In Which I Almost Burst into Tears in a Room full of Men

Megan is what some might refer to as a "spirited" child. She is oodles of fun, has the best giggle and the brightest smile, she loves to help, she rocks out to all varieties of music, she taught herself to dance hip-hop style. The thing is, every little bit of that must be on her own terms. If someone else attempts to dictate their terms (even, or should I say - especially - her parents), her heels dig in so hard they leave little dents in my hardwood floors. When I ship her off to her tenth time-out in an hour, I say this little mantra in my head, "Having a strong will is good. No one will talk her into doing anything she doesn't want to do. She is a leader." And I know in my heart all these things are true.

We have run into a couple unfortunate incidents, though, where Meg's little size 11 heels have dug into someone else's floor - specifically, her teacher's. You see, there were certain activities that she did not want to participate in. So she didn't, doesn't, wouldn't, won't. Because of her spirited nature, our instinct as parents was to break her will (along the lines of breaking a horse in order to tame it). Unfortunately, Megan's response to our tactics was more akin to that of a mule than a horse.

So we began praying. (Yes, we probably should have done that much earlier on.) God, as He is faithful to do, answered. He had me in the right place at the right time in order to witness Megan's withdrawal and refusal to participate. And when I saw it, I knew that we had overlooked something much more insidious than a strong will. I saw shyness, discomfort, lack of self-confidence, fear, and anxiety.

So, we decided to try karate. Megan took to the training right away. That girl can punch!

In the class, because it's a parent-kid class, we also play games. The games, well, let's just say she didn't really take to those the same way. Thankfully, the Sensei didn't push and was fine with Meg standing back and watching us do chicken fights (not the kind you're thinking of!), play tag, bear crawl, and so on. She was also not particularly fond of doing the keyai (I've no idea how to spell Japanese words, but that is the word used to describe the shout that accompanies a punch/kick/block).

Last night, I had the incredible opportunity to witness God answering another prayer.

Halfway through the class, we took a little "fun break" and did some bear crawls and crab walks. By we I mean the whole class - including Meg. Later on, as we were practicing our kata (routine) I heard her keyai beside me. The Sensei wrapped the class up with a good ol' round of chicken fighting. Two boys went, then two men, then he called up Megan and another little girl. I held my breath, clenched my teeth, and used every ounce of will power I have to resist turning and looking at her. My Megan, she jumped up onto the mat, bowed to her opponent, and promptly kicked her butt! Well, technically she just knocked her off balance. She got paired with a boy later on, and I noticed only a millisecond of hesitation before she stood.

As I sat beside that blue gym mat watching my six-year-old daughter chest bumping an eight-year-old boy, it was all I could do to hold back the tears of joy.

I am certain that our Sensei, his helper, and the four dads in the class are all very appreciative of my restraint.

I now notice that my left punch is totally NOT about to hit my opponent in the solar plexus. Clearly, I have a bit of work to do on my form.

Just look at her! Is that not the face of a confident girl?!

Email Q & A

Occasionally I get an email asking a tricky theological question. Because I was a ministry leader, there comes with it an assumption on the part of others that I must know my Bible better than they do. (And I guess if they are not reading the Word regularly that may be true.) More often than not, though, when faced with a tough question I have no idea what the answer is, and I work hard to find it! I would encourage you to do the same - if someone asks you one of those difficult questions that seem impossible to answer (such as, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"), pull out your Bible with a concordance, find Bible commentaries that have been put out by reputable publishers (Zondervan, for one), and try to find an answer!

Now, before I go any further, please be aware of the following caveat: I am not a theologian and have not been trained in theology, Biblical studies, seminary, or any such thing. Any thoughts, ideas, opinions that I share on this blog may possibly be theologically incorrect (and I do welcome correction from those who know more than me - lovingly, of course). But I do give you my assurance that, when faced with a theological question, a great deal of prayer and Biblical research goes into any answer I offer.

This week's Q & A:

Question:
So I am dealing with a lot of questions I have about death right now and the more I search through the bible the more confused I become - I'm hoping you have a minute and can share your thoughts on this with me. Please? Do you believe we die and go to heaven or do we just die and that's it, we're dead, until Christ returns and THEN we're resurrected and go to heaven? Everywhere I search I can find scripture supporting that when Jesus returns living Christians will be transformed and the dead will be resurrected - but does that mean that when we die we are just dead until Jesus returns? I don't know why that makes me so sad! I guess it's because I really truly would like to believe that my loved ones who are gone really are 'in a better place', not just dead.

My Answer:
I believe that we die and immediately go to Heaven (Matthew 7:21 talks about entering the Kingdom of Heaven, which says to me that we can and will go there). (Also, when on the cross and the thief hanging next to Jesus asks to be saved, Jesus says, "TODAY you will be with me in paradise. Luke 23:42-43) A few others I found to support my belief are: Philippians 1:23, 2 Corinthians 5:6-8, Hebrews 12:23.

And my understanding is that the dead who are resurrected when Jesus returns are all those who were believers but died before Christ's death and resurrection. Now, I'm not sure about this, but I THINK that for Jesus's 1000 year reign on earth, those of us in Heaven also return to earth to reign with Him.

So here's my best explanation of why I believe this way... Prior to Jesus coming, there was really only one way for people to ensure their salvation - they had to live virtually perfect, sin-free, Godly lives. The only one I remember reading about was Elijah (2 Kings 2:11), who was so godly that God just took Him up to Heaven one day - he didn't even die! [I have since remembered that Enoch was also simply "taken to Heaven" - Genesis 5:24.] The others, who loved God but were also sinners, like David, Abraham, Noah, etc. - they are the ones who (I think) simply died and are waiting for Christ's return. (Just thinking out loud here - I guess there is always the possibility that they were taken up to Heaven after the resurrection as well. Not 100% sure.)

But when Christ came, His blood gave us a New Covenant. The old law (that's the Torah, or the first 5 books of the Old Testament) was gone (Romans 7:6, Luke 22:20, Hebrews 8:13 and 9:15), and the only law that remained was, "The only way to the Father is through the Son." (John 14:6) So I believe that if we go through the Son (accepting His gift of sacrifice for our salvation) we will go directly to the Father when we die.

I hope this helps, but I would definitely encourage you to do more digging on your own. I find Bible gateway a helpful tool for searching certain topics in the Bible, and I'm sure there are some books on the matter by respected theologians at your local Christian bookstore.

Proverbs 31 Wife

Want be the best wife you can be? The wife God called you to be? I know I do! And I found a little help...

Part I.

Part II.

Part III.

Thanks Jenny!

Grit and Determination

While we were visiting our friends in Louisiana, Pat and I got comfy in their living room and shared in the watching of an NFL game. Now, we've never really been NFL fans (nor CFL, for that matter). Hockey is more our (by our, I mean Pat's) sport of choice. But this game was a big deal - the winner was going to the Superbowl. As it turned out, for the first time in nearly a zillion years, the New Orleans Saints had made it to the big game.

It's funny how that little piece of relationship made such a difference for us. We (by we, I mean Pat) were glued to the TV set yesterday afternoon. There was a little bit of hootin' and hollerin' going on in our living room. Shouts of, "Who Dat?!" (The NO Saints have a whole song based on that little phrase.) Our whole family was so intent at watching the game that we completely forgot to don our Who Dat t-shirts last night. Don't worry, we'll all wear them today to rub it in just a little bit. ;)

Those of you who were watching probably saw video footage of the French Quarter after the game. Can I just express my great relief that we visited two weeks ago when everything was MUCH quieter around there? But here's something I bet you didn't know - the celebration is by no means limited to the city of New Orleans. From what I hear, most of the state is having a 24-hour long statuatory holiday in honour of the Saints' win. Businesses all over the place are shutting down so their employees can spend the day paying homage to their champions.

Wouldn't it be cool if we celebrated God's victories in our lives with a day-long party? I think we need to start a new tradition, one where we buy cake, wear beads, and pop the champagne open when God does something awesome. We can even run around shouting, "Who Dat?!" to everyone we see for the next several days (or weeks).

In the meantime, though, I will also celebrate with my friends. Because I watched portions of that game, between bits of housework and parental refereeing, and their our team worked hard for that victory!

Another little spiritual parallel comes to mind... Our victories in life, over our sin and struggles, are also won with hard work. Tenacity in seeking after God, perseverance in our time with God, fortitude in choosing to resist temptation, commitment to prayer. The things worth having in this life - like Superbowl rings and victory over the enemy - are won only through grit and dedication.

Now, without further ado, let's celebrate!

Saturday Morning Visit

Sleepover Aftermath



8:00am
Alberta, Canada

To see Saturday morning across the world, go visit Bobbie.

Things That Make You Go "Hmmmm"

Question posed to Grandma while we were away...

"Grandma, do I have to love satan?"

"Um, no sweetheart. Satan is evil and the Bible tells us that we should hate evil."

"But the Bible says I have to love my enemies."

"_______________________________."

Hunh.

This is not the end of the conversation (which I think was handled quite well - thanks Grandma!), nor are my quotes likely to be completely accurate. Sorry 'bout that. Nonetheless, I'd like you to fill in the blank with what your response would be. I need some material for future trick questions.

Inner Turmoil

Okay, perhaps turmoil is a bit of a strong word. Maybe struggle or confusion would fit better. But turmoil made for a better title. ;)

There is this inner battle going on inside of me (duh - inner battle) between jumping in and doing what I'm passionate about and waiting to hear clearly from the Lord.

Here is what I think I know:

- God called me to write this book that I have not been diligently working on, though I know I should. Whether or not I get a positive response from a publisher or agent, I must write this book. At the very least, for the benefit of my family, and hopefully for the benefit of other women and their families.

- I did some of my best and most diligent writing in the spring as I got ready for She Speaks. At the same time I was leading WOW and dealing with everyday life. Through that time (and other life experiences) I have found that two conditions exist to elicit quality writing (I don't know how quality in comparison to others, but it's my best quality). One is that I am in the Word and having my morning time with God daily. The other is pressure - it can be the slight pressure of having a number of tasks on my plate or time constraints. I just work better under pressure.

- I am wildly passionate about women's ministry. Over several years of being involved in virtually all aspects of WM, from serving at to planning events, from leading teams to mentoring leaders, I believe I have discovered my "calling" as it relates to WM. The thing that gets me so fired up that I can barely contain my excitement is the grassroots work. Setting the foundation of a ministry. Establishing a good, working organizational structure in conjunction with mentoring/equipping strong leaders (which includes helping those leaders develop a deepening passion for relationship with Jesus and the various skills needed to lead others effectively - such as diplomacy, prayer, knowledge of Scripture and its application, administration, relationship-building, and so on).

So I know I have been called to write. I know the conditions under which I do my best writing. And I know my heart's deepest passion.

What I am uncertain of is this - can I (or should I) pursue two callings and passions at once? Will I become overwhelmed? Will I neglect my duties at home? Will I end up more irritable and impatient with my children? Is there even a need for the skills and passion I have to offer at our new church? These questions have been constantly bouncing back and forth, up and down, like a handfull of little rubber balls has been dropped in my brain.

The biggest, most important question, though - the one that echos loudly above all the others - is this: What is God's will? Because more than anything in this world, more than my passions and personal desires, more than my hopes and dreams, I want the absolute assurance that I am walking in His will for my life.

But I do not hear Him on this. I am not getting a clear sense. And for some reason, I have not straight-out asked Him.

Fear? Pride? Selfishness? Laziness? I don't know. All I know is that I need to get over what it is and ask. Because the sound of all these little balls boinging around is making me a little bit crazy...

It's What You Do

I have seen examples in my children that the things I do hold much more weight with them than the things I say. Some instances are eye-opening and reveal to me changes I need to make (ie., when I hear my kids yelling at one another, I know that they are echoing my actions, and often my very words). This morning, though, I received the gift of seeing something I do right (not always, but apparently often enough that it's had an impact).

Wrapped in a blanket, cup of coffee in hand, Bible at one side and study book across my lap, I was having my morning quiet time. A little person emerged - far too early, in my opinion - and sat on the other couch. My little people know that mommy's quiet time is not to be interrupted, and that they must wait until I'm done or taking a break to ask me a question (and they must wait until I've moved to the office to blog before the TV gets turned on). For a minute or two, my child sat silently.

The next time I looked up, I noticed that the little person had sneaked away so quietly I hadn't noticed. I smiled, and assumed that there was some reading or colouring going on elsewhere in the house. Only a moment later, though, my offspring reappeared - plunked on the couch, opened up a children's Bible and one of my old Women of Faith study guides. Looking over, I noticed that the study guide was turned the the second chapter, and it appeared that chapter one had been completed in childish script.

Together, we spent the next half hour in silence, each completing our respective Bible studies.

She's Special

Yesterday, my first born girl-child celebrated eight years of living.

Do you remember when you were young, how the year-long wait between each birthday seemed to stretch into eternity? But now, as the mother of that child, I feel like I've barely had enough time to catch my breath since the last birthday.

I am struck by how much change can happen in a year, yet how much of the same remains.

Abbey is taller and her face is losing the roundness of a little child. While still slightly shy and reserved, she is growing into a confidence in who she is. She is growing up.

She continues to have a tender and sensitive heart, and is a bit more on the emotional side (not unlike her Mama). She still takes great pride and joy in being a helper, but now instead of following me around and begging to help she takes initiative on her own to do things that will bless her family members.

So different, yet the same. I am filled with delight at the person she is and the person she is becoming. And I am in awe of what a gracious God we serve - One who continues to work for the good of my children in spite of my mistakes. He asks me to care for them, love them, teach them, train them, but then He gently reminds me that He is ultimately in control.

He lets me follow Him around, doing my best to help, much like Abbey did with me when she was a small child. I remember her helping me bake something one time (yes, a rare occasion) and she made quite a mess. I knew, though, that her heart was fully in the act of helping me, so without a word to her I just reached around her and began cleaning up the mess. I didn't want her to be focused on the mess she had made, but rather on the special job she had done helping me. I am so grateful that God does the same for me.

Though I am often impatient, Abbey is one of the most patient children I know. Though I tend to raise my voice too often, Abbey has a gentleness in her spirit. Though I sometimes get so busy with daily living that I neglect to nurture her relationship with Jesus, Abbey is deeply in tune with the Holy Spirit. Though I left the work of teaching her to read solely on the shoulders of her school, she reads voraciously.

Through her, God shows me the glimpses of good in me. And even though all I've done is follow Him around and fumble at helping, He smiles with delight when I take all the credit for who she is.

Thank-you, Lord, for Abbey - she is so special! And thank-you, Father, for allowing me to take part in her growing up. Being her mother is a treasured gift.

Purify My Heart

It feels like a million years since I've been here. Sitting in front of my computer with my Blogger dashboard open is like coming home to my writer's soul.

Through an anointed teaching on Saturday evening (we were at the Breakforth conference), God spoke to my heart. He affirmed my desire to make this a year of consecration - a year dedicated to purifying myself to bring greater glory to His name. Anne Graham Lotz taught on her book, "I Saw the Lord" in which she relates a journey of repentance that the Lord took her on.

I realized that any effort I make to sanctify certain parts of my life will be wasted until my heart is fully right with the Lord. It's not necessarily that I feel that I am wrong with the Lord so much as I know that it's been a long time since He and I have had a soul-cleansing purge.

Therefore, my morning times will be spent getting things right with Him. I am asking God to reveal to me the unconfessed sins in my life, and one by one I am writing them down. I am not only writing down what my sins are, but the true name by which God calls those sins. For example, what I call overeating is - in God's Word - called gluttony; I also see it as disobedience (for I know that He has called me to stop my destructive eating habits) and as desecrating His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Once each sin is confessed, I commit to repent (turn away) and ask the Lord to help me and guide me in my new path. Then I read the words of Isaiah 6:1-8 and envision a searing hot coal removing that stain from my life.

It has been two grueling mornings thus far, and my list has 5 areas of sin. I suspect there will be a few more mornings yet (like a million!). But I know that it will be worth it.

For I cannot go out into this world, being salt and light, inspiring my children and others that I encounter to pursue Jesus, if I remain unholy, immoral, sinful, and stained. No, I don't aspire for perfection. I don't want to be "holier than thou" (I know how unappealing that can be). But if I am to grow in Christ, to bring Him pleasure, to bring glory to His name, and to be more like Him, I cannot continue where I am now.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:14

This post has been linked up to Kingdom Twindom's Bold Blogging Challenge. Thanks to Kingdom Mama for hosting us and encouraging us to seek boldly after the Kingdom of God!

You know you're having too much fun when...

...you completely forget about blogging for three whole days! (My bad.)

Here are a few fun facts for ya.

You can get really expensive hotels for ridiculously low prices (USA only) by bidding on priceline. Seriously. We stayed at a fay-an-cee Hilton in Houston for only $60 per night (regular price $179) - which is about the same price as staying at the Super 8! Over the course of four nights in hotels, we have saved a good $400. Or you could look at it this way - we've spent no more than we were willing to spend but got to stay in a bunch of 4 star hotels.

There are two main differences between cheap hotels and fancy ones. First - space. In fancy hotels you actually have room to walk around the bed. Second - service. In cheap hotels, if the front desk staff are feeling lazy, they will just tell you, "no, we don't have extra pillows here."

Good service costs. At least in America. The good people who help out with a friendly smile are working hard to earn their tips.

Okay, enough about hotels...

One of the most fascinating things we've done so far is to go on a Katrina tour. It is heartbreaking to see the number of abandoned houses that are just sitting there and falling apart. Many homes still bear the "Katrina tattoo," which is a spray painted "X" with letter and numbers in each of the 4 sections. The letters show who checked the house (NS - National Security, NOPD - New Orleans Police Department, etc.); some numbers indicate the date; other numbers the number of people found; and still other numbers to show how many were alive and how many dead.

Another devastating fact was to learn that the government has spent millions (or was it billions) on repairing certain things in the city - such as City Park, while neglecting to do anything to repair and restore a single one of the hospitals that was shut down by Katrina's damage. In our tour alone we saw three massive hospitals, all completely abandoned and vacant.

So sad. It just made me think about Haiti...

On another note, have you ever seen a 26 mile long bridge? We drove on one between Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Wild, eh?! It's all swamp, so the only way to get people across it is for them to go over it.

And to complete the blog post of all sorts of things you never knew and many you never wanted to know... I would like to offer a public service announcement to all those considering eating nothing but rich, fried food for a week - this is a bad idea! You digestive system will never forgive you. Neither will your pants.

MIRL

M - meet
I - in
R - real
L - life

This handy little blogger term is used when you get to meet someone face-to-face whom you've only known through blogging/ email/ etc.

You may have noticed that I got to MIRL Beth Moore this weekend. And yes, that was in Houston right at her very own home church. For the past year, a bunch of girls who follow the LPM blog have been memorizing Scripture. This past weekend was our celebration event. I even got to meet some new friends. (Pictures coming someday soon...maybe.)

But there was an event this week that had me even more excited than Beth... After more than a year of correspondence via email, I had the opportunity to meet my dear blog friend (and book editor), Bobbie! Not only did we meet and hang out a bit, she and her hubby (and their dog) opened up their home to us. They took yesterday off work to play tour guide (read: that's why I was way too busy to blog yesterday). And they have been feeding us some of the most delicious, most fattening, most amazing food known to man!

So, without further ado, a picture of us girls having fun... (So sorry if you can't really see our faces, but it was the most gorgeous, sun-shiney day out and hardly any pictures turned out. But who cares - too much fun was had! I got to visit the antique district, see the levy, eat at Cane's Chicken, visit a plantation, drive around all day talking to a good friend, eat more deep-fried goodness for dinner, and sleep in the most comfy bed with the friendliest guard dog.)



This is us at the Rosedown Plantation. I cannot wrap my head around the rich history of the south. (FYI, we're no longer in Houston - I say we because Pat is actually with me, even though I forgot to mention that fact earlier - but are in the bayou of Louisiana. Today, we are on our way to a little overnighter in New Orleans. Or N'Orlens, as the locals say it.)

See ya'll later! :)

Saturday Morning Visit - 01/23/10

My friend Bobbie (who blogs at 40 Shades of Pink) ran across a fun idea for Saturday mornings, inspired by the Nie and You blog. Okay, I confess, we completely stole the idea!

I will post a picture of a typical Saturday morning here in Alberta. Bobbie will post one of her Saturday morning in Louisiana. Maybe you'd like to join us? (If you do, stick a link in our comments so we can come visit you.)


Vacation Edition:
Houston, Texas; 6:48am
from the hotel balcony

And a couple shots from Friday night...

Amanda...



Melissa...



Beth...

True Beauty

The Small Villages of Haiti Need our Help!

As Haiti is hit by numerous aftershocks and people give generously to the relief effort, another tragedy is happening in their country - the small communities throughout Haiti are not being reached by this generosity! The relief effort is solely focused in Port-Au-Prince, and smaller communities have been levelled and are running short on supplies.

If your heart is to assist in these neglected areas of Haiti, I would encourage you to give generously to Haiti Arise Ministries. They are situated in Grand Goave, which is a slightly larger small community situated in the middle of many little villages. Haiti Arise WILL focus their aid in these areas. They have already been offering care to many people from those areas.

And just as with the Red Cross and many other well-known charitable organizations, Haiti Arise is eligible for the grant from the Canadian government - where every dollar Canadians donate is matched.

Please continue to pour out your love on the people of Haiti by both praying and donating.

Be the Centre...

As I ready myself this morning for my first speaking engagement on mother anger, my heart is filled with prayers.

Lord, let my words be Your words...
Father, open the hearts of the women who need to hear that they are not alone...
Abba, keep me from being bumbling and nervous and doing things that might distract from the message You want the women to hear...
Jesus, let me not forget - not even for one moment - that this is all about You and bringing glory to Your Name...

When I Wander

I have sometimes heard - even been one of those who has said - when we are not walking in God's will for our lives, our ears become deaf to His voice. Somewhere, in the recesses of my mind, I have believed that God will not heed my prayers if I am knowingly in sin.

In the silent hour of this dark morning, though, I felt His presence.

And far, far away from His will is where I have been.

If our children are rebellious and disobedient, but they come to ask us for food, for a hug, to talk a minute - do we cross our arms and turn away, pretending as though we cannot hear their pleas? Of course not! If our love for our own children is too great to ignore them when they come to us, don't we know that our Father's love for us is that much greater?

For some weeks now - in spite of knowing the call on my life to commit each day to the Lord through prayer and praise, the reading of the Word, and listening for His voice - I have neglected my time of communion with Him. If His will for me is to spend time each morning in His presence, not doing so means that I am walking in sin. And yet, even in my sin, I hear His voice. Without a thought of repentance, continuing in my sin, I cry out to Him in prayer and sense His presence.

Though I have wandered, He comes with me. What a precious gift to find that I was wrong all along!

Humbled by His love and grace, my heart is turned. An extra hour of sleep no longer holds more appeal than communing with the God who loves me, hears me, and answers me - no matter how far I wander.

Call to Me and I will answer you... ~Jeremiah 33:3a

Saturday Morning Visit - 01/16/10

My friend Bobbie (who blogs at 40 Shades of Pink) ran across a fun idea for Saturday mornings, inspired by the Nie and You blog. Okay, I confess, we completely stole the idea!

I will post a picture of a typical Saturday morning here in Alberta. Bobbie will post one of her Saturday morning in Louisiana. Maybe you'd like to join us? (If you do, stick a link in our comments so we can come visit you.)


First cuppa coffee, email, bedhead... 7:22am.
Alberta, Canada

Ten Minutes Very Well Spent, I Promise

Nothing I have to say is nearly as good as this post about by Mama Bird or this post by Kingdom Mama. Wow.

Chances are my day will be spent in a battle between productivity and reading all the posts linked up to Bold Blogging.

Once in a Lifetime

Yesterday, we had an opportunity that may only come once in a lifetime. The Olympic torch was coming right through our little community! So I did what any good parent would do, and let my kids skip school for an hour to watch. ;)

Here they are, all bundled up for an hour in the winter chill. It was actually a fairly mild January day - only -9C (15F).

A media helicopter circled above us. (What a great shot, eh? lol)

No Canadian parade would be complete without numerous RCMP vehicles. (For my American friends, that's Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And yes, they do still ride horses. Though possibly only in parades.)

Good ol' Royal Bank of Canada, sponsors of the 2010 Olympics. These guys were handing out flags and pumping up the crowd.

An Olympic bus. Guess they needed to add a couple vehicles to make the parade longer.

Of course, Coca Cola is sponsoring the Olympics! And all the athletes will drink Coke for commercials, while secretly thinking that we all know Pepsi is better.

Yup. Coke = happiness. Definitely. ;)

Ooooh, look! Off in the distance. People running!

Closer now.

Right in front of us. Wooohooo!!!!

And...gone. (Funny, the lady beside me seems to think I was snapping a picture of her, so she gave me a nice, big, Olympic-cheer smile.)

Overall, I found it pretty anticlimactic. Especially since the torch looked a lot more like a rolled up tube of paper on fire than the torch I was expecting. But the kids seemed impressed. The only thing they weren't impressed with was that I dropped them back off at school.

For those interested, THIS is what the 2010 torch looks like up close. THIS is what I was expecting to see.

Hope for the Hopeless

It's difficult to think of anything to write when my heart is so burdened for the people of Haiti.

Since Pat went there in October, our hearts have been turned toward these people and this nation. As soon as we heard of the earthquake, our thoughts rushed to the many friends Pat has there and the mission that we support - Haiti Arise Ministries.

We were relieved to hear that Grand Goave (where HAM is located) was not affected, and the people we know are are safe. But so many are not...

One of the biggest tragedies is that there is no hope for restoration. There is no heavy equipment in Haiti - no bulldozers to push away piles of rubble. There are no landfills in Haiti - nowhere to put the rubble if (and that's a big if) they try to clean it up by hand. As for the bodies within that rubble - they will not be found, they will not be buried, and disease (more disease) will run rampant. And in just a few short months, hurricane season will be upon them...

I say there is no hope, yet I do have hope. Our God is the God of hope and restoration, and though the streets and buildings may never be the same, our God is right there in Haiti right now, calling the people to be restored to HIM.

The story goes something like this... A hundred years ago (or maybe two?) the political leaders of Haiti made a deal with the devil. They wanted wealth and success for themselves, and in exchange for this they turned over their nation to the hands of satan. So for those years, while corrupt leaders grew fat and rich, an entire nation was covered in darkness. Disease, starvation, voodoo, satanic rituals, garbage, filth, poverty, and child slavery ruled.

But now, that deal with the devil has come to an end. His time is up. And the spiritual battle for the hearts of the Haitian people is raging.

God is calling the people to Himself. What will it take for them to see His face, to seek His deliverance? Hurricanes, earthquakes, plagues? (I'm not saying that God is causing these tragedies, but I know - without a doubt - that He can use them for His glory.)

Please join us in praying for the Haitian people. Yes - pray for their health, safety, healing, rebuilding. But more importantly - pray for them to seek and see the face of God! Pray for them to turn from voodoo and run into the arms of Christ, spread wide on the cross for their salvation. Pray that the people who come to help in this tragedy are a light for the people of Haiti.

Because with Christ, nothing is as hopeless as it seems.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Megan is an eighty-year-old woman in a six-year-old's body. I know this, because only old women talk like she does.

Last night, as we drove home, she opened her window. It was +12C - unseasonably warm for January in Alberta. Enjoying the warm breeze on her face, Megan leaned her head back and sighed.

"Mom," she said, "This warm weather is so fabulous! Tomorrow, after school, we should all go for a nice walk. Wouldn't that be lovely?"

Sure, Grandma, that would be just lovely. ;)

Posers

'Lo and Behold

Somebody at our house is VERY enamoured with his Papa.

Kai tends to give everyone who enters the door a thrilled greeting, but he saves his loudest and most excited for Papa.

Not long ago I had all the kids at the eye doctor. Mr. Kai asked for my phone, "'Lo? 'Lo?" (He knows that playing with his Mommy's 'Hello' is something that he needs to ask for with his sweetest voice and smile. Because nothing was more important to me than him being good in the waiting room, I hit the lock button and handed it over.

He chattered and babbled into that phone for a few minutes, then came and handed it to me. (As if to say, "Here Mom, it's for you.") I played along and talked to the imaginary person on the other end. Eventually, I told him it was for him. He grinned and chatted some more.

I began asking who he was talking to. "Is it Daddy?" He shook his head no. "Is it Abbey?" He shook his head again and pointed at Abbey across the waiting room. (Duh, Mom, she's right here.) "Is it Grandma?" - this one has been the sure answer with four other children.

Finally, Malakai looks me in the eye and says, "No! PAPA!!!!" How silly of me to forget...

He walked off with the phone to his ear and I heard him talking:
"Hi Papa."
silence
"Yeah."
silence
"Bye!"

Like I said, that boy LOVES his Papa. And apparently he's observed a few telephone conversations in his day. :)

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting...

My muscles are beginning to hurt. You know that distant uncomfortable feeling - the one that provides fair warning that in approximately 24 hours you won't be able to walk down your stairs or sit on the toilet without crying out in pain? But it's good!

Megan and I had our first parent/child karate class last night. I had no idea...

Over the course of an hour, the sensei somehow managed to trick us into working up a good sweat, doing about 50 push ups (in my case, not with the prettiest form), doing a good 100 crunches, and more.

I forgot how good it feels to hurt like that.

The best part, though, was watching my Muffin-girl. She was so intent, so focused, and totally awesome! She loved every minute of it and participated for the entire hour. At the end of the class the sensei handed out forms to order a uniform (it's called a Gii - no idea on the correct spelling of Japanese words). Meg looked at me with a light in her eyes that I haven't seen in a while and proclaimed, "I want one!"

Who am I to discourage her commitment to the sport? And, since she was fairly insistent that I must also be in uniform, I ordered 2. Next week we'll be punching and shouting in style. Oh, and push-upping and crunching...

The Law of Opposites, God's Way

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ~I Corinthians 13:1-2 NASB

I love my kids, but I am not so great at showing love to them. Love is patient - I tend to be impatient. Love is kind - I wouldn't say that I'm unkind, but I also can't say that I go out of my way to do nice things for them. Love is not easily angered - but I am all-too-often easily angered.

For the months of January and February, as part of my project with God, I have decided to focus on showing love to my kids. I am going to pay attention and take notes about their likes and dislikes, their personalities and love languages, as well as make note of situations where I am not kind, patient, or loving and figure out how to do it differently next time.

For so long I've just prayed, "Lord, please help me not to blow up," and hoped that one day I would miraculously be delivered from this struggle with anger. But with the help of a children's song I am learning that I need to counteract my anger. Counter-Act. Act in the opposite.

It's all About the Kingdom, a song from Seeker's Great Adventure says:
Overcome evil with...GOOD!
Overcome darkness with...LIGHT!
Overcome greed with...GIVING!

It stands to reason, then, that we could overcome anger with...LOVE. (If you have alternative suggestions here, I'm happy to hear them and add them to my list.)

So rather than waiting for change to just happen to me (and in me), I am going to begin living as if I've been changed - doing the opposite of what I'd normally do. I will counter-act the anger that so often bursts from within with love. And on this great, big, huge, massive project I will be one teeny-tiny step closer to the consecrated life.

Questions

I am fully uninspired this morning. I have been up between 6-12 times per night for the past 4 nights, and I am plumb tuckered out! So I decided the best thing I could do (for you and for me) is to pose a few questions that I wonder about. I would be just tickled if you took the time to answer. :)

1. Am I the only one who still has my Christmas tree and decorations out?
I have thought to myself daily since December 30th, "Self, you should really get that tree down and all the decorations put away." But the lazy in me keeps winning out.

2. How many cups of coffee do you drink in the morning?
Three cups is about perfect for me. If I only have one I end up with a headache, but if I have four my tummy starts to feel that "icky" feeling.

3. What time do you put your kids to bed? And what time do they get up?
I am fairly strict about our 7pm bedtime on school nights. Those who don't actually need as much nighttime sleep (anyone who napped) will wake up as early as 6am. The school kids are dragged out of bed at 6:45 - in order to catch the bus at 7:45.

4. Do you floss your teeth regularly?
I never have. I would say that I floss about once per month, and once per week for the month prior to a dentist visit. I know, pathetic.

5. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only keep the pages from one book of the Bible, which book would you keep? And why?
I'd have to say James. Every time I read it I find something practical and relevant. Love it!

Good Enough isn't Good Enough

You know, I kinda had a 'plan' in my head for how this consecrating stuff would go. I figured that God would nudge me on the 'small' things first (you know, maybe He'd call me to stop using curse words), and by later in the year (maybe next fall) we'd have worked our way to some 'big' things (such as anger). Has anyone else noticed that God always seems to have plans of His own?

Friday evening Pat and I went on a date. Our dinner conversation revolved around the kids and our parenting methods. We're finding that the honeymoon phase is over, and they're all showing signs of stress from all the life change. When children are experiencing stress in their lives that they don't understand and can't really verbalize, they blow off steam the only way they know how - acting out (or is it acting up?). Our two weeks of school holidays have been filled with bickering and tears (both theirs and mine), time outs (again, for them and me), and an overall sense of frustration.

Sunday's sermon was all about parenting - how to pass on a legacy of loving God. One of the things he mentioned was that our actions will influence the way our kids see God and think about Him. He also spoke about trying times as a parent, and how we can get so caught up in trying to 'fix' whatever is going on with our kids that we fail to ask ourselves the most important question, "What is God trying to teach me about myself in this moment?"

This morning, these words from James shouted at me from the page... My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

Oh, and to top off all those little hints coming my way, I've had a sick child for three days (we're onto day 4 now). Which means there is a Mommy in this house who is VERY short on sleep (read: short on temper) and a boy-child in this house who is surely dying (read: big, whiny baby...just like a male; also read: trying Mommy's patience in a big way). So right out of the gate I'm getting some practical experience moments. I'd have to say that, so far, I'm at about a 50/50 pass/fail rate.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep on asking God to do the radical in my life! I mean, I'd really be okay if He just did the semi-radical. I'd still grow, I'd still change, it would be good. And not so dang hard! Yet there's this drive in me that cannot be content to settle for 'good enough.' I don't want to be a good enough mom or a good enough Christian. I want to be the best I can be. I want my kids to see my active pursuit of righteousness and desire that same thing in their lives. I want the world to see me and say, "Wow, that Tyler girl sure does love her Jesus!" I want GREAT; good enough simply won't do.

If only there were just a little bit less work involved...

The Year of Consecration

I spent the year of 2009 learning God's ways and His paths. Though I could literally pursue that theme for the next several years of my life, I felt the need to find a new theme for the new year. I thus declare the year of 2010 "the year of consecration."

Consecrate yourselves and be holy,

because I am the LORD your God.

~Leviticus 20:7

I found this verse, and it resonated so strongly that I could not ignore its call. I thought it might have something to do with being "better" than I am (and who doesn't want that), but I couldn't fully commit to consecrating myself without understanding the full meaning of the word.

Consecrated (adjective) - consecrate, dedicated
solemnly dedicated or set apart for a high purpose

As God's children, He has already set us apart for His high purposes. But all too often we sit there in the knowledge of being set apart without living in the reality and the solemnity of the consecrated life. We talk like the rest of the world, we act like the rest of the world, we look like the rest of the world - there is nothing different enough about us that makes us stand out. When I say "us" I actually mean "me," but it just makes me feel better about it to think that there are others out there like me.

This year, there will be no grandiose resolutions for me. I will not commit to losing 30 lbs (though I should); I will not promise to never say another curse word; I will not swear off yelling at my children or being crabby with my husband; I will not promise to "never do this/change that forever/be who I want to be and not am." I can't. Because the pursuit of holiness isn't something I can just DO.

In 2010, I will, however, commit to the relentless pursuit of holiness - one aspect of my life at a time. I will trust in God to show me what He wants to work on in me, and then I will not only let Him do the work, but I will actively participate and cooperate with what He wants to do. And one bit of my not-so-set-apart life at a time, I will commit to allowing Him to consecrate me.

Because if there's anything I want in this life, it's that I will look different, sound different, and BE different...set apart for His high purpose.

Year in Review, 2009

I began 2009 with this goal in my heart.

Here's how I learned His ways, His paths, and His truths throughout the year...

January:
I asked the Lord to shake me up, keep me from becoming too comfortable, unsettle me.

February:
I asked God to reveal His agenda for my daily schedule and "to do" lists with my time experiment.

March:
I was learning about Believing God and persevering when victory demanded my all.

April:
God used our difficult trip to Disneyland to remind me of something that I find easy to forget.

May:
The Lord provided peace when I submitted to His will for our special needs son.

June:
God used an old post and an anonymous comment to encourage me. Interesting how re-reading those words just spoke to my heart all over again...

July:
Our family settled in to enjoy the snot-nosed, dirty-faced, sweaty-kid days of summer.

August:
I had the amazing experience of attending the She Speaks conference, and many thanks to Lysa who inspired me to begin my fast food fast.

September:
An answer to those prayers of mine - the ones to be unsettled... God nudged, we listened (albeit reluctantly).

October:
In the midst of preparing to move, God called Pat to take a short walk in the mission field. His heart is forever turned toward the people of Haiti.

November:
I spent some time trying to refocus my prayers and praises.

December:
A month spent glorying in the new lifestyle of our family, but sadly neglecting other important things (such as writing - for my book or on this here blog).

It surely was a Jesus year! I asked and sought and God showed my His ways, taught me His paths, and spoke to me about His truths. My world was rocked more than once. Adventure was had. Much time was spent on my knees. And some people say that following Jesus is boring...

Traditionally Speaking

Traditions are the glue that holds a family together, separate and unique from other families. Some traditions become such a part of the daily routine that we may not even recognize them as special, such as praying together at night or talking about the day's high and low points over dinner. Christmas traditions, though, are special.

Do you read the Christmas story together? Open stockings? Have a turkey dinner feast?

Last year, our family began a tradition that I'd like to continue. Together, as a family, we found a way to give to others. The tough part (which was also the most blessed part) of the giving was that it was sacrificial.

I don't think our kids are old enough to understand going with a "giftless" Christmas where we give all of our gift money to a worthwhile project. But there is no age limit on learning to be a blessing, to offer something that may mean you need to have a little less for yourself.

A couple other traditions that have bloomed over the years:
- Each kid gets a new ornament every year, and they hang their ornaments on the tree. (There is a slim chance that I missed a year along the way - baby brain - but I'm going to make sure each kid is all set for next year.)
- On Christmas Eve, the kids get to open a gift (pre-selected by moi). It's always new pyjamas.
- Santa fills the stockings in this house and leaves a gift (typically something that everyone can enjoy together). Of course, we always leave out milk and cookies for the jolly fella.
- At my parents' house, one of them will read the Christmas story before we devour the turkey and trimmings. Sometimes it's direct from the Bible, sometimes a version from a children's book.

I should share a little trick I came up with a few years back that seems to help with any sibling issues that occur around gifts (you know, no matter how you do Christmas and how much you try to focus on Christ and not the gifts, there is almost always one child who ends up whining to play with something that someone else received - this makes me crazy!). For any and all gift-giving occasions, a gift received by a particular child belongs solely to that child for a full 24 hours. After that day is done, the treasure is now for sharing. The exceptions to the rule are clothing and items that they choose to put in their special box. (The special box is a shoebox-sized Rubbermaid container, which the child keeps in his/her room. No one else is allowed to take items from the box. This little trick helped me deal with the child who was "hoarding" everything in piles on and beside the bed.)

Now, given that time is running short, I need to figure out what we're going to do as a family to be a blessing this Christmas. Pat and I have already come up with one thing, but it didn't involve the kids...

What are your family's traditions around Christmas?

Lazy Days

In case you wonder (or even if you don't), you may find it quiet around this little internet space over the holidays. I plan on being very busy lazing around in jammies, drinking entire pots of coffee, watching a million family Christmas movies, reading a couple novels, and maybe even attempting to do something fun with the kids (though we'll have to change out of the jammies to do that).

I realize that my blogging has been awfully intermittent lately, with the move and all. And I thank you for sticking with me in spite of my randomness. I'm sure some part of my New Year's Resolutions will involve a commitment to writing better material with more regularity - which means you can likely count on that to happen for a good two weeks. ;)

But really, I hope that you, like me, will just enjoy the slowing of pace that comes with the Christmas holidays. Be with family and friends, and take a little break from the routine. And most importantly, spend some time reflecting on the amazing gift God gave us in His Son...

On the Loose

I am almost off for an evening away with a girlfriend. By the time you read this I will be off (she doesn't know where she's going or who she's meeting, so I scheduled this to pop up after I know she's gone -you know?). As soon as I get home tomorrow, Pat and I are sneaking off for a night. We'll go to his work Christmas party, then enjoy the luxury of sleeping in the next morning. (Yay, Grandma! Have fun at 6am.)

So far this morning I have:
- washed, dried, folded, and put away three loads of laundry
- had my chimney cleaned (unrelated, but it was scheduled for this morning)
- grocery shopped for snacks and quick foods
- packed for one night, stacked packing for the next night
- put tonight's dinner in the crock pot
- fed two children lunch
- taken out the garbage and recycling
- cleaned up 400 mounds of dog doo
- paid bills
- and paced anxiously waiting for the sitter to arrive (who, as I write this, is not yet due for another hour).

If you've never taken a night away with a girlfriend, you totally should. It's almost naughty how free you feel!

If you've never taken a night away with your hubby, you should do that one first. :) Just 24 hours of escape from the day-to-day can bring month's worth of refreshing to a marriage.

And if you ever have the blessed opportunity to do both in one weekend, be sure to thank the Lord and not take one moment for granted. Because time away - it is a blessing.

Anyone know how it is that on any normal day it would take every waking moment to complete that list of tasks? Really, getting away is good for the whole family - they've never had such a productive Mommy! :)

The Moral of the Story

One of our children has an iron will. This child will dig heels in deep and not budge - ever - on whatever the issue of the day is.

Since school began this year (even before the move), this child has not been participating well in class. I don't know why, but I suspect it has to do with:
#1 - not wanting to look foolish doing silly actions and movements;
#2 - not wanting too much focus to be turned toward the child;
#3 - needing to be perfect and have things mastered before being willing to do them; and
#4 - a little bit of stubbornness deep down in this child's heart.

Said child came home a couple days ago proclaiming that there was no happy face in the agenda from school because the class was doing yoga and my darling wouldn't do it. To be honest, I was so proud of this child that I cannot even tell you - we have had many discussions about yoga and why our family believes it is best not to participate in it at all.

I began drafting an email...

Later, with some digging from Daddy, it was discovered that the child did not, in fact, refuse to do yoga, but simply refused to join in on the doing movement (you know, bend down and touch your toes, now reach up to the sky, etc.). Yoga was not for today, but they would be learning it later on, said the child. Perhaps this should have been my first clue that things were not all as they appeared?

I began revising the email... I had Pat read the email... I re-read and re-revised... And then - I hit send.

Yesterday I received a phone message from the teacher. As I did in my email, the teacher first addressed the child's issue and some solutions that had been brainstormed. Then the teacher addressed my concern and request that they not do yoga in school. The teacher informed that there has never been, nor would there ever be, any plans to practice yoga at school. Ahem.

The information my child had given us was incorrect, and no one has any clue where that information may have come from.

This morning, I drafted a new email. If email came with a picture, my face would be very red and my eyes averted. How incredibly embarrassing - to have written an email convincing the teacher of my reasons for opposing yoga in school FOR NO REASON. Oh, how foolish of me.

There are three morals to this story:

First, never jump to conclusions.
Second, when you learn information that upsets you the first thing you should do is ask, "is it true?"
And third, never, ever, ever take what a child says at face value!

The View from Up Here

Not too long ago, we were having a bit of family fun swimming. Abbey was having fun jumping off the diving board, but she suspected that the high board (5m) would be even more fun. Twice, she climbed all the way up that ladder, then climbed right back down.

Seeing a teachable moment about conquering our fears, I gave her a mini lecture/pep talk encouraging her to take the leap. When I finished, Abbey asked me, "Mom, have you ever jumped off that high board?"

As far as I could remember, I had not taken that plunge. You see, I have a small issue with heights. I'm not technically afraid of being up high, nor am I afraid of falling (because I know that they don't let people continue to go up on high things if someone has fallen from it). But there is a physical reaction that occurs in my body when I look down from a high vantage point. And in all my years, the best I've been able to do is breathe deeply, cling tightly, and tell myself I won't fall - every once in a while this actually helps me. Most times, though, I have done what Abbey did - turn around, climb down, and back out.

I asked Abbey, in perfect teenage fashion, "If I do it, will you do it?" She grinned and nodded.

The climb up the ladder wasn't bad. Deep breath in, step-step-step, deep breath out, step-step-step. The walk on the first half of the diving board was manageable. Deep breath in, hold it, cling to the railing, steeeeepppp, steeeeepppp, steeeeepppp. But there is a point on every diving board where the railing ends and you are left to take those last few steps on your own.

I froze. My pulse hammered at my throat. The walls and pool seemed to shift and move, rocking with the twisting of my stomach. My legs literally trembled. I felt like a blob of jell-o on a plate that someone had just flicked to make it dance.

I took another breath, let go, and stepped. No! I stepped back and grabbed the railing. The board and I danced this way three times. I thought to myself, "I can't do this." I started to turn back. No! I told myself, "You can do this. Your little girl is down there, counting on you to do this. She is watching you, and will take her lead from your choices. Do not let her down!" My legs of gelatin cautiously carried me to the edge of the board, and I stood with hands extended to hold my balance. One, two, three, breathe, plug nose, and jump step right off that board. Victory!

It took a full half hour for my queasy stomach to relax, longer to feel as though my legs could hold me upright. Abbey proceeded to leap off that 5m high board a dozen times.

I could draw a million (or three) parallels and metaphors on how this relates to our relationship with God:

#1 - Sometimes faith is scary.
#2 - There are lots of times that we must simply step out in obedience, knowing the truth that God is with us even when we feel terrified and uncertain.
#3 - Someone is always watching what we do, and making choices about their own faith based on our actions.

But mostly, I just wanted to tell you because it's a darn good story. And hey - I jumped from the high board! Nanananana!

Pondering

I read some words this morning in my quiet time that brought tears to my eyes and a lump into my throat. They resonated with truth and made me feel so encouraged that I just had to share them. Both of these quotes are from Gary Thomas’s “Holy Available” (pp. 124-125).

“Have you ever realized that God purposely sets up our lives to reveal His glory? Speaking of one man’s healing, Jesus told His disciples, ‘This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me’ (John 9:3-4).”

One thing I noticed about this story when I looked it up in my Bible was that this man was blind from birth. He was blind forever, for his whole life. He suffered a long time. Yet God healed him at just the right time that would bring glory to His name. It makes me think of things in my life that seem to be constant battles, going on and on. And I feel encouraged knowing that when God’s hand of deliverance comes for those issues, it will be at just the right time to bring His Name glory.

“God has a purpose for you, and He’s working to make this purpose come true. And because it’s His purpose and because He’s doing it, it’s never in doubt. It’s going to happen. God knows that it is so.”

Just before this statement, the author has shared that God put on his heart a passion to write a certain book. He wrote this book and received, consecutively, 150 rejections before it was picked up for publication. And through the whole experience, he continued to feel God pushing him to pursue it. So he did. I know that I often feel God has put a dream in my heart for something, but the longer it takes the more I begin to question it. Was that dream really from God? Maybe I made it up in my own head. Perhaps it’s time to give up. For me, these words were a good and timely reminder to “stay the course” and trust that God will do His thing in His time.

I hope that something in these words gives you encouragement as well.

From Dishonour to Freedom

Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. ~Isaiah 25:8-9 (NRSV)

In just two short weeks we will celebrate the birth of the Messiah, the One who removes our disgrace and wipes our tears.

Don't you just love that phrase, "He will take away our disgrace?"

Disgrace (n) - shame, dishonour, discredit, scandal, humiliation.

Disgrace (v) - bring shame on, bring into disrepute, tarnish, stain.

The coming of the Christ child was not just a promise to forgive our sins, but to remove the scandal of those sins, so that our names (and His) could not be brought into disrepute.

Do you find that you sometimes go to God seeking forgiveness, yet you continue to allow the sins you have confessed to stain your own view of yourself? You allow the shame of the sins to linger? I know I do. I'm truly sorry for the wrong I've done, but it never leaves me; it's always in the back of my mind. I can't share the gospel with this person - I'm too messed up. With my background, I should never be in public ministry. I can't possibly serve God in that capacity! I'm a liar, a failure, a hypocrite. Anyone who knows me will know the truth about who I am and what I've done...

Yet we are promised not only that we will be forgiven, but that our disgrace will be taken away. The redemption of Christ means that the stains on our lives are completely removed.

You know those laundry commericals? The ones where the "testers" grab someone in a grocery store and rub all sorts of goo and gunk onto her white shirt? Then they treat the stain with their special formula stain remover, wash the shirt - in cold, icy water, no less - and it's like the stain was never there.

It's the same when Christ erases our dishonour - like it was never there.

So don't let past sin hold you back. If God is calling you to teach a Bible study, to speak in front of a group, to share the gospel with your neighbour - do it! Your old junk doesn't matter - it was never there. Don't hold onto shame that Christ has already removed. It is the very fact that you are imperfect and you have a past that will bring glory and honour to the Name of Jesus. The fact that our tarnish has been brought to a shine is a demonstration of His greatness and grace.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ~Romans 8:1-2 (emphasis mine)

My Shoulders are no Longer Hunched over by the Weight of the World... or some other witty title that captures the intent of this post

When we decided to move, I knew that having Pat home every night would be special, wonderful, and a blessing to all of us. Because God has made it clear that we are to leave our families and cleave to our spouses, I knew that He would bless this decision. In spite of the heartache moving away from our extended family, friends, ministry, church, and overall support network, there was not a doubt in my mind that this was the right thing to do. (Lest you think that by "moving away" I mean we went far, we are only a 90 minute drive from our old home!)

You know what I had no idea about, though? Just how much difference it makes in life to have a second pair of hands around on a regular basis! I am not the only one on call in the middle of the night. I don't have to wrangle up friends and grandparents to assist with getting all the kids to activities. I am no longer chef, bus girl, and dishwasher for virtually every dinner. I'm not the only cog in the bath time assembly line. I don't have to do loving and teaching and discipline and homework all tangled together - on my own. Until I experienced the joy of having my husband home nightly, I had no clue how overwhelmed I was without him.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like Pat was never home. But he was away and working late just often enough that I settled into a comfortable (if not slightly harried) groove of doing it all. I didn't realize the weight of that burden until it was lifted from me.

Sure, we've gotten into a few squabbles along the way. I had a good system, but Pat employs different methods. Sometimes I forget that the end result is more important than the methods and I try to remind him that I know how to do things best. Thankfully, he understands the "planner" part of me and can help me loosen my grip gently.

You know what else has surprised me a bit? The simple fact that I really do like Pat! I can hear you chuckling... It's not that I ever didn't like him, but that I was worried that we might get on one another's nerves and grow tired of each other's company after so much "togetherness." But we're not! Well, I'm not; I guess you'd have to ask him if I'm getting on his nerves. :)

I like talking with him, hanging out with him, fighting over the remote control with him, planning out our week together. It's like we're dating again and don't want to be apart for any lengthy period of time - and I love it! All these gooey feelings kinda make a girl want to do something as an expression of all that love...like maybe make a baby. Nothing says "we're madly in love" than creating life together. Whaddya say, honey? Should we explore the possibility of going for #6?

Just kidding... Sort of.

The Tree

Last night, we finally decked out our little tree with lights and ornaments. It is now a gloriously unsymmetrical mess of homemade ornaments.

As we decorated the tree and bee-bopped to some Christmas tunes, my mind wandered... Why do we decorate a tree for Jesus' birthday? This morning I asked my trusty friend, Google that very question. The answers were many and varied - many completely inaccurate, I'm sure. But I found a couple explanations that resonated...

The triangle shape of the tree represents the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. The top of the tree points Heavenward.

The colour of the tree, green, represents life. Evergreen means eternal life.

The needles of a tree grow upward, like hands raised praising God.

The lights on the tree glitter and glisten like the streets of Heaven.

And the giving of gifts is an act of love and charity; a reflection of the love Christ has for us.

Looking at the tree, beautiful and shiny, brought to mind another tree. A tree that was roughly carved down, limbs and leaves and bark stripped away, ugly and bare, made into a cross.

It's impossible to reflect on the birth of the Christ child without the mind coming to His reason for being born. As we celebrate the Saviour birth, we are reminded of His death. A sacrifice of love for our sins. It seems fitting, doesn't it, that we use a tree to celebrate His birth, and tree to celebrate His death?

(Yes, we can celebrate Christ's death, because we know that it was not the end, but the beginning. God raised Him from the dead, just as His Salvation pulls us up from the darkness of death.)

The Christmas tree...a symbol of the eternal life we have been promised through Christ.

And Again, as I Hop Back on the Wagon

God is speaking to me about my eating again. He's reminding me that He provided me with the perfect "diet" plan - a plan for eating His way. He's showing me that this plan was not intended to be a temporary, short-term suggestion, but a way of life.

I've been plugging my ears and singing, "La, la, la, la!" for a while now. I don't want to sacrifice. I don't want to work hard. I don't want to struggle. There's a little rebel inside of me that doesn't want to do the thing that everyone else is doing (makes sense, doesn't it - refusing to eat healthy and exercise so that no one thinks I'm just trying to be a part of the "in" crowd?).

What I've come to realize, though, is that what I am really choosing is self-abuse. I fill my body with junk that I think tastes good, and I get fatter. I grow more lethargic and lose motivation. I feel queasy on and off all day, I have heartburn at night, my back aches and my feet hurt, I have headaches and feel irritable. All caused by me.

God may not have given me a supermodel's body - thin and willowy, completely flat abs and curves in all the right places. But He did give me this body. He has a vision for how it's supposed to look and feel, and I'm pretty sure He wasn't thinking of this.

Here are some thoughts that I've jotted down the past while as I've pondered this subject:

- Why would God reveal His plan/purpose/calling for me right now, when I'm clearly too fat, tired, unhealthy, and lazy to fulfill it?

- Given the fact that the Holy Spirit dwells within all believers (that includes me), how can I accept giving Him a sub-par, unhealthy dwelling place? Someone once gave me this evaluation for deciding which shows and movies to watch: if Jesus were sitting right beside you, would you be willing to watch it? The same could be asked about what I put in my body.

- When I eat particularly terribly, I have noticed that I tend to be extra irritable and impatient with my children and husband. (And, my acne breaks out like crazy.) I shouldn't be surprised; it's basic math...junk in = junk out.

Quote of the day: Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy... And if we continue to make God's temple our trash can, we are helping the devil accomplish his mission - one meal at a time. ~Sheri Rose Shepherd

Top Ten Signs that You WAY Overindulged at the Olive Garden

10. You needed to undo the button on your pants between the appetizer/salad/breadsticks and the entree.

9. You requested the remainder of your meal to packed up, only to forget it on the table.

8. As you drive away you realize that, in your food-drunk state, you overtipped the waitress a LOT.

7. You and your spouse debate whether you should still go to a movie or simply crawl into bed and explode.

6. When you sit down in the movie theatre you again undo the button on your pants.

5. The smell of popcorn makes you nauseous.

4. You aren't able to hold your bladder through the entire movie because your stomach is putting too much pressure on it.

3. At the end of the movie you are absolutely certain that the best thing to do is crawl into bed and explode.

2. You have odd, unusual, and freakish dreams that keep you in a restless state of half-sleep all night long.

1. You awake at 3am - a full 8 hours after completing your meal - with such heartburn and nausea that you take 4 Zantac, sleep sitting up, consider calling an ambulance because you are certain you're dying, and eventually swear off Olive Garden for the rest of your life.

Computer Issues - Warning

Just wanted to warn my friends to avoid all the hype about Google Chrome.

I downloaded it, tried it, didn't like it as much as Internet Explorer (completely different menus and such - very annoying), uninstalled it.

From the moment I unistalled GC, hyperlinks stopped working in my email, in Word docs, etc. I was getting an error message that "this operation was cancelled due to the settings on my computer."

After much searching, someone suggested that this problem is linked to GC's uninstallation - that when you uninstall it, it also deletes essential registry stuff for hyperlinks to work. So I reinstalled. Now hyperlinks work.

Nothing is really more annoying than knowing I must keep a program I don't like and won't use, letting it take up valuable memory space, simply because getting rid of it messes with my system.

Just thought you'd like to know, so if you do try out GC you are making an informed decision.