A Tour in Pictures

Welcome to our new house. You'll notice the front-attached garage; I am so glad that it's large enough to fit my big honkin' Suburban because I hear the winters this far North can get pretty nasty! You will also see the cute little front veranda. I'd like to put an Adirondack chair on it this summer, so I can have a nice little spot to hide out from all the noise.

Now we're standing just inside the front door, looking at the room we are referring to as the "front living room." Right now this space feels kinda cold and echo-y to me, but once we get a nice area rug and a chair to cozy up in, I think it will will be perfect for visiting.


For all the pictures, I'll try to leave some overlap so you can get a sense of how all the rooms flow together...

This is the dining room, attached to/ right behind the front living room. To get this picture I am standing directly in front of the stairs that head up (which are just inside the door and to the right). Make sense???


Just past the stairs heading up is a hallway - imagine that I've just turned right and walked down it. Welcome to the "fireplace living room" or "TV room," depending on who you're speaking to. You can see a little munchkin cozied up in the new chaise watching TV. We finally gave up on our 12-year-old plush furniture and splurged on some new (discount store) stuff. It is very comfy and easy to clean (an important feature in this household).

The TV room adjoins the kitchen. I am still getting used to having my kitchen and dining room so far apart (you can see the dining room near the top right of this picture - see the candle hanging thingie?). And those stainless appliances...let me tell you about them. Very nice looking, modern, the latest in thing. Mmmmm-hmmmm. Imagine your entire kitchen covered in mirrors where small children can admire themselves and rub their sticky little hands all over. You can easily wash those hand prints, but if you don't want to leave streaks you must also dry them. Several times a day. Or, if you're me, not! Our family now considers fingerprints a decorative feature. :)

Tucked back by the door to the garage is a special little room - the office! Oh how I love having a room that is JUST for the computer. And the forest green paint below the chair rail and on the crown molding (yes, they really did dare to paint the crown molding forest green)...well, it's growing on me. LOL.


Back by the office is a little half bath (I figured you all know what a bathroom looks like) and the stairs to go down. At the bottom of those stairs you can go left (bathroom), right (family room), or straight ahead (Abbey's room).

Abbey is quite pleased with her new set-up. She's got a fort and a desk all rolled into one. And look! Her bed is made! As you will notice, that is an anomaly in our home.


Here's the family room. That little sectional was a steal I found on kijiji before we moved, and it's got a hide-a-bed in it for when we have lots of guests to house. (I just love that there is enough room in each of the kids' bedrooms to add bedding on the floor for more. So if you were thinking of a visit, we've got space...) That LaZBoy chair is part of the 12-year-old set. It's pretty worn, but the kids don't care what their furniture looks like.


There's a little nook built in to the family room, I think intended for a bar (you can see the plumbing hook-ups on the right wall). But since we're more likely to be hosting family game night than anything, we figured we'd put our exercise equipment in the nook. Funny that two people who prefer sitting on the couch to any and all alternatives have so much exercise stuff, eh?


And turning another quarter-turn in the family room you will find the "toy den."


Did you see that peek of blue at the top right corner of the last picture? That was the doorway to Braeden's room. Notice the bed - now that's more like it! He just scored a comfy double bed from Grandma and Grandpa. The downside is that he has to move out whenever we have house guests (and our guests get to cuddle like they haven't in ten years).


Now imagine that you are running up one flight of stairs, turning left down a little hallway, taking another left and heading up another flight of stairs (this house should really be helping me get my cardio in). At the top of the stairs is a landing that didn't warrant a picture (with TWO linen closets that totally warrant a mention). At the top of the stairs you can go left (master bedroom), straight ahead (bathroom), slight right (Kai's room), and far right (Meg & Shea's room).

The girls have plenty of space for their little playhouse and vanity. Beds unmade, as usual. And their dressers and closet are just out of camera range to the right.


Malakai discovered the joy of hopping out of his crib before we moved. And since Braeden got himself some new digs, we convinced him to pass along the famous car bed. I will throw a party when he stays in bed the first time we put him there!

The master bedroom needs two pictures for you to grasp how much I love it. This is the first time ever that we have had more than just one foot of space to maneuver around the perimeter bed. In this picture I'm standing just inside the door. Notice the his and hers closets to the left. We have finally established who the true fashion diva is in our house, and I won't name names, but let it be said that my closet has a LOT of empty hangers!

Yes, we really need a picture above the bed there. Yes, I know that most grown-ups make their beds. And yes, those are separate blankets. All the stuff you never wanted to know about me...


Now I'm standing next to the closet door looking the other way. I bet you would have appreciated it if I closed the toilet lid, eh?


And though I've resisted posting any bathroom pictures for your viewing pleasure, I could not resist showing you the corner of our en suite. Because who doesn't love to sink into one of these babies?! (Now we just need a new hot water tank so that we can actually fill it enough to run the jets. Hahaha.)


So there you have it, for all you curious onlookers. And if you weren't curious - well, now you have successfully wasted half an hour. My apologies.

You know, I got to thinking that this would have been way easier to do in video form. But then I'd have to start all over again. Nix that idea!

In case I didn't mention it - we've got some space here for cramming in friends and their kids. So make a date to come visit. We'll make you hot dogs and macaroni and play board games with you. As long as you can bear the pungent fragrance of dead mouse trapped within basement walls, that is... But that's a story for another post

Look Who Got a Haircut, Finally!

The past couple visits to the hairdresser have resulted in such trauma, that we let this little man's hair grow for a veeeeerrrrryyyyy long time!

Notice the trendy "bangs in eyes" look we had going...



A good three inches later...

A Couple Questions

Is it pathetic that I spent an hour in tears last night...watching "The Biggest Loser: Where are They Now?"

And if so many people can lose over 100 lbs, why is it so darn difficult for me to lose 20??

And why the heck does watching "The Biggest Loser" make me crave cake and potato chips like never before???

Feet First

As a women's ministry leader, I've always had a heart for women who feel like they just don't "fit." I've spent many hours coffee-ing (I know, that's not a word) with lonely, isolated, broken women. One common theme I've noticed among these women is their heartfelt NEED for fellowship with other women. Which is why I've reached out even when it's inconvenient. Even when the invitation includes four children under the age of six (in addition to my own five), a ridiculous mess in my house, and two dozen hot dogs for lunch. Now don't get me wrong and think I'm some sort of saint - there are a million instances in my memory when I know I should have reached out and I didn't.

You know what else I've noticed? There are two distinct "types" among women seeking fellowship.

Type 1 is sad and lonely, she complains of being sad and lonely, she may even make pleas for friendship in conversation...but she doesn't actually take action. When she meets people she pulls into herself, allows shyness and insecurity take over, and she ends up with no invitations. This woman remains sad and lonely for a long time before someone reaches out and draws her into friendship.

Type 2 is also sad and lonely, feels shy and insecure. But she is different. This woman pushes past her feelings and makes herself do things that are not at all comfortable. She makes conversation when she meets people, even though she has a lump of fear in her throat. Rather than waiting for invitations, she risks rejection and invites near strangers for coffee. She steps out in courage.

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
~ Eddie Rickenbacker

In this new and foreign place, I am choosing to be the second type of woman. In spite of the fear, insecurity, discomfort, and ball in the pit of my stomach, I am going to women's groups and reaching out. I am inviting people to my home for coffee and Christmas-sy get-togethers.

Some of the women I meet are saying that I'm brave. The truth is...I am terrified. But the knowledge in my heart that I NEED other women pushes me to do that which I am most afraid of. Because my fear of having no one is stronger than the insecurity and fear of rejection.

Consider it Pure Joy?

I have a confession to make... I struggle between wanting God to answer my prayers and pour out His blessings on me, while also desiring a deeper relationship with Him and experiences that grow my faith to maturity.

I will pray, "Lord, give me a deeper desire to know You and Your Word." Then, when difficult, stressful, frustrating things happen I cry out, "God, what is going on here? Can't You please stop this messy thing that is happening to me?!"

I ask for one thing, then when God begins His work in me - work that will transform my heart and give me that which I've prayed for - I quickly backpedal and begin praying for Him to just put everything back to normal.

It is difficult to remember that life's trials serve a purpose. Our struggles test our faith - we are supposed to draw close to God during such times. Experiencing this testing develops perseverance (determination, persistence, doggedness, diligence, resolution) in us. And perseverance grows us into mature Christ-followers. (Taken from James 1:2-4.)

Our trials serve a purpose. So often we ask God to provide what we want - health, peace, financial provision, a husband, children, and so on - without taking into consideration the possibility that God has a much bigger plan. Possibly, not receiving all that we ask for is the path to fulfilling His plan.

Lysa TerKeurst puts it this way, "We want the promises, but we don't want to get any dirt under our fingernails in the process." (Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl, pp. 201)

Yup, that's me. I want all of the good God assures me of in His Word, but I sure don't want to have to work for it. I don't want to have to struggle and experience pain and heartache in order to experience blessings.

Yet if I haven't experienced that pain, pushed through the struggles, clung to my faith in God, can I even recognize a blessing?

Having spent years in deep debt and financial struggle, I remember to thank God every time I can go to the grocery store and buy whatever I toss in the cart (even if the cart load includes a box of Lucky Charms). If it had simply always been this way - where we needed an item and could go out to get it - I would likely attribute the state of our finances to ourselves. But having experienced times of huge heartache and trials, I am all the more aware that any financial provision has been provided by our Heavenly Father.

I think this is what James means when he says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." (James 1:2) He's not telling us to be ridiculous and run through the streets exclaiming, "I praise you, Lord, that my child has a disability! I am filled with joy by having a special needs child!" Rather, he's instructing us to have a joy deep in our hearts, because of the knowledge that God is using our trials to mature us and draw us closer to Him.

Morning Solitude

I've had a couple friends ask me how to start getting into the Word more regularly. I'm no expert, nor am I am shining example, but I do have some ideas that have worked for me (during those times that I am consistent).

Why do Bible reading, prayer, journaling, etc. in the mornings?

I don't know about you, but if there is something I NEED to get done, I have to plan to do it first thing in the morning. If I am in one of those phases where I'm trying to exercise regularly, I MUST do it in the morning. If it's housecleaning day, or laundry day, morning is the time to get it done. It seems that the more time I let pass, the easier it becomes to put off what's important until I eventually decide to take care of it...tomorrow.

Time can slip by so quickly in the early morning. If I allow myself to do anything before my time with God, I typically run out of time. It's easy to tell yourself, "I'll just unload the dishwasher. That will only take 2 minutes. Then I'll sit down with my Bible." But we all know how women are about multi-tasking! One small job leads to another, and before we know it half an hour has passed and life is upon us.

So, to prevent the stuff of life from distracting you from your good intentions to spend time with God daily, it needs to be the first thing you do each day.

What if I'm not a morning person? Or I just don't have time in the morning?

It's hard to change your regular routine! I suggest you start small. Set your alarm for just 15 minutes earlier in the morning. Once you sit in your quiet spot: pray for God to speak to you from His Word; read a short passage of Scripture (maybe just a couple verses); reflect on what they mean and how they can apply to you; then get ready for your day. After a week or two, set the alarm for another 15 minutes earlier.

When I first started getting up earlier in the morning, I found myself very tired throughout the day. Mid-afternoon would often find my nodding off or yawning uncontrollably. Some days I countered the tiredness with an afternoon cup of coffee, some days (rarely, ha) I would do a few minutes of exercise, other days (more often) I'd grab a power nap. By the time evening rolled along, I would have a second wind and end up staying up late, making the next day even more exhausting. But after about two weeks of this cycle, my body fought back! It is not often you will find me awake past 10pm on a weeknight these days. You also won't find me dozing off during my supper prep time anymore.

I'm so tired in the mornings that I'm not remembering anything I read.

Here are a few quick tips to make the most of your learning and retention from your Bible times...
- Always pray first, asking God to make His Word clear to you and asking Him to speak to you in your life from what you read.
- Read shorter passages and focus on them, rather than trying to read through several chapters at once. (Personally, I find that most of those 'read the Bible in a year' schedules have me reading far too much at once. Sure, I may have read through my whole Bible, but I haven't taken much of it to heart.)
- Write down a passage that really speaks to you on an index card. Carry it around with you and meditate on it throughout the day. Look at it when you're stopped at a red light, standing in a line, waiting on hold, taking your coffee or lunch break.
- Write in your Bible! Make notes beside passages that hold special meaning for you. These notes will not only help you remember what you've read and how it spoke to you, but they will hold special meaning to the people in your life who love you. I consider my Bible study notes to be a huge part of the legacy I will leave for my children. My hope is that seeing my faith walk, my joys and struggles, and my spiritual growth will inspire and encourage them as they walk with the Lord.

I want to read my whole Bible, but every time I get started I find myself bogged down in Numbers and I give up.

The best thing I ever did to read through my entire Bible is that I stopped trying to read it in order! The Old Testament (OT) stories are fascinating, but there are books of the Bible that sure do seem to take more effort to dig through. My system (though not necessarily the most theologically sound) is to read from the OT - a book, maybe two if they're shorter - then reward myself for the hard work and focus by reading a book from the New Testament (NT). To keep track of what I've read, I just check off the books in the Table of Contents of my Bible...next time through I turn the checks into Xs...next time I circle the Xs...

Some other ideas I've heard include reading a passage from an OT book and a passage from a NT book each day, progressing forward through each. Many of those 'read the Bible in a year' systems provide you with an order to follow. Or a new thing that I've heard a few people rave about is the Chronological Bible - the books of the Bible are rearranged so that everything flows in order chronologically.

The most important thing is to do what works for you! Personally, I like to have guidelines to follow. If you don't, just pick up your Bible and read, spend time in prayer, write out any thoughts you have, and go with the flow! Either way, God is pleased when we choose to spend time with Him each day. And life just makes more sense when each day is started being filled up. No, it's not perfect or easy, but there is a unique peace that fills our days when we start them out with God.

Crisp White Beauty

Look what I woke up to in the wee hours this morning!


Isn't it beautiful?

Don't get me wrong - I am NOT a fan of winter! But given that God has blessed us with this incredibly long, snowless, unseasonably warm fall, I see this snow in a new light. Our first snowfall of the year! And not until November 21st! Amazing.

Little known fact about living in the prairie provinces: it is a rare thing to go trick-or-treating on Halloween without winter boots and parkas on. In Alberta, we always buy costumes that are three sizes too big, so that they can fit on top of the winter gear.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere I go....

The God Chronicles - 11/20/09

I use The God Chronicles as a journal to record the many ways I see God actively working in my life, so that I can pass the stories on to my children. It would bless me if a bloggy friend or three joined in and linked up to TGC, sharing and preserving your stories.

I frequently write about those times when God has done a wow! kinda thing in my life. But God is active even in the everyday, little things of life, so I wanted to jot down one of those for today...

----------------------------------------------------

I often take off my rings (wedding band, engagement/wedding combo ring, family ring) in the evening and set them on my bookshelf. Every now and then, though, I will set them in some other totally convenient location. I once set them on top of the microwave.

The next evening (almost 24 hours later) as I was getting ready to head out somewhere, I began searching for my rings. And searching. I could not find them anywhere, nor could I recall where I had set them the night before. I shrugged it off, thinking it was one of those places that will come to mind later. But as I grabbed my purse from it's perch beside the microwave, I discovered my wedding band peeking out from underneath.

One of the kids had likely been grabbing something and bumped them. Or, there's always the possibility that someone thought they would be fun to play with or wear. But I try to think the best of my kids. ;)

I set my purse down and started looking around the kitchen for my other rings. After a minute of two, I stumbled across my family ring on the floor against the baseboard. Unfortunately, no matter where I looked and from what vantage point (crawling, standing, squinting) I just was not finding my precious diamonds! After about five minutes knots began to form in my stomach and throat.

A thought popped into my head... Pray. That was countered by the thought, but what a ridiculous thing to pray about! There are children starving and people dying of cancer, families breaking apart and worse. No matter how I tried to ignore that thought, though, it kept coming back to me. So I stopped and asked the Lord to help me find my ring.

After I prayed I wasn't sure what to do. Wait for an idea to come to me? Continue searching? Stop searching altogether? I took a deep breath, picked up my purse, and prepared to leave the house - trying to trust that God would take care of it. Somehow.

On my way out the door I stopped to straighten out the mat (as I often do - a crooked mat makes me crazy!). A glint of something flickered in my peripheral vision. Could it be? Nah. As if God would literally answer my prayer two seconds after I prayed it. I almost ignored that little glint, but my curiosity got the better of me.

Sure enough, tucked in the corner right by my front door - only a couple inches away from the heat register - was my ring! The tension instantly lifted from my neck and shoulders, I slid the ring on my finger, and headed out the door smiling.

As I hopped in my vehicle and turned the key I felt a little whisper in my heart, you're welcome. And I paused again for just a moment to give honour and praise to the One who cares about what's important to me.

Words to Live By

No food tastes as good as being healthy feels. ~Sheri Rose Shepherd

This is promptly being printed off and stuck to my pantry door.

An Email from Me to You

I have been trying to find a way to word an update on life around here...a way that wraps up God's truths in good writing. But every post I began resulted in an unfinished draft sitting on my dashboard. I decided that the best I can do is to copy and paste an email I sent to a friend about life in our new home. After all, we're all friends in this place.

The house is so fantastic! I LOVE it, LOVE it, LOVE it! It is big and beautiful. Now we need some furniture to fill it up a bit better. :) Last night I joked to Pat that I sure hated all the hardwood and vaulted ceilings b/c they made the kids’ noise echo. LOL.

The neighbourhood is lovely. We’ve met one neighbour (Abbey’s teacher) – she gave us her daughter’s name and number b/c her daughter does respite for families with kids with special needs. I can’t get over how super good God is to me! I’m going to call her this afternoon to set up an “interview.” We saw a little girl across the street who Abbey wants me to take her to see, and there’s a boy in Meg’s class across the street who also has an older brother (just a bit younger than Braeden). So looks like a buddy for all the big kids. We have yet to go meet all these people and set up play dates… All in good time.

We visited a new church on Sunday. I found it a bit stoic (contemporary music, but very reserved in their expression of worship – Pat told me I was the only one who raised my hands during the singing, lol). We are not totally sure about it, but we’ll keep visiting for a couple months to give it a fair shot. It’s the largest church in town, closest to the size and number of programs of CrossRoads, so we figured that it might feel the most comfortable.

Yesterday I went to the women’s coffee group there. It was okay. I enjoyed visiting with other women. But overall wasn’t totally sure if I connected with anyone. Mostly just surface. One woman at our table was preparing to be a surrogate for a friend, and I had a difficult time processing that information, so it may have distracted me from making good connections.

Today I went again, but this group is the Bible study group. I cannot even describe how great it was! These women want to go deep, and they were open about their struggles even though I was new in the small group. They were very welcoming and inviting. One of them also has a girl in preschool with Shea!

There’s a women’s Christmas event this weekend – either Th night, Fri night, or Sat AM. I couldn’t decide which night to buy for when I was at church Sun, so I asked which night they needed to sell more tickets for. Ended up with a lonely ticket for Th night. Turns out that five women from the group today are also going Th night! And they’ve invited me to sit with them. Seriously, God just knocks my socks off! I feel so special to Him, that He would take seriously my prayers for a fast friendship.

I am likely going to WW (Weight Watchers) tomorrow. Gained back a bunch since my fast. Needing some discipline and structure. I prob won’t stay for the meeting, as Kai is a trouble-maker, but paying for the weigh-in is often fairly good motivation and accountability for me.

(An addendum for my bloggy readers.)

Lest you think life is all sunshine and roses, I should mention that everyone seems to be struggling a bit to settle in. Though school is going well for the kiddos, behaviours at home are most definitely in the category of "acting up." Emotions are running high...bickering is frequent...tears come easily...defiance is the only rule. Oh, and the dog finally broke her hunger strike just today!

But I know that this is all part of the transition. I still believe that God has called us here for a purpose, and I know that when He calls us it is not always easy. Through His strength, we will all work through the tough weeks and come out the other side closer to Him and one another, ready to step into our calling (whatever that is, lol).

Quick Reminder

The God Chronicles will be going up on Friday. Please join me and link up!

I'll be back with something to say tomorrow. For today, I'll leave you with this...

Girls really do just wanna have fun. :)

(P.S. I was four months pregnant, so don't knock the belly.)

Greatness

What makes God great?

Is God great when He provides for our needs?

Is God great when He protects us?

Is God great when He heals us?

Is God great only when? What about those times when we ask - we beg - and He does not?

What do you suppose would happen in our hearts and lives if, instead of praising God for His provision and protection, we began simply praising God?

Lord, You are great. You are always with me and will never forsake me. You are the living water. Thank-you for Your unfailing love, for Your forgiveness of sins, for Your gift of salvation. Your name is holy and beautiful. I praise You, God, simply because You are...

When our praises are for who God is rather than what He does, our perspective shifts. Our joy is no longer tied into our circumstances, but is wrapped up in our relationship. This is the joy I long for - it's the kind of joy that will cause others to take notice of the fact that I have been with Jesus.

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of His holiness. ~Psalm 48:1 (KJV)

Reinvented with Grace

Moving to a new city - starting fresh - provides the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

I had visions of grasping this new start with both hands, and being the woman I really want to be.

I would be a great mother - patient, firm, fun, involved. I would teach Scripture memory verses at home after school. I would be in attendance at all school events and extra-curricular activities. I would not yell at my children. I would take joy in them and not allow irritation to overtake my face and my countenance.

I would also get back to eating well, going to a gym, looking great and feeling confident. I could dress a little more fashionably and do my hair and make-up daily.

There are a million things I'd rather be than who I am. Now is my chance to become that girl. Sherwood Park Tyler could be everything Red Deer Tyler wished she was but couldn't be...

Then reality came crashing in on me. We moved, we ate junk, I gained weight, I wore exercise pants for days, the children went crazy, I went crazy, I yelled and scowled and growled. Why can't I just change into who I want to be?

The truth is - I am not my own to reinvent. I don't get to become someone new and different simply because I wish it. I am who God created me to be, and any change that happens in me - in my heart - will be because He has made it happen. Because I am HIS to reinvent.

Lord, reinvent me with Your grace. I don't want to be someone who I'm not - I want to be the woman You will for me to be. Reinvent me from the inside out. Begin by changing my heart and my perspective to match Yours. Let me not measure my worth by the standards of appearance. I don't want to "look" like a good mother on the outside but have the stain of anger covering my heart. I don't want to put on the mask of put-together-ness and remain broken on the inside. I want to be changed by You, through You, for You, and for Your glory. Father, please, reinvent me... As Psalm 51:10 says, create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.
Psalm 51:7-15 (MSG)

In the Thick of it

The house is packed!

Two talented movers packed everything in our house in about four hours. They returned the next day to pack up the garage and shed - which took them less than three hours. And today they have the giant truck and trailer out front. It's amazing how quickly they can move seven peoples' possessions.

Tomorrow is "moving day." That is, we are actually moving in to the new house tomorrow. That will be followed by many, many days of unpacking.

I've turned over the reigns of WOW to the new Ministry Lead, Stacy. Yesterday I gave her my keys and files and binders... It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be.

I think the toughest part of this move is over - the saying good-bye. Now I'm just ready to get on with it!

I do apologize for the lack of updates (and especially the lack of any quality writing) on this here blog. I see that a few precious friends have deleted themselves from my list of "followers" during this lull. *wiping tears* For those who remain, if you'll just continue to stick with me through the next week or two of chaos, I promise to get back to some deep thinking soon.

Until then, I can barely think at all! :)

Good Medicine

Laughter, hot spinach dip, dessert you didn't make at home...these things are good medicine.

You may have noticed that it's been a busy week. It's been difficult to pull together a coherent thought for this place. But our conversation last night was of great help in that department.

We were expanding our vocabularies and our horizons over food and giant glasses of iced tea.

Somewhere in the conversation I mentioned the word ginch (or was it gonch). This brought shivers of disgust to my princess friend. Apparently that word provokes her mind to visual images of icky, dirty ginch (or gonch) with bacon strips. If you're as uneducated as I, you are wondering, "what the heck are bacon strips?" Apparently, this is the new and improved terminology for "skid marks" left behind in said ginch (or gonch) after not wiping properly.

I want to thank my girlfriends for the vocabulary lesson. I will never again be able to enjoy fried bacon.

This might hurt, it's not safe...

During this busy, sometimes stressful, all-too-often emotionally overwhelming season of life, the temptation to get caught up in it all is great.

I feel myself wanting to get all wrapped up in my stress.

I hear myself thinking that maybe it would be easier to step back now, distance myself quickly before it hurts too much.

If I give into either of those, though, I know I will be letting the enemy have his way with me. Getting all wrapped up in me keeps me from praying for the needs around me. It's so easy to slip into praying "God, be with me, bless me, help me" and neglect praying, "Lord, be with her, bless him, help them." Pulling away, while it would perhaps ease the painful parts of moving away, would leave me empty. It's impossible to pull back from the people around you and stay close to God. And without closeness with Him, my heart is a great, big hole.

This song has been drawing me back, helping me keep my heart where it needs to be - in the here and now, on Him.



This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions...