Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Putting a Bad Day Behind Me

Yesterday was a bad day.

Our Bible study leader wasn't there, and I was disappointed. I have missed her over spring break. Our discussion was different (stilted) without her to guide us.

Malakai ran away (far and fast) in the church parking lot. He ran past two other mothers and they just watched him. For the life of me, I can't figure out why people don't stop him! I mean, it should be obvious that a two-year-old is not supposed to be running in the midst of moving motor vehicles!

My allergies are going crazy. My nose was (and still is) itchy and sneezy all day. Super annoying.

After school, the three girls apparently made a unanimous decision to fight as much as possible and as loudly as possible.

I let it all pile up and it got to me! I was crabby, short-tempered, scowly, yelling, impatient, and feeling just plain tired. I was heavy on the yelling and threats, but far too light on the actual discipline and training.

This morning, as I reflect on what went wrong, all I know is that I want today to be different. Better.

I cannot control the circumstances around me. Ultimately, I cannot control my children's behaviour (though I can train them to behave well). Fact is, I cannot control my own emotions and reactions very well.

But I am reminded that He can. What He needs from me is simply my cooperation. I need to turn away from my sin (anger, impatience, yelling, laziness) and turn toward Him.

Faced with frustrations that could "ruin" my day, I can either choose to continue walking ahead (right into my sinful reactions) or I can choose to stop and make a u-turn.

I want to live a consecrated life. A life that is distinctly set apart for His purposes. I am learning that it is much less about the things that I do, and so much more about the things that I turn away from.

Today, so that I might cultivate the life God desires, I will turn around. I will seek Him. And when faced with all the stuff of life, I can ask Him to show me what to do.

Not doing what I want to do is not an act of my will. It is an act of submission to His will.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ~Romans 7:18-20

holy experience


  1. Could we practice together...submission to His will.

    Thank you so much for your honesty and for sharing with us today.


  2. Now I understand the irony! ;)

    That said, your post encouraged me today. Thank you.

    And also, I ate McDonald's for lunch. Beat that.

  3. Oh, pumpkin, my love... I am sending you cyber hugs and kisses and being encouraged by your fantastic example!! I love you!

  4. Thank you for your honesty here. We all have bad days when we are ashamed of our behavior (frankly, yours didn't seem that bad to me...which means my behavior must be really bad!). It's good that you took the time to take a deep breath and refocus your energy on God. I wish I did that more often.


I am so glad you stopped by! My hope is that we can engage in a conversation together. I love to reply to your comments, but I need your help to make that happen.

If you have a blogger profile, would you consider editing your profile to "show my email address?" Then, when I receive your comment in my email inbox, I can reply directly to you.

Alternately, you can check the box "email follow up comments to..." so that I can reply to you right here. (You will also receive other readers' comments using this method.)

I'm excited to get to know you better!