I am so glad this day is over. Phew! I'm exhausted, I have a headache, my throat hurts, and I'm super cranky. The kids were wacked out today, and mom wasn't much better. The reason for the headache and sore throat - waaaaay too much yelling.
I have a confession to make...I am a yeller. It's a problem for me. In many cases I am practically incapable of preventing myself from bellering, especially with the kids. Partly, I'm sure, because the volume level is such that we all need to be loud to be heard. Mostly, though, because I lose control - I lose control of my children and I lose control of myself.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that about 50% of my prayers involve my problem with yelling - confessing, asking forgiveness, repenting, and especially begging for God to change me. My 'theme' verse these days is Galatians 5:22-23, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. God has given me these 5 children to LOVE and to teach about His love...He wants me to embark on the journey of being a mommy with JOY...The Lord has given me the responsibility for setting the emotional tone of our home and maintaining PEACE...PATIENCE is one of the many virtues the Father wants me to develop...What I show my children about KINDNESS will be what they understand about the Lord's kindness...God has called me to be FAITHFUL in all things, little (like money) and large (like parenting) - faithful to His standard...Just as His voice and hands are GENTLE with me when I mess up, so should I be with my babies...God can't change me unless I choose to exercise some SELF-CONTROL.
I hate to make grandiose commitments to drastically change things, because when I screw up (which will inevitably happen) I feel so discouraged. But it really is the time for big changes! I am going to start tonight by posting the fruits of the Spirit throughout my home, to remind me of who I want to be - who I'm called to be. If my children learn about God through my actions, they are currently learning that God has no patience and a very loud, angry voice. That is simply not true! God is so loving and gentle, so patient and kind - trust me, I know this because of how many times I've messed up and how He just forgives me each time... Now is the time for change!
Hey Tyler, I know this probably makes me a horrible person for admitting but you admitting you yell at your kids makes me feel better about being a mom.
ReplyDeleteLet me explain... I too am a yeller, but you always seem so put together and calm when you are out and about with the treasures from God I thought that you NEVER yelled at them. So imagine me having yelled at my one sweet Isabelle (have I mentioned she has entered the terrible two's with a vengence and 11 months early) and thinking you have five and have never raised your voice.
So thank you for reminding me that no one is perfect and we all struggle in life in some way and that they are all lesson God needs us to learn (the hard way or not).
Lisa K
You should write devotionals...you are always so real, but still reflect God so clearly. Blessings and love,
ReplyDeleteLucille
Wonderful post Tyler. When we bring our walk and struggles into the light, there is a power in transparency that inspires others, and ourselves to change. Love to you...and blessings on your blog adventure.
ReplyDeleteLisa - that's about the only reason why I dare to admit it...a couple years ago I heard a woman I thought was 'Super Mom' admit how she struggled...it was so freeing that I promised myself (and God) that I would be willing to be open with my shortcomings if it could set other women free and draw them closer to God.
ReplyDeleteLucille - thanks for the compliment, but even if the content might work for devotionals I'm not certain my writing skills are up to par!