Unexpected Blessings are the Best Kind

This is a story about a big surprise. Now, some people don't like to be caught unaware - but that's not me! I LOVE to be astonished! Surprises are unexpected blessings, things of joy, miracles, full of excitement, extra special, and they make my heart happy. (Yes, feel free to throw me a surprise party. Just make sure lots of people show up.)

Not quite seven years ago (October of 2003, to be exact), we thought our family was complete. It wasn't a difficult decision for Pat to get the surgery because I was struggling with post-partum depression and we both believed that we were maxed out. But then my medication kicked in, family pitched in, and life felt closer to normal. And that decision that had seemed so easy became a burning regret deep in my heart. I was too ashamed to tell Pat of my regret (I mean, he had a sharp knife cut things down there!), but I did take it to God in prayer. Fervent prayer!

To my great joy (and Pat's), I came to him in August of 2004 with the news that our family was not complete after all! On April 13, 2005 we greeted the baby I had spent 10 months praying for - our beautiful fourth child and third daughter.

I consider Shea to be our miracle baby, a gift from God, an answer to prayer. The Hebrew version of her name, Shai, means gift. I chose her name before knowing the meaning, then searched and searched for a middle name that meant gift or blessing - until I stumbled across the meaning of her first name. God knew her name before I did!

I cannot imagine our family without Shea's big, blue eyes and infectious giggle. I praise the Lord that His plans prevail over ours (Proverbs 19:21). Whenever I fear that I may have messed things up, I need only to look at my precious Shea to be reminded that God can redeem any mistake.

As Shea grows up, I am so thankful that she isn't "growing into" her eyes. They continue to be breath-taking blue and so wide. When I look into the depths of those gigantic blue pools, I always think of the Precious Moments figurines, and I know that Shea is our precious one! Five years ago, God answered our prayers with the gift of a real, live precious moment that would last a lifetime...



* While this birthday post may have arrived a couple weeks late, rest assured that I did not - not for one moment - forget about the day and the moment of Shea's birth.

Home, Some Bitter Sweet, Something New, and Other Stuff

If you've been wondering why I went AWOL, you can ask my washer and dryer - they've been taking up all my time. We're home and settling back into life. Sort of.

We received medical confirmation this week that Pat's 'procedure' back in December worked. With that news comes both sadness and excitement. I'm sad to know that my womb will not carry any more children, that I will not have another teeny-tiny baby to hold to my breast. But there's excitement in moving on to a new phase in our family. A phase where each milestone reached is the last - the last first step, the last first word, the last time I pack a diaper bag. And each of those lasts (though sad) brings us new freedom as a family. I'm excited at the prospect of visiting Disney with our kids (a few years in the future), where all family members can enjoy the time and no one is confined to a stroller. How cool will that be?! No more wondering or worrying, no more getting hopes up, no more wasted money on pregnancy tests. I can finally work on losing the weight FOR GOOD, without the dreaded thought that I'm losing it only to gain again. Bittersweet moments...

Since I will soon be baby-less (Kai is walking pretty well these days, soon he'll be going to college), we decided it was a good thing to focus on the positives. To help me stay focused on the positives, our family went out and purchased ourselves a permanent reminder of how demanding babies are. Daisy Fluffy-Wuffy Rowan is a beautiful eight-week old Golden Retriever. (I chose the first name, Abbey insisted on choosing the middle name.) Pat is sitting beside me right now reading "Dogs for Dummies" so that he can take care of the house-training. Please Lord don't let him be called away for work for the next month... Everyone thinks she's adorable, except Malakai who is very focused on how yummy her puppy food tastes.

And - I am just dying to go to Church tomorrow!!!! It's been two weeks, and I feel like I'm starving to death. I have been keeping up on my Bible study book, but it's just not the same as teaching from our pastor. I am so fed by corporate worship, scriptural teaching, and fellowship with other believers. Can. Not. Wait. Seriously!

My Anniversary Gift

I may have mentioned that today is my anniversary. Well, technically it's not MY anniversary - it's OUR anniversary. Pat and I, that is. Nine years married. I can hardly believe it's been so long - almost a decade. Yet it feels like the time flew by so quickly that I can't even comprehend how we've arrived here.

In honour of this special day, I want to tell you a bit about our marriage...

We did things in the wrong order, not the way God intended for them to be. We discovered we were expecting a baby, and a few months later moved in together. Those months during my pregnancy were tough. You know how I get a wee bit of PMS? Well, multiply the hormones coursing through my body exponentially... Oh, poor Pat. I was a wreck. This is one of the many reasons I love him beyond measure - Pat stuck with me through my crying, yelling, pouting hysterics. He is a good man.

When Braeden was a year-and-a-half old, we had our big day. The time preceding that big day was no walk in the park, though. That's how it can be when you don't do things God's way - rough, tough, and painful. We fought. A LOT. It wasn't nice. Here's another reason I love Pat - he was totally committed. No matter how rocky things got, he was definitely in this thing for life. (I've never felt more special and loved than the day I told him I thought we should just call it quits and he told me that 'divorce was not an option.')

Over the past nine years, I have discovered a million things I love about Pat, as we've grown and learned together. But the thing about Pat that I love the most is his deep commitment to me, our marriage, and our family. He is willing to do whatever it takes to show his love. He makes me feel absolutely precious. Honestly, there aren't words to describe what that does to a girl! Here's just a few highlights:

Our first year of marriage, 1999-2000: Pat took his job of providing for our family seriously, and made sure we were able to have the things we needed (and some nice little extras that we wanted).

2000-2001: Pat cheered me on and supported me while I finished my university degree. I was in school full-time, working Saturdays (for the experience), and volunteering about 10 hours per week - and he never complained. Not once!

2001-2002: Pat and I had the joyful experience of 'planning' a baby together. In spite of my 'issues' while pregnant with Braeden, Pat was willing to endure another nine months to make me happy.

2002-2003: We moved to Calgary for Pat's work. He knew it was hard for me, so he made sure I got to come back to Red Deer lots. And after the birth of Megan, when we realized I was struggling with post-partum depression, he didn't even hesitate - we moved back immediately. Pat has always made sure I know that I am a priority in his life.

2003-2004: My man again showed his commitment to our marriage by taking me on a 'Marriage Enrichment' weekend hosted by our Church. (We all know how much of stretch that must have been, but for me he did it. Absolute sweetheart - that's Pat. BTW, this was a life-changing experience, so if you've never gone to one - DO IT!)

2004-2005: Pat had a vasectomy after Megan was born, as we both thought we had our hands full enough. When I told him I was expecting baby #4, he reacted with joy. No questions, no doubts, no disappointment. What he didn't say told me that he loved me more than any words.

2005-2006: This year was a difficult one for me in ministry. I was worn out and feeling beaten down. But Pat wouldn't let me give up! He pushed me forward, he comforted me, and he prayed for me. He affirmed my role in ministry - even though it took my time away from him and the kids. When there was ministry stuff to do, Pat would take care of everything at home and send me away - guilt-free. What a blessing! (He still does that today. For our last women's retreat, he even insisted that I leave the 6-month-old baby at home with him.)

2006-2007: You may have heard that Pat only wanted one child... But he has embraced our big family wholeheartedly! I have never seen a Dad have so much loud, crazy fun as Pat when he's playing 'Tickle Monster' with his children. (I believe this insane game was invented in late 2006.)

2007-2008: One thing I've noticed this past year is that given the choice, Pat wants to hang out with me! (Don't get me wrong, he still does stuff with the guys - that's important, too.) He tells me I'm his best friend, and he really means it. And he's my best friend, too. Really, there's no one I'd rather spend my days with.

I love Pat's zany sense of humour, the way he can make me laugh when I'm feeling grouchy. I love his generosity to his friends and family. I love seeing how he adores his children and plays with them. I love his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his butt (heehee). But if I had to pick just one thing, I love his love. He pours out his love and commitment in everything he does. I feel it, know it, believe it. I am loved by my husband. And that is the best anniversary gift a girl could ever ask for!

Happy anniversary, honey. Thanks for loving me.

Another Special Day

Yes, yes, you can believe your eyes! This is my third birthday post in the past 3 months. And there's one more to come in a couple weeks. You see, early in our married years my hubby worked away a LOT. (We think it averaged to about 250 days of the year.) I seldom saw him from October to May, but got spend oodles of time together all summer. Hence, 4 babies with spring birthdays, lol.

Enough dirty talk, let me introduce you to the birthday girl: Shea Makenna, 3 years old!

This is her typical expression - giggling. Well, besides the other standard look and sound - hysterical shrieking accompanied by gigantic crocodile tears because her siblings ran ahead of her, leading Shea to the inevitable conclusion that they're "not my friend, waaaaaaaaaaa!" LOL, we really do love her, drama and all. After all, she's somewhat of a miracle girl.

Pat and I had decided it was time to be done birthing children after our third, Megan. We were worn out, Pat was still working away lots, and I was struggling with post-partum depression. On October 31, 2003, Pat took a little trip to the doctor for a 'procedure.' Not long after that, I was on medication for the depression and coping with life much better. Oh, the regret! I just kept thinking to myself, "what have we done?" I begged the Lord for forgiveness for taking things into our own hands and not trusting Him, I pleaded with Him to heal our mistake, believing that He totally could, but knowing that didn't necessarily mean He would.

Needless to say, in August of 2004, I was not particularly surprised to see 2 blue lines. Pat, on the other hand, nearly keeled over in shock! I have to tell you, this man of mine is something special. Friends and family joked around (some less joking than others), teasing that the baby might look like the mail man. But my man, he NEVER questioned, hinted, or pondered anything but the truth - he was going to be a Daddy to 4! (Once he picked his jaw up off the ground, he was pretty darn excited, too.)


April 13, 2005 - right on her due date, our beatiful Shea arrived. BTW, her name means blessing (how perfect is that?). Once I was really in labour - did you know that the more children you have the stupider you become about labour - it took no time at all. Pat joked that the only reason I made him take me to the hospital was so we could show them how fast it could be done, lol. Home again in less than 12 hours. I have a very sad confession to make - it took me 30 minutes to find a baby picture of Shea, found it in a big box in my bedroom closet. Sadly, I found a zillion other pictures, dating back to Christmas 2002. I need help, people!

Shea is such an engaging little girl. She looks at you with those great big baby blues, cracks a giant dimpled smile, and lets out with a hearty and contagious giggle! It's the greatest thing. Ever.


Sigh. I can't believe that my baby girl will be starting playschool in September. It's not a cliche if it's true (is it?) - they really do grow up so fast.

Happy birthday, baby girl!