Monday, April 4, 2011

Why be you, when you can be me?

Some moms cry when they drop their babies off at Kindergarten. They mourn the "lasts" in life: the last baby, the last snuggles, the last one in a crib... I've never been particularly sentimental about the whole growing up process. I have to resist the urge to throw a party over the last diaper change, the last time we need to haul a stroller, the first day of school, or the first bus ride.

I used to think there was something wrong with me.

I'm a cryer when  it comes to other strong emotions, though. If my man and I disagree, even in the most gentle of ways, he's almost always guaranteed a waterworks show. I think, when it comes to wives, I tend to fall into the category of "high maintenance."
I really used to think there was something wrong with me.

The other moms all seemed better than me. The other wives easier. What is wrong with me?! Why do I have to be this way?! Why can't I just be like her???

Did you ever see that commercial with the machine that transformed young girls? As they waited in line for their transformation, a sultry voice would repeat, "Why be you when you can be me?" That supermodel's voice was my life's soundtrack.

But somewhere along the way I learned something... God made me just the way I am for a purpose.
Periodically, I need to remind myself that I am okay just as I am. So I figured that maybe you might need a reminder, too.


If you're a mom, you may experience feelings of guilt and inadequacy when you see other mothers.

If you're a wife, perhaps you struggle with feeling "less than" and "too much" all at the same time. You feel guilty for not being the wife you think you should be.

If you're a career woman, maybe you look around you and think you need to be different. You compare wardrobe, skills, popularity, and more, and feel as though you fall short.

If you're a Christian woman, add in feelings of not being as good or Godly as other Christian women.

You know what? Those feelings are lies! Your feelings cannot be trusted, for they will deceive you. Instead, trust in God's true Word.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
~ Psalm 139:13-16
Friend, you are exactly the woman you are for a reason.

There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing broken in you, and you do not need to be like anyone else.

God created you to be YOU, not anyone else.

Your personality is the perfect personality for you and for those you spend your time with. You have the body shape you do because He designed you to look a certain way. Your skills, gifts, and talents were given by Him to build His kingdom and bless those around you. Your shortcomings and struggles, too.
You are a child of God, and there is no measuring stick for who you are versus who you should be. There is no "right" kind of woman. God calls us to relationship with Him and others, not rules.

My friend, don't allow yourself to get caught in the snare of comparison. You are you, and the woman beside you is her - neither of you is supposed to try to be like the other.

God loves you the way you are. In fact, He intended you be the way you are for a purpose. So, instead of trying to be like her, just be the best you.


  1. Great reminder friend and exactly what I needed to hear today. ;) Thanks!

  2. My fave sentence was "Your personality is the perfect personality for you and for those you spend your time with." That's so true. I believe that God put my husband and I together BECAUSE of our unique combination of strengths and weaknesses. I also believe that God handpicked our kids, knowing what our kids would need and that we were just the right ones to help them get there! Love the verses you shared. How uplifting to know that each one of us was an "on purpose"!

  3. Thanks Tyler! This is a gooder!

  4. Thanks Tyler, this is a great post!! It was a great reminder that we are all made to be who God wants us to be!

  5. It is so refreshing to remember that God likes us . . . even our quirks and limitations.

    Great post, Tyler.


  6. This message really resonates with me. My own walk looks more like a stumble than a "walk."

    I am so grateful that God doesn't demand flawless lives; He's more interested in repentant hearts.

    Thank you for the timely message.

  7. Hey Tyler,

    Those were some good words. Very encouraging. Thanks.

  8. "Your personality is the perfect personality for you and for those you spend your time with." LOVE THAT. Why do I have such a hard time accepting that sometimes? Oh wait, you already answered that. ;) Thank you for this reminder.


I am so glad you stopped by! My hope is that we can engage in a conversation together. I love to reply to your comments, but I need your help to make that happen.

If you have a blogger profile, would you consider editing your profile to "show my email address?" Then, when I receive your comment in my email inbox, I can reply directly to you.

Alternately, you can check the box "email follow up comments to..." so that I can reply to you right here. (You will also receive other readers' comments using this method.)

I'm excited to get to know you better!