In this moment, as my impoverished state is exposed raw, I remember. Like scenes from a movie reel, one by one, the memories scroll. Beautiful, broken people, truly starving. Literally hungry every moment of every day. A scraggly man sporting foul body odour on the boulevard with a cardboard sign. A dark-skinned girl with a round belly - not full, but bloated with starvation and parasites. Three-thousand images brought home from Haiti almost one year ago.
And I feel it again. The true, raw pain that sears the heart with the seeing. And I know this is why I've been hiding. I can hardly bear it, this eyes and heart wide-open feeling. Yet now that it's back, I can't understand how I ever lived without it.
I need to be seen. Really seen. We need to be seen. Because until we are torn and exposed ourselves, our eyes are blinded to the pain around us. We change the channel to avoid it, because we cannot understand. It is in being seen that we learn to see. To really see, with eyes, mind, heart, and spirit.
When we finally see - really see - only then can we be used as agents of healing...giving Life, Bread, and Living Water.