There has been a nudging in my heart, telling me that some things (many things, actually) need to change.
Food has been allowed to take up a place of control in my life once again. The physical evidence speaks loudly: my weight, the fit of my clothes, my less-than-cheery disposition, the heartburn, the stomach troubles... But the spiritual evidence speaks even louder: lack of focus, lack of direction, lack of satisfaction... It would seem that I've been attempting to fill my empty places with yummy tasting junk food. Again. Still.
But there is this part of me that keeps trying to convince myself to wait. Wait for the new year. Wait to get through Christmas. Wait until the season of temptation has passed.
As a family, we are functioning. Not struggling, but not thriving either. The bickering never ceases. The time-out chair is seldom vacant. The parental voices are too frequently raised. And the Word of God is rarely shared (as a family). It couldn't be clearer that saying grace at mealtimes and prayers at bedtime are not enough to impart Kingdom truths into the hearts of children. Daily family devotionals would be a good place to start. Turning off the mind-numbing box nothingness would likely help. Developing a family mission/vision/values would get our hearts and minds turned in the right direction. And so many more ideas come to mind...
But I tell myself that it will all work better if we start on the first. Fresh month, fresh year, fresh start. My lazy self says that there's no point in starting now, during vacation time, when the regular routine is not routine at all.
Even now, as I write these words, and I know that they are lies... I think I'd still prefer to wait. Am I too lazy to do the work to make the changes? Is it that I'm afraid to fail, so I put off starting? Perhaps I'm simply too selfish to make all the sacrifices necessary to transform myself and my family. Or maybe it's a lack in self-control.
Why is it that I put off the things that could and should be done today?
Today never "feels" like the right time to start changing my life. Like me, do you often prefer to wait until: Monday, next week, next month, January...before doing what you know you need to do? More importantly, have you found a way to overcome this struggle?