Easy to Forget

It's easy to forget to pay attention to the little details of life, especially when things are going smoothly.

The marriage has been happy and comfortable with no major conflict. Wife feels well loved, husband feels respected. There's nothing to "work" on, so they take a break from working on things and sit back to enjoy the season of contentment.

Children have been well-behaved, obedient, respectful, and loving toward one another. It's easy to let one little incident of disrespect slide...after all, s/he has been so good lately that it seems over the top to discipline that one little slip up.

Finances, spiritual life, friendships - same story. Being good stewards of the gifts God has given us can take a lot of work (it can be downright exhausting), so after periods of hard work all we really want to do is take a rest. During seasons of relative harmony, we let don our guard and become less vigilant about maintaining the standard. It only takes a short period of time before struggles arise. It can feel so sudden - out of nowhere, even.

Imagine that you own a precious, priceless, astounding piece of jewelry. Or an invaluable historical document (think "National Treasure"). You have hired someone to guard what is precious to you, so that it does not get lost, stolen, or damaged. The unthinkable happens. Your treasure is gone!

Understandably upset, you ask your security guard how this possibly could have happened? The guard tells you that things had been going so well...there were no robbery attempts, nothing was amiss, things seemed so peaceful...so your guard simply took the day off. After all, the guard had worked so hard for so long to protect your treasure - a break was certainly deserved.

The logic doesn't stand so well anymore, does it?

God has given each one of us things to guard on His behalf - our marriages, our families, our finances, our spiritual lives. He has charged us with the job of protecting these gifts as the treasures they are. They belong to Him, and we do not have the luxury of "taking a break."

This trip (Disneyland, 2009) has reminded me of that truth. Our family was in a glorious season that many referred to as "blessed." Peace, contentment, and stability reigned. And after what felt like years of hard work at managing finances/marriage/children, I kicked back on my heels to take a little rest. I let the little things slip - a bit of overspending here, allowing myself to react in an overly-emotional way to something my husband said (that I know was not intended to insult), ignoring a few words of sibling bickering - because they'd been so good, and if I'm honest because I didn't want to put out the energy required to deal with it.

The struggles on our way down here, as unwelcome as they were, have been a blessing. God's wake up call to me. He has called me to do a job for Him, and there are no days off. I am the only one He has "hired" for these specific jobs - there is no relief staff. If I walk away and take a day off, enjoy a little nap, or let just a couple things slide through, the treasure could be lost (or stolen).

Some things can be too easy to forget; thankfully I have a loving Father who helps me to remember.

A re-post from the archives.

Interesting tidbit - could have written this post again today, as God has been gently reminding me to stay focused and alert, diligent in all that He's called me to do (time with Him, being a good wife and patient mother, financial stewardship, writing, speaking, being a friend...).

Trading Arm Pit Noises For Estrogen

Today I'd like to introduce you to someone very special to me. If I were Elijah (which I am NOT), she would be Elisha. I had the great privilege of "passing the mantle" of women's ministry leadership into her capable hands.

Stacy is a wife, homeschooling mom to three beautiful (and well-behaved) kids, and a true friend. If you want to get to know her better, you can read some old posts over at her blog, my simple walk. If we're lucky, maybe writing this guest post has gotten her creative juices flowing and she'll start writing for her blog again. ;)

About a year ago I inherited a wonderful women’ s ministry. At the time I didn’t understand what God was doing. Honestly I still don’t get it...even though He continues to tell me with a very bold and loving voice. One of those moments occurred just recently.

I have been a full time volunteer in the children’s ministry for a very long time. I have three children who are there and I whole heartedly support this ministry and for me that means being actively involved in it. I was a leader with our 56er’s group. The grade 5 and 6 kids. It was a great experience, but I can say I questioned my better judgement after the first month. I am a pretty structured person with a fairly small funny bone. Needless to say a table full of 10-12 year old boys was a little challenging for me. I wondered what I had got myself into. As the year progressed, I began to think maybe I should be in the nursery holding babies instead of talking about all the different noises I can make with my arm pit! I wasn’t going to quit and back down though and was trying to decide if I should give it another year.

In the meantime my new role in the women’s ministry was taking form and my mind was spinning. I would be organizing ticket sales in the cafe for a women’s event and headed upstairs to lead a group of kids. At some point, honestly I can’t recall when, I began to ask God to rearrange my day so that He was my priority. I didn’t want my time with Him to be another task on my list, and I didn’t want to feel like He was always sitting in my living room on the couch waiting for me, all the while I was busy “doing” things.

As the year came to an end, I was called in by the children’s coordinator. She told me that she felt like I needed a break from children’s ministry and since I wouldn’t give myself one....well she would do it for me. She said that God called me to lead the women and I can’t do that while trying to pull my thoughts and heart in three different directions. I was in awe. Little did she know that I had been praying for the Lord to rearrange my day, but thank goodness for her obedient and willing spirit.

On the way home that day the song Oh How He Loves came on. I was in tears.... and belting out this song American Idol style as I drove home. God was telling me that He loves me so much, he was taking a burden away from me that He knew I couldn’t do myself. He also once again told me that he placed me in leadership over the women of my church. He loves me and he wants to teach me. He is gentle with me when I refuse to get the message, and wants to wrap me up in his love.

If you have never heard that song before....you need to. It is one of the greatest ways I think God has chosen to tell us how much he loves us. Thank goodness for obedient hearts and a God who loves us like a hurricane and keeps us tucked safely away in the eye of it...most of the time.

Thanks Tyler for the chance to share that moment with God.

Stacy, thank-you for sharing the way God has been speaking to you. If I could pick one thing that resonated with me, it was this:

I began to ask God to rearrange my day so that He was my priority. I didn’t want my time with Him to be another task on my list, and I didn’t want to feel like He was always sitting in my living room on the couch waiting for me, all the while I was busy “doing” things.

My heart, too, longs for relationship with my Jesus to be deeper and more meaningful than simply another task I cross of my list.

God is in the Quiet Whispers

I had good intentions of taking my morning quiet times to seek God, to read my Bible, to pray, to journal, to write for my book proposal. But the reality of camping with five children altered those plans.

My heart was not okay with spending four days and three nights starved for His Word and His voice. I had to find a way to spend time in His Presence that was different from my usual way.

As I lay in my bed in the early morning, awakened by the cawing of crows, I asked Him to be with me that day. He whispered, I am with you always.

While sitting on a park bench watching the children climb and slide and climb again, I recited His Word (my memory verses) in my head. He whispered, take the bread of life and eat.

Standing on the beach, turning slow circles and counting heads 1-2-3-4-5, I begged him to inspire me. He whispered pages of words for me to write to glorify Him.

This morning, as I savoured my still quiet, I praised and thanked Him for the way He stays close to me. He whispered, When you call on Me I will answer you; seek Me with all of your heart and you will find Me.

What has He been whispering to your heart lately?

A re-post from the archives.

Ever Wonder About Marketing? - con't

For this first part of this post, click here.

We left off with a question hanging in the air. Should a speaker/writer be promoting herself, or should she just leave that up to God?

As you know, I am a big proponent of people serving in their area of giftedness. I absolutely believe that every Christian MUST learn what their spiritual gifts are and then do all that can be done to develop those gifts and serve God with them. Romans 12:6-9 says, We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

We are instructed to use our gifts and use them well! (Luke 12:48 CEV) To be confident in our calling. (2 Peter 1:10) To invest wisely with our talents, not burying them. (Matthew 25:14-28)

Through these Scriptures, the counsel of the Holy Spirit, and the teaching of others (Shannon Ethridge through BLAST, Proverbs 31 Ministries through She Speaks, to name a couple), my perspective on marketing has slowly been changing. I am realizing that by not doing the self-marketing required to move ahead in this ministry, I am:

#1 - Not using my gifts as well as I could be;
#2 - Not totally confident in my calling or in God's ability (and desire) to use me;
#3 - To some degree, burying my talents.

While I continue to believe it's important not to become prideful (that is, being proud of MY gifts rather than thankful to the Giver), I am also learning that I have some serious obligations in this ministry. An obligation to other women (women who may be walking through some of the same stuff I've experienced) - to share with them that there is a Hope of something beyond their current circumstances. An obligation to myself - to be the very best I can be, not selling myself short or giving into fear and insecurity. And most importantly, an obligation to God - to ensure that He gets all the glory for how my messed up life has anything beautiful in it. After all, I have been entrusted with this life and these life experiences.

All this to answer my own question from the last post - Do I agree or disagree with the statement, "If God wants me to be marketed and get published, He will make it happen?" My answer is yes and no.

Yes - God can and will fulfill His will in my life.
No - I cannot simply sit back and wait for it to happen.

God and I, we're in a partnership in this thing (life, ministry). He can do it all without me if He wants to, but that wouldn't build our relationship or grow me spiritually. He wants me to be an active and willing participant in His work.

So, what do you think? Has your opinion changed from the last post?

And is there something you feel God is calling you to do that will further your ministry for Him and His glory?

Just a quick note to let you know that there's going to be some fun and excitement here this week. While I am off having much fun and excitement camping with my mom and kids, I've got some special things planned for you. There will be a couple "gooders" pulled up from the archives, but even better - TWO AMAZING GUEST POSTS! You are going to love these girls as much as I do, I just know it! I promise that you will be ending your week with a full heart and misty-eyes...

Ever Wonder About Marketing?

As a developing speaker and writer, one of the words that keeps popping into conversation is the word "platform." No, it's not quite the same as political platform. In this case, the concept of building a platform refers to building a following. Essentially, the wide world of publishing would like any unpublished authors to come to them with a pack of "groupies" already established. Kidding. Sort of.

While it's not quite about gathering groupies, having a platform is about finding people who believe in you and believe in the message you have to share, who would already be committed to buying your book, even before you get it written. (I am hoping that a few of you fall into that category. *wink*)

Here's the thing, selling yourself in an effort to develop a following feels somewhat contrary to the whole concept of Christian humility. In fact, Pat told me nearly two years ago that I needed to "sell myself" and I flat out rejected that suggestion! I'm pretty sure I said something along these lines, "If God wants me to be marketed and get published, He will make it happen."

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

More on this next week...

M & M #3

To keep ourselves saturated in God's Word this summer, a few of us are joining together in Scripture memory. Every two weeks, we choose a new verse and share it here. I would be honoured to have you join me. Even if you're brand new here, you can start today!

Wondering exactly how to do this mediation and memorization (m & m) thing? Check out the first M & M post.

How did you do with your memory verse these past two weeks?

If you joined in last time, tell us how you did. Try writing your verse in the comments - from memory. Don't worry if you don't quite have it down! Remember, even as you work on new verses, you continue to practice the previous ones. And if you chose a larger passage of Scripture, you just might need to stay focused on that one for the whole month.

Here's my last verse, from memory (hopefully I've got it down; I was a little lax in my practicing!): If God has been generous with you, He will expect you to serve Him well. If He has been more than generous, He will expect you to serve Him even better. ~Luke 12:48b (CEV). (Okay, confession, I had to look at my index card to remember where in the Bible this verse came from! I had James in my head.)

Which passage of Scripture are you going to tackle for the next two weeks?

Because I'm preparing for She Speaks, and have been very focused on my writing and speaking these days, I have chosen 1 Peter 4:11:

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the very strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and power forever and ever. Amen.

The Gift You Never Wanted

It's a special day. Feels like you've waited forever for today. Finally, it's here!

People begin to arrive for the celebration, many of them bearing gifts. You eye the brightly-coloured packages with a sense of anticipation. Fluttery feelings dance through your stomach. Today is the day!

You notice something unusual - there is a package, just peeking out from a polka-dot gift bag, that is wrapped up in plain brown packing paper. For just a moment you wonder about that package, but soon the joyful mood around you distracts you from your musings.

The excitement builds until the time for opening the gifts arrives. At last! You begin with care, trying not to tear the pretty paper, but that only lasts for a moment before eagerness wins out and you tear into each package voraciously.

As each present's wrapping and packaging is tossed aside, a pile of precious items grows at your feet. You open one package that promises blue eyes, another offering curly brown hair. Sweet baby smiles and coos...endless childhood hugs...bundles of dandelion flowers...

You are done, and there is so much joy. But wait, that intriguing box - the one wrapped simply in brown paper - remains. You aren't very excited about opening that one. In fact, the thought of accepting that gift is a bit scary. But you know that if you ignore it, the giver will be hurt. It is with trepidation that you take this gift in ugly wrapping onto your lap, slowing pulling back the corners.

It can't be! No. You want to stop opening it. You can tell that this box holds something much different than baby-powder smells, booty-covered toes, or bassinet naps. This is big. Scary. What is this thing?! There are a million words to describe it, to understand it, but the explanation that reverberates in your head is, "Something is wrong." Sometimes this present is called Down Syndrome or heart defect; in my case it was called Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy.

You wish you had never even noticed that package. Sometimes you wish that you had never come to your special day. But you have no choice, you place that present in the pile with all the others.

As days and years go by, you have moments where all you see are the treasures that came out of the first several gift bags. They are like gold coins from a treasure chest. Other days, you will find yourself seeing only the stuff from the other package - the unwanted gift. Beside the gold coins, they are lumps of coal.

The passage of time reveals a surprising discovery. Something seems to be happening to those coals. You see a glimmer peeking through the dirt and ash. Suddenly you remember - under the right circumstances, coal becomes diamonds. Diamonds! Diamonds such as unbridled joy at a new accomplishment, unconditional love for others, unexpected moments of beauty. Each diamond is valuable beyond measure. Certainly more precious than a handful of gold coins.

You think to yourself, "If I had never opened that gift in the ugly package, I would never have discovered these precious gems!"

A woman with a handful of gold is rich. A woman whose gold coins lay among a pile of coals knows she's rich. A woman whose coals slowly turn into diamonds not only knows she's rich, but knows that she is blessed!

Having a child with special needs and/or medical issues is like receiving that gift wrapped in packing paper. At first, we may not really want to open that gift because the wrapping doesn’t look as pretty as we hoped it would. But once a Mom tears into that paper to see what’s inside, she will discover unimaginable treasure! Sure, there will likely be a number of cubic zirconia stones (and more coals) mixed in with all the treasure – each will bring new disappointment – but the discovery of real diamonds makes the gift worth every moment of discouragement.

Doing Life Together

Pat and I are looking to really get connected in our new home. We've talked about joining a life group (aka small group/ home group) and we've also discussed starting a group. We've considered a weekly Bible or book/DVD study group and we've pondered a group that simply "does life together." (Phrase stolen from our old stomping grounds, CrossRoads Church.) We've wondered whether a group should be solely for Christian fellowship or if it should be a comfortable and welcoming place for unchurched friends to see faith in action.

I thought it would help us to find out what others are doing. What works, what doesn't. So I created a survey. :) If you are currently in a small group, or if you have been in one in the past, would you mind taking a couple minutes to answer my questions?

Click here to take survey.

And for the comments section:
If you have never been in a life group, why not?
If you were in a group in the past but aren't any longer, how come? What happened?
What do you think makes a successful life group?
Why do you think some groups fail?

Thank-you, dear friends, for helping us navigate the waters of doing life in our new home.

Burning Coals

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each wit six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send" And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

~Isaiah 6:1-8

It's been five months since I read this passage. Five months since I fell on my face before the Lord in repentance. Six months since I proclaimed this to be my year of consecration. Yesterday, as I stood in church and let the words of the prophet Isaiah flood over me, I sensed the Spirit asking me for a halfway point progress report.

He knows where I've made strides, where I've but taken a few steps, and where I've not moved at all (or fallen back to where I started). He doesn't need me to present Him with a report card. Yet I clearly sensed Him asking, "Tyler, how have you been doing? Are you any closer to the holiness I desire in your life than you were at the start of this year?"

My answer, a feeble, "Well, I think so." Conviction. "A little bit." More conviction. "I guess I could have put more effort in, been more intentional." Even more conviction. "Oh Lord, woe to me! I am a woman of unclean lips! In spite of my desire to do better and be better I continually fail. My lips spew forth impatience, selfish words, profanities." And I know in that moment that the impurities that spill from my mouth are but an overflow from a mind filled with filth and a heart set on selfish desires.

Once again, I will stop and turn. Turn away from the evil that I repeatedly find myself drawn into; turn back towards the God who loves me. And I will try, once again, to follow Him, be like Him, and serve Him.

Thank-you, Sandy, for giving us the opportunity to share how God speaks to us this summer.

Proverbs

I received a story by email recently (you know the ones) that I actually opened and read. (This is not typical for me. I tend to see that it's one of those "inspirational" forwards and delete without ever opening.) I got a few chuckles out of the "proverbs" for life. Maybe you will too. :)

* Just accept that some days you're the pigeon;
and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet -
just in case you have to eat them.

* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it.

*Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"recalled" by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird,
sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp; some are pretty; and
some are dull. Some have weird names; and all are different colours;
but they all have to live in the same box.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Tithers Are Recession-Proof

I came across a post this morning that echos loudly every thought I have on the matters of tithing, giving, and personal finances. While the post was written toward those considering adoption, the truths Linny shares are relevant for all of us.

Below is an excerpt, but make sure you visit A Place Called Simplicity to read the whole post and a multitude of other fantastic posts about God's hand in the life of this family! (The post, written in January of 2009 and entitled "Middle of the Night Thoughts" is down the page a bit, below the blog intro called "Our Boatload of Dreams.")

Yes, the economic system in our world is in serious, major, humongous trouble. BUT God's economy is plentiful. Yes, people are losing their jobs (our sweet son-in-love, Ryan, lost his job last Wednesday) BUT Almighty God is the ultimate Job Placement Agency. Jehovah Jirah is still on the throne and He is the meeter of all needs.

If we were to do a study of God's principles an over-riding theme is that God deeply loves three specific groups of people and we are commanded to care for them. The poor, the orphan and the widow.

So call me crazy: BUT I do not think that when the economy is struggling that the King of Kings changes His plans and says, "oh I didn't realize that the dollar would be worth far less and you guys would lose your jobs and so yeah, don't worry about the poor, the orphan and the widow. I didn't realize that this economy would go 'bust' and yeah, ummm so, you guys really better button up your giving and hang on to every penny you get."

Absolutely not!!! He has called us to care for the poor, the orphan and the widow - period! Dw and I firmly believe that no matter what - His commands are not optional!! In fact, we are of the notion when times get tough - give more away!! When you are wondering how you are going to pay for something - give even more away to the poor, the orphan or the widow.

There is something about God watching our hearts and seeing that we are trusting HIM not the savings account, our home value, or our IRA. He says, "Give and it will be given to you - pressed down, running over..." Does that make sense? Only in GOD'S economy.

Recently I was talking to a group of friends. There is a popular notion out there that "when I get alot of money (the lottery/strike it rich in business) then I will finally be able to really do something big for God." But I think that is a very wrong game plan. God is watching our stewardship NOW. He says, "When I gave you little, what did you do?" Have you hoarded it? Have you kept it for your own pleasure - because after all, you 'earned' it and you 'deserve' it? Are your 'needs' really needs? Have you been generous with the small amount you have?? I think the word "generous" is key. Dw and I are totally convinced that He is watching our stewardship and if we are faithful and generous in little - THEN He will pour out His financial blessings BECAUSE He knows that you are trustworthy - you are doing what He wanted you to do in the first place - faithfully and sacrificially giving to the needs of the poor, the orphan and the widow - even when you had little.

Dw and I are convinced that tithers are Recession/Depression Proof. Remember David in the Psalms said: "I have never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed begging bread." It does not mean that times won't get "crunchier", but He is the provider!!

Dw and I are totally convinced that He is watching our stewardship and if we are faithful and generous in little - THEN He will pour out His financial blessings BECAUSE He knows that you are trustworthy - you are doing what He wanted you to do in the first place - faithfully and sacrificially giving to the needs of the poor, the orphan and the widow - even when you had little.
So the game plan?? Get out of debt! Give to the orphan, the widow and the poor. Stop needless spending. Give to the orphan, the widow and the poor. Downsize your home to have less mortgage (or no mortgage). Give to the orphan, the widow and the poor. Cut up your credit cards and pay them off. Give to the orphan, the widow and the poor.

And THEN watch and see our Miracle-Working, Mountain-Moving, Awe-Inspiring, Gasp-Giving God provide supernaturally for you!! It's gonna' be so stinkin' amazing!!

Does it get any more real, straight-shooting, down-to-earth, say-it-like-it-is than this?! And based on our personal experience, every single word is absolutely accurate. Don't believe me (or Linny)? Go ahead and test it out...

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. ~Malachi 3:10

Eleven

In our first year of marriage, I was quite insistent that Pat and I exchange the traditional anniversary gifts. I had a calendar made with pictures from our wedding for him to hang at work. (I don't think he ever did take it to work, though, because he was mostly on the road.) I can't remember what he got me, but it was definitely paper.

Once we were coming up on the year of cotton, we decided that buying one another clothes was dumb. Instead, we bought stuff that we wanted. Kinda like a birthday. I'm sure we did gifts for a few years, but after a while that became more headache and expense than we wanted.

The past few years, we've chosen time together for our anniversary. Last year, our tenth, we spent the weekend at the same place we spent our honeymoon. I got a tattoo. (Not really related, but hey!)

Most of the time (not just anniversaries) our dates involve doing what I like to do.This year, our anniversary was spent doing what Pat has always wanted to do - camping as a family. To say I enjoyed it would be an understatement. It was great! (No one is more surprised by this than I.) Here are a few snapshots of our anniversary weekend.

Along the way you'll notice a few peeps that don't belong to us. We had 3 extra young folk on the trip, as well as a friend and co-worker of Pat's with his wife and little boy. Many of these photos were taken by said friend/co-worker.

Somebody learned to ride on just two-wheels! Yay, Megan! You go girl!

Abbey demonstrating her gymnastics skills for Shea and G.

Pat had to get in on the two-wheel riding action. This picture was posted on the wall at work first thing Monday morning.

Braeden and J were the only ones brave enough to get in that cold lake and stay in!

Wheee! Malakai put on hundreds of miles over the weekend.

Sweet smiling G. Her face had this expression on it for the whole time.

Daisy dog got in on the action. Camping plumb wore her out.

I believe they were building a city of volcanoes.

Pat and Abbey, sitting still and quiet in hopes of catching a squirrel in their net.

Kai's new buddy, Little C (or "baby," as Kai fondly referred to him) stuck close to the shiny red tricycle at all times.

This may have been the shot that caught Braeden right in the face. I think J overestimated the amount of power required to kick a mini soccer ball!

Braeden getting in on the soccer action. (Obviously, this was prior to the hit in the face. After that incident he decided to "retire." LOL!)

Here's Big C. See that gap? He yanked those two front teeth out the day we left for camping. The tooth fairy even comes to visit in travel trailers, didya know?

I'm pretty sure this was the, "Mama, carry me up!" look.

There must have been a Pat-monster chasing these kids...

No family outing is complete without a friendly match of Kung-Fu fighting.

Deficient

Not for the first time, I am pondering the words of James 1:2-4. This time, though, I heard them quoted from the Message.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

What jumps out at you from this passage?

For me, the word "deficient" leaps off the page. In life, in faith, in all things, the LAST thing I want to be is deficient, insufficient, or less-than. It would seem that my best defense against being found lacking is to allow the difficulties of this life do their work, to not try to get out of trials, and to allow them to make me mature and well-developed. I don't know if, in the midst of things, I would consider pressure and hardship a gift. Yet after the fact, I can honestly say that I would not be the person I am without having had certain unpleasant life experiences.

Without a special needs child, I would have little compassion for the pain, heartache, and utter exhaustion so many parents are walking through. Because I had to fight, research, and advocate for Braeden, I feel equipped to help and encourage other parents to ask for what they need.

Had I not walked through the valley of the shadow of depression, I suspect I would be unsympathetic (and even judgemental) of others in need of counselling and medication to treat their mental health issues. Instead, I find my heart burdened to pray for my friends caught in the mire of emotional anguish.

If I had not been a teenage disaster, not experienced the loss of two pregnancies, not been a fatherless girl desperate for a man to love me, if I had not had times of plenty and times of very little, and not had empty and angry painful years in my marriage... Who would I be? In spite of the pain that each of these experiences caused me, I do not believe I would want do go back and do life again without them. For then I would be a woman who knew not the scandalous grace offered through Christ, the freedom found in offering forgiveness, the love of a Father who never leaves, the beauty of a marriage restored, the bonds of friendships soldered over shared sorrows...

What about you?

Does this version of the passage give you any new insights about your own faith walk? Looking back, can you see how certain trials have shaped and matured you? Are there struggles that you have come through, that you can now genuinely say were a "sheer gift?"

Why Didn't I Invent That?

I am one of those people who often says, "You know, someone should invent ________. That would make life so much easier!" But I am an idea gal, not a creator. So I leave it at that, and eventually, when I see that someone has invented it, I am kicking myself about how many millions I could be raking in if I'd only pushed forward with my idea.

Well, now someone has gone and done it! They took my love of lists, my enjoyment of office and school supplies, and my desire for organization and rolled it all into one GIANT awesome idea! Pre-purchased school supplies. Yup. Best. Idea. Ever.

At the start of June I got an order form sent home. (Two actually. One for each girl.) You could check off the "basic package" option, which included all the annual supplies for each class, direct from the teacher's list (such as 6 sticks of UHU glue, markers, etc.). Or you could mark off some "options" to add to the package - things you might already have at home (such as a pencil box, scissors, and so on). The order forms were due by June 15th, with payment. School supplies can be picked up in the school gym a few days before the first day.

Seriously?! Could life get any convenient?! Now, if only I could find a place to order groceries that offers free delivery here in the county. That would make life so much easier!

Oh Canada!

Today is Canada Day. Our nation's birthday. I know that Americans tend to be known for the patriotism more than Canadians, but the fact is that Canada is just about the best place in the whole world to live! (I say 'just' simply because I wouldn't mind a little less snow.)

In honour of Canada's 143rd year, I am going to list 143 things I love about Canada! Kidding... How about my top 10?

10. I like spelling words the 'proper' English way, such as honour and colour and neighbour.

9. There is so much space everywhere!

8. We are the best at hockey.

7. It is pronounced "zed," not "zee." ;)

6. We are known for being the friendliest nation. Canadian visitors are welcomed with open arms everywhere in the world.

5. The loonie and toonie are cute!

4. While I acknowledge some short-comings in our health care system, I definitely appreciate FREE care for all! (If we had to pay for all the services Braeden accesses, we'd be looking at up to $40,000 per year.)

3. Coloured money is the way to go!

2. The beauty of our summers (green) and autumns is incomparable!

1. Our Rocky Mountains may just be the biggest show of God's hand in this fine world!

M & M #2

I find it interesting how the verse I am memorizing almost always seems tied in to what's going on in my life. I'm certain that sometimes I choose a verse based on what I'm feeling and experiencing, but every now and then I will choose one that I like (for no other reason than that) and by the end of two weeks it fits.

The past 2 weeks I have been memorizing Romans 12:11, Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (Written from memory - I'll have to see if it's correct after I hit publish. That's only fair, I think?) Well, wouldn't you know it, but this past Sunday both Pat and I took the same message to heart from the sermon - God called us, but we allowed ourselves to grow comfortable and lost our zeal; it is time to restore that fervor by serving Him as we were called to do. Coincidence that I selected this particular verse two weeks ago? I think not.

How did you do with your memory verse these past two weeks? Try typing it from memory into the comments. (It's okay if you don't have it down perfectly! Keep reviewing it all summer as you learn more verses, and by the end of the summer you will.)

Which passage of Scripture are you going to tackle for the next two weeks?

(If you want to join our small posse in Scripture memory this summer, just let me know in the comments of any M & M - meditation and memorization - post. You are welcome! No need to try to "catch up" by memorizing extra verses, just join in whenever. But don't forget to leave your verse in the comments.)

The verse I will be working on until the 14th of July is:

If God has been generous with you, He will expect you to serve Him well. If He has been more than generous, He will expect you to serve Him even better. Luke 12:48b (CEV)

You'll probably be more familiar with the NIV version of the verse. I also love the way it's worded in the Message, Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities. I figure that if God is reminding me to serve Him with passion, I ought to keep on reminding myself not to let myself be lazy about the gifts He's given me and the ministry He's called me to!

On Daddy's Shoulders

One of my kids' favorite places to be is up on Pat's shoulders. When chubby, little legs tire of walking, up they go! When big, round, peering eyes cannot see what's up ahead, Daddy hoists them up.

There comes a point, though, in each of our children's lives, when they can no longer ride on Daddy's shoulders. It usually happens somewhere in the fifth year of life, when that 50 lb mark is attained on the scale. At that time, it becomes awkward and cumbersome to get the child up there and keep him or her safely perched.

I thought of this as I listened to the lyrics of a song by Francesca Battistelli, "Free To Be Me." She sings:

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me.

I have heard this song, sang along with it hundreds of times. Yet never caught on to that phrase, "on Your shoulders I can see." But the other day, it just struck me and stuck with me, and I've been mulling it over ever since.

All too often I find myself navigating through life as a blind woman. I hold my hands out in front of me and ask, This way, Lord? Bump. This way? Crash. Which way do I go? Where do I turn? What can I do for You? Where am I? Who am I??? I want to do it right, but on my own and in my own strength, I am nothing more than a bumbling mess still trying to "find myself."

If I would just stop flailing around in the dark for a moment and ask Him, Daddy, will you put me up on Your shoulders? I would see. I would see that He has good plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11); I would see that He has purpose for me (Psalm 138:8); I would see the person that He created me to be (Jeremiah 1:5); I would be free to be that person.

What about you? Have you found yourself bumping into things, trying to figure out who you are and why you are here?

If so, try taking one of the three Scriptures listed above and meditating on it. Ask God what He wants to say to you through that verse.

Framed and Stoned

Early in our marriage, I established an annual family tradition - the Rowan family photo session. Over the years, "annual" became a flexible term, depending on finances, motivation, and scheduling. Family photo day, though, has often been a day of dread and obligation for our crew. Why is it that people who spend hours of their day hamming it up for the camera at home are unable to do the same when their mother needs them to?!

It has been two years since our last family photo session, and I could not let it pass by any longer! Children change so much in these young years, and I want to have that growth documented. On Sunday, we headed out to a construction site in hopes of capturing all the little faces in a smile - at the same time - just once.

Thanks to my beautiful and talented friend, Loni (of Loni Bourne Photography), our photo session was absolutely painless! Loni was FAST - in just over half an hour she got at least 300 shots. She was able to capture each of the kids in moments when they were posing themselves, so we didn't need to beg and cajole anyone to "stand here" and "look there." For their awesome cooperation and participation in mommy's annual tradition, the kids earned themselves a yummy ice cream.

I find that our daily lives are full of frame-able moments. I would love to capture the moment when an older sibling imparts words of wisdom to one of the younger ones. Or the silly, giggling faces around the dinner table as we each try our hand at being the joke-master. Those moments in our lives when we know we have just witnessed the hand of God over our family. But those instances will have to live on as still shots in my mind, because by the time I get the camera the perfect picture has vaporized.

Instead I will take our latest 11x14 family shot and put it in the frame on the mantle, tucking it in front of the photos from years before. As I do this, I will gather the family around me to wander through the years. And we will remember as many moments as we can, captured in one still frame.

Lord, your faithfulness goes on through the generations! Thank-you for these children and for every moment with them. We praise You and You alone for where our family is today, and how You brought us here.

While I may not be able to take a snapshot of every instance of God's faithfulness in our lives, each family photo will be as a pile of stones - an altar of worship and praise - representing our family's journey with the Lord for the past year. The Rowan family Gilgal.

5QF

My friend Mama Bird has been answering questions on Fridays for a few weeks, and this week I could not resist joining in on Five Question Friday.

1. Do you know how to play a musical instrument?

Long ago, in a life far, far away, I briefly played piano, clarinet, and flute. I still do a stellar version of "Heart and Soul" on the piano. I've regretting giving up on piano for many years, but my pre-teen self was not too keen on the strict practice regimen.

2. What is your pet peeve while driving?

Texting while driving is my most recent pet peeve. But for years I have been driven crazy by the fools who brake for green lights as if they are yield signs!

3. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services?

Housekeeper. Absolutely. I had a housekeeper briefly when we moved, and the saddest thing in the world was when I had to take over my own housework. Even now, it brings a tear to my eye.

4. Is there a song that you hear that will take you back to the moment, like a junior high or high school dance?

Grade 7, Jennifer D. and I, anytime we were together (but especially walking around the school yard at recess.



5. What song best represents your life right now?

As I journey with my friend Deb (aka invisigirl); as I wait and hope and pray for provision for She Speaks; as I pray for so many friends and family bearing burdens (financial, cancer, teen pregnancy, unsaved loved ones), this song is the one that dominates my thoughts and prayers.



And if our God is for us,
Then what can ever stop us?
And if our God is with us,
Then what can stand against us?

Our God is greater,
Our God is stronger,
God you are higher than any other!
Our God is healer,
Awesome and Power!
Our God! Our God!

I Don't Have the Energy for That

I've noticed that us women who have struggles with anger, frustration, and impatience in our parenting seem to have one common refrain, "I know they need consistent discipline, but I just don't have the energy for that right now."

I have said it. I have heard others say it and nodded and "mmm-hmmm"ed my understanding. Today, I am compelled to call it what it is: bullcrap! (Yes, I said that on here!) The fact is, believing that I am too tired (or too ill, old, alone, worn out, beaten down, abused, hurt, whatever) to actively parent is - for most of us - buying into a lie straight from the pit of hell. (Here is where I will insert the caveat that I am referring to the general population of mothers, not to those who are in the throes of critical illness or family tragedy. In those instances, I have no doubt that "I can't handle it," is the absolute truth. These are the circumstances where family, friends, and especially the church must step in and help.)

If I am nitty-gritty honest, when I say "I just can't do it anymore! I'm so tired," what I really mean is: I am too selfish, I am too lazy, I am too busy. Too selfish to set my own agenda aside, to stop what I am doing, to focus on child-training. Too lazy to get up from the couch/office chair or walk into the next room in order to exact discipline. Too busy with my stuff (housework, ministry, writing - ahem) to take a break from the task at hand in favour of raising good people.

Funny thing is, my selfishness, laziness, and business ultimately create more work, cause me to expend more energy, and take up more time than active parenting. By being selfish, lazy, and busy, I am leadiong my children to be needy and demanding. "Mooooom, will you/ can you/ I need/ I want!" When I am doing my own thing too often, the kids will do what they can to garner my attention. Attention-seeking children can quickly turn into patience-sucking monsters, and next thing I know I am bellering at the top of my lungs in hopes of regaining control.

Out-of-control children = out-of-control mommy. But as James Dobson says, "Trying to control children by screaming is as utterly futile as trying to steer a car by honking the horn."*

So, how does one find the energy to dive wholeheartedly into the murky waters of active parenting, immediate discipline, and an in-control household? Well, I'm working on that! I'd love to hear the strategies you use, both for training your children AND for motivating yourself. What works in your home?

* Dr James Dobson, The New Dare to Discipline, pp.36

Family Funnies

Our family has been telling each other jokes for years. Dinner time last night was spent practicing our humour on one another. I thought I'd share a few of our favourites and see if you can add any good ones to the mix.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, floating in the water?
Bob.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, laying at the front door?
Matt.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall?
Art.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh...
MOO!

Of course, I always love the classics that the little kids come up with when they're first learning how to joke. Here's Kai's new funny:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Elephant.
Elephant who?
Heavy elephant.
(This one is faithfully followed by gales of laughter from the rest of the family.)

As you can see, we've got a few standard jokes kicking around. Do you have any favourite family-approved jokes we can borrow?

* This post has been linked up to Tiny Talk Tuesday at Not Before 7.

A Couple Life Lessons I'm Learning

To be a good leader: Lead in such a way that those you are leading become empowered and equipped; do your job in such a way that it can be taken over with ease. In other words, work yourself out of a job.

To be a good friend: Love in such a way that shows you are willing to sacrifice personal selfishness for your friends; make yourself indispensable. In other words, work yourself into a lifelong job.

Ministry: When God calls you to a ministry, it becomes etched in your heart. Even without a formal "ministry," you will find yourself ministering. Even if you try, you cannot turn away from the group of people whom God has given you a passion for. Also, ministry should fill you up. If you feel drained, perhaps you and God should have a chat about where you're supposed to be serving. For example, serving in the church nursery is not where I'm supposed to be (the babies and I have all learned that one together!).

Marriage: No matter how long you've been at it, it is always work. It is a constant battle between selfishness and self-sacrifice. Having a good marriage is not easy, you have to invest lots of time and energy to make it good and even more to keep it that way.

Parenting: The only rule that matters is consistency. Love and cuddle consistently, regardless of behaviour. Discipline firmly and consistently for any and all wrong behaviours. Have a consistent schedule, no matter how busy life is. Our kids are programmed to watch for weakness, and they will attack if they see any break in consistency. Also, yelling never really works (each time you yell, you have get louder in order for the little darlings to respond; this equals way too much wasted energy). FYI, parenting makes you tired. I think it's supposed to be that way.

Homemaking: Housework is no fun, but a messy house causes stress and makes it hard to show hospitality. Figure out one or two tasks that make the house look clean and make you feel calm, without having to do the whole cleaning routine. For me, clean floors and an empty sink help me relax and keep me chill if unexpected guests show up.

I'm no expert. In fact, most of the time I find myself failing in several of these areas at once. That's where the lessons get learned - in the failures. Hopefully, I will eventually remember these lessons and be able to stop learning them over and over again.

I am an Orphan

I was conceived, and the boy-child God chose to be my father made his own choice. He left. Discarded. Leaving my mother, barely more than a girl, to be both mother and father, nurturer and provider. Once in my growing years and twice in my grown years, I implored him to accept me, acknowledge me. I was told that he did not need a reminder of his sinful past. Despised.

There was a "Dad" in my world for a short hiccup in time. At least that was the name I called him. But a name does not a father make. My childhood memories of him are laced with the lingering sting of disappointment. Unloved. As a woman-child with baby growing inside, I pleaded with him to love me more than he loved his whiskey. That baby, now 12, knows nothing of this man I once called "Dad." Unwanted.

I was a teenager, and he tried to be "Dad." But in my heart I knew the truth about men. He would leave me, too. He didn't have a chance. Rather than risk more heartbreak and rejection, I turned away first. He gained the disdainful title of "step-dad" and his efforts were met with sneers and defiance. I already bore the names Discarded, Despised, Unloved, and Unwanted; I would not take the name Rejected. Instead, I gave it to him.

Time passed, life's pages turned. In the irony of this world, I chose a man who was destined to leave me. We started out a mess, did everything backwards and upside-down, we believed differently and lived as polar opposites. He didn't leave, and today he is Dad with a capital "D" and husband with a capital "L-O-V-E." But that is a story in its own right.

Time passed, life's pages turned, and he (the "step-dad") remained. I was a broken and bitter orphan, and his mistakes were repeated assurance to me that he would leave. But he did not leave. Though I named him Rejected and even Hated at times, he remained, he endured, he waited, he loved.

In my children, as all good grandparents do, he grasped onto the opportunity to rewrite his mistakes. He has laid on the floor smiling and chatting with each of my babes. He has driven remote control cars, put on pretend make-up, danced in the living room, built bird houses and sandboxes, cuddled, and wrestled. In those twelve years of seeing him be Grandpa to my brood, I watched and realized two things:

1. He will not leave me.
2. He is Dad.

I wasted many years keeping my distance, not trusting, being afraid. But the Lord is true to His Word, and He says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten." (Joel 2:25) A swarm of locusts came in and devoured my trust in men, yet God gave me Step-Dad to restore that devastation.

For those of us left orphaned, God is Father to the Fatherless. (Psalm 68:5) We can (and along the way I did) find our strength, love, and hope in His paternity. He renames us: Indispensable, Esteemed, Loved, Wanted, Accepted. But every now and then, He sees us in our hopeless state and determines to go to great lengths to show His love. In my case, He did that by giving me the desire of my broken heart - an earthly Dad.

While I may still call him Lee, his very name writes the word "Father" on my heart. He chose to be the Dad he didn't have to be.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Not long ago, while Malakai and Shea were spending the week at Grandma and Grandpa's house, I had the pleasure of overhearing the following conversation while on the phone with my mom.

Grandma was getting the kids into the bath, and just moments after she helped Kai get in we both heard him tell her, "Gama, I peed! Gama, pee!"

Before Grandma could say a word, Shea chimed in to reassure Kai, "It's okay, Kai. I do that all the time."

Needless to say, our telephone conversation was effectively over. It would have been impossible to talk over our hysterical gales of laughter.

Note to self: Make sure little people go pee before climbing in the bathtub.

Secrets to Make a Marriage Last

We are coming up on 11 years of marriage next month and the past 5 have been great! So what secrets did we unearth along the way to make things go from unbearable to enjoyable?

1. Grow up. Arguments went unresolved for days, issues were brought up over and again, and the goal was not to find unity, but to win. Eventually, we both realized that it could not always be about who was right.

2. Communicate. A little-known fact about communication: it is a two-way conversation. And the hearing part is much more important than the speaking part. I always thought communicating well was about presenting my argument better, convincing him of the superiority of my perspective. We learned that it is okay to let disagreements rest unresolved, as long as we both felt that we had been "heard."

3. Learn to speak Klingon. We all know men are from another planet, so why do we expect them to speak the same language as us? I may say "I love you" by doing his laundry or making his favorite dinner and thus expect him to say he loves me in the same way. But he prefers to say "I love you" by asking me to sit by his side and watch hockey with him. Learn what makes him understand your love, and try showing it that way. It is also okay to ask him to do the same for you.

4. Assume the best. My emotions tend to get the best of me, especially during a particular week of the month. My emotional response to careless words is, "He hurt me. He doesn't love me. He doesn't know me. He never did." My entire world shifted on its axis when I began to tell myself, "He didn't mean to hurt me. He loves me. It was not intentional. I should just forgive this and move on."

5. Laugh. We struggled with keeping our emotional cool during arguments. Things would move from heated to inferno with two misplaced words delivered on a raised voice. It was a cycle we couldn't break. So if things began to feel out-of-control, one of us would shout "Pickle!" in the midst of it. We would laugh, realize we needed to take a break, and schedule a time to revisit the issue. Annoyed by his bad habit of dropping dirty laundry on the floor, but knowing (through trial and error) that nagging would not change his habits, I offered him an apology. "Honey, I am sorry that I constantly put the laundry basket just three feet away from the spot where you'd like your dirty laundry to go." He laughed. Interestingly, the laundry is in the hamper at least 90% of the time.

6. Date. I've said it before - never underestimate the power of having time alone together doing something fun! Our dates nights help us remember that we actually like each other.

7. Absence does make the heart grow fonder! Spend time with friends. Encourage him to do the same. Same-sex friends provide an outlet that is completely different from the marriage relationship. We have found that we enjoy our time together more after having some time with friends. (As long as the time of absence is not greater than the time of being present, which is generally not very helpful for the marriage.)

8. Bless him. Recently, Pat was beyond busy at work and he was stressed. I knew that I couldn't do anything about his work, but I could reduce his stress here at home. So for those couple months, I took over the "blue" job of doing the garbages. Pat knows that I hate cooking, so on days when I'm particularly tired he frequently takes over for me.

9. Pray. For him to be the husband God wants him to be. For you to be the wife the God wants you to be. For a strong marriage. Together, if possible. We are still growing in the whole praying together thing, but I am certain that I can feel God's pleasure when we step out of our comfort zone and do it.

10. Don't neglect your "ministry." (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) If that was a bit too vague, perhaps it will help to know that this is the only ministry you will ever do fully un-clothed. (No personal examples here.)

I can't guarantee that using our secrets will work a miracle for you, but I wouldn't be surprised. After all, the fact that we are still married and happy is an absolute miracle for us!

M & M with me?

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ~Romans 12:11 (NIV)

Last weekend, while visiting the church my Aunt and Uncle attend, a banner sporting this verse caught my eye. I thought to myself, "Yes! That is what I want! I want to have zeal and fervor!"

When I come across a verse that resonates with me as this one did, I like to spend a few days meditating on it. This helps me take God's Word to heart and apply it to my life. This morning, as I begin meditating on Romans 12:11, I'm bringing you along for the ride. I am unsure if there is any proper theological basis in my method, but it works for me (and maybe it will work for you).

First, I like to look up the verse on biblegateway.com to see if there is a particular translation that I prefer. I love the word usage in the NIV for this verse - zeal and fervor are awesome words, but I gain new understanding of those words from the NIRV ("Never let the fire in your heart go out.") and the WE ("Do not hold back.") translations.

Next, I write out the verse on an index card. I stick the card in my pocket, so it's handy wherever I am. I will read and re-read the verse over the course of a few days - nothing passes the time waiting in lines better than rolling the Words of Scripture through your mind.

My usual third step is to take the key words from the passage and define them. Zeal is defined at thefreedictionary.com as: Enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance. My shorthand interpretation: Enthusiastic devotion coupled with tireless diligence. Fervor (also at thefreedictionary.com) is: 1. Great warmth and intensity of emotion, and/or 2. Intense heat. My version: On fire for the Lord.

My fourth step is to meditate (or reflect) on the passage. Like I said, my preference is to take the verse with me. Other things I've tried include posting the index card somewhere I know I will see it (computer, fridge), tucking it in the book I'm currently reading, sticking it on the sun visor of my car. Sometimes, if I feel as though I'm just not "getting" what the Lord is trying to tell me in a passage, I will write out numerous copies and do all of the above.

One of the keys to meditation is not simply to read the verse over and over. I need to ask myself (and the Lord) questions about the verse. I'll give you a few examples. How would zeal look in my life? Are there areas where I am currently serving the Lord with passion? Are there areas I am serving but lacking in passion? Do I have spiritual fervor? If not, how can I gain it? What is God trying to say to me through this verse?

The final step I take is to memorize the verse. I generally stick to reciting the verse, out loud, over and over during my morning quiet time. As the words flow from my mouth more easily, I look at the index card less. My brain isn't as quick as it once was (yes, I am getting old!), so I find that it will take me a good two weeks of daily practice to feel confident that I am quoting one verse of Scripture correctly without looking.

As instructed by Beth Moore, I keep all of my verses for the year together (she uses a little spiral-bound index card pad, I use a big ring clip thingy) and once I'm done practicing my current verse I will go back through all my previous verses for the year. This keeps them fresh in my memory, and because I have also spent time meditating on most of them their meaning stays fresh in my heart each time I review.

If you don't generally do any Scripture meditation and memorization, I'd encourage you to give this simple method a try. In fact, I have a summer-time challenge for you! If you would like to join me in 3 months of m & m, there will be prizes on September 15th for those who push through! (Okay, if there are a few of you. If, by some strange act of God moving in lots of hearts, there are more than 5 girlfriends joining in, we'll have to have a draw or something.)

I realize it's short-notice (which is almost insurmountable for a planner like me), but let's start today! If you want to join me, just stick your name in the comments of this post to let me know. Then, pick a verse (it would be handy if you posted that in the comments as well), work on it for two weeks, and we'll gather again on Wednesday, June 30th with our next verse. Don't be discouraged if it's not coming easily! Persevere. If you need to work on one verse for a month to get it deep into your heart and memory - go ahead! The important thing is that God's Word will be "alive and active" in you!*

Even if you are already in the habit of m & m, I'd love for you to join me this summer. (Keeps me accountable!) And if you currently do m & m or have in the past - do you have any special tips that work for you?


* from Believing God, Beth Moore

Because Lists Make Me Happy

As if you didn't already know that!

1. For the life of me, I cannot seem to get through "If You Want to Walk on Water You've Got to Get Out of the Boat." It's good, yet I am not getting into it!

2. I am missing all the good TV shows. Good-bye Jack Bauer, good-bye Jack Shepherd, see ya later Jethro Gibbs, congratulations Daris.

3. My family is going on their first camping trip in our new travel trailer without me this weekend. I'm a bit jealous. I may be also just a wee bit concerned (the two-year-old is FAST).

4. Totally the best post I've read this week:

5. If you are interested in helping my friends Andrew and Deborah financially as they weather the next many months, we have set up a trust fund in their name. Email me for details.

6. My Grandma is 85-years-old! And she's as spry as she was at 65.

7. I have not managed to get myself to bed before midnight since May 28.

You got any totally random things to share?

Tribe

Do you have a tribe?

Imagine if you were in need, think of the people who would rally around you. Those people are your tribe.

I've always thought I had a tribe that consisted of certain people, but I wonder which ones would really be there and stick with me through the worst that life can dish out. I might be surprised to find that my tribe is made up of different people than I expect.

What if you don't have a tribe?

Look at the people around you. God has put you in proximity and relationship with each one of those people for a reason. Take time to get to know those people. Do nice things for them. Listen. Build your own tribe.

Seeing the many people caring for my friends reminded me of the importance of having a tribe. It's amazing to me - their tribe is made up of some people they've only recently met and some who were friends 10 years ago. Men, women, family, friends, co-workers, pastors. They are deeply loved by many. They are loved because they have loved others. They have invested time, energy, prayers, finances, and more into fostering relationships. I don't know if they've ever had an acquaintance - everyone they meet is a friend.

I always tell Deb that I want to be like her when I grow up. Even more so now. To have invested wisely and reap the benefits of all the seeds of love sown - that is what some may call the good life. Relationships make life's hardships bearable. And there is an absolute guarantee that those hardships will come. Your tribe will help you survive.

Do you have a tribe?

The Writing, It's In My Blood!

About a year ago, I was telling someone about the book I've been (ever so slowly) working on. She said to me, "So, you want to be a writer, eh?" I smiled and said, "I hope so." But inside my heart was pounding in my ears and I knew something I had never acknowledged before: I already am a writer, I always have been. The only difference was that I had begun pursuing becoming a published writer.

From the moment I was able to identify words on a page, I was obsessed with reading. I would devour book after book and in-between books I would weave together stories in my head. I fancied myself an aspiring novelist - probably a romance novelist. For a sixth grade writing project I submitted a 10-page short story complete with switching back-and-forth between simultaneous scenes (at least I learned something from all the after school soap opera watching). I journalled, I made up songs, I played with poetry. Toying with words was an addiction.

Somewhere along the road of life I learned that writers don't really make any money. Kinda like artists. And in my pursuit of an actual career where a predictable income was earned I went to university for my psychology degree. I did school and work and motherhood, eventually "settling" on motherhood for a season. I re-discovered God, began living my life with Him in mind, and found myself called to ministry. All the while, this writing gene lay dormant.

A few years back, a trendy and innovative friend (thanks Louise!) introduced me to a crazy thing called "blogging." My inner rebel (the one who refuses to join into anything that's "in") wanted to resist, but I was helpless against the siren song of the written word.

My old blog started out as a G (maybe PG) rated version of an online journal, but it wasn't long before I knew I wanted to write words that had purpose. Because if - ohmygoodness - there were actually people reading my words, it mattered to me that my words would somehow point them to Jesus.

I don't know if this book in my heart will ever make it onto a publisher's desk. I don't know if I will ever be able to build a platform large enough to satisfy the publishing world's requirements. I don't even know if, when it's all down on paper, the words will make any sense whatsoever. But I do know this - writers write. It's what we do. Not necessarily because we have a project to finish or a deadline to meet. We write because it's part of us.

My hope and prayer is that the message God has placed in my heart will get out there, that it will help others, change lives, and draw women closer to God. So I will pursue that dream. (But even if it doesn't come to pass, I will keep on writing.)

As one small part of the work toward the goal of getting published, I have registered for She Speaks - a conference that offers equipping for writers, speakers, and women's ministry leaders - for the second year in a row, this time with the focus of learning how to build my platform (though I have still requested publisher meetings because, well, you never know!). While I know there are bigger things going on in the world, I would like to humbly ask for your prayers. I registered for this conference, feeling the nudge by God to do so, but knowing that we did not have the means to cover all the costs involved. Right now I sit in a place of waiting on the Lord, believing that if I really should be there He will provide. So I ask that you pray for me to be patient, to have peace, and to trust. Because I tell ya, waiting is hard!

By the way, if any publishing people out there are reading this post, I would like to assure you that my sentence structure is much more correct in book format. :)

In the Trenches Together

Do you have a friend that you would move heaven and earth for if she needed it?

I have a couple people I love so deeply that when they hurt, I hurt.

Last week I spent every waking hour with one of those special women. My home was the ICU waiting room, her friends and family became mine. I fought a few battles on her behalf and dried a few tears. I cracked inappropriate jokes to make her laugh and said curse words to share in her anger and frustration. We spent a week in the trenches together, and it was sad and beautiful all in one breath.

Lots of people are telling me that I'm so great, so sacrificial, such a good friend. But the truth is, I'm not any of those things.

I am not great, I am weak. I offered my weak efforts of encouragement, prayer, grief, and laughter. But so many others came into that place strong - warriors ready to stand and fight, intercede, and more. I was just sitting beside my girlfriend.

I am not sacrificial, I am selfish. I wanted to feel like I was doing something - needed to feel it - so I went. I certainly missed my family this week, but the greater sacrifice was offered by all those who cared for them while I was away. My husband and his dad held down the fort here with 3 school-aged kids and a dog. A kind friend served them dinner one evening. My mom and dad took care of the two little kids, as did two blessed friends during the daytime hours. My father-in-law stood in the school gym watching one child receive an award at school. My parents held down a wailing child as a doctor wove two stitches of thread through a head-gash. While I spend hours in the company of a dear friend, they did all the hard stuff.

I am not a good friend, I am a pathetic friend. So pathetic that I needed to be by her side just as much as she may have needed me there (maybe more). I took my comfort in being there, hands-on, "in the loop." In fact, there are these tiny twinges of feeling as though I'm missing out on something very special now that I am no longer having girlfriend sleepovers every night.

I can't possibly be considered great, sacrificial, or a good friend when I gained so much more than I gave. I gained a deeper, truer, realer (I know, not a word) friendship. I gained a brother and a whole bunch of extended family. I gained perspective on what and who is important. I gained wisdom about planning for the future and protecting our family in the event of crisis. I had the joy of fellowshipping (another non-word) with my old church family. I saw and heard of hundreds of miracles. I got the warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from being appreciated and needed.

It was a blessing to me, this past week. I felt so loved, so needed, so special. I thank you, Deb, for the privilege of being your friend. I am honored that you trusted me to be there with you and advocate for you. Seeing so many people love you and your family made my heart grow. And seeing your husband look at you and your kids with love in his eyes (following several days of unconsciousness) was an exceptional moment in my life. Our God is so big that I cannot possibly fathom it, but by allowing me to share in your first week of a long, long journey you allowed me a glimpse of the Miracle Worker at work. I miss you!

Going on His Strength

I'm sure lots of people haven't noticed my absence this week, but for those few friends who have I thought I'd let you know where I've been.

I am spending my time in an ICU waiting room. My friend's husband was in a serious accident, and I am here with her. Days are long and emotional. Nights are short and restless. The food is, well, hospital food. But the fellowship is blessed, the prayers are anointed, and the humour is bordering on ridiculous.

I have a thousand blog posts stirring in my mind, but limited computer access on a 15-year-old computer. (The above paragraphs took me 8 minutes to type on this sticky, old keyboard.) So they will have to wait until next week to move from my brain to my fingertips.

I ask that you be in prayer for my beautiful friend, Deborah and her family. Andrew's injuries are extensive and he has not yet regained consciousness (accident was Sat AM). The children - 5 of them - are worried and waiting. If you would like to pray specifically and be updated you can become a fan of the facebook page "Pray for Andrew Carpenter" or send me an email to be added to the distribution list. If you want to help the family, you will also find information (on facebook) about how to contribute financially and help keep things afloat for the many months of recovery and rehabilitation.

I'll be back later. Thanks for hanging out on this here blog space with me. Each and every one of you readers is a blessing and an encouragement to me. I love you like I know you!