Building Your Ministry, part two - How to Love on Your Team

Click to read part one - What Your Team Really Needs from You.

In developing a new ministry or in building up a ministry that's already running, a team of committed volunteers (and/or staff) are needed to make things happen. Finding people to join your team may not be as difficult as you think (but that's for another post on another day); but keeping people committed to the team, the ministry, you (their leader), and of course to the work God is doing through the ministry - well that task, it takes hard work!

I hope that my story (in part one) convinced you that the key to keeping your team committed is to make them feel loved. But those of us who are married, we have surely learned some difficult lessons about how difficult it can be to make someone feel loved (even if we do truly love that person).

You see, loving someone is not about me having feelings of love towards that person. Rather, it is about me finding ways to show love to that person - ways that he or she understand and feel my love.

I believe there are three keys to making your team members feel loved. Today, we'll sit a while on the first point.

#1 - Invest Time:

Do you remember your best friend in high school? Chances are good that people often referred to you as "attached at the hip." You did everything and went everywhere together. There was little doubt in either of your minds that you loved one another. The same can be said of our children, spouses, adult friendships. Time spent together is time well spent.

I asked the Lord how I could help the women on my team feel loved, and He clearly told me to invest my time in them. When I asked how I could possibly invest personal time in each of 7 women, our creative God gave me idea after idea...

- I began to set aside one morning per week (with the exception of busy weeks) to invite one of the women from my team over for coffee and a visit. We would spend about 2 hours just chattin' it up. (Obviously, this only worked for those on my team who were at home like me. With those who worked, it would need to be an evening coffee. For me, that took a bit more juggling and we needed to plan it further in advance, but it was always worth the time spent.) --> time spent, 2 hours per week

- If I thought of a woman on my team, I would quickly stop and take a minute to pray for her. Then I would take one more minute to email her, just letting her know that she was in my thoughts and prayers. --> time spent, 2 minutes a couple times per week

- Normally, while doing housework I would find myself in need of a distraction to help get it done (isn't that always the case?). Most often I would call my best friend, my mom, or my hubby to chat while I worked. I decided to replace one of those phone calls each week with a call to someone on my team. I don't know that my "regulars" ever even noticed that I was calling one less time, or if they did I'm sure they were appreciative of having one less distraction! --> time spent, none (because it was already being spent)

- Do you ever get out for a girls' night? My wish is to do it once per month, but the reality is it happens when it happens. I began inviting someone from my team out with my girlfriends and I for girls' night. --> time spent, none

- I usually attended our weekly women's Bible study and our weekly women's coffee group, not only because I was the women's ministry leader, but because I enjoyed the growth and fellowship. While at those events, I made a point of seeking out the women who attended that were also on my team and spending some time visiting with them. Some days, we would sit together the whole time. --> time spent, none

You get the point... Overall, I only increased my "workload" by a mere 2 hours and 6 minutes (roughly) per week. And after the first few weeks -which felt slightly awkward at times - my weekly coffee date morphed into a vital part of my social life.

Another interesting thing happened - the girls out at girls' night grew in numbers, until there were more "ministry girls" than other girlfriends. And wouldn't you guess, many of those "regular" girlfriends got so excited about all that they were hearing that they joined us in leading women's ministry!

Before anyone comes at me with the argument that work is work and we shouldn't have to "make friends" with the people we work with, let me say two quick things. First, ministry is not just "work." Ministry is God's work, and it is also (very often) unpaid volunteer work. Doing ministry is completely different from being out in the work force. (Not that I necessarily think it should be. The working world could probably learn a thing or two from the ministry world.)

Second, if you take a quick journey through the Bible and look at any good leaders you will find that the people they "worked" with LOVED them - they were friends. A few examples for you include: Moses and Aaron (also brothers, but hey), Joshua and Caleb, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and His disciples, Paul and Barnabus (until they disagreed), Paul and Timothy. These ministry partners didn't simply work together - they lived, travelled, and did life together. They were more than mere co-workers; they were friends.

Key points #2 and #3 on How to Love on Your Team coming soon...

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Just a small word of explanation...

Throughout this series, you will hear me frequently use terminology such as "my team" and "my ministry." Please, do not misunderstand my heart based on semantics! There has never been any doubt in my mind that the women's ministry I had the privilege of being a part of belonged wholly to God. It was and is His ministry. Just as the team of women He brought together formed His team.

The use of the word "my" is to draw a clear word picture - that the ministry God called me to lead was born in my heart - just as "my" children were born of my body, though I know and acknowledge that they belong to the King of Kings and He has simply entrusted them to my care for a time. As a leader, there is an element of responsibility towards your ministry and your team. "My" does not denote ownership, but an entrustment.

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. ~Luke 12:48b (NLT)

Putting a Bad Day Behind Me

Yesterday was a bad day.

Our Bible study leader wasn't there, and I was disappointed. I have missed her over spring break. Our discussion was different (stilted) without her to guide us.

Malakai ran away (far and fast) in the church parking lot. He ran past two other mothers and they just watched him. For the life of me, I can't figure out why people don't stop him! I mean, it should be obvious that a two-year-old is not supposed to be running in the midst of moving motor vehicles!

My allergies are going crazy. My nose was (and still is) itchy and sneezy all day. Super annoying.

After school, the three girls apparently made a unanimous decision to fight as much as possible and as loudly as possible.

I let it all pile up and it got to me! I was crabby, short-tempered, scowly, yelling, impatient, and feeling just plain tired. I was heavy on the yelling and threats, but far too light on the actual discipline and training.

This morning, as I reflect on what went wrong, all I know is that I want today to be different. Better.

I cannot control the circumstances around me. Ultimately, I cannot control my children's behaviour (though I can train them to behave well). Fact is, I cannot control my own emotions and reactions very well.

But I am reminded that He can. What He needs from me is simply my cooperation. I need to turn away from my sin (anger, impatience, yelling, laziness) and turn toward Him.

Faced with frustrations that could "ruin" my day, I can either choose to continue walking ahead (right into my sinful reactions) or I can choose to stop and make a u-turn.

I want to live a consecrated life. A life that is distinctly set apart for His purposes. I am learning that it is much less about the things that I do, and so much more about the things that I turn away from.

Today, so that I might cultivate the life God desires, I will turn around. I will seek Him. And when faced with all the stuff of life, I can ask Him to show me what to do.

Not doing what I want to do is not an act of my will. It is an act of submission to His will.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ~Romans 7:18-20

Q & A - Reader's Edition

This is not your typical Q & A, where I answer questions you have asked me. Rather, I have a question for you - my beautiful, intelligent, strong, wise, and witty readers. Today, I have but one question for you...

What in the world can I do to STOP my (naughty) two-year old boy from running away? (His favourite sprint lane is the one in the middle of the largest parking lot of the largest store, with the highest volume of traffic.)

Seriously, help me! If you don't care to help me, perhaps you'll care to help him. Because if this continues... __________________ (fill in the blank with pretty much any phrase that comes to mind)

Review: Bibleman DVD

I recently discovered a book review site that got me excited. Hosted by Thomas Nelsen publishers, BookSneeze offers free books to bloggers who are willing to post reviews. Since I would be reading constantly anyway, and I get to choose the book I want to read/review (they don't choose for me), I figured I'd give it a try.

My first pick to review was a children's DVD. (Spring break was coming up, and being the planner that I am I know the value of stocking up on entertainment.)

Bibleman: Combating the Commandant of Confusion looks (based on the cover) similar to Power Rangers. My kids tend to enjoy PR (I don't get it, but whatever) so I thought to myself, "Why not get a DVD that's action-packed like PR but Bible-based?" I clearly missed the description "A Bibleman live adventure."

It was an adventure in boredom!

The DVD is a recording of a live presentation of Bibleman. As in, guys wearing action hero costumes and standing on the platform of a church, talking and acting for the kids in the pews. Perhaps they recorded a teaching session of VBS (Vacation Bible School)?

My three girls - ages 8, 6, 4 - walked away from the DVD after 15 minutes (and trust me, they would have gone sooner had I let them). My oldest boy - age 12 - sat a bit longer, but kept asking me, "Mom, when does it get better?"

If you're looking for some good DVD resources to entertain your kids, I suggest sticking to the tried and true found at your local Christian bookstore - Veggie Tales, Hermie and Friends, etc.

* Just a reminder that the Bibleman DVD was provided to me for free, for the purpose of review, via BookSneeze.

How Can a Day of Death be Called GOOD?

We are in love with life, with living. Live life to the full! Embrace every experience! Don't miss out!

We fear death, we avoid it, we mourn it.

But what if we have it all wrong?

Isn't living life to the full really just a smokescreen that we use to disguise our love for the things of this world? We invest all of our days in preparing for what is next - save our money for education, or a house, or retirement; buy things to use at set times (ie, a vacation home for summer); looking forward to our kids growing up, our marriages getting better, financial freedom... If this is life - always waiting for what is next - no wonder death terrifies us.

But what if dying is the secret to living?

The death of a dream makes room for bigger, better, God-sized dreams. The death of our finances leaves us wholly dependant on God's provision. The death of selfishness sets us free from our own wealth.

Selfishness = stockpiling things for what comes next. Eventually, we have so much that we are held captive by it. We become prisoners to our future plans. We think we are living, but we are really just the living dead.

The death of selfishness sets us free from our own wealth. The death of Christ sets us free from our sin.

Embrace death, not this life. Live for eternity, not tomorrow. Death is good. Dying, done God's way, makes room for new life.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. ~John 14:24-25

Who is My Neighbour?

I had a disturbing dream the other night...

We lived in a nice, little bungalow in a neighbourhood full of other nice, little bungalows. Our kids ran the 'hood, riding bikes up and down the street, shrieking in glee on their backyard trampoline. I didn't see my kids, but heard them. They must have been a bit older than they are now because I didn't have a sobbing two-year-old at the door begging to go out with the big kids. Maybe he was just napping. Who knows? Anyway...

Our next-door neighbours had a lot of kids, too. Four, maybe five. They wore dirty clothes, had unkempt hair, and never seemed to be supervised. I tried to get my kids to avoid playing with them, without actually forbidding it - because then I'd have to explain it, and my aversion wasn't something I could explain rationally. (My inner judgemental self apparently can't be kept at bay in dreams.)

We had just repaved our driveway and the cement was not fully dried (or is it cured?) yet. The neighbours turned on their lawn sprinkler and it was spraying over onto my fresh concrete. So I headed over to knock on the door and ask them to move it.

The door was opened by a woman that I somehow knew was not the mother. Behind her were two other women. Kids were playing and watching TV in the background. The house smelled faintly of dirt and urine. The women looked out of place, all put together with nice clothes, hair, and make-up in such a dirty house.

I don't remember how the conversation began - I don't think I ever asked about the sprinkler - but somehow we ended up with these women telling me that the woman who lived there was a single mother to these many children. They stopped over, found her not there and the children alone, and decided to stay and babysit. The children were very hungry, but the women could not find a single item of food in all the cupboards or the refrigerator. (It did occur to me, when I awoke, to wonder why none of these three well-dressed women headed out to the store for some food.)

All I can remember is thinking that I needed to find a way to feed these kids! My whole perspective on the family changed and my heart was filled with love for those dirty, little children and their absentee mother.

I woke up, recalling every detail of the dream. (It's interesting to note, here, that I have not had a dream that I can remember in several years.) Pondering the meaning of the dream, I asked God a few questions:

Is there someone in my life that I need to help?

Is it an actual neighbour on my new street?

Am I specifically supposed to be doing something to help a single mother (or more than one)?

Lord, who is my neighbour?!

The moment the question formed in my mind, I knew I had heard someone else ask the very same question...

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

~ Luke 10:25-37

I was reminded of my dream and inspired to share it after reading this post.

Now, I just need to figure out what to do, when to do it, and for whom.

Who is your neighbour? Does anyone come to mind that God is nudging you about?

Building Your Ministry, part one - What Your Team Really Needs from You

Through starting and leading a women's ministry for six years, in a church with a congregation of nearly 2000, I have had a few interesting experiences! Some fantastic, amazing, joyful; others bitterly painful. All of them were used by the Lord to grow me as His daughter and servant and to teach me how to lead His way. Lately, He has placed a burden and a passion on my heart to share the lessons I've learned. My prayer is that these lessons will be helpful to other women in ministry - that you might avoid the mistakes I made as well as use anything I did that worked well. I will share the bits and pieces with you as they come to me, in a multi-part blogging series (the number of parts to be determined by how much I find to say) that will appear in random intervals (whenever I feel inspired to say something). How's that for ambiguous?! ;) Thanks for joining me.
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In my early years of leading women's ministry, I had a problem keeping leaders on my team. Attending our team meetings was not a priority on most of their "to do" lists. Being available to serve at ministry events was an "optional" activity, it seemed, for everyone but a few hard core volunteers. Women from the team quit altogether at the drop of a hat - no notice, no explanation.

I wondered, "What the heck can I do to make these women care about this ministry as much as I do?" I believed that the core problem had to do with them. For reasons beyond my understanding, they were just not sold out on impacting women for Jesus. At least, not sold out enough to actually stick with it for the long haul.

There was one woman who left the team early on who always seemed to have a bone to pick with me. I was heartbroken by this, because prior to being in ministry together she was my friend. One day, I gathered up the courage to ask her what happened.

She said, "Tyler, you are really good at being organized, at planning, and at taking care of the details. But I'm not sure you're the right person to be the leader of women's ministry."

I thought to myself, "Of course you'd say that! You have never liked the fact that I am in this role. You have never respected me as a leader. You have a bone to pick with me!"

She continued, "Even though you're good at those things, you're missing an important ingredient. You don't care. You don't have the heart. You don't love us as people. All you are concerned about is that everyone gives as much as you do. When we have life circumstances that get in the way, you only care about how that affects the ministry. You simply don't care about us and our lives."

The conversation continued for nearly an hour, with many tears on both our parts. It was a devastatingly painful conversation. I had always believed that one of my gifts was empathy, yet she was telling me that I was terrible at it. I believed that God had placed a loud and clear call on my life to minister to women, yet she said I didn't have what it takes to be a leader.

I wept and prayed on and off for five days, begging God to heal my broken heart (read: to show me how wrong she was). But the pain in my heart did not ease. On the sixth day I reluctantly changed my prayers and began asking God to weed through her words for me - to show me what words I should ignore, but more importantly to reveal to me the parts of what she said that were true.

Almost immediately, I sensed His answer in my heart. He asked me, "Daughter, have you cared for these women whom I have placed in your charge and under your leadership?" I knew that the answer was no. But I didn't know exactly how to care for them better. Thus began my journey in learning to truly love the women on my team - for who they were instead of for what they did for the ministry. Though Satan intended the cruel words of a hurting woman to beat me down and discourage me, God could use them to grow and mould me.

Lesson #1 - Women need to feel loved. This is not only true in marriage, but in work and ministry as well. If you want to build a team that sticks together for the long haul, sold out for your (God's) vision, you must learn to love them in a way they understand.

Lesson #2 - All advice that is given to you - even that which is laced with vindictive intent - should be sifted by God. He will use every experience (especially the painful ones) to weed out the junk in our lives that prevents us from leading with excellence.

His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire. ~Matthew 3:12

Building Your Ministry, part two - How to Love on Your Team - coming soon.

How Many Followers Do You Have?

In this internet world, we are quickly growing obsessed with the number of followers, friends, and fans that we have.

We have lost sight of what it really means to follow someone.

I'm sure you will find Ann's thoughts on what it means to follow Christ as profound as I did. And convicting. And inspiring. And just downright true.

Be a Truth Seeker

In our world, there are so many versions of the truth. We hear that "what is true for one person may not be true for another." We are always looking for the truth, seeking what is real, but the world tosses so many easy substitutes our way.

Because of the way God created us, one thing we instinctively seek out is Him - the sovereign God who holds our lives in His hands. The world, though, says that such a God is too hard to find, so it offers us substitute gods (I call them easy, feel-good gods). I'm sure you've heard of them - the god within you (or, you are god), the god in everything around us...

These pretend gods are so appealing to us, because in our hearts (in mine, at least) we are lazy. And these gods are palatable. These gods don't require us to give over our lives in love; these gods don't require us to change our behaviours and attitudes; these gods don't require us to draw a line in the sand ethically. Unfortunately, these gods are impotent. The "god self" has no power to rescue us, to change us, to transform us.

There is one true God, one Sovereign Ruler, one Creator, on Saviour. Truth can only be found in Him. He binds up the broken-hearted, He heals the sick, He delivers the addicted, He convicts the wicked, He has mercy on the weak. He fills our hearts with joy and puts songs of praise on our lips. This power can only be found in Christ. And Christ can only be found in the Bible.

If you are searching for what is true and real, you will find a lot of books and movies out there. Many of them sound close enough to what the Bible says that we easily accept them. Many of them sound just that little bit "easier" than what the Bible says, so we embrace them. Many of them offer promises of freedom/change/contentment from whatever plagues us by following the prescribed steps contained within their pages. But you will not find truth there, you will not find freedom.

If you want a self-help book to quit yelling (I know I do), there is only One Book that offers the secret to really changing. If you want to quit smoking in ten days, the Bible is the Only Book that promises (and means it) real power to change. If you want to find a way to get over the pain and loss of a divorce, the path to truly healing those hurts and finding peace and joy is offered (with an absolute guarantee) in the pages of The Good Book. Any other book you read, podcast you listen to, or movie you watch - unless it directs you back to the pages of the Bible - is offering a cheap alternative that will only bring temporary freedom.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparable great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms.
~Ephesians 1:18-20

No cheap alternatives here. No simple fixes. No feel-good solutions. But for those of us who believe, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. Real, true freedom from the real (and only) truth source.

* This is a re-post from the archives.

Let it Come Through Us

Hearing this song today reminded me of the great need in Haiti and how we can help.

As time passes, I pray that the people of Haiti will not be forgotten, but will continue to experience an outpouring of love and generosity from those of us who do not need to beg for our daily bread. May we not take our daily bread for granted...



KINGDOM COMING
LYRICS
2008 Copyright Shaun Groves (ASCAP)

O, God, what do we see and hear?
Your kingdom coming
O, God, what do we see and fear?
Your kingdom coming
Let it come to us
Let it come through us

CHORUS:
‘Til the sword is spared
And the bread is shared
And the dying’s done
Let your kingdom come
‘Til the rich ones give
And the poor ones live
‘Til the weak are strong
Let your kingdom come

O, God, what do we pray down here?
Your kingdom coming
Let it come to us
Let it come through us

REPEAT CHORUS

Mercy come, justice come
Healing come, peace, Lord, come
Mercy come, justice come
Your will be done through us on earth
O, God, what do we need down here
Your kingdom coming

Let it come
O, let it come

REPEAT CHORUS

Shaun Groves' song, "Kingdom Coming" and others are available for free download on his website. You don't want to miss the story of why he now speaks and sings for FREE...

Really Random Facts

I was over at the LPM Blog this morning, and we were asked to participate in a little fun - post 10 tidbits about ourselves. Of course I did it, because I am a "joiner." After I commented, listing the same 10 things about me I think of whenever one of those posts comes up, I read through a few of the comments. Man, people are so much more creative than I am! Seriously funny things in there. I found myself reading a number of them and saying, "Me, too! Why didn't I think to put that down?" So I decided to steal all the good ones that apply to me and share them with you (because you all really want to know ridiculous, random things about me, right?) In addition to being a "joiner," I am apparently an idea thief. ;)

* I have an odd affinity for shopping for school and office supplies. (In fact, it's the only kind of shopping I enjoy.)
* I am completely directionally impaired. Sadly, it was only a few years ago that I learned the sun rose in the East.
* Using multi-coloured pens (or in the computer age, colour-coded labels) on my calendar makes me very happy.
* I spent most of my teenage years pumping gas.
* At the young age of 32, I have just discovered what eyeliner can do for me!
* At the slightly younger age of 31, I finally quit biting my nails to the quick. I do, however, continue to gnaw away at the cuticles.
* Do not read over my shoulder. Ever. Especially if I'm writing. Actually, if I'm writing you are safest to back out of the room and go far, far away. You may not ever read anything that is in progress!
* Toilet paper belongs OVER the roll. If I use your washroom, you will discover that I have corrected the roll for you.
* I still periodically have nightmares starring the alien from "Signs."
* I used to bite my toenails. The only thing stopping me now is Pat's disgust and my children's big mouths.
* I love making "To Do" lists. I usually add tasks to my list that I have already completed that day, just so I can cross something off right away.
* It is a bad idea to talk to me in the early morning before I've had coffee. I just can't help myself from glaring at you.
* As a child (an only child until the age of 12), I would entertain myself by pretending I was the narrator/star of a show on Discovery. I especially enjoyed narrating my cooking show while in the bathtub.
* If you touch my feet - even accidentally - I will kick you. I'm sorry; it's as instinctive as the sucking reflex in babies.
* The one thing I have always wanted to buy is a label maker.
* I never make my bed.
* I do NOT like new foods. Until my teenage years, I had never ordered anything but a grilled cheese and fries (with gravy on the side) from a restaurant.
* When I finish reading a good fiction novel, I will begin to panic slightly if there is not another book in my house.
* Though I have a degree in psychology, when asked about post-secondary education I almost always advise against a 4-year program.
* I cannot wear yellow or green or anything with those undertones. They make me look deathly ill.
* I cannot wear purple (or use it to decorate my house) simply because I hate it that much!
* In my first year of driving I hit a dog, a deer, and another vehicle. I also got 2 speeding tickets.
* Since then, I have backed into a concrete barrier and a fence. I have also gotten many more speeding tickets (thanks to the modern-day miracle of photo radar).

There you have it - 23 things about me that you have not likely ever found on this blog before. All true facts. As Amanda Moore has been known to say, "You are dumber now!" You're welcome.

If you can't resist finding out more useless information about yours truly, you will locate said facts here, here, and here.

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Oh, and to answer the question in this post, Deb got it right! The thing that 5 out of 6 Canadians under the age of 18 have never used is....POSTAGE STAMPS! Go over and visit Deb's brand, spankin' new blog - Invisigirl - and cheer her on in this new adventure. 'Kay?

Here's the funny thing: The prize I had in mind was a book that I accidentally ordered and am too lazy to return. Given the fact that Deb accidentally ordered the same wrong book (on my advice), I am guessing she won't want a second copy. Deb, in lieu of that really great prize, you are the lucky winner of a visit from me and five raucous children in just two days! ;)

Stirring up the Embers

There has been a crazy dream stirring up in my heart. The first little spark of that dream appeared several years ago - a hint of things to come. Recently, I have sensed God blowing on the embers and fanning the flame.

Like I said, it's a wild and crazy dream...

You already know about the writing. It's a passion of mine. Writing what I see, feel, hear, and learn makes it real. If it's not written down, chances are it will slip away into the recesses of my mind. I have many stories - a lot of life lived for such a young thang (teehee) - but one particular account has been burning to be told, the anger story (and how God is writing the ending). Once it is permanently etched in the hard drive of my computer, though, I have no doubt that God will blow His wind on other stories. Tales of starting out a young marriage in a faith dichotomy, a young girl looking for love in all the wrong places who eventually finds what she was looking for in the only One who can provide it, walking through post-partum depression and surviving, an ill-equipped and inexperienced "baby" Christian starting a women's ministry that somehow (in spite of her and all because of Him) thrives... There are volumes just waiting to be poured out!

Chronicling God's work on paper (or hard drive), however, is not the only way to get a message out there. Though I resisted, I have long sensed God pulling me to share the message not only through my fingertips, but with my mouth. It is a terrifying prospect, accompanied by many conflicting emotions. Fear of failure. Fear of letting God down. Fear of fumbling so much that the listener can only focus on my ineptitude and doesn't see God's greatness. Fear of being good at it. Fear of growing prideful. Fear of public scrutiny and harsh judgement. Fear of letting all my baggage lay on the ground in front of others. F-E-A-R.

I can let fear win, or - with Christ's strength - I can conquer it. Here are some things that have inspired me to go with the latter:
* When Moses refused God's call and asked Him to send someone else, "The LORD's anger burned against Moses." (Exodus 4:14) I would rather not be the one to incite God's wrath.
* I was told that, when God calls us to "minister to the masses," we have a responsibility to pursue our calling and fine-tune our gifts/talents/abilities so that we can effectively reach a great number of people. (Thanks, Shannon Ethridge.)
* A friend, with similar passions and fears, is walking alongside me. (Having a friend on the journey always makes it easier, doesn't it?)
* A verse was given to me at the time of my greatest doubt. Proverbs 1:21, "At the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech..."
* A couple other friends are cheering me on: this one, this one, this one, and most importantly - this one.

One tentative step at a time, I will move forward, laying down the kindling, striking the match, then stepping back to let the wind of God to fan the flame.

-----------------------------
On her blog, Lysa TerKeurst (of Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina) is giving away a scholarship for someone to attend the She Speaks conference (scholarship money from Cecil Murphy). She Speaks offers amazing teaching, practice, and peer critique opportunities for speakers, writers, and ministry leaders. On a little side note - if you have those passions in your heart and would like to develop your gifts, you absolutely MUST check it out!

I don't know if God has plans for me to attend that conference this year, but I do know that it cannot be done on my own strength (or finances - my priority for this year is to get my hubby back to Haiti, where his heart was left last fall). So I'm adding this post to the long list of women who would love to attend She Speaks, and leaving it in His hands. Trusting, too, that if He provides the scholarship He will also (somehow) provide the flight. And if not, resting assured that this step is not His next step for me.

Do You Know?

Question on the radio today...

Five out of six Canadians under the age of 18 have never used ____________.

Have fun guessing! I'll let you know the correct answer tomorrow. If you guess correctly, I'm sure I'll have to send you a prize of some sort. ;)

Saturday Morning Visit - 03/20/10

Worshipping with 100+ sisters in Christ while on a weekend retreat.

9:20am

Alberta, Canada

To see an ordinary Saturday morning in Louisiana, go here.

True Confessions

The Tooth Fairy in this house is likely the most negligent TF you've ever heard of.

Megan has now lost 4 teeth.

The first one was easy to remember, because TF put a post-it note on the fridge to help remind her to exchange tooth for money. The second was special because the doctor pulled it out under anaesthetic just before removing her tonsils and adenoids. (TF has a special place in her heart for these kinds of situations and pays double for those teeth.)

Tooth #3, which was lost at school on Monday, was a little trickier. Now, before we get too down on TF, she did have the foresight to stop at the store and get a loonie (that's a Canadian $1 coin, for my US friends) that day. But that loonie was left, forgotten in TF's wallet until 3am, at which time a groggy Megan woke up and came to inform said TF her Mother that TF had not yet come to do the exchange. The issue was dealt with the moment Meg fell back asleep.

Wednesday, while at school, Meg yanked out tooth #4. TF, once again, wisely ensured that she had a loonie on hand.

This post was written on Thursday morning at 6:55am. It was inspired by two big, brown, tear-filled eyes and a forlorn little girl's early-morning voice squeaking out, "The Tooth Fairy didn't come. She forgot about me!"

But before you feel too bad for her (or too judgemental about TF's slacking off around this house), you can know that she was reassured by these words, "Oh dear! You know, this isn't the first time that the Tooth Fairy has fallen asleep on the job. Just ask Braeden - I think the Tooth Fairy fell asleep and forgot about his lost teeth two or three times! But you know what she did? When she woke up in the morning and realized her terrible mistake, the Tooth Fairy always came while Braeden was at school. And with his money she would leave him a not of apology. So go make sure your tooth is still where it should be, because when that Tooth Fairy wakes up - is she ever going to feel foolish!"

Meg smiled, giggled a bit, and asked her mother to make sure that NO ONE enters her room while she's at school today.

Phew. Another bullet dodged. This double-identity stuff can get pretty hard core!

The Writing on the Wall Headstone

Since this is the post that seems to be found on people's google searches over and over again, I decided it was time to revisit it - with a couple revisions. (Interesting how many people search "caption for life" on a regular basis.)

A good name is more desirable than great riches;
to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.
~Proverbs 22:1

Have you ever been in a course where everyone is asked to participate in one of those "life application" activities that involves capturing the essence of your character - who you are and how you lived your life - in short captions? Basically, it's a slightly morbid exercise in selecting the phrase that you would like to see embossed on your own gravestone. Then, of course, the instructor usually makes everyone read it for the rest of the class...

I recently told my husband that if we were to develop a family mission statement I would like it to include the phrase "radically obedient." Because obeying the Lord as soon as He speaks, without question, even when it seems insane (like Noah or Abraham), is a trait that I want to characterize our family's faith journey. That is how I would like to be remembered.

After much contemplation, I've decided that I would like my gravestone to say:

God led, she followed.

Except that I probably won't be the one who actually gets to decide what is written at the head of my burial site. No one says we can't offer suggestions in advance, though! ;)

What would you like your stone to read?


For inspiring this post, I'd like to thank Linda Ellis for her poem, "The Dash."

Big Guy

My first baby is twelve today. Hard to imagine that I have a pre-teen when I feel barely older than 20 myself! Happy birthday, Braeden!

Here are some signs that you - my firstborn - are growing up:

* I frequently find you leaning forward, staring at your reflection in the mirror above the bathroom counter. When I ask what in the world you are doing, your reply is always, "I'm looking to see if I have hair on my face yet. Right here, Mom (pointing above your upper lip), do you see it?"

* Family outings, while still enjoyable once you're there, no longer hold much appeal for you. It takes a great deal more effort than I'd like to get you to come along. I am just thankful that you still seem to have a good time when we arrive!

* Your love for video games and all other things electronic surpasses your love for your dog. Poor Daisy!

* I notice your shoulders broadening and your waist getting thicker with each new clothing purchase. Those ribs of yours don't stick out at all anymore!

* Every now and then, you seem to actually care if your hair is messy!

* You are a fierce protector of your younger siblings, and there have been a few times recently where I've had to remind you which one of us is the parent of those 4 little monkeys.

Son, I am proud of you! You truly are growing up, and if I'm completely honest, I have hardly a glimmer of sadness about it. I enjoy seeing you emulate your Dad in many things. I love to watch you lead your sisters with pride and confidence. And I especially love the fact that - even though you are "almost a teenager" (your words), you still gladly hugged me and said, "I love you, Mom!" when I dropped cupcakes at your school today. ;)

I almost forgot the #1 sign that you're growing up - you almost never let me take your picture anymore!

NOT Me First?

Today's society has a "me first" mentality. Every time I have the television on, Loreal reminds me that "I'm worth it!" We live in a day and age where the woman who has NOT had a professional massage or pedicure is an anomaly (no judgement here, I happen to love both of those services and a couple others). Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with messages (and just a general mindset) of "me, me, me, me." I deserve to be happy!

However, the Bible's message speaks in drastic contrast to the message of society...

To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. ~Luke 6:29-30 Msg

When I see some jerk one who has treated me badly getting their due, should I be happy with their suffering or if [my] enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink? (Romans 12:20a)

How about if I have one of those friends that we all call a "taker?" You know the relationship - one friend is always making the phone calls, arranging time together, helping the other, nursing the other through crises; the other friend never calls unless s/he needs something, can't be bothered to spend time together unless it suits him/her, isn't available for the first friend's times of crisis... The world would tell me to give up, get rid of that friend, move on and find someone who will make the relationship mutually beneficial. The Bible tells me to give to everyone who asks of [me], and if anyone takes what belongs to me (or what I think I deserve) do not demand it back. (Luke 6:30)

When someone steals from me, should I hire a good lawyer and sue or if someone takes [my] cloak, do not stop him from taking [my] tunic? (Luke 6:29b)

If my husband has hurt me, should I, in turn, find a way to hurt him back? Or maybe just give him the silent treatment for a while? Or if someone strikes me [on] the right cheek (figuratively, of course), turn to him the other also? (Matthew 5:39)

It is totally confusing! But the Bible, in contrast to the general population of the rest of the world, seems to be telling us to put other people (even our enemies and those who have hurt us repeatedly) before ourselves. Over and over again, we find Jesus quoted instructing His followers to give up their own rights - to sacrifice. I don't know about you, but I am not particularly fond of personal sacrifice.

It was pointed out to me recently that the root word of sacrifice is sacred (thanks to Jill Savage, Real Moms Real Jesus). Being a word girl, I pulled out my thesaurus to help me understand what sacred really means: holy, blessed, revered, sanctified, consecrated. I realized that sacrificing does not simply mean "doing the right thing" out of obedience to Jesus. To sacrifice is to make myself holy. (Not to be mistaken for holier than thou!) Sacrificing by not doing what we really want to do, by putting others before ourselves, by forgiving even when we haven't been asked (and even when the person is not repentant) is more than just obedience to the Word of God - it is an act that will set me apart from this unholy world and make me sanctified...consecrated.

Personal sacrifice is more than a "What Would Jesus Do" mentality. Rather, it is a way of thinking that says, "I want to be made holy, and I am willing to put myself aside in pursuit of this holiness." Sacrifice cries out, "Purify me, Lord Jesus! Wash me clean of all my selfishness to the point that all I care about is being a beautiful representation of who You are!"

Instead of always telling my kids, "Just a minute" when they ask (the 100th time) for juice or a snack, I can sacrifice my own agenda and whatever I'm doing to immediately tend to their needs. (Maybe not always, but more often than I do.) Rather than be annoyed that someone didn't put the garbage out like he was supposed to, and make sure I let him know that he forgot, I can simply choose to take care of that task - even if it means sacrificing a few minutes of my time. When I see that girl who was mean to me for years and years, instead of stewing and brewing about her, I can sacrifice my pride and offer her a friendly greeting. I can even go so far as to sacrifice my thoughts and dedicate some precious prayers to her and her family.

Sacrifice won't be easy or comfortable. It pretty much flies in the face of societal norms. Some people may call us doormats or losers. But sacrifice will bring about a sacredness to our lives. Personal sacrifice will consecrate us for His purposes. For today, I will choose the sacred.

What about you? Is there an area in your life that you feel called to an act of sacrifice?

This post has been linked up to Rachel Olsen's devotional carnival.

Saturday Morning Visit - 03/13/10

7:55am, Alberta, Canada

My heart is happy to see the snow melting! Check out the progress from last week. (Apparently, our hilly little back yard gets a fair bit more sun than the neighbour's.)

Head on over to see Saturday morning in Louisiana. Feel free to join in with images from your own Saturday morning - wherever you are - and leave a link to your SMV post in the comments. :)

Is it Politically INcorrect to Treat My Kids Like Dogs?

As I begin to seriously consider diving back in to the adventure of potty training, I am reminded of some of the best parenting advice I ever stumbled upon... (Taken from "Dogs for Dummies.")

Here are the top 5:

#1 - Resolve that you must train your dog child, and that training is not a one-shot deal, but an intrinsic and ongoing part of the promise you make to your dog child when you bring her into your life.

#2 - Never let your puppy toddler do anything you wouldn't want a grown dog teenager to do.

#3 - Remember that preventing bad habits is easier than fixing them later.

#4 - If you want your puppy kid to learn, you need to be consistent about what's acceptable behavior and what's not. Follow through with the ground rules, every time. No letting things slide because you're tired [or] because he's cute.

#5 - If your puppy two-year old has been running around for a long time and just seems bratty, he may be tired. If that's the case, put him down for a nap in his crate crib. Ignore his fussing. Chances are he'll be asleep in a few minutes.

Good stuff, right?

In short form, here is the puppy housetraining method:
- Use a crate/cage/kennel.
- Puppy stays in kennel all the time, unless under your direct supervision.
- Bring puppy out frequently to visit the bathroom zone, to drink, to be played with, and to bathroom again.
- Lock puppy in crate.
- Feed and water puppy on a strict schedule so that you can predict when it needs to "go."
- Praise with exuberance when puppy does what you want and where you want.
- As time goes on (a couple weeks, at least), your puppy will begin to tell you when it needs to go outside, and you can gradually lessen the amount of crate time and supervision.
- If puppy regresses, go back to the basics.

So, do you think I can move Daisy out of her crate for a couple weeks and move Kai in (with his potty, of course)??? ;)

Oh, How the Times Have Changed

Long, long ago in a land far, far away...

I had a little webspace called "Bebo." It was an interesting combination of personal profile information and status updates (akin to facebook) and a blog (you know, like here). I believe that My Space existed at this time, but fb was a relatively new phenomenon.

Here is what I posted on my Bebo blog on November 7, 2007:

Facebook?????

Okay, I object! We already have one fantastic place to post all our info and blog - do we really need another? I don't do well with change, girls, and I'm also very loyal. The bebo folks have worked hard to develop this site and I don't want to turn my back on them (lol). All these facebook invites are stressing me out - is everyone abandoning bebo? Boohooo......

P.S. I still haven't totally got the bebo technology down - remind me how to invite friends (I tried, but it will only let me choose friends from my hotmail account - how do I invite friends from my contacts in outlook?)?

Three short years later, and I have 200+ "friends" and am taking a much needed break from fb for Lent due to my continual wasting of time there.

I guess it just goes to show - the new, shiny technology always wins out (no matter how loyal we claim to be). In three years you'll probably find me sitting with a (ahem, cough, sputter) Mac. *shaking head vigorously *

A Blazing Offering

I awoke to these words on my radio this morning...

...Let my whole life be
a blazing offering,
a light that shouts and sings
the greatness of our King!

Glory to God,
glory to God,
glory to God,
forever.

Take my life and let it be
all for You and for Your glory.
Take my life and let it be Yours...
(by Fee)

I was struck by the war that rages in soul every day.

My heart longs for every part of my life to belong to God and to be for His glory. I offer Him the junk in my life that He has redeemed, and I freely share what God has done for me and in me. Even as I sit in the midst of life's trials and turmoil, I know and expect that God will use the situation to bring glory to His name. (More often than not, it's this knowledge that brings me through to the other side.)

But when there are good times, times of relative peace, it can be so easy for me to forget who gets the glory. If life is steady and stable for long enough, my prideful heart begins to believe that I am self-made woman. I give thanks to God a little less, and think of "how well I'm doing" a little more.

I have struggled with depression off and on for years. If I track it in my life, I can see evidence easily as far back as fifth grade (that's about age 10 or 11). At it's worst - as it was for the year after Megan (almost 7) was born - I have been nearly incapable of functioning without medication. At it's best, the depression is manifested in my life as angry outbursts, irritability, short-temperedness, and hyper-emotionalism (essentially, an unending case of really bad PMS).

As I walked through the fog of post-partum depression almost seven years ago, I continually promised God that when He brought me out of the darkness I would not forget who rescued me. In seventh grade, as I lay on the floor convulsing, my body filled with a mixture of drugs from over 80 pills of unknown origin, I made that same promise. For the most part, I believe I have kept my word. If not for the love poured out on me by God the Father, the pursuit (of me and my life) by Jesus Christ, and the healing ministering of the Holy Spirit I have no doubt that I would still be in the pit.

Lately, though, I have been doing well. I began a low dose of medication shortly before we moved, as I am well aware that life change is one of the main triggers of depression. Even as I wrote those words, I felt a bit like patting myself on the back. Good job, Tyler. You're doing so well! And what foresight you had to prevent another bout of depression before it could get a grip on you. Way to go! All that hot air in my head starts crowding out the still, small voice that reminds me Who my Deliverer is...

If I do not learn to give God all the glory, even in the good times, I have little doubt that they will be short-lived. Not so much because pride deserves to be humbled (though I believe that it does). More so that God can keep me close to Him, loving Him, relying on Him, and giving Him glory and praise. So before the enemy fools me with all this baloney about "how well I'm doing," I will put myself back in my place - on my knees, looking up to the only One responsible for life's good times.

I thank You, Lord, for whispering to my heart and reminding me that a move could trip off depression in me. I praise You, Father, for the miracle of modern medicine - for doctors who care and medications to treat so many of our illnesses. I give You - and only You - Christ Jesus, the credit for this blessed state of peace in my life. Lord God, You heard my prayer (for just one good friend in this new home) and answered! Thank-you is so much less than You deserve, but I humbly offer it anyway. May my whole life be a blazing offering, all for You and for Your glory. Glory to God! Glory to God! Glory to God forever!

Will everyone think I'm weird if I change my name?

A Word from God, via Beth Moore.

When we're in a difficult and/or stressful situation, we need to be like Daniel...

Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. ~Daniel 6:10b (emphasis mine)

No matter what you are facing, God CAN deliver you! Just as He brought Daniel safely out of the fiery furnace and the den of lions, He can deliver us out of our trials. None of us has encountered a situation which God is unable to change. You (or I) do not have the one and only situation that He cannot change!

Struggling in a marriage that has been a mess for thirty years? Dealing with a child that has chosen the wrong path? Finances in turmoil?

Stop worrying about how, when, or whether God will change your mess. Instead, remind Him (and yourself) of all the times He HAS ALREADY brought you through and praise Him! Build your faith and keep believing Him for your deliverance.

Our faith to believe that God can deliver us is strengthened by giving Him thanks and praise. He has already delivered us from many circumstances and trials. We need to thank Him - listing as many of those struggles as we can think of - and our worry will be replaced by faith.

I want to be a Daniel! Don't you?

Natter, Natter, Natter

Does your husband have little habits that make you crazy? Small things that, when added up, grate on your nerves? Things like leaving his dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is RIGHT BESIDE the sink... Or squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle... Have you tried asking him, telling him, begging him, and nagging him a million different ways, to no avail?

For women - especially those of us who show our love by doing acts of service - a bunch of little thoughtless things can add up to a big blow-out. After all, we've have asked them to change their habits before, and by continuing to do that thing they are obviously communicating to us that they really doesn't care about what's important to us. Right?

If you've read this blog a while, you know that I am not about to go on a big man-bashing trip here. (So sorry if I got anyone's hopes up.) All of the above was said just a little tongue-in-cheek.

One of the things I've discovered about my husband (and it's probably true of yours, too) is that he simply doesn't hear nagging. It's not that he's ignoring me, exactly. It's more like his brain hears a certain tone of voice and certain words that he's heard before, and the brain just shuts down. No matter how long I nattered and nagged, those annoying little habits did not seem to change! (Ahem - the laundry continued to land randomly on the floor and not in the dirty clothes hamper - cough, cough.)

Eventually, and quite by accident, I stumbled across the secret to getting through to him.

First, I had to work out my own "issues" of not being heard, and choose to believe that he was not intentionally trying to irritate me. I needed to decide that, no matter what my emotions were trying to tell me, I would believe that Pat had only good will and good intentions toward me (and any actions that didn't fit with his good will were accidental).

Once I got over myself, I would often find myself chuckling and shaking my head as I gathered up the laundry strewn about our bedroom floor. It was kinda funny, when I wasn't feeling defensive about it. It occurred to me that maybe he would find it funny, too. So the next morning, rather than nag yet again, I tried humour.

I very solemnly approached my man and said, "Sweetheart. I owe you an apology." He looked at me with a mixture of question and shock in his eyes (apparently hearing me apologize was not a frequent occurrence). I continued, "I have recently realized how very selfish I am. You see, I just like to have things my way all the time. And I am continually putting that darn laundry hamper at least three feet away from where you really want to put your dirty laundry." By the end of it, I was giggling (I've never been able to deliver a punch line straight-faced). Pat laughed, too.

You know, now that I think of it, I haven't had to pick up his dirty laundry off the floor even once since then.

This post was written as a contribution to Marriage Monday.

Saturday Morning Visit - 03/06/10

7:35am in Alberta, Canada

Dirty, half-melted snow. We're holding onto hope that the melt continues, but being realistic enough to keep in mind that there will be another dump of the white stuff before March's end. (And yes, we can see into our neighbour's house. Either the house is vacant or the new neighbours are hiding out after hearing the noise brought on by five kids and a dog.)

To see what Saturday morning looks like in Louisiana, go visit 40 Shades of Pink.

Does Passion Equal Pride?

Periodically, I will skim through the archives of my blog so I can evaluate whether I've been growing as a writer. Today, I found this post (below), which served to remind me of a truth I have been in need of.
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Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ~Philippians 2:3

How do I know that I am moving ahead in the right direction? Am I following the plans God has for me? What if I heard things wrong?

We all ask ourselves (and others) these questions at times. We feel that God has given us a vision, a dream for the future. But then we wonder and doubt and second-guess. Perhaps we are actually allowing our dreams to be guided by our own desires.

Paul gives us a foolproof "check stop" for us to assess our motivations with in Philippians 2.

Imagine for a moment the fulfillment of the dream in your heart - maybe you envision being an author, a mother, a missionary - let the entirety of that dream take over your imagination. Now, where are you? How do you feel? What are others around you doing?

Are you at the front of the crowd, admired and praised by all? Do you feel like a super-hero? If so, chances are that what's on your heart is not where God is calling you to go.

We are commanded to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. These are tough words. No one wants to admit to selfishness. But pride is one of the enemy's greatest tricks. The evil one whispers lies in our ears, convincing us that we need to be (deserve to be) recognized for the work that we do. But first Peter 5:5 tells us that God opposes the proud. Ouch! If we move forward with our own agendas and wrong motivations, GOD WILL OPPOSE US.

If, on the other hand, when you envision the pursuit of your dream, the picture you see has less to do with you personally, and more to do with Christ, His Kingdom, and lives changed...you're probably headed on the right track. Don't get me wrong here, this is not to say that God calls us to anonymity and ambiguity, forever serving without joy.

Simply because something excites us, stirs up our passion, and fulfills a life-long dream does not mean it can't be from God. This is another one of those lies fed to us by the enemy of our souls - he tells us that "if it's fun and brings us pleasure, it must be based in selfishness. Serving God should be a sacrifice." The truth of the matter can be found in Psalm 37:4, delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. We have His blessing to be passionate and completely fulfilled in our service!

If you are unsure whether your dream is of God or not, ask Him to reveal to you the motivations behind your vision.

Is the song of your heart to adopt dozens of children from all across the globe? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you your motives. Supermom = wrong motives. Pouring out Christ's love and raising Christ-followers = His motivations. Do you have a passion for speaking and teaching in front of large groups? Be like Beth = wrong motives. Be a part of something beautiful in changing lives for Christ = His motives.

Do not allow yourselves to be confused! Saturate your minds with God's Truth, and the enemy will not be able to trip you up. Don't go to others to find out if your desire comes from self or God - go to Him! God already knows the vision He has placed in our hearts. We don't need to "figure it out." He created us, He predestined us, and He will reveal Himself to us through His Word.

In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will. ~Ephesians 1:11

Now THIS is Customer Service!

Dear Tyler,

We hope you are enjoying your Dyson vacuum.

To help keep it working at its best, please make sure you wash the filters every now and then. We recommend you wash the filters on your DC25 every 3 months.

If you'd prefer one of our experts talk you through it, call us toll-free
at 1 877 397 6622.

Dyson Customer Service is available from 8am - 7pm Monday - Friday and 9am - 5pm on Saturday (EST).

To help you remember, we will send you this wash day reminder every 3 months. Washing your filters regularly will help to keep your machine working at its best.

Thank you,

Dyson Customer Service
Toronto, ON.

(A Cheesy) Wordless Wednesday

(If I didn't have a blog, I never would have paused - laughing - to take a picture. His hindquarters are very happy that mommy has a blog.)

All the Reasons Not to Tithe

One of the lessons I've learned over the past couple years, the importance of tithing regularly and consistently. Prior to learning this lesson, though, we had a number of reasons excuses to NOT write a cheque every pay day.

Excuse #1 - We can't afford to give money to the church.

Looking back, I can see a number of things that we were able to "afford" that were not necessities. We managed to eat out with regularity. We had cable. We were able to "purchase" new furniture (on credit, of course). I believe that we all truly CAN afford to give money to the church and/or other important Christian causes; it's just a matter of choosing our priorities.

Excuse #2 - We will start to tithe when we CAN afford it.

For years, we told ourselves (and God) this one! But what exactly does it mean to be able to afford something? For tithing, it seems to mean that we have enough extra cash on hand at the end of the month to give. Interestingly, deciding to "afford" other things is as easy as being approved for a store credit card and promising to pay it later. Being able to "afford" to pay for entertainment is as simple as paying for it when we want it and sorting out what other area gets less next week.

It's like saying, "We'll have a baby when the time is right." Is there ever a truly right time? Are we ever the right age? Established enough in our work? Do we ever have enough of a nest egg in the bank? Perhaps there are some situations where it's actually wiser to not waste time waiting for the right time.

Excuse #3 - God wants us to pay our bills and put food on our table, so He understands why we can't donate our grocery money.

True, God wants us to pay our bills. (Matthew 22:21) But make no mistake about it - when we withhold money from the Lord, He does NOT understand! When we choose not to give back to God from what He has given to us, we are stealing from Him. (Malachi 3:8, Acts 5:1-10)

Excuse #4 - The church is just after my money anyway; they're getting rich off all of our contributions.

I suppose a couple bad televangelists ruined it for churches everywhere... The fact is that the local church CANNOT operate without our regular giving. Our giving pays the (modest) salaries of the pastoral staff, it pays the heat and electricity, it helps keep our preachers learning and growing, it funds our ministries. We are willing to pay to go to the gym, for our kids to go to school, to live in our houses. Why then, should we not be willing to pay for the privilege of attending our churches? Not that the church charges us to attend - but shouldn't we be willing?

Excuse #5 - My spouse doesn't believe in tithing.

First and foremost, I believe that God calls us to honour our husbands. So if he is against giving money to the church, we need to respect his wishes. That said, if we feel called by God to tithe, we need to get creative! Give by bringing snacks for Sunday school, by purchasing a couple extra Bible study books to give to other women, get a sponsor child (or two), volunteer.

Here's the short version of our story...

I wanted to tithe (specifically - as in, give 10% of our pay to the church). Pat grew up believing that the church was after money, so he wasn't fond of the idea. I used his reluctance as an excuse to give nothing.

Later, we both wanted to tithe, but we had managed to get ourselves deeply into debt. There wasn't enough money to pay the bills and keep the creditors from calling, let alone to just "give it away." I had a fancy budget spreadsheet with a bright, glaring, red -$800.00 at the bottom of every month. Whenever there was extra, we wrote a cheque for the offering. But $100.00 here and there just didn't feel right. In our hearts, we really wanted to tithe regularly; we simply could not see how that would be possible.

A strange and miraculous thing happened. A couple who we barely knew approached us one day and handed us a fuel card. I'm sure you're thinking what I was, "Oh, how nice. A gift card." Nu-uh - it was a credit card for fuel. They felt that God had called them to pay for our vehicle's gas for the next year! For the record, I think it's important to note that they were not a family of exceptional means. They were a larger-than-average family with a relatively average income, carrying an average mortgage and vehicle payment of their own. It was as though God said, "See! If you want to tithe, just do. They are doing it. You can do it, too. Trust Me."

Because of the generosity and obedience of that family, we made a choice to start giving back to God first, paying the bills next, and using the remainder for us. We also made the choice that - when we feel that tug inside telling us to give something to someone - we will do so immediately, without looking at the bank account balance first.

I won't lie to you and say that it has been easy or perfect. There have been months where I've been required to shop for groceries with creativity and faith. We have had to wait and save up to get new glasses. Many times we have told the kids that they must wait for something they want until the next pay day (or the next month, or the next birthday).

Yet we have not suffered. In those tight months, God provided for us through anonymous grocery gift cards, unexpected funds deposited in our account, and a million other "coincidental" ways. He has not only provided, but poured out financial blessings. God used this move to bring us one step closer to freedom from the yoke of creditors (yet keeps things tight enough to keep us from becoming prideful). He has given us opportunities to be a blessing in the lives of others, as that family was to us.

And for the record, the bottom of my fancy budget spreadsheet no longer shows a red minus sign, but a beautiful black zero. Every single month, even when unexpected expenses crop up.

(I promise you, this really was the short version of the story!)

So if you have reasons excuses about why you are not tithing, don't bring them to me. Our family is a living proof argument against every single one of them!

If you are curious how God can use you, work through you, and bless you through giving generously, check out The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn.

Monday Morning Randomness

"Date night" ideas from the comments - kidswap (Mrs. Maker), home date (The Wagner Family)...

I have friends who do kidswap once per month. Couple #1 goes out, dad of couple #2 stays home with his kids, mom of couple #2 goes over and watches #1's kids. That way everyone gets to bed on time. Works for them!

I've heard of at home dates before, but never quite how The Wagner Family does it. This could also work for those couples who are struggling to find time to really talk to one another throughout the week. Just a bit of kid training involved to get it going.

Other, "cheaper" date night ideas: coffee shop, browse at local bookstore, cheap theatre, wander the shopping mall together, do grocery shopping together. And, when the kids get old enough to leave at home for short periods of time - a great idea from some friends of ours - don't just pay the oldest for babysitting. Pay everyone for being good! A mom I know has 3 kids, ages 12, 10, 7. She pays each kids $2 for behaving while they're out. If anyone doesn't behave, that child must pay his/her $2 to the others.

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Words I've been chewing on thanks to Beth Moore's study, Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy.

[People today] believe in so much of everything that one would be hard-pressed to tell if [they] believe in anything. (pp. 11)
When I encounter others, can they tell what I believe in?

One of God's most serious charges against His people was the abuse of His temple. (pp. 15)
My body is His temple - have I been guarding it or abusing it?

Whether or not we are conscious of it, you and I are daily being indoctrinated and "trained" by our culture. (pp. 20)
What habits am I picking up from this culture that I need to get rid of?

Satan never wastes a fiery dart by aiming at a spot covered by armor. The bull's-eye is located dead center in our inconsistency. (pp. 25)
What area of my faith and commitment to God am I most inconsistent in?

Rule for victorious living: when the stakes are high, bow down low. (pp. 37)
Sounds simple, so why is it so hard to remember?

Image building is any way we intentionally make ourselves seem different - and usually more - than we really are. The inspiration for building and image doesn't come from the Spirit. (pp. 49)
I pray that I can be the same person in the privacy of my own home that I am on Sunday mornings, the same person with telemarketers and door-to-door canvassers that I am at Bible study.

Nursing inferiority can be just as self-consuming as seeking superiority. Constantly thinking little of ourselves is still thinking constantly of ourselves. (pp. 52-53)
False humility is kinda like wrapping pride up in another package. Lord, guard my heart!

Sometimes we don't recognize ourselves until we judge another and hear the Holy Spirit resound within our hearts, "You are that person!" (pp. 87)
Ouch!

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I need groceries. My house is in desperate need of some TLC. And all I want to do is sit around, drink coffee, and lurk on facebook (which is, fortunately, locked up tightly for Lent). I should also really think about fitting some daily exercise into my routine.

Tough decisions...

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In a couple weeks, I will be starting an online class/mentoring program called BLAST (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers) with Shannon Ethridge. I am excited and nervous all at once!

Saturday Morning Visit - 02/27/10

Alberta, 6:45am (posted later once the Mommy had some coffee in her system)

Sucking thumbs, snuggling blankies, watching Sesame Street.

To see Sat AM in Louisiana, go here. To post your Sat AM visit - take a pic, put in a post, leave your link in the comments. :)

Start Dating Again

I can't seem to put together a post this morning because all I can think about is that I get to go out on a date with a very good-looking guy (who I kinda have a crush on) tonight.

We live for date night. Well, I do! I think that there are times Pat would rather just stay home and veg out, but he indulges me. You know why I love it so? Date night refreshes me and strengthens our marriage.

It can be easy to fall into the trap of living our two different worlds, and simply crossing one another's paths at the end of each day. I'm home with the kids, doing the homemaker thing. He's out working, doing the breadwinner thing. And when the "work day" ends, we are both exhausted. I want to run away from homemaking and child-raising stuff and do something grown-up. He wants to turn his brain off and relax.

I am so thankful that Pat resists the urge to shut-down when he walks in the door and instead engages with us. Because I know how difficult it must be to walk in the door and be "on" immediately, I resist my urge to run away. But give us a couple weeks of this hard work, and we can begin to feel pretty disconnected as a couple.

Anyone else feeling this?

About two years ago we began a tradition of having a date night on payday weekends.

For me, date night provides the face-to-face interaction I need to feel emotionally fulfilled. It gives us both time to be together and talk about any family issues without being "on duty" or being continually interrupted.

(Mom, you may want to skip this next paragraph.)

As you know, foreplay for women has a lot to do with feeling emotionally satisfied. So for Pat, date night holds the promise that the date will continue once we get home.

Date night refuels us both, so that we have renewed energy and can continue with the hard work we both do.

Are you feeling disconnected with your hubby? Feel like you are not heard? Emotionally drained? Don't date in the bedroom as often as you think you should?

Try having a regular date night at least once per month, but ideally twice per month. I suggest getting out of the house if at all possible, to eliminate distractions and your own temptation to "just do this one thing." I would also suggest that you try having a scheduled weekly date night (or morning/ afternoon - whatever rocks your boat) as my new bloggy friend Kingdom Mama writes about here. Try dating your hubby for just a month and see if you don't feel a little bit more connected and not quite so emotionally drained.

Here's the thing. I know lots of my readers (like, three out of the five of you) have small children and tight finances. You're thinking, "We can't afford that! It's so hard to find a sitter!" along with various other reasons excuses. So I'd like for today to be a dialogue. If you have a creative suggestion on how to make a regular semi-monthly date night happen regardless of sitters and finances - please share! On Monday, I'll share some cool things that we (and other people we know) have done to work around these issues.

No one can say it quite like Lysa

You should read this. Really, you should! :)

Time Really Doesn't Heal All Wounds, But Hope Just Might

As time passes, the harsh sting of tragedy has a way of fading. At least for those of us viewing it from a distance.

Hurricane Katrina, Columbine, the Pine Lake and Edmonton tornadoes (locals will remember those), 9/11, the tsunami of 2004... These and other historic tragedies are but a distant memory for many (dare I say most) of us. Reality is, most of these events became distant memories to us the moment the media allowed us to forget.

More than a month has passed since Haiti was rocked by an earthquake, and the media has moved on to new news. Haiti's needs are no longer front and centre. It would be so easy to let thoughts of their plight retreat into the far-flung places of remembrance.

We must resist our North American urge to move on! The people of Haiti have only two sources of hope: God Almighty and the wealthy nations of the world. Truly, they have only One source of hope. But if we are His, chances are that He will use us to be hope-bearers throughout the world.

Haiti is THE ABSOLUTE POOREST nation in the western hemisphere. We live in the land of milk and honey. How can the poorest nation on this side of the earth ever recover from such destruction? There is but one answer - Y-O-U.

Sure, "the economy" is struggling. Is your stomach cramping with hunger pangs because you've had nothing to eat for more than 24 hours? Do you walk around barefoot, wearing only an old, hand-me-down t-shirt - no pants, often no underwear? Do you, along with a dozen other family members, live in a one-room 6x8 "house" made of propped up sticks and old sheets? If we answer no to those questions, we are wealthy.

Now that the fund-matching program by the Canadian government has come to an end, our donations are more vital than ever! The people of Haiti need us! Please, give with generous and reckless abandon. Give in His Name. Give hope.

(Just click the logo to give hope.)

Because this is one of the ways our family chooses to Walk with Him...

Loot Bag Winners

I have to be honest - drawing names had to be one of the hardest things I've done in a long time! I would think, "Oh, I really hope she wins because she is a new reader," or "Clearly she is in love with this book, so I hope she wins it." Frankly, it stinks to have a limited number of prizes. I wish I could be like Oprah (not that I'm endorsing her, ahem) and tell you all that there is a fantastic gift waiting for you under your seat!

At the risk of sounding trite, I would like to remind you all that you do have a gift to open each and every day, and that's the Word of God. (I know, there is no way that it doesn't come across as a cliche, but seriously! His Word never returns void!) I just spontaneously asked God if He had a treasure He'd like me to share with you today, and one of my memory verses from last year popped into my head:

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. ~Psalm 37:4-5, (emphasis mine)

And now, the winners of additional prizes...

#1 - Two copies of Lysa TerKeurst's Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl
Bobbie from 40 Shades of Pink

#2 - $29.39 gift card for Chapters/Indigo/Coles
Shauna of Shutterbugg Mom - That's Me!

#3 - One copy of Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity: you've been a bad friend to us
Heather from the land of no blogs

#4 - An original photocard of your choice created by Danielle of Danielle Designs, in digital file
Jenny at/of The Wagner Family

If you are a winner, you will be getting an email from me asking for your mailing address and/or gathering other necessary details to get your loot bag into your hands. Thanks again for reading, encouraging, and playing!

I have a couple interesting observations/comments about this whole process...

First, you girls are too much fun! I must thank my mom for getting everyone off to a great start by commenting on the party post repeatedly - totally in the spirit I was looking for. Ironically, she did not win a single thing! LOL!

Those who don't know me personally might not know this, but the first three winners are all people that I know personally. I realize that makes the whole drawing process sound fishy, but I promise you there was no fishy-ness involved whatsoever!

Was anyone wondering about the odd amount of the gift card ($29.39)? I will proudly confess to re-gifting. There was a book purchased that was later returned without a receipt, and the poor little cash card has been sitting around just waiting for someone to love it. Since I seldom go to the physical store to buy books anymore, I figured someone else should have it. As well, Lysa's two books were mailed to me by Proverbs 31 Ministries as a promotional tool for women's ministry - re-gift. And though I had planned to buy someone a photocard created by Danielle, she offered to do it gratis! Does it get any easier to give stuff away?!

A few people managed to get their names entered four or five times, yet two of the winners only entered their names ONCE! I guess the whole theory of increasing your odds doesn't apply when you're drawing names from a hat child's plastic drinking cup.

One last thing... It really is better to give than to receive. I mean, I am beyond excited to get these prizes sent out to the winners! Each name I pulled gave me a little thrill for that person. Total fun!

Okay, I lied - just one more thing. But good golly! Does anyone remember me saying that one of the potential prizes would be a copy of my first public talk on Mommy Why Are You Angry? Yeah, I forgot, too. Obviously. Remind me of this a week or two down the road, and I'll see if I can't find an occasion for another giveaway. ;)

All or Nothing

The song below has been on repeat this morning, while Jesus and I have our coffee together.

I believe that we make a choice each day, each moment, whether we will serve our God or serve this world (and the one who has dominion in it). He is a jealous God, and is not satisfied with any half-hearted effort. He wants our all; He wants to be our Everything. There's no middle ground when it comes to our relationship with our God. We make a choice each day, each moment, whether He is our All...or nothing.

Today, I pray that I will let Him be my Everything...in everything that I do.



God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything