How to be Superwoman (or not), part two

I'm still answering a question posed to me last week. If you haven't yet, go ahead and read part one. Then when you hop back here it won't seem as though I'm starting in the middle of a thought.

Step Three: Make time.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

We've all heard it said that people make time for what's important to them. It's true. Writing is important to me, so I tackle it early in the morning before doing much of anything else (besides getting the kids off to school). I won't even start a load of laundry before writing on my blog, because I know that I am far too easily distracted.

I used to give myself "Facebook time" while I ate my lunch, until I realized that I was allowing myself to waste an hour (or more) every day doing nothing! Instead, I now watch BLAST* teaching videos while I eat my lunch. (Just a note, on weekdays I don't eat lunch with the kids. I feed them, and once they're done and into quiet time/nap I sit down for mine.)

Not only do we need to make time for the important stuff and get rid of the time killers, we really need to allow ourselves to become okay with leaving some things undone (whether for today or forever). There are times when my house looks like a sty and I make the kids pull out the "cleanest" jeans from the dirty laundry pile. There are times when my desk looks like a hurricane victim and I will actually choose to throw away some things that could/should be done. I have only been parent helper at school once so far this year, and probably only two or three times last year (whereas some moms - the really good ones who I want to be like when I grow up - are there twice a month). And I have not placed a photo in an album since Megan's birth more than seven years ago. So yeah, I don't do it all! Not at all.

Step Four: Find your own super power.

Each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. ~1 Corinthians 7:7b
Do not neglect your gift... ~1 Timothy 4:14a

I just need to say one more thing about how I get done all that I need to... It's all about personality and giftings! I like to be busy, I thrive on a full schedule, and I function best with my hands full. It's a fine balance between really busy and too busy, but I'd like to think I'm self-aware enough that I usually pick up on the signals that I'm doing too much fairly quickly.

The fact is, I'm a deadline girl and I always have been. Homework assignments, exams, pumping gas, waitressing - all were done best when I was under pressure. Recently, as my schedule began to fill up with Heart to Heart stuff and Logos society things, Pat told me he was excited - excited for me to finally be busy because he knew he'd be fed yummier meals in a tidier house, all while I was actually (finally) getting to work on my book.

Maybe it's not even that I thrive on being busy so much as I am too lazy to be allowed to be idle.

If you're not built like me, then you'll never be the kind of non-Superwoman I am. Each of us needs to find our own super powers. If you do best with the slow and steady method, that is your super power. Work with it. Embrace it. And for goodness sake, tell me how you always seem to be so calm, cool, and collected!

Lynne, Bobbie, does this answer your question? I know I didn't include a daily schedule for you Bobbie, but I'm hoping this gives a pretty clear picture. Does it? Thanks for asking! (I can feel my brain beginning to click again.)


* If you are pursuing a ministry in speaking and writing, and BLAST catches your interest - definitely DO IT! The learning has been invaluable. And if you register, make sure you let Shannon (Ethridge) know I sent you, and she'll give me a bit of a discount on my tuition. ;)

How to be Superwoman (or not), part one

In my Just Ask post last week, Lynne posed the question:
How do you get everything done for your family, not neglect your relationship with God, and find time to write too?

Bobbie's question was similar:
I have a general question but want specific answers.... How do you do it all? I mean, really, HOW do you do it all? What practical things do you do every day to fit in all that you've got going on? What does a few of your daily schedules look like? Do you use the crock pot to cook dinner a lot? Are you super organized? I need tips to be more productive in my own life!

So I figured it would be helpful share my four-step tutorial on How to be Superwoman (or not). Because I prefer to use more words than necessary, I'll split this into two posts. You'll thank me later.

Step One: Never neglect time with God.

I delight in Your decrees; I will not neglect Your Word. ~Psalm 119:16
Okay, that's not to say that I never neglect time with God. But I shouldn't. And neither should you. Know what I mean?

In my world, experiencing quiet time cannot occur if children are awake. And given my bent toward complete and utter couch vegetation after they're tucked in for the evening, the twilight hours are ruled out. By process of elimination, I've found that my relationship with God is best fostered in the wee hours of the morning.

A number of years ago I started rising an hour before the kids so that I would have enough time for coffee, prayer, listening, Bible study, Bible reading, Scripture memory, and worship. No, I don't do all of those things every morning! But I do probably tackle each of them once or twice over a two-week period.

I also don't view my quiet time as my only time of day to be in relationship with the Lord. He and I converse throughout the day. If I'm unsure about making a certain purchase while out grocery shopping, I ask God. If I am running late for an appointment but make it on time anyway thanks to low traffic and lots of green lights, I thank Him. If I have six million things on my "to do" list that day, I ask God where to start, and what to do next all day. Whatever doesn't get done, I trust is something that He didn't need me to take care of that day.

If you ever hear me being frazzled, flustered, or stressed, you can pretty much be assured that I've forgotten step one. The tough thing for me is that all of my secrets are revealed in my writing. Although, the knowledge that you will be able to tell when I'm not in close fellowship with my Abba is a pretty good accountability tool!

Step Two: Schedule, schedule, schedule.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~Proverbs 31:27
I like to feel organized. I didn't say that I am organized, but I like to feel as though I am. One thing that helps me is to schedule everything that I can.

Social life - While building friendships is very important to me (and also one thing God has called me to do), I tend to be very particular about how I make and take time to do so. If we're going to have coffee and a visit together, we will often email back and forth a few times to schedule a date and time - frequently up to two weeks away. But when I make these dates, I commit to myself to keep them (I really, really try not to cancel). Things like girls' night out, home parties, and so on only happen for me a couple times a year. It's worth saying that I have great friends who understand my priorities and my calling. I pray that they can say the same of me.

Marriage - I book a date night roughly every second weekend (on paydays). This has been an integral part of our marriage for several years. I also try to schedule my "work" during the day, so that my evenings are free to hang out with my man. I like to sit on the couch reading a good book next to him as he watches the hockey game. (Really, there is only so much hockey a girl can take! Even a Canadian one.)

Household duties - I used to try to get all my housework done on one day of the week. A grueling five-hour day of utter exhaustion. This house is too big for that, and the laundry far too demanding! We've recently begun doing the house cleaning as a family on the weekends, and I am really enjoying it! We tend to be homebodies on the weekends anyway, so it's not cutting into anything, and everyone seems to enjoy working together. I haven't fine-tuned the laundry thing yet, but so far it seems to be working well to simply toss in a load whenever I pass by the machines. The kids all put away their own laundry (well, put away is used very loosely).

When it comes to meals, I do best with a meal plan. Having a monthly meal plan helps me know what are the essential purchases, what meat to pull out of the freezer in the morning (or the night before), and how much prep time I'll need. Planning meals means I can decide which days require crock pot cooking in advance (activity nights) and which days I can do something bigger. I must confess that I have been lacking a meal plan for months now. The unfortunate solution has been too much eating out and too many dinners of kid fare (mini pizzas, grilled cheese sandwiches, etc.).

Family time - Busy or not, it's hard to get quality time together with a family of seven. So we try to get our time where we can... Family movie night, swimming, skating, walking the dog, going to the playground (neither of those last two really happens for 8 months of the year).

Pat and I also try to take individual dates with each child once or twice over the course of the school year. What works for me is to "blitz" them - I email Pat with four occasions (we don't really need to take Kai out yet) that all occur within two weeks. I try to combine our date nights with things that need to get done anyway. For example, I'll take someone for dinner and then we'll grocery shop together.

--------------------------
Pop back here tomorrow, and I'll conclude my answer to Lynne and Bobbie's question with steps three and four on How to be Superwoman (or not).

The Time Experiment Revisited

Have you ever wondered, "how will I ever get it all done?"

We have so much to do in each day, so many activities and obligations packed into our weeks. It's a symptom of our ADD, over-stimulated, immediate gratification society. Some would argue that we need to remove ourselves from society's mindset, but I'm not sure that would solve the problem. In fact, if we aren't keeping up (in our work, ministry, family life) with the rest of society, we're likely to encounter other problems.

So how can we live IN this world (and function at the level required to do so), without becoming OF this world?

I believe the first distinction is how we establish our priorities. I have found, by trial and error, that setting my heart on God and His ways first thing each morning has the power to alter my entire day. If I start out taking time with Him, the many other things that require my time that day tend to get done. If I start out my day on my own strength, though, I spend the next fifteen hours feeling as though I am one step behind.

Romans 12:2 says, Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Taking time each morning to renew my mind helps establish His priorities for my day, rather than my own.

This week I am taking an experiment in life. Each morning, after my coffee time with Jesus, I am going to make a list of all the things I think I need to accomplish for the day. Then I'm going to ask the Lord to show me what to keep, what to move to another day, what to toss altogether, and what to add. Once I have turned over my list into His (much more) capable hands, I am going to ask Him, "Lord, what do you want me to do now?" At the conclusion of each activity, I'll ask that question again. I can't wait to see how He uses my time!

* This is an archived post from February, 2009.

Got Excuses?

I am currently reading an e-book called "Your LAST Acne Solution" by Leo Kiesen. Now, before you all email asking me how much I spent on this book, and don't I know these things are scams... I cannot count how much money I have spent in the past several years trying to simply manage my acne (with no hope of getting rid of it). So a few small dollars on a system that addresses the causes of acne and makes claims of getting rid of it forever - worth a shot, I think.

Anyway, that's not even the point. The point is, he says something in his book that smacked me right in the forehead. I don't know if it's a "Leo original" or if he's heard it before (sounds like something I've heard before), but it's one of those sayings that is well worth repeating and mulling over for a while.

You can have excuses or you can have results, but you can't have both.

Want to lose weight? (see above)

Want to manage your finances? (see above)

Want to be more productive? (uh-huh, look up)

Want to get your children's behavior under control? (up there)

Want to grow closer to God? (yup, you guessed it)

It's actually worth saying again, because the simple profoundness of it applies to all things in life that require any amount of effort on our part.

You can have excuses or you can have results, but you can't have both.

It would seem that there is a bit of a theme going on in my world these days...

By the way, Bobbie, I am sorry that you hated my post yesterday. If it makes you feel any better I have slept in the past two days in a row. *hugs*

So what do you want to change in your life? And if you are not seeing results, what's your excuse?

Time Management Works for Me (Usually)

*This is a re-post from February of this year.

Have you ever wondered, "how will I ever get it all done?"

We have so much to do in each day, so many activities and obligations packed into our weeks. It's a symptom of our ADD, over-stimulated, immediate gratification society. Some would argue that we need to remove ourselves from society's mindset, but I'm not sure that would solve the problem. In fact, if we aren't keeping up (in our work, ministry, family life) with the rest of society, we're likely to encounter other problems.

So how can we live IN this world (and function at the level required to do so), without becoming OF this world?

I believe the first distinction is how we establish our priorities. I have found, by trial and error, that setting my heart on God and His ways first thing each morning has the power to alter my entire day. If I start out taking time with Him, the many other things that require my time that day tend to get done. If I start out my day on my own strength, though, I spend the next fifteen hours feeling as though I am one step behind.

Romans 12:2 says, Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Taking time each morning to renew my mind helps establish His priorities for my day, rather than my own.

This week I am taking an experiment in life. Each morning, after my coffee time with Jesus, I am going to make a list of all the things I think I need to accomplish for the day. Then I'm going to ask the Lord to show me what to keep, what to move to another day, what to toss altogether, and what to add. Once I have turned over my list into His (much more) capable hands, I am going to ask Him, "Lord, what do you want me to do now?" At the conclusion of each activity, I'll ask that question again. I can't wait to see how He uses my time!

Click to see my time experiment in action.

Visit We Are THAT Family for more WFMW tips.

Time is in His Hands

Just a quick follow-up to yesterday's post about allowing God to schedule my time.

First - It is waaaaay harder than I though it would be to pause after each activity and ask God what to do next! I'm in the habit of running my own days, so when I complete one task I keep catching myself just flowing into the next logical thing. It is taking a conscious effort to take that minute and seek God.

Second - I sometimes like my own plan better than God's! He keeps telling me, "no, today is not the day to plan out your trip." I really just want to sit here for a couple hours, plot out my map on mapquest, find hotels/cabins/vacation rentals, book, and have all the details settled. But it wasn't on God's list either yesterday or today.

Third - It is totally amazing to me how God can ensure I get all the important and urgent stuff taken care of in one short day! Amazing...

Here is yesterday's list...
- pick up fresh produce - not today
- go to bank - not today
- write for book - not today
- exercise - yes
- meet with ministry co-worker - yes
- sort out ministry binder - yes
- mail out e-News - delegate
- put away laundry - yes
- vacuum, sweep & wash - just s&w kitchen
- plan out Disney trip - not today
- retreat meeting - yes
- send out reference letter - yes
- Bible time - of course, first

* Of course, a few things not on my list of "to dos" came up throughout the day - dealing with emails, phone calls, feeding people, etc. I tried to take a moment each time another task popped into my head to ask the Lord about it.

It was neat, because during my quiet morning time, I really felt I needed to go exercise before the kids needed to get ready for school, but God told me to just stay and hang out with Him a while longer. He assured me He'd provide time to exercise later. Once two kids were off, the other three settled in for a movie and I was able to go for a good 20 minutes on my new (to me) recumbent bike. If you can believe it, there was time for me to do all of the "yeses" plus do lunch, play "Guess Who" with kiddos, do supper, receive and reply to more than 50 emails, and I even read a novel for 15 minutes!

I am a bit frustrated and confused that He has told me for two days in a row NOT to write, as I have also felt nudged that I'm supposed to be spending some dedicated time writing. When?! I know He can make enough time, and give me the words so the writing goes quickly, but I'd just like to have it all mapped out a little more clearly. Ha! I guess He'll tell me when to write.

Now, as much as I would like to surf the net and plotting out my map, I just took a moment to seek guidance and it's time to get something ready for supper. Then I'm interviewing 2 potentials for childcare providers, and God did tell me to vacuum today...

Fourth - Now I know why the Lord commanded us to take the Sabbath day and rest! He wants us to busy working all day. After six days like this, I am going to savour a day of rest!

God Makes Time

Have you ever wondered, "how will I ever get it all done?"

We have so much to do in each day, so many activities and obligations packed into our weeks. It's a symptom of our ADD, over-stimulated, immediate gratification society. Some would argue that we need to remove ourselves from society's mindset, but I'm not sure that would solve the problem. In fact, if we aren't keeping up (in our work, ministry, family life) with the rest of society, we're likely to encounter other problems.

So how can we live IN this world (and function at the level required to do so), without becoming OF this world?

I believe the first distinction is how we establish our priorities. I have found, by trial and error, that setting my heart on God and His ways first thing each morning has the power to alter my entire day. If I start out taking time with Him, the many other things that require my time that day tend to get done. If I start out my day on my own strength, though, I spend the next fifteen hours feeling as though I am one step behind.

Romans 12:2 says, Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Taking time each morning to renew my mind helps establish His priorities for my day, rather than my own.

This week I am taking an experiment in life. Each morning, after my coffee time with Jesus, I am going to make a list of all the things I think I need to accomplish for the day. Then I'm going to ask the Lord to show me what to keep, what to move to another day, what to toss altogether, and what to add. Once I have turned over my list into His (much more) capable hands, I am going to ask Him, "Lord, what do you want me to do now?" At the conclusion of each activity, I'll ask that question again. I can't wait to see how He uses my time!