Women, Insecurity, and Friendship

The fellowship of other women is one of society's most undervalued blessings.

We fool ourselves into believing that we don't need it. I'm too busy to make new friends. We don't have anything in common. She won't like me. I prefer to be alone. Sound familiar?

I think we can all agree that women (generally) tend to be more emotional and expressive than men. We have an innate need to "talk things through." Men, on the other hand, want to "fix" things, and as such are not particularly good at listening while we talk it through. Only another woman can truly understand the need to talk about one subject until all possible avenues of discussion have been exhausted.

Women are also fairly detail-oriented. We like to be certain that all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together - before we even click those first two pieces together. Men tend to be more global in their thinking (that's my polite way of saying they're vague and/or lazy). You will never find a man who wants to hear how you have planned out your entire day in half-hour time slots. A girlfriend is the only one you can freely share stories of "poo and puke" without fear.

The best thing about other women, though, is their wisdom. Women live and they learn. Then they share what they've learned. If one woman has found something that works well for training up her children, or if she's discovered the secret to her hubby's happiness, or she knows where to find toilet paper for really, really cheap - she will tell other women!

It is through that exchange of wisdom that mentoring is born. It's not mentoring in the traditional sense, but a reciprocal relationship of teaching and gleaning, leaning and lifting, breaking down and building up. There is no relationship quite like the one formed on the foundation of fellowship - just being together.

Is it really even possible to be too busy to make new friends?! All you have to be is you. All you have to do is what comes naturally. The simplicity of just being removes any complexity.

* This is a re-post from the archives....