We've all heard it said, "We can't pour out until we're filled up."
It's our way of saying that, unless we're close to God ourselves, we can't really bring His love into the lives of others.
Or perhaps it's our excuse to delay sharing His love with the world until we feel perfectly prepared and equipped.
Here is a statement that I believe to be more accurate...
Until we empty ourselves, pouring out in service of others, there's no room for God to pour into us.
Think of mixing a pitcher of juice. The pitcher starts out empty and is filled. But even before that initial filling up, the goal is to empty the pitcher. The juice is poured out, cup after cup, until the pitcher is empty. We don't try to keep the pitcher in a perpetually full state. And if we try to refill it when it's only partially empty, the result is often juice that is either too sweet or too weak. But if we fill up cups until the pitcher is empty, it is in the perfect state to be refilled with fresh, cold, perfectly-mixed fruity goodness.
Perhaps we just need to begin emptying ourselves and loving others, regardless of how "filled up" we feel. And through the act of pouring ourselves out, we will discover the true refreshment that comes when God fills us back up.
What do you think?
Showing posts with label my walk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my walk. Show all posts
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Dissatisfied
I recall a few times in my life when I was truly 'others focused.'
I thought about how I could bless someone else before I thought about what I wanted. If a friend was in need, I would sacrifice my own desires in order to be there for them. I was open and listening to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit, even though adjusting my own plans was an inconvenience.
I had a heart to serve others. But it appears I had an undiagnosed heart attack along the way.
These days, serving others seems to be the exception to the rule.
The rule: Convenience, comfort, my plans, my timeline... Self.
My schedule is pretty full, so instead of dropping the housework in order to join a friend at the playground we fumble around trying to schedule a coffee/play date in a gap in our calendars. I don't have any $1 or $2 coins handy - only the $50 bill I've set aside to put in a wedding card - so I tell the man humbly begging for money in the grocery store parking lot that I'm sorry. I've grown weary and discouraged of being the sole initiator in a couple relationships, so I just gave up and let go.
Sure, there have been moments mixed in there... Moments of generosity, of self-sacrifice, of offering up my time and resources to serve others. But having spent great lengths of time in a culture of 'giving life' to others, I'm no longer satisfied with moments.
The occasional generosity lesson won't teach me all that God wants me to learn; I need full immersion.
The longer we walk with God, the more willingly we serve and obey Him, the less satisfied we become with a life that is anything less than radical.
We grow restless when we feel 'settled,' because we've experienced the Holy Spirit inspired rush that comes with living a life of sacrifice. We are dissatisfied with mediocre, for our hearts have lived the passionate outpouring of full-out serving God and others.
So as I seek (once again) to live a life that leaves me unsettled but inspired, self-sacrificial but passionate, uncomfortable yet wildly blessed, this verse thrums in my spirit...
Do nothing...nothing...not even one thing. Value others above yourself. Do nothing - no, not a single thing - with selfish motivations. Nothing...
It's a challenge issued to us - believers. A challenge to "up our game." To serve wholeheartedly rather than half-heartedly. To be willing to give up some self for the love of others.
I've decided to accept the challenge. Will you?
I thought about how I could bless someone else before I thought about what I wanted. If a friend was in need, I would sacrifice my own desires in order to be there for them. I was open and listening to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit, even though adjusting my own plans was an inconvenience.
I had a heart to serve others. But it appears I had an undiagnosed heart attack along the way.
These days, serving others seems to be the exception to the rule.
The rule: Convenience, comfort, my plans, my timeline... Self.
My schedule is pretty full, so instead of dropping the housework in order to join a friend at the playground we fumble around trying to schedule a coffee/play date in a gap in our calendars. I don't have any $1 or $2 coins handy - only the $50 bill I've set aside to put in a wedding card - so I tell the man humbly begging for money in the grocery store parking lot that I'm sorry. I've grown weary and discouraged of being the sole initiator in a couple relationships, so I just gave up and let go.
Sure, there have been moments mixed in there... Moments of generosity, of self-sacrifice, of offering up my time and resources to serve others. But having spent great lengths of time in a culture of 'giving life' to others, I'm no longer satisfied with moments.
The occasional generosity lesson won't teach me all that God wants me to learn; I need full immersion.
The longer we walk with God, the more willingly we serve and obey Him, the less satisfied we become with a life that is anything less than radical.
We grow restless when we feel 'settled,' because we've experienced the Holy Spirit inspired rush that comes with living a life of sacrifice. We are dissatisfied with mediocre, for our hearts have lived the passionate outpouring of full-out serving God and others.
So as I seek (once again) to live a life that leaves me unsettled but inspired, self-sacrificial but passionate, uncomfortable yet wildly blessed, this verse thrums in my spirit...
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
~ Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing...nothing...not even one thing. Value others above yourself. Do nothing - no, not a single thing - with selfish motivations. Nothing...
It's a challenge issued to us - believers. A challenge to "up our game." To serve wholeheartedly rather than half-heartedly. To be willing to give up some self for the love of others.
I've decided to accept the challenge. Will you?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
An Everyday Offering
Take your everyday, ordinary life -your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life -and place it before God as an offering.~ Romans 12:1 (Msg)
I often feel like I need to offer God something big. That if I don't make a massive sacrifice, I'm not really loving and serving Him.
But I'm beginning to think that this way of thinking is actually more selfish than self-sacrificial.
The grand gesture is...well...grand. It's an event. It's notable. It often brings us glory. Oh, look how willing they are to serve God! It's, dare I say, easier.
Easier than...
...choosing not to call the driver who keeps braking for green lights an idiot.
...turning away from the dishes to make eye contact with a child telling you an nonsensical story.
...taking time to talk to God before sitting down with email, Facebook, TV, etc. - daily.
...thanking your husband for all that he does and choosing to hold your tongue on those things you wish he'd do differently.
...heading to work with joy in your heart and on your face, even if (or especially if) your job stinks.
It's easier to go on a big diet for a month than to change your eating habits every day for the rest of your life.
But God isn't satisfied with our crash diet acts of service. He longs for our everyday, our ordinary. The daily laying down of our own wants, our bad habits, and our selfish attitudes - these are the offerings He desires.
This is the hard stuff, the true sacrifice... An everyday offering.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Counter-Culture Decisions
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| courtesty of squidoo.com |
In the spring, Pat and I spent some time re-evaluating what our family does and why we do it. We had gotten so very busy - overwhelmingly busy - and needed to figure out how much extra-curricular involvement was really necessary.
When we first moved here, we enrolled the kids in sports. Gymnastics, soccer, skating, karate... We felt that having an activity to engage in would help the kids "feel at home" in our new community. Our hearts were in the right place.
The results, however, were not at all what I'd hoped for. Rather than finding that one thing, each of our kids wanted to try a smorgasbord of activities. When one activity's eight-week cycle ended, the next would begin. We were all over the place, practically every day of the week.
So we began to ask ourselves what really mattered to us...
Building a close connection with a small group from our church.
Investing in others in our church and community, through acts of service and good old friendship.
Learning to love the people in our family deeply.
Having time to read the Bible and pray together as a family.
Being a family who is active and healthy.
Having lives of peace.
Interestingly, none of our goals included driving around every night of the week, being frenzied and impatient because we always have somewhere to go, training up Olympian gymnasts and black belt karate experts.
We made a tough decision in May - we decided that we would take a break from extra-curricular activities, with a couple exceptions. (I insisted that Pat continue to play hockey, as most games are later and don't interfere with family time and I believe in the importance of him having an outlet and some "guy time." We also chose to keep Braeden (13) enrolled in Air Cadets. We've seen a marked change in his level of independence, confidence, and attitude, and as such saw value for our whole family if he continued.)
But the other stuff that had us going like crazy people all week - it's gone. For now.
Last night, we spent some dedicated time as a family reading God's Word and praying together. This is the second time we've done so since school started.
Before that, the kids were out riding bikes, getting exercise and having fun together. They've been able to do that almost every day.
Once everyone was tucked into bed for the night, I commented to Pat on how much time we have this fall. Then I smiled, because I felt peace in my heart.
Later, Pat and I talked about our plans for small group this year, and sent an email off to the other couples about our start date. Rather than dreading the weekly commitment, we're excited!
I won't say that we're done with activities forever. But I can't say that I'm eager to sign anyone up for anything anytime soon.
Going counter-culture isn't easy, but sometimes it's the only way to set things right again. Kinda reminds me of our TV and video game decision...
What side of the fence are you on? Pro activities? Anti-activities? Somewhere in the middle?
Monday, September 12, 2011
Protection? Or Presence?
Last week I mentioned a couple difficult situations that my children (and I) are walking through...
I've been thinking and praying about those things on behalf of my kids. A lot.
God's been answering me, speaking to my heart about life's struggles. What He's been saying surprised me. For example...
I asked Him for help for Malakai. I prayed that drop off time at daycare wouldn't be so difficult for him, that he would be less sad and afraid. I asked God to be with him, protect him, and comfort him. I asked God to turn Kai's experience around, so that he would be excited about the fun days he would have.
At first, I heard what I expected to hear from the Lord...
Tyler, I love your little boy even more than you do. I have his best interests at heart. I am always with him, protecting and comforting him. You can trust Me with him.
But then, God started saying (not out loud, but into my heart) things that took me by surprise.
Just as I use every situation - especially the difficult ones - to shape you to serve Me, I will use this trial in Malakai's life for My Kingdom purposes.
Do not think that your children will be exempt from hardship simply because you love and serve Me. If their faith and strength and character are "by default," they will be weak. But a faith in Me that comes from truly needing Me will be their own. Yes, daughter, even in their preschool years I am already shaping them for My service.
Imagine the great things that a child named "Messenger of God" can do for My Kingdom. Then multiply that by 1,000. Those are the kind of plans I have for Malakai...and for each of your children.
But just as you needed to walk through hardships, grow in faith, allow yourself to lean into My strength, and become mature in character in order to serve Me - so will they. If I protect them from these trials that come their way, they will miss out on something greater I have for them.
Trust Me.
As God and I had this conversation, and I wanted to argue with Him about what was best for my children, I was reminded of how Beth Moore prays for her daughters... She has often mentioned praying along the lines of, "Lord, please do not protect these children from that which will bring them into Your Presence." (Not a direct quote. But if someone has her exact words handy, please share!)
I've often thought how wildly brave that prayer is, and how cowardly my own prayers for my children seem in comparison. I ask for His protection for them, but fail to ask for them to experience the reality of His presence in their lives.
And that begs the question... What would I rather have for my children - His protection or His presence?
Have you ever prayed that wildly brave prayer for your children?
I've been thinking and praying about those things on behalf of my kids. A lot.
God's been answering me, speaking to my heart about life's struggles. What He's been saying surprised me. For example...
I asked Him for help for Malakai. I prayed that drop off time at daycare wouldn't be so difficult for him, that he would be less sad and afraid. I asked God to be with him, protect him, and comfort him. I asked God to turn Kai's experience around, so that he would be excited about the fun days he would have.
At first, I heard what I expected to hear from the Lord...
Tyler, I love your little boy even more than you do. I have his best interests at heart. I am always with him, protecting and comforting him. You can trust Me with him.
But then, God started saying (not out loud, but into my heart) things that took me by surprise.
Just as I use every situation - especially the difficult ones - to shape you to serve Me, I will use this trial in Malakai's life for My Kingdom purposes.
Do not think that your children will be exempt from hardship simply because you love and serve Me. If their faith and strength and character are "by default," they will be weak. But a faith in Me that comes from truly needing Me will be their own. Yes, daughter, even in their preschool years I am already shaping them for My service.
Imagine the great things that a child named "Messenger of God" can do for My Kingdom. Then multiply that by 1,000. Those are the kind of plans I have for Malakai...and for each of your children.
But just as you needed to walk through hardships, grow in faith, allow yourself to lean into My strength, and become mature in character in order to serve Me - so will they. If I protect them from these trials that come their way, they will miss out on something greater I have for them.
Trust Me.
As God and I had this conversation, and I wanted to argue with Him about what was best for my children, I was reminded of how Beth Moore prays for her daughters... She has often mentioned praying along the lines of, "Lord, please do not protect these children from that which will bring them into Your Presence." (Not a direct quote. But if someone has her exact words handy, please share!)
I've often thought how wildly brave that prayer is, and how cowardly my own prayers for my children seem in comparison. I ask for His protection for them, but fail to ask for them to experience the reality of His presence in their lives.
And that begs the question... What would I rather have for my children - His protection or His presence?
Have you ever prayed that wildly brave prayer for your children?
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Life Isn't Fair
Do you remember proclaiming this truth as a kid? Anything and everything that didn't go my way was met with a whining, "It's not fair!"My kids say it all the time (annoying). The funny thing is, they usually complain about how unfair I'm being when, in truth, what's happening is completely fair. For example, no snack right before dinner. I repeat the same line five times over, as each kid requests a snack. At least a couple of them reply with, "But Mom, that's not fair!"
My response to their proclamation varies (depending on my mood, I think). Sometimes I just ignore it. Other times I chuckle and inform them that it is fair. And periodically I let them know that, "Life isn't always fair. Get used to it." Don't you hate that?! (I hated hearing it when I was young, but now that I know how true it is, it seems I can't help myself from saying it.)
The thing is, I can easily tell my kids that life just is not fair when it comes to rules and discipline and expectations around the house. But when the unfairness is brought on by someone or something other than me...
My little man's breaking heart when I drop him off at daycare in the morning - it's not fair.
My kind and sweet daughter being picked on by a couple less kind and sweet girls in her class - it's not fair.
My special needs son being refused funding that he is eligible for based on illogical reasoning - it's not fair.
Somehow, in these situations, my standard response seems cold and uncaring.
What I want to tell them is that they deserve better. I want them to know that I will fight for them. I want to promise them that everything will be okay.
But I can't.
Because life isn't fair. In this world, you will have trouble.
My inner Mama Bear can't come crashing into a situation and make it all better for my cubs. It's not possible for me to protect them from all of life's unkindness. So what's a Mama Bear to do, when her cubs are hurting?
Offer them the only thing she can...the only assurance she has... But take heart! [Jesus] has overcome the world!
As I deliver my "baby" to daycare, I can rest in the peace and assurance that my Jesus is there with my boy, and I can pray God's blessing and protection over him.
When my girl spills out tears and heartache, I can remind her of the Help that she has to lean on and the promises He gives: plans for her, a hope, a future, peace that passes understanding, comfort, and more.
When my young man is unable to experience an opportunity, I can assure him of the equality that will one day come, of the abilities his mind and body will one day have, of how precious he is - today - in the eyes of the One who created him.
Life isn't fair. Thankfully, this life isn't all that we're here for. I just pray that this truth will imbed itself in the hearts of my children...and their Mama.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Strength for the Weak
GROW STRONG IN YOUR WEAKNESS. Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust me, to lean on me, rather than on your understanding. your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness.When I read these words from Jesus to me last week, I folded the corner of the page down, knowing I would need them again soon. Perhaps I saved them for you, too. Where are you feeling weak today?
James 4:13-15; Proverbs 3:5 (Amp); Isaiah 40:28-31
~ Sarah Young, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence (Devotions for Every Day of the Year)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Upside-Down
Back in my college days, after the arrival of my firstborn, I could often be heard speaking these words, "Oh, I could never be a stay at home mom! I'm just not wired that way. I'll be a better mom if I've got something for me."
Add a few years and two more babies. My story changed to, "One day I'll go back to work...when they're in school. I just can't afford to work right now. Childcare would eat up my whole pay cheque."
Add a couple more babies, more years, and a closer relationship with Jesus. "I'm not sure if I'll ever work again. Somewhere along the way, I learned not only to be content in my role as a homemaker, but to find joy in it. If we can afford for me to stay home forever, volunteering in ministry, that's what I'll do."
As a young, idealistic, opinionated twenty-year-old, I was certain that my life would be dull and lifeless if I were home with my kids 24/7. As a slightly older, slightly less opinionated, and just as idealistic thirty-year-old, I was convinced that being home 24/7 would be best for my family.
Today, I am a thirty-three (and a half) year old working mom. Here are three lessons God has been teaching me about His upside-down Kingdom over the years.
1. Never say never.
God's plan doesn't usually fit within our ideals. While sometimes our ideals are formed based on God speaking to us and teaching us, it's important to remember that the plan He has for each of us is not a "one and only" thing. God's plan (and our lives) cycle through seasons.
There will be years of quiet, times of service, days of stretching, and moments of storms. And we do not get to dictate the ebb and flow - God Almighty is the commander of the seasons of life.
2. Comfortable doesn't last.
We all enjoy times of peace, quiet, and routine. There is something wonderful about feeling "settled." The thing is, as we are settling in we can also begin settling for. We settle for a faith journey that is mediocre, at best.
God knows, though, that we can serve Him better, our lives can give Him more glory, our families can better reflect His love in our communities, when we are stretched outside that little comfort bubble we live in.
3. It's not about me.
Of course I believe that God has a special purpose and plan that is specific to me and my life. But sometimes, His plan for my life is not necessarily specifically for my benefit.
God created us to serve Him, to worship Him, and to share His Good News throughout the world. He did not create us to be happy and content. (I'm sorry if that comes as a disappointment to anyone.) God is far more concerned with the salvation of the world than he is with our happiness.
The great thing is, if we embrace His plan with abandon, He will overflow our lives with joy and blessings! So the less we think of "me, me, me" the more likely we are to actually experience joy and satisfaction in this life.
I'd love to hear your stories! Here are a few prompting questions to help dig those stories out of you. Feel free to answer one or all...or something totally different, for that matter.
Have you ever said "never" to something only to have God change your plans?
Has He been asking you to let go of your comfortable so that your life can better reflect His glory?
What ways are you learning that it's not about you?
Add a few years and two more babies. My story changed to, "One day I'll go back to work...when they're in school. I just can't afford to work right now. Childcare would eat up my whole pay cheque."
Add a couple more babies, more years, and a closer relationship with Jesus. "I'm not sure if I'll ever work again. Somewhere along the way, I learned not only to be content in my role as a homemaker, but to find joy in it. If we can afford for me to stay home forever, volunteering in ministry, that's what I'll do."
As a young, idealistic, opinionated twenty-year-old, I was certain that my life would be dull and lifeless if I were home with my kids 24/7. As a slightly older, slightly less opinionated, and just as idealistic thirty-year-old, I was convinced that being home 24/7 would be best for my family.
Today, I am a thirty-three (and a half) year old working mom. Here are three lessons God has been teaching me about His upside-down Kingdom over the years.
1. Never say never.
God's plan doesn't usually fit within our ideals. While sometimes our ideals are formed based on God speaking to us and teaching us, it's important to remember that the plan He has for each of us is not a "one and only" thing. God's plan (and our lives) cycle through seasons.
There will be years of quiet, times of service, days of stretching, and moments of storms. And we do not get to dictate the ebb and flow - God Almighty is the commander of the seasons of life.
2. Comfortable doesn't last.
We all enjoy times of peace, quiet, and routine. There is something wonderful about feeling "settled." The thing is, as we are settling in we can also begin settling for. We settle for a faith journey that is mediocre, at best.
God knows, though, that we can serve Him better, our lives can give Him more glory, our families can better reflect His love in our communities, when we are stretched outside that little comfort bubble we live in.
3. It's not about me.
Of course I believe that God has a special purpose and plan that is specific to me and my life. But sometimes, His plan for my life is not necessarily specifically for my benefit.
God created us to serve Him, to worship Him, and to share His Good News throughout the world. He did not create us to be happy and content. (I'm sorry if that comes as a disappointment to anyone.) God is far more concerned with the salvation of the world than he is with our happiness.
The great thing is, if we embrace His plan with abandon, He will overflow our lives with joy and blessings! So the less we think of "me, me, me" the more likely we are to actually experience joy and satisfaction in this life.
I'd love to hear your stories! Here are a few prompting questions to help dig those stories out of you. Feel free to answer one or all...or something totally different, for that matter.
Have you ever said "never" to something only to have God change your plans?
Has He been asking you to let go of your comfortable so that your life can better reflect His glory?
What ways are you learning that it's not about you?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The Crossroads
I am not generally an anxious person. I tend not to worry about things. Except for money, that is. For some reason tough money issues can plague my thoughts for hours upon hours. But I digress; that's an topic for another post. The point is, if I can't change it or have zero control over it, I usually won't fret about it.
Yesterday, I carried a massive knot in my stomach from the moment I woke. It didn't subside when I took 15 minutes to read a new novel. It wouldn't let go during small group fellowship. It's still there now. Thinking back, I didn't sleep well at all the night before last - I was probably all tied up in knots already.
The only word I can find to describe the emotion that is causing my discomfort is anxiety.
I am anxious about putting my baby in day care, when he still resisted preschool after 10 months of regular attendance.
I am anxious about the days where the older children may arrive home on the school bus slightly before I make it home after work.
I am anxious that I won't be able to hack the pressure of being Mommy and employee.
I am anxious that I'll get too busy and my writing and speaking opportunities will fritter away.
I am anxious about what to cook for dinner for the entire month of September.
As I write out my worries, I feel the knot in my gut my climbing up into the back of my throat.
I pause for a moment and wonder what this is all about. It's not like me to worry and fret. It's not like me to play the "what if" game. And when I bump into feelings and reactions that are just "not me," I remember that I have an enemy who likes to try and fill my head with lies. Lies with just enough truth behind them to be believable.
The father of lies wants me to worry that I can't do it... But I have a different Father, and my Daddy says something different.
The truth is, apart from Jesus, I can do nothing. (John 15:5)
The truth is, I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:13)
The truth is, God has a good plan for me that involves hope and a future, not disaster. (Jer. 29:11)
The truth is, He didn't give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love. (2 Tim. 1:7)
So here I sit, hearing whispered lies yet knowing the truth. I'm at a crossroads, and I must choose. Will I believe the one who says I am weak, the one who predicts my failure, the one who wants me to walk through my days afraid? Or will I believe the One who loves me and has adopted me as His own child? (Eph. 1:5)
Whom will I believe?
And you - when you feel weak, afraid, weary, incompetent - whom will you believe?
I receive these words as a healing balm over my soul, and in turn pray them over you today...
Yesterday, I carried a massive knot in my stomach from the moment I woke. It didn't subside when I took 15 minutes to read a new novel. It wouldn't let go during small group fellowship. It's still there now. Thinking back, I didn't sleep well at all the night before last - I was probably all tied up in knots already.
The only word I can find to describe the emotion that is causing my discomfort is anxiety.
I am anxious about putting my baby in day care, when he still resisted preschool after 10 months of regular attendance.
I am anxious about the days where the older children may arrive home on the school bus slightly before I make it home after work.
I am anxious that I won't be able to hack the pressure of being Mommy and employee.
I am anxious that I'll get too busy and my writing and speaking opportunities will fritter away.
I am anxious about what to cook for dinner for the entire month of September.
As I write out my worries, I feel the knot in my gut my climbing up into the back of my throat.
I pause for a moment and wonder what this is all about. It's not like me to worry and fret. It's not like me to play the "what if" game. And when I bump into feelings and reactions that are just "not me," I remember that I have an enemy who likes to try and fill my head with lies. Lies with just enough truth behind them to be believable.
The father of lies wants me to worry that I can't do it... But I have a different Father, and my Daddy says something different.
The truth is, apart from Jesus, I can do nothing. (John 15:5)
The truth is, I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:13)
The truth is, God has a good plan for me that involves hope and a future, not disaster. (Jer. 29:11)
The truth is, He didn't give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love. (2 Tim. 1:7)
So here I sit, hearing whispered lies yet knowing the truth. I'm at a crossroads, and I must choose. Will I believe the one who says I am weak, the one who predicts my failure, the one who wants me to walk through my days afraid? Or will I believe the One who loves me and has adopted me as His own child? (Eph. 1:5)
Whom will I believe?
And you - when you feel weak, afraid, weary, incompetent - whom will you believe?
I receive these words as a healing balm over my soul, and in turn pray them over you today...
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~ Ephesians 3:16-21
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Missing Piece
I couldn't sleep last night. I'm sure it was partly due to the cup of coffee I had during our meeting (I really ought to invest in some decaf, people). Largely, I think my inability to sleep was the result of great joy. Joy because of a meeting.
Those of you who abhor meetings are gagging a bit right now. That's okay. I am fully aware of my nerdiness.
The meeting consisted of a small group of women who barely knew each other taking a few tiny steps in planning our church's first women's retreat. I felt the anticipation as I set out fresh cut veggies that the staff of my local supermarket had slaved over. Joy and fulfillment overtook me as we met, discussing and praying over our first major decision. And after everyone left, it was like a missing piece of my soul clicked into place.
Those of you who hate event planning are gagging even more than the meeting-haters. I understand. It's not for everyone. In fact, I'm not even sure it's for me.
It wasn't the meeting that stirred my passions. Nor was it the planning. It was the act of leading, mentoring, guiding, and pouring into other women. I hate to be cheesy and mis-quote an overused line from a movie I've never seen, but I feel God's pleasure when I am leading.
I love writing, speaking to groups is a thrill, and organizing gives me a sense of accomplishment...but nothing brings the soul satisfaction that comes from mentoring other women.
This surge of joy has me realizing something... In pursuit of writing and speaking and platform-building, I allowed myself to become too isolated. In my isolation, I not only drifted from the experience of fellowship with women, I slipped away from fellowship with God. This morning, I awoke with a burning inside - a desperation - to spend time in the presence of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, I am wildly in love with writing (and speaking is growing on me more and more). I remain certain that God has called me to minister to women in those ways. I realized, though, that I cannot allow the far reach of that type of ministry to supersede the intimate reach of personal mentorship of women right here in my community.
They're not exclusive. In fact, they are intrinsically intertwined. If I'm not involved in intimate and personal ministry, I cannot succeed in ministry that reaches far and wide. Losing the intimacy distances me from the tangible needs of real women. Losing the intimacy distances me from the heart of my Father. And I find the reality of my relationship with Him falling short of what I know it can be.
I thought that this season in my life might be about teaching me to lean on Him and Him alone for my fulfillment. I thought maybe I needed to learn more about being rather than doing. I think I was wrong. The sweetness of joy that comes from doing life with others is a vital aspect of being His. For me, they can't be compartmentalized.
Do you have a thing that you do, something that draws you closer to God by doing it? Something that, if missing from your life, would leave you wondering why it's so hard to connect with Him?
Those of you who abhor meetings are gagging a bit right now. That's okay. I am fully aware of my nerdiness.
The meeting consisted of a small group of women who barely knew each other taking a few tiny steps in planning our church's first women's retreat. I felt the anticipation as I set out fresh cut veggies that the staff of my local supermarket had slaved over. Joy and fulfillment overtook me as we met, discussing and praying over our first major decision. And after everyone left, it was like a missing piece of my soul clicked into place.
Those of you who hate event planning are gagging even more than the meeting-haters. I understand. It's not for everyone. In fact, I'm not even sure it's for me.
It wasn't the meeting that stirred my passions. Nor was it the planning. It was the act of leading, mentoring, guiding, and pouring into other women. I hate to be cheesy and mis-quote an overused line from a movie I've never seen, but I feel God's pleasure when I am leading.
I love writing, speaking to groups is a thrill, and organizing gives me a sense of accomplishment...but nothing brings the soul satisfaction that comes from mentoring other women.
This surge of joy has me realizing something... In pursuit of writing and speaking and platform-building, I allowed myself to become too isolated. In my isolation, I not only drifted from the experience of fellowship with women, I slipped away from fellowship with God. This morning, I awoke with a burning inside - a desperation - to spend time in the presence of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, I am wildly in love with writing (and speaking is growing on me more and more). I remain certain that God has called me to minister to women in those ways. I realized, though, that I cannot allow the far reach of that type of ministry to supersede the intimate reach of personal mentorship of women right here in my community.
They're not exclusive. In fact, they are intrinsically intertwined. If I'm not involved in intimate and personal ministry, I cannot succeed in ministry that reaches far and wide. Losing the intimacy distances me from the tangible needs of real women. Losing the intimacy distances me from the heart of my Father. And I find the reality of my relationship with Him falling short of what I know it can be.
I thought that this season in my life might be about teaching me to lean on Him and Him alone for my fulfillment. I thought maybe I needed to learn more about being rather than doing. I think I was wrong. The sweetness of joy that comes from doing life with others is a vital aspect of being His. For me, they can't be compartmentalized.
Do you have a thing that you do, something that draws you closer to God by doing it? Something that, if missing from your life, would leave you wondering why it's so hard to connect with Him?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Confessions of a Conditional Forgiver
I am a confronter.
I am not one to let problems sit and simmer until I feel ready to blow. I am not one to push issues aside and pretend they don't exist. I prefer to deal with stuff head-on.
On the other hand, I am also very quick to forgive. Once something is out on the table and has been discussed, I'm ready to let go and move forward.
Recently, I've been feeling like God keeps telling me to skip step one and move right to step two. Forgive, let go, and move forward - no confrontation. But my human nature fights against that, telling me that in doing so, I'm avoiding the issue and letting those who hurt me off the hook.
It's not like I think they need to be punished, but that if someone causes a hurt they need to be made aware. After all, if they don't know they've hurt me, what's to stop them from doing it again?
The family member whose neglect of both me and my kids ought to know that we feel ignored, right?
The family member who has nothing to say to me on Facebook when I share my life, but insists on commenting when I post anything that is not agreeable - that person should at least know that all negative and no positive hurts, right?
The friend(s) who don't seem to be as interested as putting in the effort as I am to maintain our friendship need to be told that my feelings are hurt, right?
The friend who inadvertently betrayed my confidence and shared a private hurt publicly - that friend doesn't deserve to be shamed or anything, but really should know that I feel betrayed, right?
I mean, if people never even know that they've hurt someone, how can they prevent it from happening again? Right? Am I right, here?
Some folks won't forgive until they believe a person has truly changed. Some people won't forgive unless there's restitution. Some won't forgive until they get an apology.
I've always prided myself on my forgiving nature. I don't require changed people, restitution, or even an apology. I just want the person to know how I feel. Then I can forgive, no problem!
I've always been told that being willing to confront, in a loving way, is a good thing...Especially as compared to being non-confrontational or an avoider. In fact, learning to confront others in a way that does not leave them feeling hurt or attacked but provides them with new awareness and insight is a skill! At least, that's what I've been told. And that's what I've believed.
But in God's eyes, unforgiveness is unforgiveness. In His Kingdom, forgiveness is not supposed to be conditional.
I realize that I've been using my skills in confrontation as a means of putting conditions on my forgiveness.
So how do I move into free forgiveness? The kind of forgiveness that is offered without any conditions? Without any confrontation? Without any "letting people know" anything?
Here are three truths I'm trying to remind myself of, as I bite my tongue (and hold my fingers) and learn to unconditionally forgive:
1. Offering forgiveness does not let someone off the hook. My job is not justice or even creating awareness. Those are God's jobs. He will convict when someone does wrong. He will ensure that justice - His way - is served. Whether I forgive or not, He will deal with each person how He sees fit.
2. Offering forgiveness does set me free. The only person held captive by my unforgiveness is me. My emotions are tangled up. My tension level is high. My stomach is in knots. The unaware offender is, well, blissfully unaware. And those who offend knowingly are fooled into believing that they feel better for it. I'm the only one here who is stuck, hurting.
3. I have been commanded to forgive. Not everyone knows and loves God, which - in some ways - makes their hurtfulness less wrong. But I do know and love God. And if I choose to wallow in unforgiveness, I am wrong. Wrong with people and wrong with Him. If I want to be right with my God, I must forgive without conditions.
Forgiveness is not like writing a blank cheque, allowing someone the opportunity to take whatever they want. Forgiveness is more like taking someone's IOU and stamping it "paid in full," releasing them of the debt they owe. And if we refuse to forgive the debts owed to us by others, how can we expect our debt to be forgiven by the One who paid for us?
So for today, as I wrestle with my desire to confront, I will take my confrontations to God. I will remind Him of His job - to convict, to serve justice. I will pour out my hurt feelings and frustrations to Him and allow His awareness of my feelings to be my comfort. And I will try to let go - not to forget or avoid or pretend, but to just forgive.
Is there a hurt that you're struggling to forgive today? I would love to pray for you.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Tiny Glimpses of Big Dreams
Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was an everyday, ordinary girl. She had lots of flaws and issues, but one thing she got right - she loved God with her whole heart.
This girl who loved God had a dream. A big dream. An impossible dream. Lots of people would listen to her dream, politely smiling, with a look in their eyes that said, "That'll never happen." But a few people encouraged this girl to go for her dream.
One of those encouragers was once a dreamer herself. Fourteen or so years ago she had a dream. Some people told her that she was foolish to dream so big. But others told her to press on. When her dream came true, she knew that she needed to help other girls like her. So she began investing in lives of other Jesus-lovin' dreamer girls.
This past weekend, the lives of the dreamer girl and her encourager intersected for a few precious moments. Those moments were made especially precious when the encourager was able to hand over one tiny glimpse of that dream to the dreamer girl.
A Jesus-lovin' dreamer girl...one step closer to her dream, her calling. Encouraged to keep running after her dream, but especially encouraged to keep running after her God - the Dream-Giver.
What is the dream hidden in your heart? Might I pray for you today, that you will be encouraged to press on after your dream and after the Dream-Giver?
This girl who loved God had a dream. A big dream. An impossible dream. Lots of people would listen to her dream, politely smiling, with a look in their eyes that said, "That'll never happen." But a few people encouraged this girl to go for her dream.
One of those encouragers was once a dreamer herself. Fourteen or so years ago she had a dream. Some people told her that she was foolish to dream so big. But others told her to press on. When her dream came true, she knew that she needed to help other girls like her. So she began investing in lives of other Jesus-lovin' dreamer girls.
This past weekend, the lives of the dreamer girl and her encourager intersected for a few precious moments. Those moments were made especially precious when the encourager was able to hand over one tiny glimpse of that dream to the dreamer girl.
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| From left to right: Lysa TerKeurst, Tyler Rowan, Holly Good. (Featured, P31 Woman magazine, July 2011 edition.) |
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| A closer look...one small article published in that magazine. |
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| Closer still...the author of that little article (and an autograph from her encouraging friend). |
What is the dream hidden in your heart? Might I pray for you today, that you will be encouraged to press on after your dream and after the Dream-Giver?
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wrestling with God for my Broken Marriage
When folks ask about my marriage, I usually tell them, “I’ve been married nearly twelve years, the last five or so happily.”
Lest you think it’s all rainbows and puppy dogs around here – happily does not mean blissfully. We’ve still got our issues. But those first five years…the only word that truly captures their essence is miserable. (Now, you’re thinking that five plus five only equals ten; those two years in-between are what I fondly refer to as the wrestling years.)
Here’s a little background for you:
I accepted Christ as a little girl, and renewed my commitment to Him each summer at Bible camp, but I lived through the school year no different than my unbelieving classmates and friends.
Living my life as I did, it’s not really a surprise that I found myself pregnant at nineteen. Unlike many teen moms, I was lucky to be dating a guy that planned to stick by my side. As most of you parents probably know, there’s nothing like having a child to bring someone back to their faith.
Enter five years of misery…
My husband tried to be supportive of my faith. He didn’t complain about me taking our son to church. In fact, I think he appreciated the silent morning of sleeping in each week. We had a church wedding. He agreed to it because it was important to me. My faith was okay, as long as it didn’t affect him.
Honestly, I think that he tried to be a good husband to me. I know he wanted to please me and make me happy. But I couldn’t be pleased. Instead, I picked and prodded, begged and cajoled, fighting for him to join us at church on Sunday mornings. And as I grew in my walk with the Lord and was convicted of my sin, I decided to act as the Holy Spirit in my husband’s life, convicting him of all his sinful ways.
They say that women go into marriage thinking of all the ways they can change their men, and men go into marriage hoping that their wives never change at all.
The change in me was probably a frightening sight to observe. I shifted from liberal thinking to deeply black-and-white conservative. I jumped from wild and free living to rigid, rule-driven, legalistic, and judgemental. And all this with a husband who was raised to believe that Christians are all brainwashed, and their goal in life is to brainwash others.
The turning point for me was the day my husband packed his bags. He had overheard me praying on the phone with a friend. The praying was, let’s say, a little bit charismatic. He was freaked out! Who can blame him?
I had an epiphany in that moment. I knew, without a doubt, that there was no way I could change my husband. There was no way I could make him happy. There was no way he could bring me satisfaction. I could not change him or fix him or save him. I could not save my marriage.
All of those things were under God’s area of responsibility. The only tasks placed under my care were: love my husband and obey God.
In an instant, I was released from my misery. My husband was released from my tyranny. I stopped wrestling within my marriage and began wrestling with God.
I would grab on tight and cry out, Lord, save my marriage!
He assured me, Trust me, your marriage is in My hands.I dug in hard and prayed, God, reveal Yourself to my husband!
He soothed me, I will, I am, through you and your obedience.
When I felt pinned, I would ask God, Why don’t you change him?
He replied, Why don’t you let Me change you?
When I felt like I was being attacked by a tag-team I would wail, But God, it’s not fair! I deserve to be treated better. I deserve to be happy!
He answered, Find your happiness in Me.
I would be mad and storm around the house, thinking to myself how I was NOT going to do his laundry. And God would tell me to serve my husband.
I would be hurt and determined that I had to speak my mind. And God would tell me to shut my mouth. (I cannot count the number of times God had to tell me to shut up!)
I would be lonely and depressed, entertaining fantasies of divorce or death, and then doing things the right way with a Christian husband. And God would tell me that the right way was to honor the husband I was given.
I wrestled and struggled, crying out, I will not let go until You bless me!
My husband began to attend church with us occasionally. Then more regularly. He agreed to attend a church-led marriage retreat. He agreed to join a home group through the church.
He was baptized on February 29th, 2004. He went on short-term missions trips to Haiti
My husband is the Christian husband I prayed for. He is a man of prayer. He is man of integrity. He is a man of faith. He is the spiritual leader in our home.
In a little over two weeks, I will be celebrating my twelfth anniversary. Twelve years married, the last five or so happily. Every single moment held in the hands of a loving Father.
* This post was originally published as a guest post for Angela Mackey's Wrestling with God series on Rethinking My Thinking.
* This post was originally published as a guest post for Angela Mackey's Wrestling with God series on Rethinking My Thinking.
This post has been linked up to Sheila Wray Gregoire's Wifey Wednesday series on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
An Ordinary Offering
Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering.
~ Romans 12:1 (Msg)
It's easy to give our big offerings and life situations to God.
Look, Lord, I tithed!
Check this out, God, I'm going on a missions trip.
I place this life or death situation in your hands, Lord, because it's out of my control.
But the regular, ordinary, boring day-to-day stuff... That's not so easy.
Lord, I will scrub the toilet cheerfully because it's the work You've called me to today.
Father, I trust You with my child's poor grades.
I will have coffee with my neighbour as a way of giving You worship, God.
That's a little more weird, isn't it? Yet I'm convinced that this is exactly what Paul is referring to in Romans. The everyday offering.
Put into action, what might an everyday offering look like?
For me, I think it means that I need to pause and do an attitude check. Am I engaging in an activity with joy, as an act of service for God and others? Or am I moving ahead with an attitude of obligation?
It applies not only to my actual "service" things (such as volunteering with women's ministry and the Logos Society), but my day-to-day "duties" like cooking dinner, helping the kids fill their juice cups, dealing with the news that my husband has to work late...
Practically speaking, what does this verse mean to you?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
TV Makes Your Brains Fall Out
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| courtesty of cartoonstock.com |
In my third year of University, I was thrilled to be enrolled in a course called The Psychology of Media and its Effects on Children's Development. I had no doubts about my ability to get an A in that course. I mean really, we all know that kids who watch too much TV grow up to be sociopaths and serial killers! Right?
At that time, my first born child was a little over a year old. He was in daycare 30-40 hours per week while I went to school. He wasn't all that into TV yet.
Fast forward a few years... I had a five-year-old with special needs, a one-year-old whose constant fussiness had our neighbours concerned, and a newborn. Oh, did I mention post-partum depression? Television became my friend - especially during the dreaded after school dinner-prep hour.
I rolled my eyes at all the idealistic parents who bought into the psychobabble about the dangers of TV and video games.
Fast forward a few more years...
We have a teenager now, and four others younger than him. That teenager has the typical teen response to video games - complete and utter obsession. We cracked jokes about it, and we eventually began limiting his gaming time, but mostly viewed it as a normal teen thing. While the other four kids aren't too heavy into the games, they can vegetate in front of the screen for hours, soaking up episode after episode of Hannah Montana, Suite Life on Deck, and the like.
Due to a long series of incidents and their consequences that aren't worth explaining on thishereblog, we've implemented a couple changes. One is that the TV no longer gets turned on during the school week. The other is that all video games (with the exception of hand-held ones that are kept in my possession) are gone.
Initially, these changes were intended to serve as punishment. And I expected to be punished just as badly as the kids. What in the world would they do?! They would surely make me crazy!!!
Those changes have now become permanent decisions. Not because I think TV is evil. Not because I think it makes kids mean or dumb or violent or lazy. But because I know...that too much time watching TV and playing video games was having an effect on my kids' attitudes. I know that we needed to make a change for the benefit of our family. And I know that this change has had a positive impact on everyone in our family, including the parents.
In University, I was sure I knew it all. As a young mom, I made a total 180 and was still sure I knew it all. In both cases, I was prideful and judgemental. And wrong.
That's what I love about God. He's not content to let us stay the way we are. God knows I'm so much better at serving Him when I'm humble and too busy changing and growing to be looking at what others are doing.
You know what makes your brains fall out? Thinking you know it all, that you've got it right and everyone else has it wrong, and that your way is the only way.
Thankfully, humbling yourself before God, being willing to learn and change, and doing things that other people may not "get" or agree with will help get your brain firmly back in place.
(Thought you might like to know... That "easy A" course? Not so easy at all! In fact, after the midterm I was failing. Turns out we actually had to learn the details of the research, not just the general concept that "TV makes your brains fall out." Don't worry, I pulled it off! *wink*)
Monday, June 13, 2011
A Formula for Spirtual Growth
A question that today's Christian women frequently ask is:
How do I incorporate regular time with God/devotional/Bible reading/prayer time/etc. into my busy days?
I wish I could help you find daily time with God by giving you three easy steps. It would make a great book, wouldn't it? Three Easy Steps to Spiritual Growth for Today's Busy Woman. I have a confessionn to make - there is no formula for spirtual growth.
I'll be honest, the reason I can't give you a nice formula to follow is because I don't fully have it figured out, either. While I am now in a season where I usually do spend daily time doing one or another of the above-listed things, I know that this is just that - a season. Figuring out how to make time for spiritual growth is different for each of us. What works for me may not work for you. What worked well during one season of life may not be feasible for another season.
The secret to growing in relationship with the Lord isn't so much what you do or how you do it as it is the intent of your heart.
If you desire a deeper relationship with Him, and you are continually trying to find ways to make that happen, you will find Him close to you.
If, on the other hand, you say that you desire a deeper relationship with Him, but you are continually making excuses not to try new ways to make that happen, you will feel distance.
So, if the desire of your heart is to know God more, here are some things you can try. If something doesn't work for you, whether due to personality or your season of life, that's okay. Just try something else.
1. Start your day with God.
When you wake up, before you roll yourself out of bed, take a moment to focus your heart on God. Ask Him to go with you wherever you are throughout your day; ask for His guidance and intervention; ask that you feel His presence; and ask that your thoughts and actions that day be pleasing to Him. If you're a morning shower-er, that's also a great time for prayer.
You'll find that the focus of your day is different when you begin this way.
2. Spend your whole day with God.
At each juncture of your day, each pause, each interruption, each transition, take a moment to talk to God. Tell Him how something made you feel. Ask for His help. Thank Him for the beauty you see. Praise Him for the things that go smoothly.
We tend to compartmentalize our lives, keeping work and God in different drawers. Bringing God to work with you (whether it be in the marketplace or at home) will change your perspective.
3. Spend your stolen moments with God.
In each week, we can be presented with countless moments of time-killing. Waiting rooms, in the bathroom, standing in line, "watching" our kids' activities... Instead of reading a magazine or playing on your phone, read a small snippet of Scripture. Ask God to show you how that verse (or passage) can make a difference in your life.
While we often say we're too busy for Bible reading or prayer time, the fact is that we all have time in our days for Facebook or Twitter, reading a novel, playing Angry Birds, catching up on the latest Brangelina gossip. Instead of thinking, "I have to make time for God," try thinking, "I need to choose to use some of my leisure time for God."
What about the spiritual disciplines?
* Bible reading
* intercessory prayer
* Scripture memorization
* private worship
* corporate worship
* Bible studies
* tithing
* ministry
* missions
* community outreach
Each one of these spiritual disciplines is a vital part of our walk with God. But our relationship with Him is not conditional upon these disciplines.
Let me say it again, because it is so important...
Spiritual disciplines are a vital part of our walk with God, but our relationship with Him is not conditional upon them.
The moment we begin to view those disciplines as a checklist, we betray the true character of God.
God doesn't say "I'll love you when/if/because." No, He loves us with an everlasting love.
He doesn't promise to answer us only if we do this, that, and the other thing. No, He says that if we call to Him He will answer us.
God knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your schedule. And every bit of time you dedicate to knowing Him better puts a smile on His face.
Give Him your heart, ask Him to work in your schedule, and seek Him at the start of your day, throughout your day, and in the stolen moments of your day... I promise you, you will grow and your relationship with God will become more intimate.
In time and in season, the other disciplines will follow.
How do I incorporate regular time with God/devotional/Bible reading/prayer time/etc. into my busy days?
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| courtesy of 3-b-c.eu |
I wish I could help you find daily time with God by giving you three easy steps. It would make a great book, wouldn't it? Three Easy Steps to Spiritual Growth for Today's Busy Woman. I have a confessionn to make - there is no formula for spirtual growth.
I'll be honest, the reason I can't give you a nice formula to follow is because I don't fully have it figured out, either. While I am now in a season where I usually do spend daily time doing one or another of the above-listed things, I know that this is just that - a season. Figuring out how to make time for spiritual growth is different for each of us. What works for me may not work for you. What worked well during one season of life may not be feasible for another season.
The secret to growing in relationship with the Lord isn't so much what you do or how you do it as it is the intent of your heart.
If you desire a deeper relationship with Him, and you are continually trying to find ways to make that happen, you will find Him close to you.
If, on the other hand, you say that you desire a deeper relationship with Him, but you are continually making excuses not to try new ways to make that happen, you will feel distance.
So, if the desire of your heart is to know God more, here are some things you can try. If something doesn't work for you, whether due to personality or your season of life, that's okay. Just try something else.
1. Start your day with God.
When you wake up, before you roll yourself out of bed, take a moment to focus your heart on God. Ask Him to go with you wherever you are throughout your day; ask for His guidance and intervention; ask that you feel His presence; and ask that your thoughts and actions that day be pleasing to Him. If you're a morning shower-er, that's also a great time for prayer.
You'll find that the focus of your day is different when you begin this way.
2. Spend your whole day with God.
At each juncture of your day, each pause, each interruption, each transition, take a moment to talk to God. Tell Him how something made you feel. Ask for His help. Thank Him for the beauty you see. Praise Him for the things that go smoothly.
We tend to compartmentalize our lives, keeping work and God in different drawers. Bringing God to work with you (whether it be in the marketplace or at home) will change your perspective.
3. Spend your stolen moments with God.
In each week, we can be presented with countless moments of time-killing. Waiting rooms, in the bathroom, standing in line, "watching" our kids' activities... Instead of reading a magazine or playing on your phone, read a small snippet of Scripture. Ask God to show you how that verse (or passage) can make a difference in your life.
While we often say we're too busy for Bible reading or prayer time, the fact is that we all have time in our days for Facebook or Twitter, reading a novel, playing Angry Birds, catching up on the latest Brangelina gossip. Instead of thinking, "I have to make time for God," try thinking, "I need to choose to use some of my leisure time for God."
What about the spiritual disciplines?
* Bible reading
* intercessory prayer
* Scripture memorization
* private worship
* corporate worship
* Bible studies
* tithing
* ministry
* missions
* community outreach
Each one of these spiritual disciplines is a vital part of our walk with God. But our relationship with Him is not conditional upon these disciplines.
Let me say it again, because it is so important...
Spiritual disciplines are a vital part of our walk with God, but our relationship with Him is not conditional upon them.
The moment we begin to view those disciplines as a checklist, we betray the true character of God.
God doesn't say "I'll love you when/if/because." No, He loves us with an everlasting love.
He doesn't promise to answer us only if we do this, that, and the other thing. No, He says that if we call to Him He will answer us.
God knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your schedule. And every bit of time you dedicate to knowing Him better puts a smile on His face.
Give Him your heart, ask Him to work in your schedule, and seek Him at the start of your day, throughout your day, and in the stolen moments of your day... I promise you, you will grow and your relationship with God will become more intimate.
In time and in season, the other disciplines will follow.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I Have an Eating Disorder
Actually, I have two.
Anorexia...of the soul
Many times, I starve myself of the very sustenance that I require for survival. My very spirit is cramped up with hunger pains, yet I do not eat the Bread of Life. Malnourishment sets in.
Binge Eating...of the flesh
Other times, I indulge and overindulge until I am bloated. My flesh devours all that it desires until no room remains for the Living Water. Disease sets in.
I waste away when I believe the lie that can make it through the day without first dining on good food. My anorexia is rooted in self-sufficiency. Pride. I swell and fester when I believe the lie that the things of this life can fill me up. My binge eating is rooted in selfishness. Lust.
The only cure for my disorders is a lifestyle change.
The only cure for pride is humility. On my knees, humbly acknowledging that I cannot survive one single minute without the Bread of Life. For lustful cravings, rejection and replacement. I must reject that which I crave, replacing it with a longing to fill up on the Living Water.
The only path to this lifestyle change is a daily feast. Not a feast reserved for certain days of the week. Not a feast in only hard times or good times. A daily feast. Every day, devouring the soul nutrients contained in the Word of God, quenching my thirst on His Word alone, dining at His banquet table.
Do you need a lifestyle change, too?
* a re-post from the archives
Anorexia...of the soul
Many times, I starve myself of the very sustenance that I require for survival. My very spirit is cramped up with hunger pains, yet I do not eat the Bread of Life. Malnourishment sets in.
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."
~ John 6:35
Binge Eating...of the flesh
Other times, I indulge and overindulge until I am bloated. My flesh devours all that it desires until no room remains for the Living Water. Disease sets in.
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
~ John 4:10
I waste away when I believe the lie that can make it through the day without first dining on good food. My anorexia is rooted in self-sufficiency. Pride. I swell and fester when I believe the lie that the things of this life can fill me up. My binge eating is rooted in selfishness. Lust.
The only cure for my disorders is a lifestyle change.
The only cure for pride is humility. On my knees, humbly acknowledging that I cannot survive one single minute without the Bread of Life. For lustful cravings, rejection and replacement. I must reject that which I crave, replacing it with a longing to fill up on the Living Water.
The only path to this lifestyle change is a daily feast. Not a feast reserved for certain days of the week. Not a feast in only hard times or good times. A daily feast. Every day, devouring the soul nutrients contained in the Word of God, quenching my thirst on His Word alone, dining at His banquet table.
Here I am! I stand at the door and know. if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
~ Revelation 3:20
Do you need a lifestyle change, too?
* a re-post from the archives
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
You Know it's Bad When...
...you view a video of your own teaching and convict yourself.
Somehow, the enemy got into our heads and convinced us that it was okay to stop tithing "for a while" while we got our debts in order. Now that the veil of deception has been lifted, I cannot believe I bought into that crap! (Yes, I said crap.)
At the poorest time in our lives, we began to tithe regularly, and God provided abundantly and exceedingly more than we could ask or imagine. Now, we live in one of the wealthiest communities in our province (not that we're necessarily wealthy) and we started to worry that maybe God wouldn't provide.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Anyway, I figured that if this was one of my "soapbox issues" and the devil managed to get me to compromise my values, maybe I'm not the only one. I hope this little message blesses and encourages you (and maybe even convicts you a bit, like it did me).
Somehow, the enemy got into our heads and convinced us that it was okay to stop tithing "for a while" while we got our debts in order. Now that the veil of deception has been lifted, I cannot believe I bought into that crap! (Yes, I said crap.)
At the poorest time in our lives, we began to tithe regularly, and God provided abundantly and exceedingly more than we could ask or imagine. Now, we live in one of the wealthiest communities in our province (not that we're necessarily wealthy) and we started to worry that maybe God wouldn't provide.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Anyway, I figured that if this was one of my "soapbox issues" and the devil managed to get me to compromise my values, maybe I'm not the only one. I hope this little message blesses and encourages you (and maybe even convicts you a bit, like it did me).
Monday, May 23, 2011
Christianity hates women and so do I
I often reply to your comments via email. I like to engage in conversation with you and answer your questions. I enjoy the dialogue. Recently, I received a comment that requires a different response. In reply to that comment, I have crafted a brief monologue.
If you need to get some context before reading, the post that the comment appeared on is Never Say No.
The anonymous commenter said, Christianity is such a misogynistic religion and the women are so brainwashed to be a doormat to their husbands even to the point of humiliation. Ugh.
mi-sog-y-ny (mi-soj-uh-nee), noun - hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women
(Dear reader - this definition was more for my benefit than yours. I had to look it up to be sure of the meaning!)
Here is my reply...
Dear Anonymous,
Taken out of context or read by an unbelieving reader, any words written by a Christian can be twisted around. (In fact, that's true of any written or spoken word.) It would appear that you have taken my words out of context - the contextual background being a shared faith in Christ.
The fact is, my post said NOTHING about being brainwashed, being a doormat, or being humiliated. My post was written from the perspective of a regular women in a regular marriage, and suggesting that we regular women have a CHOICE to make. We can choose to love our husbands in a way that makes them feel loved, or we can choose to reject them.
If a woman were in an abusive relationship, where her husband was asking her to participate in humiliating sexual acts, my advice would be quite different. I don't condone abuse and would never encourage a woman to stay in an abusive relationship, let alone to participate in anything that causes her to feel humiliated.
The assumption is that the average married woman feels no shame in making love with her husband. The assumption is that the average married woman desires to have a great (as opposed to average) marriage. The assumption is the average married Christian woman recognizes that, by focusing on changing her own negative patterns (rather than on wishing her husband would change his), she holds the power of change in her hands.
In fact, in taking control of her choices about their intimate relationship, the Christian wife is the complete opposite of brainwashed. She is fully in control, having more influence than ever over the state of their marital relationship. She is the opposite of a doormat. Doormats shrink away from challenges and let themselves be walked on, but she rises to the new challenge of improving her marriage by taking action. She is the opposite of humiliated. Rather, she now feels empowered and has a sense of pride.
As for Christianity being misogynistic, I'd say it's quite the opposite. The Christian faith doesn't say "hate women, degrade women, treat women as second class." The Christian faith preaches love - love for God and love for your neighbour. (I'll be the first to admit that most Christians are not perfect at this. Which is exactly why we stand in need of a Saviour to rescue us from our own evil nature.)
I would like to propose that the Christian faith is, in fact, pro-woman. The Bible is filled with accounts of strong, Godly women changing the world. Esther, Rahab, Mary, Ruth, to name a few. The gift that is given to us when God created us is difference - we are each unique. The world would have you convinced that everyone is the same (they use the word 'equal') and should be treated the same. The Bible, on the other hand, says that we are each unique and should be treated as such. I, for one, appreciate a faith system where I am recognized for me - my own unique strengths and abilities, my own genetic makeup - rather than assumed to be just the same as all the rest.
You, my anonymous friend, don't have to believe this. You don't have to agree with me. I won't be trying to force you, brainwash you, or humiliate you into accepting my faith. Christianity is a choice. Each one of us has the power to choose to believe or not. I would encourage you to exercise your right to choose. But, just as the woman who chooses to reject her husband's advances will remain sad, lonely, and unempowered in her marriage, those who choose to reject Christ will remain unhappy and dissatisfied in their lives.
Before I bid you farewell, I want to be clear that I will not argue my faith on this blog. I believe in Christ and anyone stopping by here can recognize that fact in an instant. You are free to disagree with me; however, insults will not be tolerated. If you feel such strong hatred for the things I believe, my suggestion to you would be to find another blog to read. I write here to encourage Christian women in their walks with God, to help them build their faith and to be the women, wives, and mothers God calls them to be. My purpose is not (and never will be) to debate Christianity.
As well, might I encourage you to put some credibility behind your opinions by not hiding behind the veil of anonymity? When a comment such as yours is posted anonymously, its intent is clearly to stir up dissension rather than to engage in conversation. I am open to having a conversation with you about my faith and how it differs from yours, but I am unwilling to engage in an insult-throwing exchange.
That said, for future reference, any anonymous comments that are disrespectful, contentious, or insulting will be deleted. As I said, my purpose here is not to debate, and my readers do not come here to be insulted by mysterious commenters. This is not to say I will delete comments that disagree with my point of view. If you have the courage to put your name beside your comment, and you have the ability to share your point of view without being denigrating, I am glad to engage in dialogue with you. I'm sure my readers will be, too.
While the comments on this post are open, and I am certainly expecting to see words left by those who disagree, let me reiterate that there is a way to disagree without being unkind or insulting. And those words left by real people with real names and faces will be treated with the respect due any person.
Thanks for hanging in there for my monologue. Now, let's let the conversation begin. :)
P.S. My statements about Christianity being freeing, about Christian wives having great power and influence, about making choices putting us in control - those are not ideas found in some book or simply Biblical platitudes. Those are factual truths evidenced in my own life.
Being treated as unique rather than 'equal' makes me feel free to be myself rather than trying to fit some mold.
Making choices about my sex life causes me to feel powerful, sexy, and much happier than I was when I allowed my emotions to decide for me.
And I feel more valued, appreciated, and necessary as a woman in the church than I ever have out in the workforce.
The only times I feel like a doormat, feel humiliated, or feel as though someone's trying to brainwash me is when I forget the truths I've learned and instead seek approval and affirmation from the rest of the world.
Perhaps that's just me? I don't know, let's ask the readers to weigh in...
Is your faith misogynistic, do you feel like a brainwashed and humiliated doormat?
If you need to get some context before reading, the post that the comment appeared on is Never Say No.
The anonymous commenter said, Christianity is such a misogynistic religion and the women are so brainwashed to be a doormat to their husbands even to the point of humiliation. Ugh.
mi-sog-y-ny (mi-soj-uh-nee), noun - hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women
(Dear reader - this definition was more for my benefit than yours. I had to look it up to be sure of the meaning!)
 |
| courtesy of ellepyke.blogspot.com |
Dear Anonymous,
Taken out of context or read by an unbelieving reader, any words written by a Christian can be twisted around. (In fact, that's true of any written or spoken word.) It would appear that you have taken my words out of context - the contextual background being a shared faith in Christ.
The fact is, my post said NOTHING about being brainwashed, being a doormat, or being humiliated. My post was written from the perspective of a regular women in a regular marriage, and suggesting that we regular women have a CHOICE to make. We can choose to love our husbands in a way that makes them feel loved, or we can choose to reject them.
If a woman were in an abusive relationship, where her husband was asking her to participate in humiliating sexual acts, my advice would be quite different. I don't condone abuse and would never encourage a woman to stay in an abusive relationship, let alone to participate in anything that causes her to feel humiliated.
The assumption is that the average married woman feels no shame in making love with her husband. The assumption is that the average married woman desires to have a great (as opposed to average) marriage. The assumption is the average married Christian woman recognizes that, by focusing on changing her own negative patterns (rather than on wishing her husband would change his), she holds the power of change in her hands.
In fact, in taking control of her choices about their intimate relationship, the Christian wife is the complete opposite of brainwashed. She is fully in control, having more influence than ever over the state of their marital relationship. She is the opposite of a doormat. Doormats shrink away from challenges and let themselves be walked on, but she rises to the new challenge of improving her marriage by taking action. She is the opposite of humiliated. Rather, she now feels empowered and has a sense of pride.
As for Christianity being misogynistic, I'd say it's quite the opposite. The Christian faith doesn't say "hate women, degrade women, treat women as second class." The Christian faith preaches love - love for God and love for your neighbour. (I'll be the first to admit that most Christians are not perfect at this. Which is exactly why we stand in need of a Saviour to rescue us from our own evil nature.)
I would like to propose that the Christian faith is, in fact, pro-woman. The Bible is filled with accounts of strong, Godly women changing the world. Esther, Rahab, Mary, Ruth, to name a few. The gift that is given to us when God created us is difference - we are each unique. The world would have you convinced that everyone is the same (they use the word 'equal') and should be treated the same. The Bible, on the other hand, says that we are each unique and should be treated as such. I, for one, appreciate a faith system where I am recognized for me - my own unique strengths and abilities, my own genetic makeup - rather than assumed to be just the same as all the rest.
You, my anonymous friend, don't have to believe this. You don't have to agree with me. I won't be trying to force you, brainwash you, or humiliate you into accepting my faith. Christianity is a choice. Each one of us has the power to choose to believe or not. I would encourage you to exercise your right to choose. But, just as the woman who chooses to reject her husband's advances will remain sad, lonely, and unempowered in her marriage, those who choose to reject Christ will remain unhappy and dissatisfied in their lives.
Before I bid you farewell, I want to be clear that I will not argue my faith on this blog. I believe in Christ and anyone stopping by here can recognize that fact in an instant. You are free to disagree with me; however, insults will not be tolerated. If you feel such strong hatred for the things I believe, my suggestion to you would be to find another blog to read. I write here to encourage Christian women in their walks with God, to help them build their faith and to be the women, wives, and mothers God calls them to be. My purpose is not (and never will be) to debate Christianity.
As well, might I encourage you to put some credibility behind your opinions by not hiding behind the veil of anonymity? When a comment such as yours is posted anonymously, its intent is clearly to stir up dissension rather than to engage in conversation. I am open to having a conversation with you about my faith and how it differs from yours, but I am unwilling to engage in an insult-throwing exchange.
That said, for future reference, any anonymous comments that are disrespectful, contentious, or insulting will be deleted. As I said, my purpose here is not to debate, and my readers do not come here to be insulted by mysterious commenters. This is not to say I will delete comments that disagree with my point of view. If you have the courage to put your name beside your comment, and you have the ability to share your point of view without being denigrating, I am glad to engage in dialogue with you. I'm sure my readers will be, too.
While the comments on this post are open, and I am certainly expecting to see words left by those who disagree, let me reiterate that there is a way to disagree without being unkind or insulting. And those words left by real people with real names and faces will be treated with the respect due any person.
Thanks for hanging in there for my monologue. Now, let's let the conversation begin. :)
P.S. My statements about Christianity being freeing, about Christian wives having great power and influence, about making choices putting us in control - those are not ideas found in some book or simply Biblical platitudes. Those are factual truths evidenced in my own life.
Being treated as unique rather than 'equal' makes me feel free to be myself rather than trying to fit some mold.
Making choices about my sex life causes me to feel powerful, sexy, and much happier than I was when I allowed my emotions to decide for me.
And I feel more valued, appreciated, and necessary as a woman in the church than I ever have out in the workforce.
The only times I feel like a doormat, feel humiliated, or feel as though someone's trying to brainwash me is when I forget the truths I've learned and instead seek approval and affirmation from the rest of the world.
Perhaps that's just me? I don't know, let's ask the readers to weigh in...
Is your faith misogynistic, do you feel like a brainwashed and humiliated doormat?
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