs, one has oppositional defiant disorder (Mom-diagnosed only, not professionally), and one has mischief running through every vein. If you're counting, that only leaves two children NOT making Mommy insane!

I realize that this post was mostly me venting. Not at all inspirational, not well-written, not fun or funny. Thanks for being here and listening reading. Sometimes it's really good to just spill it all out to a girlfriend. ;)

Consider it Pure Joy?

I have a confession to make... I struggle between wanting God to answer my prayers and pour out His blessings on me, while also desiring a deeper relationship with Him and experiences that grow my faith to maturity.

I will pray, "Lord, give me a deeper desire to know You and Your Word." Then, when difficult, stressful, frustrating things happen I cry out, "God, what is going on here? Can't You please stop this messy thing that is happening to me?!"

I ask for one thing, then when God begins His work in me - work that will transform my heart and give me that which I've prayed for - I quickly backpedal and begin praying for Him to just put everything back to normal.

It is difficult to remember that life's trials serve a purpose. Our struggles test our faith - we are supposed to draw close to God during such times. Experiencing this testing develops perseverance (determination, persistence, doggedness, diligence, resolution) in us. And perseverance grows us into mature Christ-followers. (Taken from James 1:2-4.)

Our trials serve a purpose. So often we ask God to provide what we want - health, peace, financial provision, a husband, children, and so on - without taking into consideration the possibility that God has a much bigger plan. Possibly, not receiving all that we ask for is the path to fulfilling His plan.

Lysa TerKeurst puts it this way, "We want the promises, but we don't want to get any dirt under our fingernails in the process." (Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl, pp. 201)

Yup, that's me. I want all of the good God assures me of in His Word, but I sure don't want to have to work for it. I don't want to have to struggle and experience pain and heartache in order to experience blessings.

Yet if I haven't experienced that pain, pushed through the struggles, clung to my faith in God, can I even recognize a blessing?

Having spent years in deep debt and financial struggle, I remember to thank God every time I can go to the grocery store and buy whatever I toss in the cart (even if the cart load includes a box of Lucky Charms). If it had simply always been this way - where we needed an item and could go out to get it - I would likely attribute the state of our finances to ourselves. But having experienced times of huge heartache and trials, I am all the more aware that any financial provision has been provided by our Heavenly Father.

I think this is what James means when he says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." (James 1:2) He's not telling us to be ridiculous and run through the streets exclaiming, "I praise you, Lord, that my child has a disability! I am filled with joy by having a special needs child!" Rather, he's instructing us to have a joy deep in our hearts, because of the knowledge that God is using our trials to mature us and draw us closer to Him.

The God Chronicles - 11/20/09

I use The God Chronicles as a journal to record the many ways I see God actively working in my life, so that I can pass the stories on to my children. It would bless me if a bloggy friend or three joined in and linked up to TGC, sharing and preserving your stories.

I frequently write about those times when God has done a wow! kinda thing in my life. But God is active even in the everyday, little things of life, so I wanted to jot down one of those for today...

----------------------------------------------------

I often take off my rings (wedding band, engagement/wedding combo ring, family ring) in the evening and set them on my bookshelf. Every now and then, though, I will set them in some other totally convenient location. I once set them on top of the microwave.

The next evening (almost 24 hours later) as I was getting ready to head out somewhere, I began searching for my rings. And searching. I could not find them anywhere, nor could I recall where I had set them the night before. I shrugged it off, thinking it was one of those places that will come to mind later. But as I grabbed my purse from it's perch beside the microwave, I discovered my wedding band peeking out from underneath.

One of the kids had likely been grabbing something and bumped them. Or, there's always the possibility that someone thought they would be fun to play with or wear. But I try to think the best of my kids. ;)

I set my purse down and started looking around the kitchen for my other rings. After a minute of two, I stumbled across my family ring on the floor against the baseboard. Unfortunately, no matter where I looked and from what vantage point (crawling, standing, squinting) I just was not finding my precious diamonds! After about five minutes knots began to form in my stomach and throat.

A thought popped into my head... Pray. That was countered by the thought, but what a ridiculous thing to pray about! There are children starving and people dying of cancer, families breaking apart and worse. No matter how I tried to ignore that thought, though, it kept coming back to me. So I stopped and asked the Lord to help me find my ring.

After I prayed I wasn't sure what to do. Wait for an idea to come to me? Continue searching? Stop searching altogether? I took a deep breath, picked up my purse, and prepared to leave the house - trying to trust that God would take care of it. Somehow.

On my way out the door I stopped to straighten out the mat (as I often do - a crooked mat makes me crazy!). A glint of something flickered in my peripheral vision. Could it be? Nah. As if God would literally answer my prayer two seconds after I prayed it. I almost ignored that little glint, but my curiosity got the better of me.

Sure enough, tucked in the corner right by my front door - only a couple inches away from the heat register - was my ring! The tension instantly lifted from my neck and shoulders, I slid the ring on my finger, and headed out the door smiling.

As I hopped in my vehicle and turned the key I felt a little whisper in my heart, you're welcome. And I paused again for just a moment to give honour and praise to the One who cares about what's important to me.

Teaching Kids to Pray

I typically like to have a well-outlined plan for everything, step-by-step instructions warm my heart. So for many years I jot down notes about how others teach their kids to pray, so that I can do the same. I don't believe I've ever actually implemented much of what I've made note of, though, and still my children are learning to pray.

Abbey (7) has a tender heart for the things of God. Her bedtime prayers consist of blessings for children in far away countries who have no toys, clothes, or food. (Future missionary in the making?)

Shea (4) can be counted on to burst into spontaneous prayer when it's most needed. Once, we were driving and talking about the kids' older cousin, C, who was having a hard time and making "bad decisions" (best way I could think of to explain things to them), and Shea just burst out in a few sentences of prayer for him.

Braeden (11) and Megan (6) are a bit more reserved, but when a bad dream comes in the night they head straight for mom and dad and ask us to pray - they know where their security lies.

Even Malakai (almost 2) will bow his head and fold his sweet little hands together when we pray, and he gets this look of reverence on his face that makes my heart swell.

So how in the world are these children learning to pray when I haven't been following a plan???

We pray with them at logical times, such as dinner time and bedtime, and we encourage them (but don't force them) to say the prayers.

We let them see us (and join us) in times of prayer throughout the day. For example, if I am praying for someone or something, and a child comes to ask me if I'm sleeping (LOL) I'll invite him/her to pray with me.

They have the opportunity to learn and practice praying at school.

We are always asking God to give them hearts for Him, hearts for prayer, hearts to serve - in spite of how badly we may mess up in teaching these things to them. And He is faithful.

As my children grow up and come into their own, I am realizing that this adage holds a lot of truth:

Faith is caught, not taught.

How to Pray Your way Through Temptation

As I work on my book about mother anger, one surprising discovery I have made is that anger itself is not the problem. In fact, anger often rears its ugly head due to irritation, annoyance, interruption (not situations that should elicit a true angry response).

The problem with mother anger has much more to do with the emotional release that comes from venting (also known as exploding). The release is cathartic - it gives a rush, a high. And we become seekers of that high. We become addicted to that sensation of the release from tension. And every annoying/irritating/interrupting situation tempts us into seeking that release.

As I begin to see my struggle for what it truly is - me being unable to resist sin and caving into temptation, the path to freedom becomes less cluttered.

In point-form, some steps to help you pray your way through temptation:

1. Pray about your issue constantly - even at times when you don't feel as though you're struggling. When you wake up, before moving from your bed, remind God (and yourself) that you are prone to being tempted (whether it be yelling at your children, smoking, using foul words, gossipping - just sharing a nasty laundry list with y'all, though God and I kicked the smoking one many, many years ago), and ask Him to help you. Keep on reminding Him all day. It's not that He needs reminding, but we need to remember that He is the only help for our struggles.

pray continually ~1 Thessalonians 5:17

2. Pray the Word of God the very moment you find yourself staring temptation in the face. It helps to write out Scriptures that speak to your struggle on index cards, so you have God's specific Words handy. Try using a concordance and writing out verses on: temptation, sin, perseverance, faith, holiness, trials, struggle, submission, and so on. If you believe the Bible addresses your issue specifically (such as immorality or anger), look for verses on those topics as well.

In Matthew 4, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert and the devil tried to tempt Him into sinning against His Father. Jesus' reply to each suggestion of the devil was,

It is written...

3. Seek trusted people to pray for you. We are not in the battle against evil on our own - we have brothers and sisters who can stand beside us.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. ~James 5:16

4. Remember that at each juncture, you have a choice. You can choose to submit yourself to temptation (and thus to sin), or you can submit yourself to Christ.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. ~James 4:7

...God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. ~1 Corinthians 10:13

This post has been submitted to both Walk with Him Wednesday and Works for Me Wednesday.

Parched without Prayer

Why am I ignoring His call?

Morning by morning, 5:30 am the alarm clock sings out country music, and I hear Him invite me.

Yet I roll over, hitting snooze again and again, telling Him, "Later, Jesus. Soon. Just a few more minutes of sleep."

Yesterday Shea (4) came to me with tears in her eyes. No one would play with her, would I? The temptation to put her off was strong - laundry, dinner prep, budgeting, and a million other household tasks called my name. But in my mind's eye I saw her face crumpling as she received another rejection. So I turned my eyes from the mess and sat at the table in front of the Yahtzee board.

Her face lit up, glowing with joy and excitement. Once she knew she had my attention she chattered and giggled, taking deep gasping breaths between word-full sentences.

If I were to heed that early morning call to communion, would it light His face? Would He grab the opportunity and pour out His Words into my heart?

When I put Him off, does His face fall like a child who's been turned away?

When I say "not now," I am telling Him that filling my body with sleep is more important than filling my soul with Him. Oh, how wrong that is! Sleep - my body can live with less. But Jesus - my soul cannot live without.

Without Him, my soul dries out, parches, it cries out in thirst. The longer I leave my soul in such a state, the more withered it becomes. Eventually, the dryness will feel normal and the thirst will be dulled. Until the lack of moisture leaves gaping cracks - broken places.

Lord, forgive me for thinking so much of myself that I begin to believe I can afford to postpone my time in Your Presence. Tomorrow morning, and each morning after, give me an unquenchable thirst for Jesus when that alarm clock sounds. I don't want to become a withered old soul! Abba Daddy, I love you. YOU are more important than anything - including sleep. Draw me closer...

Prayer Asks the Questions

So often, my prayers centre around what God can do for me. I think it's okay to ask God to help us with our struggles and provide us with things we want and need, but I am learning that sometimes (often) God's answer is not as direct as I'd like. You see, He is much more concerned with the condition of my heart than with the circumstances of my life.

I had to share one of those "inspirational emails" that has found its way into my inbox this week, that spoke right to my prayers.

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, "No. It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up."

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, "No. His spirit is whole,
his body is only temporary."

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, "No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned."

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, "No. I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you."

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to Me."

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, "No. You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful."

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, "No. I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things."

I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
God said, "Ahhhh,
finally you have the idea!"

I needed this little reminder that God truly does provide everything that I need. I just have to decide what to do with it. It's worth saying again - God is more concerned with the condition of my heart than with the circumstances of my life.