Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Time to Weep... (*updated)

I am experiencing near-meltdown today. My emotions are running amok.

I am aware that there is a slim chance I'm being hyper-sensitive and mildly irrational. I realize that factors such as too little sleep, PMS, and hunger are likely conspiring together against my mental health.

None of this self-awareness changes the fact that I am teetering on the brink of tears.

I was cranky, harsh, unreasonable, and any number of similar adjectives toward my husband. He is not at fault for how I'm feeling. Yet I blamed him.

Sometimes, though, a girl just wants to be hugged. She needs to be reassured that she is lovable and loved, in spite of her "issues." She wants to be told that everything will be all right, and have her hair smoothed back from her teary eyes.


Given some time to think, and some worship music cranked in the house, I am reminded of some things I know to be true...
- a fool gives full vent to his anger
- the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control
- be slow to speak and slower to anger
- a contentious wife is like a constant dripping

Feeling emotional is not an excuse for behaving like a child - selfish and pouty. I still feel weepy (and obviously need to go to bed early tonight), but because of the One who lives in me, the One whose glory glory I want to reflect, I need to act in the Spirit. Not because I have any ability on my own to change my attitude and actions, but only with His strength.

Honey, I'm sorry.

Sometimes, I kinda wish I was the me before I knew Him...just for a brief moment in I wouldn't feel convicted of my wrongness so quickly. I kinda miss getting mad and staying mad - there was an emotional release to it.

Then again, that release can't even compare to the freedom that comes with life with Him. Nothing compares to that.


  1. :) Way to go in turning to our Heavenly Father in tough times...I need to do that more too...thanks for the "update" and how you and Him turned things cool!

  2. Oh crap... I am not suppose to vent? Call me a fool, it always makes me feel better. Tomorrow is another day!

  3. Praying that today will be special for you...a God-kissed day. And, if your weariness and teary-ness continue, ask your children to be God to you today. They have such tender hearts...if they know you are sad and need a touch from God, just see how they will respond.

  4. Thanks for being real with us. You're certainly not alone.

    And don't you just love the grace God gives us?


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