Dissatisfied

I recall a few times in my life when I was truly 'others focused.'

I thought about how I could bless someone else before I thought about what I wanted. If a friend was in need, I would sacrifice my own desires in order to be there for them. I was open and listening to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit, even though adjusting my own plans was an inconvenience.

I had a heart to serve others. But it appears I had an undiagnosed heart attack along the way.

These days, serving others seems to be the exception to the rule.

The rule: Convenience, comfort, my plans, my timeline... Self.

My schedule is pretty full, so instead of dropping the housework in order to join a friend at the playground we fumble around trying to schedule a coffee/play date in a gap in our calendars. I don't have any $1 or $2 coins handy - only the $50 bill I've set aside to put in a wedding card - so I tell the man humbly begging for money in the grocery store parking lot that I'm sorry. I've grown weary and discouraged of being the sole initiator in a couple relationships, so I just gave up and let go.

Sure, there have been moments mixed in there... Moments of generosity, of self-sacrifice, of offering up my time and resources to serve others. But having spent great lengths of time in a culture of 'giving life' to others, I'm no longer satisfied with moments.

The occasional generosity lesson won't teach me all that God wants me to learn; I need full immersion.

The longer we walk with God, the more willingly we serve and obey Him, the less satisfied we become with a life that is anything less than radical.

We grow restless when we feel 'settled,' because we've experienced the Holy Spirit inspired rush that comes with living a life of sacrifice. We are dissatisfied with mediocre, for our hearts have lived the passionate outpouring of full-out serving God and others.

So as I seek (once again) to live a life that leaves me unsettled but inspired, self-sacrificial but passionate, uncomfortable yet wildly blessed, this verse thrums in my spirit...

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
~ Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing...nothing...not even one thing. Value others above yourself. Do nothing - no, not a single thing - with selfish motivations. Nothing...

It's a challenge issued to us - believers. A challenge to "up our game." To serve wholeheartedly rather than half-heartedly. To be willing to give up some self for the love of others.

I've decided to accept the challenge. Will you?

An Everyday Offering

Take your everyday, ordinary life -

your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life -

and place it before God as an offering.

~ Romans 12:1 (Msg)

I often feel like I need to offer God something big. That if I don't make a massive sacrifice, I'm not really loving and serving Him.

But I'm beginning to think that this way of thinking is actually more selfish than self-sacrificial.

The grand gesture is...well...grand. It's an event. It's notable. It often brings us glory. Oh, look how willing they are to serve God! It's, dare I say, easier.

Easier than...

...choosing not to call the driver who keeps braking for green lights an idiot.

...turning away from the dishes to make eye contact with a child telling you an nonsensical story.

...taking time to talk to God before sitting down with email, Facebook, TV, etc. - daily.

...thanking your husband for all that he does and choosing to hold your tongue on those things you wish he'd do differently.

...heading to work with joy in your heart and on your face, even if (or especially if) your job stinks.

It's easier to go on a big diet for a month than to change your eating habits every day for the rest of your life.

But God isn't satisfied with our crash diet acts of service. He longs for our everyday, our ordinary. The daily laying down of our own wants, our bad habits, and our selfish attitudes - these are the offerings He desires.

This is the hard stuff, the true sacrifice... An everyday offering.

The Crossroads

I am not generally an anxious person. I tend not to worry about things. Except for money, that is. For some reason tough money issues can plague my thoughts for hours upon hours. But I digress; that's an topic for another post. The point is, if I can't change it or have zero control over it, I usually won't fret about it.

Yesterday, I carried a massive knot in my stomach from the moment I woke. It didn't subside when I took 15 minutes to read a new novel. It wouldn't let go during small group fellowship. It's still there now. Thinking back, I didn't sleep well at all the night before last - I was probably all tied up in knots already.

The only word I can find to describe the emotion that is causing my discomfort is anxiety.

I am anxious about putting my baby in day care, when he still resisted preschool after 10 months of regular attendance.

I am anxious about the days where the older children may arrive home on the school bus slightly before I make it home after work.

I am anxious that I won't be able to hack the pressure of being Mommy and employee.

I am anxious that I'll get too busy and my writing and speaking opportunities will fritter away.

I am anxious about what to cook for dinner for the entire month of September.

As I write out my worries, I feel the knot in my gut my climbing up into the back of my throat.

I pause for a moment and wonder what this is all about. It's not like me to worry and fret. It's not like me to play the "what if" game. And when I bump into feelings and reactions that are just "not me," I remember that I have an enemy who likes to try and fill my head with lies. Lies with just enough truth behind them to be believable.

The father of lies wants me to worry that I can't do it... But I have a different Father, and my Daddy says something different.

The truth is, apart from Jesus, I can do nothing. (John 15:5)

The truth is, I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:13)

The truth is, God has a good plan for me that involves hope and a future, not disaster. (Jer. 29:11)

The truth is, He didn't give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love. (2 Tim. 1:7)

So here I sit, hearing whispered lies yet knowing the truth. I'm at a crossroads, and I must choose. Will I believe the one who says I am weak, the one who predicts my failure, the one who wants me to walk through my days afraid? Or will I believe the One who loves me and has adopted me as His own child? (Eph. 1:5)

Whom will I believe?

And you - when you feel weak, afraid, weary, incompetent - whom will you believe?

I receive these words as a healing balm over my soul, and in turn pray them over you today...

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

~ Ephesians 3:16-21

Just a Mom - Q & A, installment 1

Let me take a moment to re-introduce myself.

Hi, I'm Tyler. I'm a chronic over-committer.

You see, my girls are getting ready to go to camp. I'm getting ready for a family vacation. I've got shopping and packing to do, articles to write, errands to run, and kids to keep alive. So it's kinda not a good week for my first venture into vlogging.

I know, excuses, excuses. You should actually thank me, though. It's a really bad (read: gross, greasy, unshowered) hair day today. You didn't want to see that on video.

I will, however, answer some questions for you.

The first question I’ll answer in my Just a Mom series was left by Jen (aka Daddy’s Girl):

I have enjoyed reading this series Tyler, but I guess at this point in life, I am super hungry for how your advice ties into Scripture…

Thanks for asking, Jen!

I try to be cautious in my writing, that I’m not saying anything that is not backed up in Scripture. But I don’t always include those Scripture references in my blog posts.

There are a few reasons for this:
- Sometimes inserting a Biblical reference just won’t fit with the tone and style of the writing.
- Sometimes it’s a word count issue.
- If I’m totally honest, there are times I’m either too rushed or too lazy. (Just keepin' it real, people.)
- But most often it’s because I hope that you will be intrigued and pull out your Bible to see if it backs up what I’m saying.

I want to encourage you to continually check what you hear against the Word of God. Never, ever take anything any teacher tells you at face value! (Not even what I say.) If you want your relationship with God to be personal, you need to ask Him to speak to you personally by giving revelation from His Word.

First, I’ll share with you the particular passage that inspired this whole series. Then, I’ll give you a list of passages to look up on your own.

My favourite verse, the one that has motivated me to serve God beyond my role as a mother, is a clear, Biblical command to women:

Titus 2:3-5 (NLT) says, “Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.”

While there are some clear directions to us women about how we should live our lives, I don't believe that is the intended focus of this passage. Rather, the key point is the fact that the older women are supposed to train the younger women.

As a young mother, I was tempted to brush off this passage as “not applicable” to me. I was the younger woman. (Heck, I’m still pretty young! Right?) Maybe you’re like me, thinking that this passage doesn’t apply. However, there is always a woman younger than you. She could be physically younger, spiritually younger, or in a younger stage of family-raising.

In other words, you are the older woman!

Your job, as the older woman, is to pass along the things that you learn. And not just the things about raising kids, keeping the house, and being a good wife. It says “teach what is good, to live wisely, to be pure, to do good.”

When I look up the word “good” in Strong’s concordance, I see that the Greek word is agathos. Agathos means: of good constitution or nature; useful, salutary; good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy; excellent, distinguished; upright, honorable.

This same word – agathos – is paired with the word “do” and/or the word “works” throughout the New Testament. Some examples are:

- Matthew 19:16-17
- Galatians 6:10
- Ephesians 2:10
- Colossians 1:10
- 1 Timothy 2:10 and 5:10 (which, incidentally, are verses directed toward women)
- 2 Timothy 2:21 and 3:17
- Titus 3:1
- Hebrews 13:21
- 1 Peter 3:10-11

All that to say… We – women – are commanded to do good works, aka service or ministry, in addition to being keepers of the home, Godly wives, and loving mothers.

Now I’ll give you a few Scripture references to search out on your own. And I’d like to suggest that you look each passage up in a few different translations of the Bible. Some words lose their meaning in translation, but reading them in a different translation may provide you with a greater understanding of their meaning.

1. You were created to serve – Jeremiah 1:5 (NCV).
2. You were saved so that you could serve – 2 Timothy 1:9 (LB)
3. You belong to God, therefore you should serve – Romans 7:4 (TEV)
4. You were gifted by God so that you would contribute your unique gifts in service. Your contribution is vital. – 1 Corinthians 12:4-27 (NIV)

How to Thrive

In the past couple of years, we've spent time in a number of churches. Two stood out to me as churches that are "thriving."

Thrive:
- grow vigorously
- make steady progress
- to flourish
- grow fast and stay healthy

Others appeared to be merely surviving. They weren't dying, by any means, but they were just plugging along doing what they had always been doing.

I find myself in plain old surviving mode periodically. Okay, that was a lie. I spend most of my time in that mode. Not dying, but definitely not thriving, just surviving.

I'll think of my marriage and say, "It's good. It's way better now than it was a few years ago. Sure, it could probably be better. But we're okay."

The same can often be said of my walk with God, family, finances, and ministry... "I'm fine." Not great, not amazing, not fantastic, but fine.

Surviving = fine. Thriving = better.

So here's what I noticed at those two churches that are thriving - the one thing that stood out as different about them. They were (and are) changing. Always changing. Constantly tweaking. Willing to try new things, welcoming to new people and ideas, open to allowing God's direction - even if it meant making the occasional U-turn.

So how does one move beyond surviving to thriving?

Do something new. Try something different. Accept suggestions. Be open and willing to change direction, even if it means heading in the opposite way from which you were going.

Yep, change can be scary. Terrifying, even. But things that are static, unchanging, immovable - they cannot grow. Eventually their resistance to change will lead to death.

A marriage that is okay for too long, without new inspiration or true investment in growing together, becomes one with difficult patches. The ministry that keeps the same old six people in charge for years at a time, without the introduction of new people with fresh ideas, becomes stale. The faith walk that coasts with God, without going out on a limb to try doing something truly sacrificial for Him, becomes stagnant.

In order to thrive, we need to be brave. Brave enough to stop doing the same old stuff and try something new.

But forget all that —
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
~ Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT, emphasis mine)

What are of your life are you simply surviving in right now? What change can you implement so that you might begin to thrive?


A re-post from the archives.

An Ordinary Offering

Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering.
~ Romans 12:1 (Msg)

It's easy to give our big offerings and life situations to God.

Look, Lord, I tithed!

Check this out, God, I'm going on a missions trip.

I place this life or death situation in your hands, Lord, because it's out of my control.

But the regular, ordinary, boring day-to-day stuff... That's not so easy.

Lord, I will scrub the toilet cheerfully because it's the work You've called me to today.

Father, I trust You with my child's poor grades.

I will have coffee with my neighbour as a way of giving You worship, God.

That's a little more weird, isn't it? Yet I'm convinced that this is exactly what Paul is referring to in Romans. The everyday offering.

Put into action, what might an everyday offering look like?

For me, I think it means that I need to pause and do an attitude check. Am I engaging in an activity with joy, as an act of service for God and others? Or am I moving ahead with an attitude of obligation?

It applies not only to my actual "service" things (such as volunteering with women's ministry and the Logos Society), but my day-to-day "duties" like cooking dinner, helping the kids fill their juice cups, dealing with the news that my husband has to work late...

Practically speaking, what does this verse mean to you?

A Formula for Spirtual Growth

A question that today's Christian women frequently ask is:

How do I incorporate regular time with God/devotional/Bible reading/prayer time/etc. into my busy days?

courtesy of 3-b-c.eu

I wish I could help you find daily time with God by giving you three easy steps. It would make a great book, wouldn't it? Three Easy Steps to Spiritual Growth for Today's Busy Woman. I have a confessionn to make - there is no formula for spirtual growth.

I'll be honest, the reason I can't give you a nice formula to follow is because I don't fully have it figured out, either. While I am now in a season where I usually do spend daily time doing one or another of the above-listed things, I know that this is just that - a season. Figuring out how to make time for spiritual growth is different for each of us. What works for me may not work for you. What worked well during one season of life may not be feasible for another season.

The secret to growing in relationship with the Lord isn't so much what you do or how you do it as it is the intent of your heart.

If you desire a deeper relationship with Him, and you are continually trying to find ways to make that happen, you will find Him close to you.

If, on the other hand, you say that you desire a deeper relationship with Him, but you are continually making excuses not to try new ways to make that happen, you will feel distance.

So, if the desire of your heart is to know God more, here are some things you can try. If something doesn't work for you, whether due to personality or your season of life, that's okay. Just try something else.

1. Start your day with God.

When you wake up, before you roll yourself out of bed, take a moment to focus your heart on God. Ask Him to go with you wherever you are throughout your day; ask for His guidance and intervention; ask that you feel His presence; and ask that your thoughts and actions that day be pleasing to Him. If you're a morning shower-er, that's also a great time for prayer.

You'll find that the focus of your day is different when you begin this way.

2. Spend your whole day with God.

At each juncture of your day, each pause, each interruption, each transition, take a moment to talk to God. Tell Him how something made you feel. Ask for His help. Thank Him for the beauty you see. Praise Him for the things that go smoothly.

We tend to compartmentalize our lives, keeping work and God in different drawers. Bringing God to work with you (whether it be in the marketplace or at home) will change your perspective.

3. Spend your stolen moments with God.

In each week, we can be presented with countless moments of time-killing. Waiting rooms, in the bathroom, standing in line, "watching" our kids' activities... Instead of reading a magazine or playing on your phone, read a small snippet of Scripture. Ask God to show you how that verse (or passage) can make a difference in your life.

While we often say we're too busy for Bible reading or prayer time, the fact is that we all have time in our days for Facebook or Twitter, reading a novel, playing Angry Birds, catching up on the latest Brangelina gossip. Instead of thinking, "I have to make time for God," try thinking, "I need to choose to use some of my leisure time for God."

What about the spiritual disciplines?

* Bible reading
* intercessory prayer
* Scripture memorization
* private worship
* corporate worship
* Bible studies
* tithing
* ministry
* missions
* community outreach

Each one of these spiritual disciplines is a vital part of our walk with God. But our relationship with Him is not conditional upon these disciplines.

Let me say it again, because it is so important...

Spiritual disciplines are a vital part of our walk with God, but our relationship with Him is not conditional upon them.

The moment we begin to view those disciplines as a checklist, we betray the true character of God.

God doesn't say "I'll love you when/if/because." No, He loves us with an everlasting love.

He doesn't promise to answer us only if we do this, that, and the other thing. No, He says that if we call to Him He will answer us.

God knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your schedule. And every bit of time you dedicate to knowing Him better puts a smile on His face.

Give Him your heart, ask Him to work in your schedule, and seek Him at the start of your day, throughout your day, and in the stolen moments of your day... I promise you, you will grow and your relationship with God will become more intimate.

In time and in season, the other disciplines will follow.

I Have an Eating Disorder

Actually, I have two.

Anorexia...of the soul

Many times, I starve myself of the very sustenance that I require for survival. My very spirit is cramped up with hunger pains, yet I do not eat the Bread of Life. Malnourishment sets in.

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."
~ John 6:35

Binge Eating...of the flesh

Other times, I indulge and overindulge until I am bloated. My flesh devours all that it desires until no room remains for the Living Water. Disease sets in.

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
~ John 4:10

I waste away when I believe the lie that can make it through the day without first dining on good food. My anorexia is rooted in self-sufficiency. Pride. I swell and fester when I believe the lie that the things of this life can fill me up. My binge eating is rooted in selfishness. Lust.

The only cure for my disorders is a lifestyle change.

The only cure for pride is humility. On my knees, humbly acknowledging that I cannot survive one single minute without the Bread of Life. For lustful cravings, rejection and replacement. I must reject that which I crave, replacing it with a longing to fill up on the Living Water.

The only path to this lifestyle change is a daily feast. Not a feast reserved for certain days of the week. Not a feast in only hard times or good times. A daily feast. Every day, devouring the soul nutrients contained in the Word of God, quenching my thirst on His Word alone, dining at His banquet table.

Here I am! I stand at the door and know. if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
~ Revelation 3:20

Do you need a lifestyle change, too?


* a re-post from the archives

On Hold

Do you ever feel stuck?

You have big dreams, hopes, and plans...but nothing's happening.

You have aspirations for advancement at work...but no raise or promotion are in sight.

You have a vision of your marriage and how it should/could/would be...but it's mediocre.

You have a mental picture of how your kids will act, what they will become, who they will be...but they're the same old bickering bunch of monkeys day after day.

You have a commission from God to do mighty things for His Kingdom...but no one seems to be seeking you out.

You have a financial freedom plan outlined...but the cycle of debt seems endless.

Your passions, ideas, and wishes all seem to be in a perpetual state of on hold. (cue elevator music version of the classic 80s rock genre)

You find yourself wondering...
      Is anything ever going to happen?!
      Did I hear wrong?
      Do I need to adjust my goals?
      Maybe it's time to just give up and move on.

-----------------------------------------------

Three failed adoption attempts leave a couple discouraged, defeated, and hopeless that they'll ever have the family they've dreamed of.

Fifteen years of prayer and enduring a marriage to an alcoholic, a husband wonders if he heard wrong when he thought God promised restoration.

Years of emptiness, loneliness, and the demands of being the only one, a single mother loses hope that God can do anything in her life but simply get her through.

Passed over for a raise...again...he loses hope that he'll ever be more than just a labourer.

-----------------------------------------------

When you're on hold, this is the time that you must let go.

Let go of that which ties you down to this world. Let go of the lie that happiness can only be found in earthly success. Let go of the idea that you are in control.

A man stopped Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

"If you want to give it all you've got," Jesus replied, "go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me."

That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crest-fallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn't bear to let go.

~ Matthew 19:16, 21-22 (Msg)

When you're on hold, this is the time that you must hold on.

Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever. I have told you this explicitly because even though you have seen me in action, you don't really believe me.

Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me. And once that person is with me, I hold on and don't let go. I came down from heaven not to follow my own whim but to accomplish the will of the One who sent me.

~ John 6:35-38 (Msg)

Hold on to the One who holds your dreams in His hands. Hold on to the only Source of hope and joy. Hold on and don't let go.

When life is stuck on hold, and you're haunted by what could have been but is not and never appears to be - let go. And then hold on.

Is there something that you need to let go of today? Are you holding on to the right thing?

Where is Your Mission Field?

The Spirit of the LORD God

has taken control of me!

The LORD has chosen and sent me

to tell the oppressed the good news,

to heal the brokenhearted,

and to announce freedom

for prisoners and captives.

~ Isaiah 61:1 (CEV)

What does this passage mean to you?


Who are the oppressed, the brokenhearted, the prisoners, and the captives?


How has God called you, specifically, to minister to them?

Where is your mission field?

My Heart is Overcome with Your Song

The LORD your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.

~ Zephaniah 3:17

It Is Finished

Have you ever read the book of Leviticus? If not, I do understand! I've been reading it in the Message for the past long while. (I was hoping that it would be an easier read in that translation; turns out that routines, rituals, and repetition don't really translate differently.)

Every time I settle in to read, I ask God, Why? Why all the rules, rituals? Why all the sacrifices? I mean, how busy poor Aaron must have been!

This morning as I read still more of Leviticus, I wondered as usual. I could see that, in part, God was providing a way to protect the Israelites from infectious disease (skin rashes and being unclean). I could see that God was providing some good hygiene guidelines (bathing after menstruation and such). Yet I still questioned, Lord, in the New Testament we are cautioned against being legalistic, even reprimanded for it, so why did You dictate all these laws?

I was struck by the contrast between those detailed instructions for the Israelites, and the new instructions for the Christ-followers. Polar opposites. How could they appreciate the freedom of the new way without the stark contrast to the old way?

My mind flashed to an image of a priest, dressed in white, leaning over a ram, holding it fast and tight, slashing its throat as a sacrifice. Superimposed with that was a visual of Christ, hanging from the cross at the brink of death, His Father behind Him, arms around Him holding fast and tight. The final sacrifice. The final burnt offering. The last wave offering. The need for atonement offerings complete. It is finished takes on new meaning.

How can we possibly appreciate the freedom of the new way without an understanding of the old way?

My many weeks of Why? answered in an instant. And this weekend we just celebrated the culmination of all those years of sacrifices.

I'm reminded why it's so important to be in the Word, to stay in the Word, and to grow in knowledge of the Word day after day, year after year. Why ancient texts that seem unimportant and boring matter. Why each word is God-breathed. Because it's impossible to ever be done learning.

Have you ever experienced a revelation while reading something in the Bible that seemed so familiar, boring even? If you remember, please share the passage and the revelation.

You are Loved

Well, it's the end. The end of our journey together, seeking God, asking the questions on our heart, and listening for His answers.

I asked God a lot of questions:
- the ones listed in the first post
- Lord, what do you want me to do when it comes to the writing/speaking ministry?
- Father, will you point out anything in me that offends You?
- Lord, what is one thing I can do to be a better wife?
- Lord Jesus, how can I be a blessing to my brother and sister?
- Lord, am I supposed to be seeking an income?
- How much should I spend on groceries today?
- Lord, how can I get my focus off myself and better honor You in my life?

The answer that resounds with me, out of all those 40 days, is from the one day I had no questions to ask...

I prayed, Father, I don't know what to ask You today. What do You want to talk to me about?

He replied...

Let's talk about how much I love you; you need a reminder.

Before you were formed in your mother's womb, I knew you. I shaped you as you grew in the secret place.

I have a special plan for you and your life. It's a plan for hope and prosperity.

I know every hair on your head. I know every desire of your heart. In fact, I placed them there.

You are more precious than rubies, more valuable than gold. I am enthralled with your beauty.

I want to dance over you with My love. I want to bless you. Your joy brings me joy.

My great love for you cannot be measured. Listen to My love in Psalm 139. Do not forget how much I love you.

All I desire is for you to love Me in return.

That, for me, is the one thing I want to remember from this time of listening to God's voice.

And you know what, I think that today God wants you to read those words and take them for yourself. You are His treasured bride, and He's telling me that you need to be reminded of how precious you are to Him.

So why don't you go back to the words in red, put your name ahead of them, and read your Abba's love letter to you?

If you took this journey with me, even just for part of it, what is the main thing you want to remember?

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This post is part of a weekly Lent series, Without Question, where we are taking time to ask God the questions that are on our hearts and listen for His answers. Anyone is welcome to join - for just one post or for the entire series.

To participate, simply write a blog post (or if you don't have a blog, leave a comment) about what God has been speaking into your heart. In your post, provide a link back to this post. If you wish, you can also insert the WQ graphic in your post. Then insert the URL for your Without Question blog post in the McLinky below.

Why be you, when you can be me?

Some moms cry when they drop their babies off at Kindergarten. They mourn the "lasts" in life: the last baby, the last snuggles, the last one in a crib... I've never been particularly sentimental about the whole growing up process. I have to resist the urge to throw a party over the last diaper change, the last time we need to haul a stroller, the first day of school, or the first bus ride.

I used to think there was something wrong with me.

I'm a cryer when  it comes to other strong emotions, though. If my man and I disagree, even in the most gentle of ways, he's almost always guaranteed a waterworks show. I think, when it comes to wives, I tend to fall into the category of "high maintenance."
I really used to think there was something wrong with me.

The other moms all seemed better than me. The other wives easier. What is wrong with me?! Why do I have to be this way?! Why can't I just be like her???

Did you ever see that commercial with the machine that transformed young girls? As they waited in line for their transformation, a sultry voice would repeat, "Why be you when you can be me?" That supermodel's voice was my life's soundtrack.

But somewhere along the way I learned something... God made me just the way I am for a purpose.
Periodically, I need to remind myself that I am okay just as I am. So I figured that maybe you might need a reminder, too.

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If you're a mom, you may experience feelings of guilt and inadequacy when you see other mothers.

If you're a wife, perhaps you struggle with feeling "less than" and "too much" all at the same time. You feel guilty for not being the wife you think you should be.

If you're a career woman, maybe you look around you and think you need to be different. You compare wardrobe, skills, popularity, and more, and feel as though you fall short.

If you're a Christian woman, add in feelings of not being as good or Godly as other Christian women.

You know what? Those feelings are lies! Your feelings cannot be trusted, for they will deceive you. Instead, trust in God's true Word.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.~ Psalm 139:13-16

Friend, you are exactly the woman you are for a reason.

There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing broken in you, and you do not need to be like anyone else.

God created you to be YOU, not anyone else.

Your personality is the perfect personality for you and for those you spend your time with. You have the body shape you do because He designed you to look a certain way. Your skills, gifts, and talents were given by Him to build His kingdom and bless those around you. Your shortcomings and struggles, too.
You are a child of God, and there is no measuring stick for who you are versus who you should be. There is no "right" kind of woman. God calls us to relationship with Him and others, not rules.

My friend, don't allow yourself to get caught in the snare of comparison. You are you, and the woman beside you is her - neither of you is supposed to try to be like the other.

God loves you the way you are. In fact, He intended you be the way you are for a purpose. So, instead of trying to be like her, just be the best you.

It's too Easy to be Rude

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel as though customer service personnel are becoming increasingly rude?

When did impatient and condescending responses to customer service requests become appropriate?

Whatever happened to "the customer is always right?"

I think I probably know what happened... Customers became increasingly rude, more demanding, ignorant, and disrespectful. Service personnel got paid less and less while being expected to deal with a higher number of unpleasant customers.

I suppose it's a case of the chicken or the egg.

Either way, it's one of those things that makes me shake my head in wonder and disappointment.

Today, I happened to be the customer on the receiving end of rudeness. Today, I happened to choose to take deep breathes and hold my tongue.

But what really makes me shake my head is how much effort today's response took me. What I really wanted to do was yell and slam down the phone. The same way I did last week when a bill collector incorrectly (for a company I've never heard of) persistently tried to collect from me.

When did it become so easy for me to be rude? (At least when I'm hidden by the anonymity of the telephone.)

I think I ought to stick the following verses to my phone...

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. ~ 2 Timothy 2:24

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ~ Ephesians 4:2

We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. ~ 1 Corinthians 4:12b

Because it is way too easy to be rude these days. At least for me.

What about you? Do you regret the way you've dealt with an anonymous someone recently?

How to Thrive, not just Survive

In the past year and a half, we've spent time in a number of churches. Two stood out to me as churches that are "thriving."

Thrive:
- grow vigorously
- make steady progress
- to flourish
- grow fast and stay healthy

Others appeared to be merely surviving. They weren't dying, by any means, but they were just plugging along doing what they had always been doing.

I find myself in plain old surviving mode periodically. Okay, that was a lie. I spend most of my time in that mode. Not dying, but definitely not thriving, just surviving.

I'll think of my marriage and say, "It's good. It's way better now than it was a few years ago. Sure, it could probably be better. But we're okay."

The same can often be said of my walk with God, family, finances, and ministry... "I'm fine." Not great, not amazing, not fantastic, but fine.

Surviving = fine. Thriving = better.

So here's what I noticed at those two churches that are thriving - the one thing that stood out as different about them. They were (and are) changing. Always changing. Constantly tweaking. Willing to try new things, welcoming to new people and ideas, open to allowing God's direction - even if it meant making the occasional U-turn.

So how does one move beyond surviving to thriving?

Do something new. Try something different. Accept suggestions. Be open and willing to change direction, even if it means heading in the opposite way from which you were going.

Yep, change can be scary. Terrifying, even. But things that are static, unchanging, immovable - they cannot grow. Eventually their resistance to change will lead to death.

A marriage that is okay for too long, without new inspiration or true investment in growing together, becomes one with difficult patches. The ministry that keeps the same old six people in charge for years at a time, without the introduction of new people with fresh ideas, becomes stale. The faith walk that coasts with God, without going out on a limb to try doing something truly sacrificial for Him, becomes stagnant.

In order to thrive, we need to be brave. Brave enough to stop doing the same old stuff and try something new.

But forget all that —
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
~ Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT, emphasis mine)

What are of your life are you simply surviving in right now? What change can you implement so that you might begin to thrive?

Crying Over Spilled Bleach

Life is full of disappointments...

Splashing bleach on the sleeve of the only well-fitting brown shirt in the closet.

Writing freelance articles every day for a week and not getting paid.

The impossibly slow fulfillment of ministry dreams.

Children who are typically well-behaved having the week from Hades.

The bonus that is way, way, way less than expected.

So what's a girl to do when life's disappointments seem to pile up so high she can't see over them?

The only thing she can do...Trust.

Trust in the promises given by her Daddy. His assurances that He will provide for her every need. Yes, even clothes.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life —whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

~ Matthew 6:25-34 (NLT)

Have you had some disappointments lately? What does this Word from God say to your heart about those let downs?

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest...

I tend to be performance-oriented. Measurable progress motivates me. Crossing items off a list satisfies me. So it's not surprising that, to date, most of my questions for God have revolved around what I do. I've asked Him things about my writing, my parenting, my actions towards friends and strangers.

Today, I could think of nothing to ask. So I asked God what He wants to speak to me about today. In my heart, I sensed a whisper...

Let's talk about how much I love you; you need to be reminded.

And He told me that He loves who I am, not what I do. He told me a hundred ways how He loves me, and the only reason He offered was because I am His.

Not once did He mention the work that I do at home or outside of the home. He didn't bring up my roles as a wife and mother. He didn't talk about my weight, the cleanliness of my house (or lack thereof), my volunteer work.

But over and over again, He washed His waves of Scripture over me, loving me simply because I exist.

Suddenly, the weight of all that pressure - the self-imposed pressure - to do is lifted. I am reminded that the most important thing is not to do, but to be. To be His, to be in His presence, to be in His love.

Psalm 139

How He Loves (David Crowder Band)
* The title for this post is a line from the song.

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This post is part of a weekly Lent series, Without Question, where we are taking time to ask God the questions that are on our hearts and listen for His answers. Anyone is welcome to join - for just one post or for the entire series.

To participate, simply write a blog post (or if you don't have a blog, leave a comment) about what God has been speaking into your heart. In your post, provide a link back to this post. If you wish, you can also insert the WQ graphic in your post. Then insert the URL for your Without Question blog post in the McLinky below.

 1 entries so far... you're next!

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Warning - Im not listening

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Listening to God - Where to Start

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your ~ Jeremiah 29:12-13

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
~ John 10:27

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
~ Isaiah 30:21

In His Word, God promises us that when we seek Him we will find Him. He tells us that we can hear His voice. And He assures us that He will guide and direct us.

Lately, I have sensed the Lord nudging me to toss out my old routine. To change things up. To seek Him more than I seek to complete a series of tasks.

He wants to speak to me - personally, practically, and continually.

I need to hear Him.

Instead of completing my Bible study assignment, practicing my Scripture memory verses, and then praying (if I have any time left), I am starting my morning time with Him in prayer, ready to listen.

I close my eyes and sing to Him from my heart (if anyone else is awake I sing in my head)...

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the Fountain
Dip your heart in the Stream of Life
 
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of His mercy
As deep cries out to deep (we sing)
 
Come, Lord Jesus, come (x3)
 
Holy Spirit, come (x3)
 
(lyrics by Brenton Brown & Glenn Robertson, also sung by Kutless)

I wait for the quiet to overtake my heart, for the sense of the nearness of His Presence and the filling of His Spirit...and then I ask, I listen, and I write...

How has He been speaking to you?

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This post is part of a weekly Lent series, Without Question, where we take time each day to ask God the questions that are on our hearts and listen for His answers. Anyone is welcome to join us - for just one week or for the entire series.

To participate, simply write a blog post (or if you don't have a blog, leave a comment) about what God has been speaking to your heart. In your post, provide a link back to this post. If you wish, you can also insert the WQ graphic in your post. Then insert the URL for your Without Question blog post in the McLinky below.

This post has also been linked to Thought-Provoking Thursday.


 2 entries so far... you're next!

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Why Pray? Im not really making a difference, am I? Rethinking My Thinking: Do I really Pray?

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How to be a Follower

What does it mean to follow God?

I`ve often thought of it as game of Follow the Leader, where we trot along behind Him doing what He does. Jesus loves the poor and downtrodden, so I try to do the same. Jesus forgives, and so should I. Jesus leads people to His Father, which is what I want to do.

Yet I can't help but think there is something more to being a follower of Christ than simply mimicking His actions and attitudes.

I keep stumbling across verses that tell me following Him will require leaving something behind, giving something up, sacrificing something...

 At once they left their nets and followed him. ~ Matthew 4:20

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ~ Matthew 16:24

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” ~ Matthew 19:21
 
So I guess the real question is... What is it we must give up in order to follow God?
 
What is He asking you to sacrifice in order to follow after Him wholeheartedly?

If I saw You on the street
And You said, "Come and follow me,"
But I had to give up everything,
All I once held dear
And all of my dreams...

Would I love You enough to let go?
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life?