Why I Like Harry Potter

Stay tuned for more great posts written by three fantastic and inspiring women. Two weeks of vacation for me means two weeks of fresh content for you. Enjoy! (And don't forget to comment and let these ladies know that what they write matters.) See ya soon.

My Facebook tells people I attended the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which of course I didn’t because it’s a fictional school in the world of Harry Potter created by J.K. Rowling.  Apparently this is not obvious, because I’ve received messages from people who are concerned my immortal soul is in danger because I’m learning to be a warlock of some kind.

Social misconceptions aside, I find the story of Harry to be hugely relevant in this day and age, and especially in my personal life in recent days.  For those who aren’t all that familiar with HP, the basic rundown is a boy, Harry, is faced with the choice to be good or to be evil.  It sounds simple enough, but as the books go deeper you begin to see that there is a very strong part of Harry that wants to be evil.

Like our sin nature.  We have this internal drive to be self-serving, to do what pleasures us with no regard for the consequences.  And it is often far easier to give into that then to step outside of ourselves and look to what is right, to what is good.  Despite the fact that it makes so much sense to live a God-centered life, it’s just so natural to live a self-centered life.

I like HP because it conceptualizes something for me that I’ve struggled with.  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!“ ( 2 Corinthians 5:16-18)

This makes it sound so easy. I’ve been reborn in Christ, my sin nature is defeated in him, ergo I am now free of its influences.

Not.

If you skip back a little, you’ll see that this chapter starts out with Paul discussing the differences between our existence in this world and our future existence in perfection, and he makes it clear that we’re still stuck here in these naked bodies, aching for the perfect wardrobe. Then he launches into this conversation about being new and displaying the righteousness of Christ, where we get the old and new comment.

I think where we go awry is when we skim the surface of this with fluffy smiles and nods.  We immediately remind ourselves that we’re new creations and we don’t have to act the way we used to, so don’t.  Like if you get a new car. Why are you driving the old beater to work when you’ve got a brand new car to drive?

Makes it sound so easy.  So simple.  Except it’s not like a new car at all.  It’s more like going on a diet. You crave chocolate, chips, candy, whatever your snack of choice is. You want it.  You love it.  It’s soooo good.  Admit it.  You’re hungry now.  But you know that stuff’s not good for you.  Oh sure, there are lots of tasty foods out there that are healthy and good for you, and you know you should eat those instead, but is that a box of Honey Cruller Timbits???

Being a new creation doesn’t erase our sin nature.  We still fight with it, we still war with it.  We’re not slaves to our sin nature anymore, but it still influences us.  That old creature is lying right beneath the new and poking at the surface to get attention.  It’s hard to say no to it.  I think that’s what Paul is saying by pointing out that we’re naked and longing for heavenly clothes.  I think he’s saying, “Hey, this is tough, living on this planet.  This is hard.  It’s going to keep being hard until we’re fully restored.  But the great thing is that we are new creations and now we’ve got God.  So reach out, hold onto him and live new.”

Harry Potter has to battle with this in a very literal sense.  As his story unfolds, we see that the evil inside him has a strong connection to the antagonist, Lord Voldemort.  The more depraved Voldemort reveals himself to be, the more you see the darkness Harry is struggling with.  Eventually this culminates in a showdown where Harry has to sacrifice himself in order to destroy that internal evil and ultimately through that is able to defeat Voldemort.

Paul’s words used to bother me. I felt like there was something wrong with me that I wasn’t able to just automatically jump into that new car and drive off.  The saga of Harry Potter made me go back to that passage and re-examine it in a new light.  There’s a lot of hope in acknowledging that something is hard and that I need God’s help to rise above it.

“Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” – Albus Dumbledore to Harry Potter, in The Goblet of Fire.

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Faye Polson is a single 30 year old nerd who loves hanging out with kids, thinking about stuff, public speaking and web design. You can find her on Twitter any day of the week.



Ironically, I think Faye and I have "talked" more since I moved than we did when we lived in the same city. I always enjoy reading Faye's funny (and sometimes gross) Facebook statuses (or is it stati?), and I knew she'd have something thought-provoking to share.

A Heart of Flesh

Stay tuned for more great posts written by four fantastic and inspiring women. Two weeks of vacation for me means two weeks of fresh content for you. Enjoy! (And don't forget to comment and let these ladies know that what they write matters.) See ya soon.

The words rushed over me with a slow, deep sting; and I felt judgment and misunderstanding and trembling and fear start to overtake me.

The person before me continued on; uttering unkind words meant to hurt, meant to cause havoc; casually flinging them at me like fiery darts full of poison. I swayed under the onslaught, longing oh so suddenly for that old heart of mine to come rushing to my rescue.

I reveled briefly in the remembrance of my old comforting friend; the dappled pebbles of indifference and smooth sleek skipping rocks of avoidance and huge weighty boulders of perceived control building an impenetrable fortress high and tall and impossible to break through around my bruising heart~ that heart of stone I had carried around most of my life like a ball and chain, dragging darkness and hopelessness and condemnation around with me as I stumbled through days where Jesus was no where to be found.

But oh the grace~ oh the sweet mercy~ the beauty of His love and salvation…

I blink and take a step back, letting THAT remembrance and THESE words overtake me; a salve to my weary soul…

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

~Ezekiel 36:26, NIV

I think as the rant continues that the new spirit I’ve been given is a gift to be shared. The steady beat of a heart of flesh; filled to the brim with His glorious love and acceptance and worthiness and joy~ filled to the brim with a new life meant to be proclaimed.

And when my heart is being attacked, when it is constricted with the pain and sorrows and unfairness of this world, I now have the choice to rush back to my old defenses, or to allow His defenses to stand firm.

When pressed to my limits, when my heart is being squeezed so tight I can barely see a way out; that’s when I can allow His love to overflow out of the new spirit He’s given me. That’s when I can shed grace on those that are unseeing.

Maybe that love will show them that they also can be covered; that their heart of stone can be a heart of flesh.

So I start to listen, start to ask questions, start to try to better understand why the other person is hurting so deep and so far that they feel poison words are the only answer.

We sit and share, and the first small seeds of faith are planted in a fellow sufferer’s heart as I share Jesus and pray they continue to run straight into His arms.

I’ve never been more grateful for a heart of flesh as the Gospel comes alive right before my eyes.

Is there a situation in your life that makes you want to run to old defenses? How can you allow the grace and love of Jesus to overcome?

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Today's post is from a fellow BLASTer (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers and Teachers), Lindsey Hartz. We haven't met in person, but I'm sure when we do our conversation will take us through a whole pot of coffee.

Lindsey has a passion to see lives changed, and she's willing to bare it all if her story will bring you one step closer to Him.

You can get to know Lindsey at A New Life, Twitter, and Facebook.

God Doesn't Waste a Hurt

Stay tuned for more great posts written by five fantastic and inspiring women. Two weeks of vacation for me means two weeks of fresh content for you. Enjoy! (And don't forget to comment and let these ladies know that what they write matters.) See ya soon.

My friend, Louise, is the one responsible for getting me started as a blogger. She's also the one responsible for teaching me the healing power of being real, transparent, and authentic in our interactions with others. It's because of her open and honest blogging (and life), that I found the courage to share about my "issues" with anger as a mother.

Louise is one of the most courageous women I know. Not because she has no fear, but because she keeps moving ahead in spite of her fear, leaning hard into the arms of Jesus.

This is a glimpse into her story...
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Hello, my name is Louise. I am a grateful believer in Jesus that struggles with anger and is in recovery for relationship addiction.

It wasn't one moment that got me to the place I am, much like many of you, it was a road in which I chose to take. A road that brought me to a place of brokeness and despair, filled with hopelessness and barely a thread of faith left.

My story is not one of a good Christian woman, faithful in study nor raising her children in the way of the Lord. My story is one of an abuser, a victim, a suicidal, a lesbian, a mistress, a girl.

In April, after losing my job due much in part to life choices I had made, I went to my first Celebrate Recovery meeting at my church.

It was three years prior that I had sat in the same pew, having returned from an overseas mission trip with my family full of excitement. It was also three years prior that I sat in that same pew alone, left by my husband for another woman.

Instead of pulling close to God in that time, I ran to fill the void in another relationship - redefining my sexuality, redefining my values and my life and my everything. While at the time, I justified and reasoned with my choices it is only now that the veil is lifted that I can see the light of how my true hurt and habit formed.

From the outside, I appeared the happiest I had ever been. Even after that relationship ended, and I moved out and on with my kids did the pattern continue. New relationship, new sin, old patterns. Behind closed doors, I was angry and hurting my children both emotionally and physically. I pushed too hard, yelled too loud and spoke words of death. I became what I despised in life. I wished I was dead.

I couldn't be the woman I wanted to be. No matter how hard I tried, I would eventually fall back to old hang ups and habits of dealing with situations. It was then that I realized I was powerless and needed God's healing in my life. In faith, I wad reminded (by Tyler!) the words spoken over me, and despite the fear of showing up every week to puke my life out to a small group of women, held to it with whatever small strength I felt I had in me.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

This verse has been a significant part of my life since coming to Christ in 2004. It has been prayed over my family in service, in counselling, by strangers, on t-shirts, and in the most unlikely of circumstances. In essence, it defines my life and a call from God in to live a life of reckless faith.

It isn't my mission on this earth to do anything more than what God commands of me in the moment. I cannot control what defines my happiness, where I will work, or even the relationship I will one day be in (despite my persistent and slightly pathetic begging).

For the past 4+ months I have been privileged, by no mistake, to meet and share in a study with a group of 12 women (chick disciples - hello!) on Tuesday evenings and a larger group every Friday. It hasn't been easy, or without intense struggle. There have been many times that I stuttered to share my junk and times that I have wanted to quit.

I am entering an inventory section of my life, one where I must share all my hurts, hang ups and habits in detail with God, myself and a woman I trust. It's not easy to see my sin sitting on sheet after sheet after sheet of paper in front of me, let alone say it out loud but as I walk in this process I have faith in the following verse.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

When Tyler sent an email my way, asking if I would write a post my immediate reaction was to laugh. Our God is a God of restoration. It has been years since I allowed the Holy Spirit to guide my life and even within this recent walk I have been reluctant and too ashamed to feel as if I had the right to call myself a Christian women. But! You know what? I learned early on in this process that God doesn't waste a hurt and while this road is still a long one for me (and you!) to walk, I know (and hope you are!) encouraged to let God lead you through a process of reflection and healing.

Thanks for letting me share.

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Louise is plowing through life as a single mom to four - three boys and a daughter. Despite never wanting the life of a "working woman," she's discovered some hidden talents and, I think, found a bit of enjoyment being in the workforce. She doesn't blog these days (which is a sad thing for me), but you can follow her on Twitter. She says a lot of funny stuff on there.

Turning Adversity into Pearls, part 2

Stay tuned for more great posts written by seven fantastic and inspiring women. Two weeks of vacation for me means two weeks of fresh content for you. Enjoy! (And don't forget to comment and let these ladies know that what they write matters.) See ya soon.

...continued from yesterday...

courtesy of single.pearl.necklace.blogspot.com

Adversity can be Good for us

Never having adversity is just plain bad for us. You all know what happens to someone who is given anything their heart desires, and never has to struggle through anything. That person becomes selfish, weak …someone who is self-centred, judgemental, angry when thwarted, and with no compassion. A former major league baseball player, Bobby Valentine said, “If life only had good things, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good things.” And that can be a cancer worse than cancer. 

Remember, no matter how unpleasant or fearful, everything that comes into our lives has been filtered by the fingers of God Himself. He has plan and a purpose for our lives as mentioned in Jer. 29:11. Sometimes that plan has to include adversity to bring us to the hope and the future that He has in store for us, to transform us into a pearl....to not leave us in our “oyster” state.

When you experience a loss, God gives you an even greater gift or blessing in return....first of all, the gift of Himself.  Psalm 138:3 says,

“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your loving kindness, O LORD, is everlasting.” God himself becomes our gift. Nothing is more precious that that!

And, He is gracious with other life gifts as well. After divorce and 12 years of single parenthood, God brought the most amazing man into our lives, my son and I. He is a man filled with such love and faithfulness both to me and my son. My chubby, little, grey haired Barry has been just an amazing gift to my heart. He is my best friend. 

And of course, as I already mentioned, he now has his 2^nd cancer. The idea of living without my husband...of losing this gift...is heartbreaking. But, if or when that happens, again, God’s gift to me still will be the great gift of God Himself...to be my strength and comfort...to be my husband...to be my joy. 

Each adversity and loss reveals our trustworthy God, who will never leave us nor forsake us, who gives us strength to persevere in every heartache. Our contentment is not based on  circumstances, but on our relationship with Christ.

Adversity can be Good for Others

Suffering is not superficial. I don’t want to minimize what adversity can do to us.  But, when God says “yes” and allows loss and anguish into our lives, it is for our own good. He may be trying to get our attention. He may be teaching us something.  He may be seeking to minister to those around us. But He hurts with us. He allows us to be human and weak, expects us to be honest…to weep when we need to weep. He treasures our tears.  hey are so precious and valuable to Him that He stores them in a bottle.  Psalm 56:8 says:

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” I love that! My tears stored in a bottle.

And, He wants us to cry out to Him in prayer and supplication. He is so filled with compassion when He hears from our hearts. In Revelation 8:4, we read:

“The smoke of the incense, mixed with the prayers of God's holy people, ascended up to God from the altar where the angel had poured them out.”

Now, I’m kind of a picture person, so the picture I see is God breathing in our prayers…our prayers becoming a part of His actual being. And of course, when you breath in, you must also breath out.  God breathes out his Presence and Power and Might into our situation. Through our adversity, God wants to show Himself to us and to the world.

We Can't Beat Adversity on our Own

Beyond your own prayers, don’t try to do this adversity thing on your own. Did you know, for safety sake, pearl divers usually work in pairs? Wisdom for our lives as well. Invite other pearl girls to enter into your adversity…for mutual safety, encouragement and strengthening in your adversity.

Sometimes we’re so busy trying to expel the adversity from our lives, rather than allowing the pearl to develop. Over the years, I have often prayed that God do whatever it takes in my life or the lives of my loved ones to accomplish His will. Many of my loved ones still live in the mud and mire…they are far from God.

Could it be that God is answering my prayer by bringing adversity into my life? So they can see how God turned me, an oyster like mess, into a pearl. So that they can see God in the layers? So that God can break into their lives? If yes, then truly God, do whatever it takes. Kind of a frightening prayer, but I really mean it.

Another purpose God may have for your adversity is to be a living pearl to others. There are others silently suffering around you, making the same mistakes you made, experiencing the same heartaches or betrayal you experienced, trying to expel that grit or irritation in all the wrong ways. Did you know, the pearl is the only gemstone created from a still living organism? 

So, use your adversity to minister to living, hurting people around you. Some where, somehow, God came into your life and created a gem…a living pearl, from your pain. God doesn’t want you to waste your pain…He has a purpose for it…use it to help someone else. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says

“The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

Pearls from Adversity

Remember the oyster, just living in the mud when something happened. A piece of sand got stuck inside its shell and caused great pain. Rather than expel the sand, the piece of sand became coated. At first, there was no beauty to be seen, but layer after microscopic layer, and with the passing of time, that unexpected source of pain was transformed into a beautiful pearl.

God’s grace covers our pain and transforms it into a beautiful pearl, iridescent, lustrous, reflecting Christ....layers of salvation, raw transparency, honesty, prayer, assurance, trust, patience, rejoicing, gratitude, hope, intimacy, compassion, resting, surrender.

God, who is infinitely wise and skilled, knows just how to care for you. Trust that He is shaping you, layer after pearl layer, into someone beautiful, honourable, and good…able to reflect His glory.

Let God turn the grit of your life into something beautiful…a beautiful pearl, a gem made from a living person, YOU!  A PEARL OF GREAT WORTH!

What adversities have you experienced that God has turned (or still is turning) into pearls?

Turning Adversity into Pearls

Stay tuned for some great posts written by eight fantastic and inspiring women. Two weeks of vacation for me means two weeks of fresh content for you. Enjoy! (And don't forget to comment and let these ladies know that what they write matters.) See ya soon.

My Auntie Lori, Grandma, Mom, and Auntie Lucille (aka Tante).

This is a guest post written by my Tante (not sure if I spelled it correctly, but that's German for Auntie), Lucille. I have watched her faith since I was a young girl, and dreamed of having the close relationship with God that she has.

One of my favorite memories is from a time I stayed with her and my Uncle Barry for the summer... I had a question to ask and couldn't find her anywhere. Eventually, I discovered her in her en-suite bathroom. She was on the floor in there, little book in hand, praying over all the needs she had recorded.

As a couple, my Aunt and Uncle have taken it upon themselves to invest in the lives of each of their nieces and nephews. I can't count the number of years they took me (and my other cousins) along to Family Camp. And though their Family Camp has shut down, they still take my younger cousins out camping every year! They never "pushed" religion on us, but just let us experience Jesus through the quiet and faithful routine of their lives.

I pray that her steadfast faith will speak into your life today, as you read these words. (Excerpted from a talk she gave at a women's event.)
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On May 21^st, 2010 my husband had 18” of his bowel removed. August 10^th, as I began preparing for the Alliance Women’s Kick Off, was the first day of my husband’s chemo for colon cancer.   

About 4 years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, resulting in a prostectomy. However, his PSA levels continued to increase, so, next on the medical agenda were 35 treatments of radiation.

Now, we are excited about this new cancer! Why? Because it is not a metastasized cancer! That would mean his original cancer was spreading, and since this is not the case, and this is a new one we are excited! The prostate cancer will have to take a back seat until the chemo is finished.

Once done chemo, Barry will again be facing treatment for his prostate cancer…hormone therapy. Oh joy!  I’m not sure my ego can handle it if he gets bigger breasts than me!   

Adversity Happens

Adversity, we all have it. It actually is the natural state of our fallen world. Jesus himself said, “In this world you will have trouble.”  

I like words and definitions, so here is the definition of adversity: 

1. misfortune: hardship and suffering, or 

2. adverse happening: an extremely unfavourable experience or event

Often we look around at others and think, "Wow, their life is easy and great. They have it made. No one has gone through the adversity I’m going through." Not so! 

So, when you look at me and other women, I hope you will see just another woman who has had a variety of struggles…some just happen…like  cancer…others might be self inflicted because of poor decision making or reacting in the natural…others might be done to you by someone with evil intent.  

I want to tell you about a few of my adversities, not to dwell on them, but to show you what God was doing in the midst of them.

Ø     Raised in an angry home where I felt unloved…propelling me into a negative search for love

Ø     Married young because I was looking for love

Ø     Divorced right after the birth of my son because of my 1^st husband’s unfaithfulness

Ø     Single parenthood and the accompanying low income problems

Ø     Trying to expel my adversity and searching for relief from the pain and anger through drugs, drinking, and more bad relationships

Ø     Anger and emotional pain

Ø     Wanting to be dead

Ok, I’ll stop there for a minute. Can you see how most of this resulted from reacting in the natural, kind of like a wounded animal might...just trying to get away from the pain....but in a way, self inflicted as well? Nothing really beautiful developing there! 

God uses our Adversity

But, that’s when God delights to step in and do the GREAT REVERSAL, transforming brokenness to beauty. 

He uses our adversity to make us desperate, desperate enough to search for answers. And to show us how futile our own answers are. I finally turned my broken hearted mess over to Him, and what an amazing thing He did. He restored me, healed me, gave me hope.

Psalm 40:2 became my special message from God.

² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.

 ³ He put a new song in my mouth,
       a hymn of praise to our God.
       Many will see and fear
       and put their trust in the LORD.

Pearls from Adversity

Reminds me of an oyster. An oyster is kind of a slimy looking creature and lives in the depths of the sea…probably a rather dark and murky bottom.  But, what does the oyster create? Again, a GREAT REVERSAL...a pearl.   

­The formation of a natural pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster shell, and irritates it. It's kind of like the oyster getting a splinter. The oyster's natural reaction is to cover up that irritant to protect itself. So, the oyster covers the irritant with layers of a substance called nacre. Eventually, layer by microscopic layer, a pearl is formed -- a thing of great beauty and much valued. None perfect...each one different. But, A PEARL OF GREAT WORTH! 

So, much like the oyster and pearl, God covers our irritants or adversities with Himself, to protect us and change us into His Pearl Girls.  ow, I have to admit I plagiarized that name, but I just loved the name when I came across it…it has that touch of whimsy…I just had to use it ( http://margaretmcsweeney.com/ ).   want to be a Pearl Girl! A PEARL OF GREAT WORTH!

to be continued...

Do you test or trust?

Our problem is that we want to test God rather than trust Him. We want to experiment with him rather than rely on Him.

We're like the boy who tests the doubtful ice instead of skating confidently where God is leading. What is our faith worth is we don't trust completely?

It is perfectly natural to trust in our own understanding, to rely on our own natural strengths, gifts, or talents (and indeed some modern prophets tell us to do so!). But it is the walk of faith to trust His teaching and direction.

Give Him first place and let Him have precedence. This is the secret of safe guidance and peaceful progression. Simple dependence upon Him, committing our all to Him, obeying Him implicitly - this is how to acknowledge Him "in all thy ways."

~ Al Bryant

Is there an area in your life where you've been testing God, rather than trusting Him and stepping out in obedience?

Ode to My Mom

My Mom is the best.

Really, she is! All my friends used to say so when I was a teenager. They all still say it now.

I have friends whose mothers are unable or unwilling to do childcare - not even for a few hours, let alone days on end. Not mine! She will use her vacation time from work to move in with my brood while I am away.

I have friends who really don't get along with their mothers, even as adults. Not me! My Mom is my best friend. We talk on the phone pretty much daily, we love spending time together shopping or at the spa, painting house or cleaning.

Sure, it was annoying to have all my teenage friends come to my Mom for counsel about boys, family, and friends. But it secretly made me proud. Even now, my friends are treated as an extension of her family. My Mom will babysit my friends' kids to help me coordinate a girls' night with them. She will rally the troops and pour her time and money into my causes and the causes of my friends. And she takes each need of my family and my friends' families to prayer. Faithfully.

Like any child of divorce, I had my "daddy issues," but I have no doubt that my Mom is the reason I came through them with significantly fewer scrapes and scars than many of my peers.

My Mom has taught me how to work hard, she's demonstrated for me how to stay optimistic and have joy in difficult situations, and she has made me feel loved beyond measure every day of my life.

My Mom is my biggest fan, staunchest supporter, and best encourager.

As I get older, I am beginning to recognize the many characteristics my Mom passed down to me: being organized and detail-oriented, enjoying writing and speaking, loving a good book, being a leader and an encourager, learning to choose my words carefully, my slight propensity to boss others around, and so much more. I am a part of her, she's a part of me, and that is amazing and precious and so much fun!

Thank you, Lord, for giving me to my Mom and for choosing my Mom for me.

Thank you, Mom, for keeping me at a time when that was not the socially accepted thing to do. And thank you for loving me when I've been unlovable, for holding me up when I've been on the brink of collapse, and for pushing me forward when I want dig my heels in.

Thank you, Mom, for being my friend. I love you.



Can you believe that I can't find a single photo of just my Mom and I in the past many years?! But here we are with her Mom, my still gorgeous and energetic Grandma. If you ever wonder where my Mom comes by all that energy...



Does God Really Talk to us?

I figured there would be one or two people with that very question following my Conversation with God. I was all ready to sit down and do my best to explain how God speaks to us. And then I read this...

The Bible is God's language. His native tongue. In the Old Testament alone, the writers explicitly state 3,808 times that they are conveying God's words. You will have a very, very difficult time hearing God's voice if you don't familiarize yourself with His language.

The more you read, hear, speak, write, memorize, study, seek to understand, teach and sing God's word, the more you will discern His voice when He speaks to you.

And I thought to myself, "Wow, she is way smarter than me on this subject! After all, hearing the voice of God is Sandy's "thing." She's super-good at explaining it, plus she's a fantastic writer! It's much better to send people to her blog if they want to understand this whole concept of hearing God speak." So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Not sure if God really speaks to us? Or don't get how He speaks and how we hear? Want someone to makes sense of it all? Visit Sandy at God Speaks Today. She's revisiting some good teachings on this very subject. If you follow her blog, you will discover that the learning never ends!

Obsessed by Unbelief

(The post I mentioned yesterday - you know, the one for friends and spouses of women who struggle with anger - is gonna have to wait 'til Monday. Something came up and I had to get it out today!)

In my life, I have noticed a direct link between worry and prayer. I believe it's referred to as an inverse relationship. That is, when I am filled with worry over something, chances are good that I haven't been praying about it very much.

I have spent many mornings this month confessing my worry to the Lord and asking Him to replace my fretting thoughts with the peace and truth of His Word. But not until this very moment did it occur to me what is really going on...

First, all the while I've been calling it "worry" or "fear" or "fretting." The plain truth is that what I am allowing to go on in my mind is nothing short of unbelief. I am not believing that:
- God is who He says He is, and
- God can do what He says He can do. *
I have allowed my heart and mind to slip away from, what I believe, are the foundational truths of my faith.

Second, I have become obsessed. "What we allow our minds to dwell on, there our hearts will be also." (I feel as though that should be in quotes, because I'm certain they're not my words. But for the life of me I cannot recall who said them or where they might be in the Bible. Feel free to fill in the blank.) My thoughts have been so focused on this one "problem" that it has become this thing that I am constantly thinking about. I wish that I were as obsessed with God as I have become over this small issue. Imagine if all I could think about all the time were God and His Word!

Third, (and I don't know why it has taken several weeks for this to occur to me) this is a spiritual battle. Given all the God-sized plans we see in our family's future (missions trip, speaking to women, new church connections, and more), I guess it's not surprising that the enemy would try to come at us. But if I know anything about spiritual warfare, it's this - victory is ours! All that we need to do is claim the authority we have been given in Christ and the enemy will be utterly defeated!

While this post was written mostly for my own benefit (first I live it, then I write it, then I process it), I will say that your prayers for our family would not go to waste. Thanks for listening, friends.

Can I pray for you? If there is anything I can pray for you about, please let me know (either in the comments or via email). It would be an honour to lift up your needs before the Lord. And goodness knows I need to get my heart and mind focused on something other than myself! Sheesh!

* From Beth Moore's "Believing God." (If you've never done this study, you should! Foundational, faith-growing, life changing.)

Hearing the Lord

"God said..."

"I heard God tell me..."

"God spoke to me..."

I remember hearing other Christians use those phrases when my faith was new to me and wondering how that all worked. Did they mean that God actually talked?! Did they hear a big, booming voice from above?

Somewhere along the way, I came to the understanding that people were not actually referring to hearing voices in their heads. Rather, hearing God was more about the heart. "Sensing" in your heart that God was trying to speak to you, whether through His Word, through a song or a sermon, through the words of a friend, and the like. I am now one of those people who tends to say, "God told me to..."

In my quiet time this morning, the study guide I am using posed a question: When was the first time you heard God speak to you?

I can't really remember the first time. I remember before, and I know after, but that first moment eludes me.

How about you? When was the first time you heard God speak to you?

Just my Imagination?

Did you ever entertain the question, "What if this is all just a big dream?" As a teen, I recall wondering about that a lot. Perhaps the life I was leading wasn't my life at all, but merely a vivid dream that I would soon awake from.

Sometimes, I hear that same concept applied to faith. "What if God is just a figment of your imagination?"

These are good questions. What if? How do we know that we're not all really asleep? Or living in a computer grid world of some sort? Or that God really exists?

Basically, it all comes down to faith, doesn't it?! At some point in our lives, we must all decide what we believe to be true and what we sense to be true in our hearts. Believing that I am awake and alive and living in a real world requires faith. Believing the opposite - that we are all living in a dream, or perhaps we are all living in a fabricated world where others watch our lives on TV, or perhaps we are being controlled by alien forces - requires faith. Believing that a grand explosion turned a minuscule fragment of an atom into living, breathing matter takes faith. Believing in a God that created us, the world, and everything in it - you guessed it, takes faith. (Frankly, I think it takes less faith to believe in a Creator than in some of those other concepts. But anyhoo...)

There are no "right" answers to explain the hows and whys of God. All we can offer is our faith and our testimony. The story of how God has worked in us and changed us is the best evidence we can offer to back up our faith. Our testimony is better than any scientific argument, better than any intellectual debate. Our testimony is OURS, and whether someone believes it or not, they cannot argue against it. They can only choose to accept or reject is as true, on faith.

This leads us to a tough question. Does our testimony offer evidence of that which we believe? Does Jesus really work? Are we actually different because of God in our lives?

Share with me your random thoughts on such matters.

(The concepts listed above - such as living in a dream world, computer world, and movie world - are fantastic imaginative ideas borrowed from the silver screen. Movies referenced are: "Inception," "The Matrix," and "The Truman Show." I'm sure there's a movie about how we live in a world controlled by aliens as well, but it's not coming to me. Also referenced is a theory on how the earth came to be, called the "Big Bang Theory," which is also a relatively hilarious TV sitcom that actually has nothing to do with said theory. The theory referenced which I put my faith in is aptly named "Creationism.")

When God Messes Up Your Plans

I am a planner and a list-maker. I like to know what is ahead, what my next step should be. I do not like it when my plans get messed with! (Some people may refer to that tendency as “control issues.”)

This weekend, I breezed into a luxurious conference hotel with big plans. As my heeled sandals tapped out their little clickity-clack tune, I ticked items off the checklist.

Click – Attend meetings to pitch book proposal.

Clack – Take copious notes as I learn everything I need to know about speaking and writing and building my ministry.

Click – Have a Jesus weekend, experiencing Him in fresh new ways.

Clack – Network with people in the industry.

Clickity-clack, clickity-clack.

Day one ultimately went as planned. I had a fantastic meeting with one editor who accepted my proposal. The literary agent I sat down with also invited me to send her my proposal. I learned so much about marketing, speaking, and writing in so few hours that I wondered if it really might be possible for someone’s brain to explode. The hours I spent in sleep that evening were too few, yet I awoke energized, confident, and ready to clickity-clack my way through the plans for the next day.

A little-known secret at writer’s conferences is that you can often get squeezed in to see more editors than you were originally scheduled to meet with if you stop by to inquire about cancellations. This is how I scored another agent meeting for that afternoon. I just love it when things go according to plan!

It was during the morning session that I began to suspect that something was amiss. I jotted these words on my outline, “Do not allow serving God to take precedence over knowing the God whom you serve.” Those words – they bugged me.
Do I do that?
No, of course not. I know Jesus! I’m close to Him. The writing and speaking I am called to do is for Him and because of Him. Jesus and I, we’re like this – I crossed my middle finger on top of my index finger and looked at my hand.
Aren’t we?

Just in case, I figured I better head to the prayer room. After all, I am fully aware of the risk of heading off into ministry on my own strength. Falling on your face tends to be the result of those efforts. I prayed, Lord, I want You more than I want to serve You. I want to know You, be close to You, be able to say that we are tight.

It was a good prayer to pray, to ensure that things were right between me and the Lord. I fully expected to pray that very good prayer and go about my plans for the day. That is the moment God decided to completely mess up my plans.

Immediately, I was aware of a hollowness in my heart and an insincerity in my prayer. If my prayer were true, why had I neglected my quiet time with the Lord for the past two weeks as I prepared my book proposal? I knew I was a fraud. The good thing was to say that I wanted Jesus more than anything. The right thing was to show it.

The empty void in my heart bubbled up into my throat. Tears overtook my eyes. My chest shook as sobs wracked violently from my body. I fell to my knees, planted my face on the seat of a chair, and let God mess with me.

I am not sure how long I knelt in worship and repentance. It was long enough for my feet to tingle with numbness and copious snot to run down my face. It was long enough for God to turn my heart into one that truly did desire Him more than anything I could do to serve Him.

A whisper danced across my soul, and my Jesus asked me the question that cinched the deal and messed with my plans – not just for the day, but for everything. Tyler, do you really want Me more than anything? Do you want Me more than you want to sit down with that agent this afternoon? Do you want Me more than you want a publishing deal, a speaking ministry, and fancy networking relationships?

I stood, wiped the tears and snot from my face, waited for the feeling to return to my legs, and strode purposefully from that prayer room to the table perched outside the agent’s door. I confirmed that my name was indeed written down at the two o’clock time slot. It was. And I heard the devil ask me, “Surely He did not say that you could not have this meeting. You know He wants you to do all that you can to get His message out there.” I smiled at the girl behind the table, thanked her, and walked away – convinced that God just wanted my willingness and that I didn’t really have to give up that appointment.

Three clickity-clacking steps later my feet stopped moving. Something burned inside me. I was so uncomfortable! Love for Jesus and desire for significance warred within me. The bubble crawled up my throat once again. I turned back, ashamed, and asked the sweet lady to cross my name off the list as tears streamed down my cheeks. She asked, ”Are you sure?” “Yes,” I choked out, “God told me to cancel it.” She smiled and nodded. I could see in her eyes that she understood; God must have messed up her plans a time or two as well.

I have no doubt that if God intends for my book to be published He is able to make that happen, regardless of how many editors and agents I meet with. Ditto that for speaking engagements, networking opportunities, and ministry growth. So I'm going to let Him take care of that stuff - that's His job. My job is just to love my Jesus more than anything else.

Thank-you, Lord, for loving me enough to mess up my plans.

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To see the verse the Lord gave me for my M & M these next two weeks, go here.

Maturity, does it equal boredom?

Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we become "mature" Christians? What changes? How do we get there? How did others get there?

A few things come to my mind when I think "mature" Christian:
- long walk with God
- enduring in faith through life's ups and downs
- in the Word every day
- praying for hours at a time
- faith that is calm (in contrast to the "fiery" and exuberant faith of a new believer)
- serene
- bored and boring (yes, I said it!).

There is a part of me that admires and aspires to be like the women I know who have walked with God for what seems like forever. But there is this tiny part of me that whispers, "Please Lord, don't let it be boring!"

Maybe you remember my prayers for the year of 2009? I prayed for God to unsettle me. I asked Him not to let me get too comfortable. He answered, and answered, and answered, and answered again!

This year, I began praying that the Lord would consecrate me (make me holy and set apart for His purposes). I didn't want to settle for a faith that was simply "good enough." But in the back of my mind I was also reminding Him that I didn't want to be bored (or boring).

For a short time, I let my heart drift away from His. I was bored AND boring. I had created my own little self-fulfilling prophecy (think that it will be lackluster and you will surely end up disinterested). But I was not, as I feared, uninspired because of maturity. I grew apathetic because I was slowly emptying of that which fills me - His Spirit. What little of Him I had inside of me was seeping out through my many cracks. As those cracks are pieced back together, and I feel the filling up happening again, things* are happening.

Guess what - deciding to be a "grown up" in the faith is far from humdrum! No, I sense that I am about to embark on an escapade of God-sized proportions!

I suspect that maturity is not tedious at all, but that it comes from maintaining a sense of peace, faith, and trust while riding life's ups and downs, over and over again. I am beginning to realize that the quest to become established and settled is probably one of the most adventurous journeys we can embark on!

No one is ever bored on a roller coaster! Some people - those familiar with its nausea-inducing motion - may appear a bit blase as they take their hundredth loop-de-loop, but we must be careful not to mistake their composure for apathy. If we were to hook them up to a biometrics machine, the heart rates of the experienced rider would be no slower than the shrieking 13-year-old boy's in the front row. Their composure is gained by holding fast, practicing lots, and the total faith (that comes with much experience) of knowing that they will not fall.

* things defined: life's ups and downs; stretching; growing; finding oneself in need of God's amazing provision; praying; seeking; obeying in spite of obstacles and doubt

In other words, not a single prayer said on our behalf would be wasted right now!

How to Repair a Cracked Vase

The fall was a time of some major highs and lows in our family.

Pat gets offered a promotion - high.
We need to move - low.
Asking God to provide and seeing it happen - high.
Settling into new everything - low.
There were, of course, many others, but you get the picture.

Through the entire roller-coaster ride, we leaned hard on God. It was a new thing in our marriage - to pray together - but we pushed through our discomfort and did it, daily. Regardless of my emotions, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit over every moment of every day.

We are settled into our new life and its routines. The kids seem to be comfortable at their new schools. We have decided to make our new church our "home" church. Along the way we've even had a few free moments to make some friends.

But there's an underlying sense of...something. Sadness? Emptiness? Unfulfilled-ness? (Yes, I do realize that's not a word!) There's this thing that's nagging at me. God feels far away. I know that He didn't take a step back from me, which means I'm the one that moved.

Last year (2009) I memorized 24 Scripture verses; this year, zilch. Last fall our family was a family of prayer - Pat and I prayed together, we prayed with the kids, we prayed with friends, we prayed over every single decision; this year, at least we still pray at mealtimes and bedtimes with the kids. Last year I committed to getting up at 5:30am for my quiet time with the Lord and I rarely missed a morning; this year I rise a little bit early on random days and try to squeeze in a few minutes. I used to be responsible for mentoring many other women in their walk with the Lord, and I took that calling seriously; without that level of accountability I have allowed myself to slack off.

Just as it is no surprise that I gained back all my lost weight when I decided to "take a break" from exercising and eating well, I shouldn't be surprised that taking a break from vital spiritual habits has placed distance between me and God.

So here I am, working to piece together the fragments of my faith. I am like a vase that developed a hairline crack, and as time wore on little shards of clay fell out here and there. Not broken, not destroyed, but fractured and in need of repair.

How to Repair a Cracked Vase:

Step one: Pick up the section of the vase that seems easiest to fit back into place. For me, this means returning to the basics of Scripture memory.

Step two: Be generous with the crazy glue and hold it there until it dries. I need to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work settling the Word of God in my heart and mind.

Repeat steps one and two until each segment and sliver of clay is picked up off the floor. A few of the larger chunks I can see are morning time, praise, and prayer. It's the smaller fragments, though, that will take great concentration to fit back into place. Things like a hunger for God's Word, peace in my soul, and sensing those little nudges from the Holy Spirit.

While the vase may never be restored to its original beauty, it will be whole again. The shadow of those cracked places will forever be a reminder of what caused the vase to crack and the hard work invested in its repair. And those cracks, they will serve to let the Light shine through a little bit more than it did before the fracture happened.

My Will or His?

What is God's will?

In decision-making time your greatest difficulty may not be choosing between good and bad but choosing between good and best. You may have several options that appear to be equally attractive. At a time like this, begin by saying with all your heart, "Lord, whatever I know to be Your will, I will do it. Regardless of the cost and regardless of the adjustment, I commit myself ahead of time to follow Your will. Lord, no matter what that will looks like, I will do it!"

What if God's will isn't convenient?

If you cannot say that [above] when you begin to seek God's will, you do not mean "Thy will be done" (Matt. 6:10 KJV). Instead, you mean "Thy will be done as long as it does not conflict with my will." Two words in a Christian's language cannot go together: "No, Lord." If you say no to God, He is not your Lord. If He really is your Lord, your answer must always be yes, Lord. in decision making, always begin at this point. Do not proceed until you can honestly say, "Whatever You want of me, Lord, I will do it..."

What if I cannot seem to discern His will?

...When God gets ready for you to take a new step or direction in His activity, it will always be in sequence with what He has already been doing in your life...

What if I just can't do what he's asking of me?

...Truth stands...to say, "Believe Me. I will never give you an order without releasing My power to enable it to happen. Trust Me and obey me, and it will happen."

~ all quotes from: Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God, study guide (pp. 123, Blackaby & King) ~

Things That Make You Go "Hmmmm"

Question posed to Grandma while we were away...

"Grandma, do I have to love satan?"

"Um, no sweetheart. Satan is evil and the Bible tells us that we should hate evil."

"But the Bible says I have to love my enemies."

"_______________________________."

Hunh.

This is not the end of the conversation (which I think was handled quite well - thanks Grandma!), nor are my quotes likely to be completely accurate. Sorry 'bout that. Nonetheless, I'd like you to fill in the blank with what your response would be. I need some material for future trick questions.