Dinner Table Chatter

At the supper table last night, Pat was asking each of the kids about their day. He came up with the idea of asking them if they had done something loving for someone else.

A couple of the kids named things like playing with the new student in class and sharing a toy. A couple of them couldn't think of anything.

Tables turned, and the kids asked us if we had done anything loving during the day. Pat replied that he hadn't, but he would work on it.

I was about to voice the same sentiment. I worked, I came home, but I wasn't especially kind or thoughtful to anyone.

But before I finished speaking, Shea piped up, "You got me a drink!"

Megan shouted (if you know Meg, you know that nothing she says is particularly subdued), "You made supper!"

Abbey, Braeden, and Kai all named things, too. They spoke at the same time, so all I heard was, "You clean/laundry/help/dishes/cook/bathrooms [garbledegook]!"

They were mostly naming my jobs around the house, so I felt compelled to correct them. I think it was the guilt - because I do all those things, but not necessarily with love in my heart.

But when Shea proclaimed, "Wow, Mom! You sure do a lot of stuff!" everyone's laughter would have drowned out my objections.

Don't you just love those family moments filled with laughter?

I Love My Kids, But Do I Like Them?

I recently listened to a commentary on Titus 2 that honed in on the phrase, "teach the younger women to love their husbands and children." I heard something new, something that I had never considered...

The word "love" in that passage is translated to the Greek word "philos." Philos refers to friendship.

As I listened, I wrote a note to myself, "Am I a friend to my kids? Do they feel as though I like them?"

My kids know I love them. I have no doubt of that. But do they feel liked by me? Do they feel as though I enjoy spending time with them? Do we have fun together? Do I tell them that I like them for who they are? Do I treat them with the same care and respect I do a friend, or even an acquaintance?

Sadly, I can't be sure.

But this is something I need to be sure about. So here are a few things I think I can do to let my kids know I really like them:

- Really listen and respond when they have something to tell me. Look at them and pay attention.

- Be willing to set aside my duties in order to do something fun.

- Say yes more often than no.

- Laugh more.

- Smile more.

- Tell them the things I like about them. Every day.

On the first day of school, the kids and I played a board game together when they got home. We had grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, and the dog hair never got swept up, but I'm pretty sure everyone crawled into bed with a smile that night.

And you know what I realized? I really do like my kids!

What do you do (or could you start doing) to help your kids (or husband, or parents...) see that you really do like them?

The Man in the Mirror

Braeden has this teenage boy thing he does every time he's in the bathroom - he stops and admires himself in the mirror. His self-admiration is usually accompanied by a self-conversation.

The other day as he was getting in the shower, I overheard him chatting. Like any self-respecting mother, I decided to pause outside the door and eavesdrop for just a moment. I heard him telling his mirror self, "You are just like Justin Bieber! You are Justin Bieber!"

I chuckled and told myself I had to remember that one.

After the shower, Braeden approached me with a question. I didn't have an answer for him, so I sent him to his Dad. (I probably could've answered, but I knew it would be more fun if Pat and I could chat and giggle about it later.)

"Dad," Braeden said, "I need to ask you something."

"What's up, Buddy?"

"I need some tips."

"Huh? Tips? What do you mean?"

"Tips. About girls. How do you get girls to like you? You know, like Justin Bieber."

I realize that Braeden may not appreciate me sharing this (and no, I didn't ask his permission). But seriously, how stinkin' cute is that?! I simply must keep this story on hand for future blackmail humiliation use!

TV Makes Your Brains Fall Out

courtesty of cartoonstock.com

In my third year of University, I was thrilled to be enrolled in a course called The Psychology of Media and its Effects on Children's Development. I had no doubts about my ability to get an A in that course. I mean really, we all know that kids who watch too much TV grow up to be sociopaths and serial killers! Right?

At that time, my first born child was a little over a year old. He was in daycare 30-40 hours per week while I went to school. He wasn't all that into TV yet.

Fast forward a few years... I had a five-year-old with special needs, a one-year-old whose constant fussiness had our neighbours concerned, and a newborn. Oh, did I mention post-partum depression? Television became my friend - especially during the dreaded after school dinner-prep hour.

I rolled my eyes at all the idealistic parents who bought into the psychobabble about the dangers of TV and video games.

Fast forward a few more years...

We have a teenager now, and four others younger than him. That teenager has the typical teen response to video games - complete and utter obsession. We cracked jokes about it, and we eventually began limiting his gaming time, but mostly viewed it as a normal teen thing. While the other four kids aren't too heavy into the games, they can vegetate in front of the screen for hours, soaking up episode after episode of Hannah Montana, Suite Life on Deck, and the like.

Due to a long series of incidents and their consequences that aren't worth explaining on thishereblog, we've implemented a couple changes. One is that the TV no longer gets turned on during the school week. The other is that all video games (with the exception of hand-held ones that are kept in my possession) are gone.

Initially, these changes were intended to serve as punishment. And I expected to be punished just as badly as the kids. What in the world would they do?! They would surely make me crazy!!!

Those changes have now become permanent decisions. Not because I think TV is evil. Not because I think it makes kids mean or dumb or violent or lazy. But because I know...that too much time watching TV and playing video games was having an effect on my kids' attitudes. I know that we needed to make a change for the benefit of our family. And I know that this change has had a positive impact on everyone in our family, including the parents.

In University, I was sure I knew it all. As a young mom, I made a total 180 and was still sure I knew it all. In both cases, I was prideful and judgemental. And wrong.

That's what I love about God. He's not content to let us stay the way we are. God knows I'm so much better at serving Him when I'm humble and too busy changing and growing to be looking at what others are doing.

You know what makes your brains fall out? Thinking you know it all, that you've got it right and everyone else has it wrong, and that your way is the only way.

Thankfully, humbling yourself before God, being willing to learn and change, and doing things that other people may not "get" or agree with will help get your brain firmly back in place.


(Thought you might like to know... That "easy A" course? Not so easy at all! In fact, after the midterm I was failing. Turns out we actually had to learn the details of the research, not just the general concept that "TV makes your brains fall out." Don't worry, I pulled it off! *wink*)

Recent questions I've been asked...

I get all the tough questions around here.


Abbey (9) has been reading her Bible. I think she's in Deuteronomy now.
     "Mom, what's a virgin?"

I think she knew the answer, but was testing to see if I would tell her the truth. And if I'd be embarrassed.


Malakai (3) came bursting into the washroom while I was using the facilities. I told him he had to wait or find another bathroom to use.
     "Okay. But next time, can you stand up so we can pee together?"

Thanks Pat, for teaching him that trick! I had fun trying to explain why this was not possible.


And some people think being a stay at home mom is boring! Ha! Never a dull moment around here.

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Another Kindergarten mom was scheduled to visit yesterday afternoon. She's pretty well known by all the kids at school, as she does lunch supervision. Shea (6) and her little dude are buddies.

Yesterday, Shea was lined up for the bus after school (they're dismissed before noon each day), and she saw Mrs. H. heading in the doors for lunch duty. Shea gleefully proclaimed, "I know you and N and coming over today!"

Mrs. H. said, "You're right, Shea. Is there anything you'd like me to bring along?" (Thinking maybe there was a particular toy N owned that Shea had seen previously and would want to play with it.)

Shea, totally casual and matter-of-fact says, "I would like chicken nuggets, french fries, sauce, and an iced tea, please."

Do you think we have McDonald's with our playdates a little too often?

Oh, and Mrs. H. delivered. :)

Kids and Money

It seems like every time we go somewhere, at least one of my kids will ask for something. The most commonly asked question in our family must be, "Can we have a treat?"

I'll confess my responsibility... Used to be that I couldn't walk through a store without getting myself a treat, either. So I was more than happy to fulfill their requests.

Until I realized the amount of money that gets wasted over the course of a month by simply getting little treats a few times per week.

In an effort to change this whole pattern, we decided to try doing allowances with our kids. The idea was that if they have a little bit of their own money to get a treat with, the continual asking will end. Hopefully, this would have the added benefit of teaching our kids some money management skills that we seem to be lacking.

Here's what we've been doing:

- Each child begins by getting the amount of money that's equivalent to their grade level. (So allowance begins in grade 1 with $1 per week.)

- The allowance cap is $3. (Meaning no one will ever receive more than $3 per week.) If you're wondering on the reasoning for this, it's partly that we don't want anyone to have too much money; the purpose really is for a treat or two. As well, once everyone's getting allowance, we'll be paying out $15 per week!

- Prior to putting any spending money in their piggy banks, the kids must first put 10% of their allowance in their tithe jar and another 10%in their savings jar. (The savings jar is not to save up for a big item, but rather to learn the habit of building a savings fund for emergencies. If they want big items, they'll need to save in their piggy banks.)

We've been handing out allowance for about two months now, and I am just not sure it's serving its purpose. The kids are asking for treats less frequently, but they are constantly asking to be taken to the store! And I must admit that it's a bit of a headache to remember to get $8 in change every weekend.

So here's what I want to know...

Do you do allowance? (Or have you ever?)

How much?

Does allowance have to be earned?

Can allowance be lost?

And do you feel that having an allowance is an important part of learning how to manage money?

Don't Put The Kids First

Mothers today are Superwomen and martyrs. The more sacrifices we make, the better we are at our job. While this little rule is more unspoken, the proof of our mindset lies in our standard answer to the question, "How are you?" The response I hear most often from my mom friends isn't "Good" as you'd expect. Nope. Us Supermoms love to be able to say, "Busy!"

Another symptom of Supermom syndrome is the classic phenomenon we refer to as the kids come first. This translates into putting the care, feeding, attention, and activities of the children ahead of one's own needs. However, this phenomenon also frequently translates into putting the children's needs ahead of their Daddy's needs.

Here are three reasons to adjust your family priorities and start putting the kids last...

1. We have but eighteen (or so) short years with each child. With our men, Lord willing, we have a whole lifetime. If all of our time and energy is poured into the children, we will be lost and without purpose when they're gone.

2. Putting your man first is, technically, meeting your children's deepest desire. No one wants you and your husband to stay married more than your children do! Pour your energy into keeping the marriage healthy, and they will be the beneficiaries.

3. Modelling for our children how a healthy marriage works will prepare them to look for and be a good spouse. In a household where Mommy and Daddy's relationship comes first, the children learn how to honour their spouse above all others.

The priorities of the typical Superwoman look something like this:
- Kids, kids, kids
- House
- Friends, family, ministry, work
- Marriage
- Self

The priorities of the "new" Superwoman look a little like this:
- Self (Because I'm worth it!)
- Work
- Kids, house, family, friends, ministry
- Marriage

The priorities of the Godly Superwoman ought to look more like this:
- God
- Marriage
- Kids
- Other relationships (friends, family)
- Other stuff God calls her to (house, work, ministry, self)

Healthy marriages make healthy families. Healthy families build healthy communities and churches. Healthy curches and communities grow healthy cities, countries, and so on.

So I say, if we've got kids, we stop putting them first and instead pour that energy into building up our men and our marriages. We could change the world right from our own living rooms.

Are your priorities in order?

(I know mine need some work...)

Blech

Sick kids in our house these days. Last night was a doozy. Rather than boring you to tears or completely disgusting you with details, I'm going to have a nap.

Be blessed. Stay warm. And hey, while you're here, why don't you share you favourite family Christmas tradition?

For years, I bought each child a new ornament to hang on the tree in early December. I think this tradition went by the wayside for a couple years when life got crazy busy. I would like to renew this tradition, though. Perhaps I'll pick it up again this year. (If I'm ever able to leave the house again!)

Spa Day

Every now and then, a nice, relaxing day at the spa

(aka Mom's room with spa music piped in and the lights dimmed)

is in order.

Family Funnies

Our family has been telling each other jokes for years. Dinner time last night was spent practicing our humour on one another. I thought I'd share a few of our favourites and see if you can add any good ones to the mix.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, floating in the water?
Bob.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, laying at the front door?
Matt.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall?
Art.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh...
MOO!

Of course, I always love the classics that the little kids come up with when they're first learning how to joke. Here's Kai's new funny:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Elephant.
Elephant who?
Heavy elephant.
(This one is faithfully followed by gales of laughter from the rest of the family.)

As you can see, we've got a few standard jokes kicking around. Do you have any favourite family-approved jokes we can borrow?

* This post has been linked up to Tiny Talk Tuesday at Not Before 7.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Not long ago, while Malakai and Shea were spending the week at Grandma and Grandpa's house, I had the pleasure of overhearing the following conversation while on the phone with my mom.

Grandma was getting the kids into the bath, and just moments after she helped Kai get in we both heard him tell her, "Gama, I peed! Gama, pee!"

Before Grandma could say a word, Shea chimed in to reassure Kai, "It's okay, Kai. I do that all the time."

Needless to say, our telephone conversation was effectively over. It would have been impossible to talk over our hysterical gales of laughter.

Note to self: Make sure little people go pee before climbing in the bathtub.

Good Girls Like Tough Guys

All the ladies are going to love this one. Cute and tough.

For inquiring minds - Kai's shiner is totally self-inflicted. He stole the grate/cover off the bottom of my fridge, then ran away. While running from one room to the next, he tripped over the floor edging (from lino to hardwood). Unfortunately, he was holding the grate thingie back-side-up, with the little, metal clips pointing right at his face. Fortunately, the clip caught him under the eye and not in the eyeball. As an added side-benefit, he hasn't touched my fridge since!

Just Me

Before reading this post... If you haven't seen them yet, two posts went up yesterday to commemorate our two April birthday girls - Megan and Shea.

Now, I would just like to clear the air a bit. My friend, Bobbie, was certain that Shea's birthday post was going to double as a pregnancy announcement. Let it be said, on the record, that I do not ever expect to be making such an announcement again.

I am fully aware that God can do whatever He chooses, and He may choose to heal the 2nd surgical procedure just as He did the first. But the more time that passes the less likely it seems. And I am beginning to be okay with that. Once we're done with diapers, I am fairly certain I won't want to return to that stage in our lives.

Real life right now is busy, bordering on hectic. Pat's hours of work have been beyond ridiculous - not that I'm complaining, because it's only for a short season in our lives and only once every 4 years or so. Regardless, that is leaving me as the sole caregiver, housekeeper, chauffeur, affection provider, and disciplinarian. There are moments where I might just be feeling a little overwhelmed. (Yes, you can feel free to pray for us!)

Therefore, five is enough. Especially when one has special needs, one has oppositional defiant disorder (Mom-diagnosed only, not professionally), and one has mischief running through every vein. If you're counting, that only leaves two children NOT making Mommy insane!

I realize that this post was mostly me venting. Not at all inspirational, not well-written, not fun or funny. Thanks for being here and listening reading. Sometimes it's really good to just spill it all out to a girlfriend. ;)

Tiny Talk Tuesday - 04/27/10

One of my lovely children to me:



Mom, you have a HUGE zit on your cheek!



Gee, I didn't notice. Thanks for pointing that out!

Things that Make Me Happy

1. Clean floors.
2. An empty email inbox.
3. Sorted papers.
4. Sunshine.
5. The sound of children playing (and not fighting).
6. Taco night. *
7. Family movie night. *
8. Laundry clean, folded, and put away. *
9. Tired puppies.
10. Clean bathrooms.

Today was a productive day. :)

* Will happen shortly.

Saturday Morning Visit - 03/06/10

7:35am in Alberta, Canada

Dirty, half-melted snow. We're holding onto hope that the melt continues, but being realistic enough to keep in mind that there will be another dump of the white stuff before March's end. (And yes, we can see into our neighbour's house. Either the house is vacant or the new neighbours are hiding out after hearing the noise brought on by five kids and a dog.)

To see what Saturday morning looks like in Louisiana, go visit 40 Shades of Pink.

(A Cheesy) Wordless Wednesday

(If I didn't have a blog, I never would have paused - laughing - to take a picture. His hindquarters are very happy that mommy has a blog.)

Saturday Morning Visit - 02/27/10

Alberta, 6:45am (posted later once the Mommy had some coffee in her system)

Sucking thumbs, snuggling blankies, watching Sesame Street.

To see Sat AM in Louisiana, go here. To post your Sat AM visit - take a pic, put in a post, leave your link in the comments. :)

(Belated) Saturday Morning Visit - 02/15/10

To see what Saturday morning looks like in Louisiana, visit 40 Shades of Pink.

Alberta Winter
Saturday, February 13th, noonish...