Thursday, September 8, 2011

Life Isn't Fair

Do you remember proclaiming this truth as a kid? Anything and everything that didn't go my way was met with a whining, "It's not fair!"

My kids say it all the time (annoying). The funny thing is, they usually complain about how unfair I'm being when, in truth, what's happening is completely fair. For example, no snack right before dinner. I repeat the same line five times over, as each kid requests a snack. At least a couple of them reply with, "But Mom, that's not fair!"

My response to their proclamation varies (depending on my mood, I think). Sometimes I just ignore it. Other times I chuckle and inform them that it is fair. And periodically I let them know that, "Life isn't always fair. Get used to it." Don't you hate that?! (I hated hearing it when I was young, but now that I know how true it is, it seems I can't help myself from saying it.)

The thing is, I can easily tell my kids that life just is not fair when it comes to rules and discipline and expectations around the house. But when the unfairness is brought on by someone or something other than me...

My little man's breaking heart when I drop him off at daycare in the morning - it's not fair.

My kind and sweet daughter being picked on by a couple less kind and sweet girls in her class - it's not fair.

My special needs son being refused funding that he is eligible for based on illogical reasoning - it's not fair.

Somehow, in these situations, my standard response seems cold and uncaring.

What I want to tell them is that they deserve better. I want them to know that I will fight for them. I want to promise them that everything will be okay.

But I can't.

Because life isn't fair. In this world, you will have trouble.

My inner Mama Bear can't come crashing into a situation and make it all better for my cubs. It's not possible for me to protect them from all of life's unkindness. So what's a Mama Bear to do, when her cubs are hurting?

Offer them the only thing she can...the only assurance she has... But take heart! [Jesus] has overcome the world!

As I deliver my "baby" to daycare, I can rest in the peace and assurance that my Jesus is there with my boy, and I can pray God's blessing and protection over him.

When my girl spills out tears and heartache, I can remind her of the Help that she has to lean on and the promises He gives: plans for her, a hope, a future, peace that passes understanding, comfort, and more.

When my young man is unable to experience an opportunity, I can assure him of the equality that will one day come, of the abilities his mind and body will one day have, of how precious he is - today - in the eyes of the One who created him.

Life isn't fair. Thankfully, this life isn't all that we're here for. I just pray that this truth will imbed itself in the hearts of my children...and their Mama.


  1. Wow - AWESOME POST. You are so right! I get bent out of shape all the time for things that are not fair. Like I should be surprised!?!?! And in light of eternity, and the reality of the fallen world we live in, why do I even waste the energy getting worked up about it?!?! Thanks for this wake up call Tyler. I think I'll have to bookmark this one :)

  2. the only thing fair in life is that we all have disappointments...check out my latest post - we share similar thoughts.

  3. And in the midst of all of this, we can be so thankful that God isn't fair and doesn't give us what we deserve...instead we have Jesus, mercy, grace, forgiveness and eternal life. Thanks Tyler.

  4. I love this so much! :) It is so true, and we live in a world where we encounter the unfair every day.

    Also, I am ready to barrel in there and give those less kind kids a few less kind words of my own!! Haha I guess that's missing the point a tad. I'll try to hold back! :P

    Kristi C

  5. Great post! There's a woman in my area that continually takes down the 'no parking on street sign' in front of her house. The rest of us in our cul-de-sac follow the rules. She parks two cars on the street and does not get charged. It is so unfair! I try to remember that justice may not be served here, as I want it, but He does have His ways!


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