Saturday, February 14, 2009

Criteria for Choosing a Husband

Pat and I don't "do" Valentine's Day. We came to the agreement a few years ago that it seemed foolish to make a big deal about a random day. (Don't worry, we still buy heart-shaped candy for the kids and make heart-shaped grilled cheese sandwiches. They're not deprived.) At some point in our relationship, though, we both realized that we are not the kind of people who are big on showy displays as a means for demonstrating our love and affection.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good gift! I melt for a special date that has been all planned out (right down to the childcare) by my love. But to insist that it needs to happen on a particular day in February seems like a waste of time and effort. And money. I mean, we just did Christmas for seven, then my birthday!

That being said, there was a time that these types of traditions and trappings were very important to me. The amount of effort a boy would put into planning out a special Valentine's surprise was a clear indication of his love and devotion. Wasn't it? For fun, I am going to share the tale of my worst Valentine's day ever.

I was just out of high school, dating a guy who I was thinking might be "the one" (who was I kidding, every guy I ever met between the ages of 12 and 18 was measured against my list of criteria). We had been dating about four months, and I just knew that he would have something special up his sleeve for me.

It was not a good sign when, at 4pm on Valentine's day, he asked me where I would like to go for dinner. In my most sugary-sweet voice, I suggested that we should probably go to whichever restaurant he had made reservations at two weeks ago (when I not-so-subtly reminded him of the upcoming day of love). He assured me that he had an infallible plan, and I should just go get dolled-up and ready to go.

He picked me up an hour later, and we proceeded to drive, stopping at each and every restaurant in our path. For two hours I endured the torture of his impromptu plan. Eventually, he accepted the inevitable - we would not get in to a restaurant on this particular evening. I was right and he was wrong (story of my life, ask Pat).

His next grand plan, "Why don't we just go hang out at the bar?" I suggested that the fool drop me off there, where I would spend the remainder of my Valentine's evening waiting to meet my new boyfriend - one who would love me enough to plan ahead for special days! (All the nice guys are found in the bars, right?)

Our break-up came close on the heels of this ill-fated Valentine's date. Now, I'm not saying that I am the kind of girl who just dumped boys willy-nilly on the basis of shallow things such as forgetting to plan ahead. But, we did break up. I'm just sayin'.

Anyone else got a great (terrible) Valentine's story? If not, I am willing to accept submissions of wonderful Valentine's dates, as well. Share your story in the comments.

1 comment:

  1. Worst... I was a total nerd in high school and wasn't the most sought after of girls. My second boyfriend of my life (the first was a sweet, candy coated a "bad boy" from another town. I was thrilled! he had no idea I was a geek! We had been dating for two weeks by Vday. He came to take me out at lunch, talked on the phone every night,we had gone out four times, he brought gifts and was overly chivalrous each time. On Vday - not a word from him...not the night before or that day (well, I was at school), or that night. The next night my mom (who worked in his town's hospital) came home to tell me the kitchen girl from his high school told her he was back together with his ex. He bought her a dozen red roses and chocolates and a necklace and showed up at the high school for all to see. Still think that day is dumb...



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