Friday, June 27, 2008

When I Grow Up

Do you remember that question from your childhood - "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Today was my brother-in-law's high school graduation. As each young adult was being handed their diploma, one of the teachers told us about their future plans. One was going to work, many had plans to travel, some were honest about their intentions to spend a year partying, others were going to college and/or university. I was struck by a few that clearly had BIG plans about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Medical school, dentistry, optometry, hair school, anthroplogy...

I remember answering the question any number of ways, depending on how I felt on that particular day. I'm sure I told more than one person I was going to be a doctor (I've definitely got the handwriting part down). I foolishly may have told one or two people that I'd like to be a teacher (me, with the patience and attention span of a two-year-old). If memory serves, when they read what I wrote for my graduation, it was something like this, "Tyler will take a year off to work, then attend Red Deer College where she will get her Bachelor of Arts in psychology."

I wonder how many of those nearly 400 graduates today will do what they said they would do. How many will completely change their minds. How many will change their life course due to a change in life circumstances.

I did get my BA in psych. Graduated in 2001. But during my first year at college (1997-1998, yes, after working for a year) my life course changed. Big time. I became a Mom. And the funny thing was, deep inside I knew that this was what I really wanted to be when I grew up. I finished university because, well, I guess I thought I should. But in my heart, all I really wanted was to be a Mom.

I remember walking around the neighbourhood with my childhood friend, Niki. We each had a stroller with a wrapped-up baby doll, and as we walked we talked. How many kids did we want? (I always wanted six.) How old did we want to be when we got married? (Me - no later than 24.) Would we work when we had children? (Of course not! We'd obviously be smart enough to marry guys who made good money.)

It amazes me how God can bring everything full-circle in our lives. Those lazy summer days playing Mommy came back to me today. And all I could do was thank God for giving me the desires of my heart. For bringing me back around - from 'ambition' to just living. Sometimes, just living is exactly what we're supposed to do.

Thank-you, Lord, for letting me frow up to be a Mommy. Help me to remember that this is a gift from You, that they are a gift from You. Teach me to just live.


  1. I loved this post Tyler! Even though you may not be using your degree, it played a part in forming who you are today. If you had never finished you would always wish you did. It makes you appreciate where you are now. You are a good Momma, Tyler.

    I certainly can't say I am where I always dreamed of being in life, but I do hope that I get there one day...

  2. Thanks, Louise. In some ways you're right - I probably would have always wished I'd gotten my degree. But in other ways it brought difficulties. For one, I have barely made a dent in the student loans for a degree that I may never use.

    And when I first was going to college with a baby in day care, I struggled between those two worlds a lot. They really pump the students' minds full of 'free thinking, women's lib, career is everything' crap. I'll call it crap now because that's what I believe a lot of it is. They try to indoctrinate young and impressionable minds to all sorts of 'politically correct' ways of thinking.

    But the fact is that God isn't politically correct. And He put in my heart a desire and a calling to be a Mom. But to the instructors and the other students, choosing to be 'just a mom' would be a travesty. I spent years in school and working when I could have and should have been home with my babies, largely due to the fasle beliefs I picked up in college and university.

    (Wow, didn't expect that to turn into a rant, lol. Anyway...)

  3. Thanks for your comments on my blog... Yes these stressful, disobedient, defiant, arguementative times that our children present us will pass. At times I too feel overwhelmed and take time to gather sanity once again - I'll let you in on a little secret - I hide in the bathroom sometimes! I keep a little devotional book in there and sneak in a little uplift while I am hiding!

    I can't believe I hide at times - all I ever dreamed of was being a Mom to a large family! I do love it - most of the time.

    Don't you think Donna Reed, Carol Brady and Olivia Walton made it look so easy?!?


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