Get Out of the Way

This morning, I was emailing back and forth with a friend about some current struggles in my life. Nothing serious, so don't worry, but stuff that needs dealing with.

I shared with her how I try to do the things I feel God has told me to do, but when the results don't seem to be coming I get frustrated and discouraged. I tell myself, "Why bother? Just give up."

Maybe it's not really me saying those words. They sound a lot more like lies from the enemy of my soul. (Hang on while I ponder this light bulb moment.)

Anyway, she wrote some words that I needed to hear:

God can use your obedience better when you obey and stay out of His way.

Obey. Then get out of the way.

Simple yet profound. Another light bulb moment in my day. Her words remind me of the words of one of my mentors, Shannon Ethridge (Author, Speaker, Life Coach, and BLAST mentor)...

Your job is obedience. God's job is results.

I keep getting hung up on results. I see that I don't have any more speaking engagements this year than I had last year, and I feel discouraged. I see that, in spite of a lot of effort with our kids, they still prefer to bicker almost constantly, and I feel frustrated. I see my credit card balance going down, down, down, then back up again, and I feel trapped. I see the number on the scale creep down by 6 lbs only to go back up by 8, and I feel defeated.

The problem with thinking this way is that anything that can be viewed as failure results in feeling discouraged, frustrated, trapped and defeated.

How I needed the reminder today that God is not an all-or-nothing God. He doesn't say, "Give me perfection or just give up." No, He just wants me to keep moving forward in faith. Trusting His promises, obeying His commands, and waiting on Him for the results.

Obey, then get out of the way, so He can do His job.

Sometimes the fruit of that obedience may result in internal change, or have impact for someone else I'll never know about. Those times when He chooses to let me experience successful results in a tangible way are a gift.

My success or failure is not defined by the tangible results. If I obey my Father, that is success.

Maybe some of you are experiencing a similar struggle right now, where you keep on doing what you feel Him asking you to do, but it just doesn't seem to be making a difference. Might I allow my friend's words to encourage you today?

Just obey.
Then get out of the way.
Your job is obedience.
God's job is results.

Don't be a Moses

I am reading Exodus right now, and it's definitely one of my favourite parts of the Bible. As I read I can envision scenes from "The Prince of Egypt" playing in my mind. Of course, those images are overlapping with visions of Charleton Heston standing on the mountain, beard waving in the breeze, holding two tablets of stone in his arms.

Rather than allowing myself to be carried away by the story (as I usually am reading the great history laid out in the Old Testament), I am trying to take things more slowly - a couple chapters per day - in an effort to glean more wisdom from the pages. Today, I am reflecting on Moses' calling from God and his response. (Below is my paraphrase of the whole situation.)

- Moses sees a bush on fire that is not burning up. The bush (the Lord) speaks to Moses, telling him that he has been chosen by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into freedom.

- Moses says, "Who am I, that I should do this?"

- God reassures Moses that He will be with Moses the whole time.

- Moses asks, "Well, what if the Israelites don't believe You sent me?"

- God tells Moses to say "I AM sent me."

- Moses then asks, "Well, what if the Egyptians don't believe You sent me?"

- God gives Moses miraculous powers AND assures Moses that He will reach out His hand over Egypt and they will recognize the Lord.

- Then Moses tells God, "But God, I'm no good at public speaking!"

- God reassures Moses that He will put the words right in Moses' mouth.

- Next, Moses whines and asks God to pleeeeease send someone else.

Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses. (Exodus 4:14a)

By the time I arrived to that verse, my anger was burning against Moses! I was so annoyed with him, thinking, "Moses, you dufus. He is GOD! Stop questioning Him. Just do what He says and trust that He will lead you every step. Sheesh, dude!"

And then I felt a quiet question whisper in my heart. How much time do I waste questioning God and His call? How far do I push with my lack of faith and trust? Do I bring the Lord to a place of anger or frustration before I finally listen and obey?

I can think of two areas where I'm pretty sure I've provoked God's ire...

God called me to write this book at least a couple years before I wrote the post about it. Part of the writing, I'm sure, is for me and me alone. While there have been huge improvements in my struggle with anger, there continue to be days where I feel as though I've fallen right back to the beginning. I believe that God's full deliverance will come once I have finished what He asked me to do. I'm still (slowly, and at times barely) working on it.

When we moved, I had a strong sense of awareness that God was calling me to a new ministry. A shift of focus in my ministry to women. I think that God knew I would not be able to let go of WOW to do something new (but would instead try to do it all). We arrived here and I knew that I was supposed to make my ministry focus threefold: writing, speaking, and ministry consulting. That was eight months ago.

Man, I am burning in anger at myself! What happened to my desire to serve? When did I become such a wuss? Why in the world have I been holding off on doing what I believe God has called me to do? Fear. Insecurity. Loneliness. Laziness.

Taking the BLAST course has been instrumental in building my confidence in my calling and teaching me the practical steps to take in order to move forward. And signing up for She Speaks this year has given me the kick-start I desperately needed to actually take those steps. I am ready to stop annoying myself and God by acting like Moses. Instead, I want to be an Isaiah.

Here am I, Lord. Send me! (Isaiah 6:8b)

How about you? Is there an area in your life where you've been a Moses lately?


P.S. If you think BLAST will help you launch your speaking and writing ministry, Shannon is taking applications for the fall class now. If you sign up, let her know I referred you - I get a little discount on my course costs if you sign up because of me. :)

Ever Wonder About Marketing? - con't

For this first part of this post, click here.

We left off with a question hanging in the air. Should a speaker/writer be promoting herself, or should she just leave that up to God?

As you know, I am a big proponent of people serving in their area of giftedness. I absolutely believe that every Christian MUST learn what their spiritual gifts are and then do all that can be done to develop those gifts and serve God with them. Romans 12:6-9 says, We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

We are instructed to use our gifts and use them well! (Luke 12:48 CEV) To be confident in our calling. (2 Peter 1:10) To invest wisely with our talents, not burying them. (Matthew 25:14-28)

Through these Scriptures, the counsel of the Holy Spirit, and the teaching of others (Shannon Ethridge through BLAST, Proverbs 31 Ministries through She Speaks, to name a couple), my perspective on marketing has slowly been changing. I am realizing that by not doing the self-marketing required to move ahead in this ministry, I am:

#1 - Not using my gifts as well as I could be;
#2 - Not totally confident in my calling or in God's ability (and desire) to use me;
#3 - To some degree, burying my talents.

While I continue to believe it's important not to become prideful (that is, being proud of MY gifts rather than thankful to the Giver), I am also learning that I have some serious obligations in this ministry. An obligation to other women (women who may be walking through some of the same stuff I've experienced) - to share with them that there is a Hope of something beyond their current circumstances. An obligation to myself - to be the very best I can be, not selling myself short or giving into fear and insecurity. And most importantly, an obligation to God - to ensure that He gets all the glory for how my messed up life has anything beautiful in it. After all, I have been entrusted with this life and these life experiences.

All this to answer my own question from the last post - Do I agree or disagree with the statement, "If God wants me to be marketed and get published, He will make it happen?" My answer is yes and no.

Yes - God can and will fulfill His will in my life.
No - I cannot simply sit back and wait for it to happen.

God and I, we're in a partnership in this thing (life, ministry). He can do it all without me if He wants to, but that wouldn't build our relationship or grow me spiritually. He wants me to be an active and willing participant in His work.

So, what do you think? Has your opinion changed from the last post?

And is there something you feel God is calling you to do that will further your ministry for Him and His glory?

Just a quick note to let you know that there's going to be some fun and excitement here this week. While I am off having much fun and excitement camping with my mom and kids, I've got some special things planned for you. There will be a couple "gooders" pulled up from the archives, but even better - TWO AMAZING GUEST POSTS! You are going to love these girls as much as I do, I just know it! I promise that you will be ending your week with a full heart and misty-eyes...

For Your Viewing Pleasure (or at the very least, a five-minute diversion from housework)

My first video submission for the BLAST course is officially complete! I submitted it last month, and for 30 whole days my fellow cyber-classmates viewed it and offered me their encouragement and suggestions. I am now going to take a deep breath, close my eyes, and share it with you...

The entire taping took almost 3 hours. Several times I stopped taping partway in because I ran into a mind block and just stopped talking. Then I discovered my webcam had an annoying audio delay, so my mouth was not working with my voice. I started again on our hand-held video camera, and did the same stop-and-start thing as when I first began taping. On the taping that I thought would be my final time through, when I had but two sentences left to speak, my office door swung open and a little voice asked, "Mom, can you get me a drink?" Ack! Taping was complete and (slowly) loading on youtube just minutes before the bus brought kids home from school!

Our Greatest Weakness is NOT Knowing Our Own Strengths

For my BLAST course, I have been reading Now, Discover Your Strengths (Buckingham & Clifton). The premise of the book is based around two core assumptions:
1. Each person's talents are enduring and unique.
2. Each person's greatest room for growth is in the areas of the person's greatest strength.

Is it going too far for me to say that I think EVERYONE should read this book?!

So often we focus on all the things we need to "fix" in ourselves that we lose sight of the fact that God has placed unique talents, abilities, and passions in each one of us. There is nothing more affirming or empowering than to spend a few minutes reading true words about what you're good at.

An added bonus (especially for a girl who loves doing surveys, inventories, and assessments) is that the book comes with a code for an online Strengths Finder evaluation, which helps to identify your top 5 strengths.

Since you already know way too much about me, you are probably dying to hear what they are. Right? ;) Here they are, all changed to first person since I'm talking about myself. Okee-dokey?

1. Relator - I am pulled toward people I already know. I don't necessarily shy away from meeting new people, but I do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around my close friends. I am comfortable with intimacy. For me, a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust myself to that person and share openly (even if it means I risk being taken advantage of).

2. Strategic - This perspective allows me to see patterns where others may simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, I play out alternative scenarios, always asking, "What if this happened?" This helps me to see around the next corner, discarding paths that lead nowhere, that lead to resistance, and that lead to confusion until I arrive at the chosen path - my strategy. Armed with my strategy, I strike forward.

3. Arranger - I am a conductor.When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, I enjoy managing all of the variables, aligning and realigning them until I am sure I have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible. I spend time mulling over just the right combination of people and resources to accomplish a new project.

4. Empathy - I can sense the emotions of those around me and feel what they are feeling. Intuitively, I am able to see the world through their eyes. I do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective, nor do I necessarily feel pity for their predicament. I do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but I do understand. People tend to be drawn to confide in me.

5. Communication - I like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. I want my information to survive, to divert other's attention toward my idea and then capture it and lock it in. This is what drives my hunt for the perfect phrase.

Now, didn't that make you want to run out and discover your own strengths?!

Wanna meet my friend, Deb, whose strengths are so different from mine that it's shocking?

P.S. This review was completely unpaid and unsolicited, done of my own free will on a book I paid for. Just so ya know. :)

Stirring up the Embers

There has been a crazy dream stirring up in my heart. The first little spark of that dream appeared several years ago - a hint of things to come. Recently, I have sensed God blowing on the embers and fanning the flame.

Like I said, it's a wild and crazy dream...

You already know about the writing. It's a passion of mine. Writing what I see, feel, hear, and learn makes it real. If it's not written down, chances are it will slip away into the recesses of my mind. I have many stories - a lot of life lived for such a young thang (teehee) - but one particular account has been burning to be told, the anger story (and how God is writing the ending). Once it is permanently etched in the hard drive of my computer, though, I have no doubt that God will blow His wind on other stories. Tales of starting out a young marriage in a faith dichotomy, a young girl looking for love in all the wrong places who eventually finds what she was looking for in the only One who can provide it, walking through post-partum depression and surviving, an ill-equipped and inexperienced "baby" Christian starting a women's ministry that somehow (in spite of her and all because of Him) thrives... There are volumes just waiting to be poured out!

Chronicling God's work on paper (or hard drive), however, is not the only way to get a message out there. Though I resisted, I have long sensed God pulling me to share the message not only through my fingertips, but with my mouth. It is a terrifying prospect, accompanied by many conflicting emotions. Fear of failure. Fear of letting God down. Fear of fumbling so much that the listener can only focus on my ineptitude and doesn't see God's greatness. Fear of being good at it. Fear of growing prideful. Fear of public scrutiny and harsh judgement. Fear of letting all my baggage lay on the ground in front of others. F-E-A-R.

I can let fear win, or - with Christ's strength - I can conquer it. Here are some things that have inspired me to go with the latter:
* When Moses refused God's call and asked Him to send someone else, "The LORD's anger burned against Moses." (Exodus 4:14) I would rather not be the one to incite God's wrath.
* I was told that, when God calls us to "minister to the masses," we have a responsibility to pursue our calling and fine-tune our gifts/talents/abilities so that we can effectively reach a great number of people. (Thanks, Shannon Ethridge.)
* A friend, with similar passions and fears, is walking alongside me. (Having a friend on the journey always makes it easier, doesn't it?)
* A verse was given to me at the time of my greatest doubt. Proverbs 1:21, "At the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech..."
* A couple other friends are cheering me on: this one, this one, this one, and most importantly - this one.

One tentative step at a time, I will move forward, laying down the kindling, striking the match, then stepping back to let the wind of God to fan the flame.

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On her blog, Lysa TerKeurst (of Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina) is giving away a scholarship for someone to attend the She Speaks conference (scholarship money from Cecil Murphy). She Speaks offers amazing teaching, practice, and peer critique opportunities for speakers, writers, and ministry leaders. On a little side note - if you have those passions in your heart and would like to develop your gifts, you absolutely MUST check it out!

I don't know if God has plans for me to attend that conference this year, but I do know that it cannot be done on my own strength (or finances - my priority for this year is to get my hubby back to Haiti, where his heart was left last fall). So I'm adding this post to the long list of women who would love to attend She Speaks, and leaving it in His hands. Trusting, too, that if He provides the scholarship He will also (somehow) provide the flight. And if not, resting assured that this step is not His next step for me.

Monday Morning Randomness

"Date night" ideas from the comments - kidswap (Mrs. Maker), home date (The Wagner Family)...

I have friends who do kidswap once per month. Couple #1 goes out, dad of couple #2 stays home with his kids, mom of couple #2 goes over and watches #1's kids. That way everyone gets to bed on time. Works for them!

I've heard of at home dates before, but never quite how The Wagner Family does it. This could also work for those couples who are struggling to find time to really talk to one another throughout the week. Just a bit of kid training involved to get it going.

Other, "cheaper" date night ideas: coffee shop, browse at local bookstore, cheap theatre, wander the shopping mall together, do grocery shopping together. And, when the kids get old enough to leave at home for short periods of time - a great idea from some friends of ours - don't just pay the oldest for babysitting. Pay everyone for being good! A mom I know has 3 kids, ages 12, 10, 7. She pays each kids $2 for behaving while they're out. If anyone doesn't behave, that child must pay his/her $2 to the others.

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Words I've been chewing on thanks to Beth Moore's study, Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy.

[People today] believe in so much of everything that one would be hard-pressed to tell if [they] believe in anything. (pp. 11)
When I encounter others, can they tell what I believe in?

One of God's most serious charges against His people was the abuse of His temple. (pp. 15)
My body is His temple - have I been guarding it or abusing it?

Whether or not we are conscious of it, you and I are daily being indoctrinated and "trained" by our culture. (pp. 20)
What habits am I picking up from this culture that I need to get rid of?

Satan never wastes a fiery dart by aiming at a spot covered by armor. The bull's-eye is located dead center in our inconsistency. (pp. 25)
What area of my faith and commitment to God am I most inconsistent in?

Rule for victorious living: when the stakes are high, bow down low. (pp. 37)
Sounds simple, so why is it so hard to remember?

Image building is any way we intentionally make ourselves seem different - and usually more - than we really are. The inspiration for building and image doesn't come from the Spirit. (pp. 49)
I pray that I can be the same person in the privacy of my own home that I am on Sunday mornings, the same person with telemarketers and door-to-door canvassers that I am at Bible study.

Nursing inferiority can be just as self-consuming as seeking superiority. Constantly thinking little of ourselves is still thinking constantly of ourselves. (pp. 52-53)
False humility is kinda like wrapping pride up in another package. Lord, guard my heart!

Sometimes we don't recognize ourselves until we judge another and hear the Holy Spirit resound within our hearts, "You are that person!" (pp. 87)
Ouch!

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I need groceries. My house is in desperate need of some TLC. And all I want to do is sit around, drink coffee, and lurk on facebook (which is, fortunately, locked up tightly for Lent). I should also really think about fitting some daily exercise into my routine.

Tough decisions...

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In a couple weeks, I will be starting an online class/mentoring program called BLAST (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers) with Shannon Ethridge. I am excited and nervous all at once!